posted January 26, 2018 12:41 AM            

But drug addiction or emotional battles also play a role in suicides or medicated deaths. That would be Pluto/Scorpio or Pisces/Neptune.

Have u checked out the charts of celebs who die before 40?

posted January 26, 2018 02:07 AM            

-Pluto conjunction/applying to Scorpio ASC (natal and progressed)
-Venus conjunction Uranus and Neptune (natal 3rd)
-Pisces Sun conjunct Saturn (natal)
-12th NN
-Mars conjunction MC (natal)
-Aquarius Moon/Mercury/4th house cusp (natal)

Aquarius is the strongest sign in my chart.

Well honestly. I do a pretty good job of hiding it - but I am a pretty big drug user. I suffer from depression and anxiety my doctor has confirmed this. When I was a pre-teen I was on Ritalin to prohibit my ADD/ADHD and it didn't help being the only kid. Anyways, I've hit young adulthood (22) and everything that I have wanted to do in my life truly has already been marked off. When I moved out 4 years ago after dropping out of college I started smoking a boatload of herb. The hardest drugs I've done is ecstasy and shrooms. Don't intend on ever going any further than where I've been because if I try harder drugs I know for a fact where I will be headed, an early grave.

I am very creative and self-aware but paranoid, anxious and depressive. I just moved back in with my parents and getting adjusted back to the "routine" lifestyle. The only good thing really happening in life is my guitar skills and musicianship. I've been jamming with a lot of other people/friends and I finally feel some sort of connection with the world. Now that I'm actually putting myself OUT there (to be vulnerable, sociable) I've noticed a lot of my flaws. I am insanely hard on myself and my art (I make punk rock music currently and I was an actor beforehand) and I am never pleased with myself. I feel lonely often, I feel I have too many casual-businesslike relationships and most of them either pertain to getting high with some friends or jamming. I swear to god I am trying my best to be more socially aware but it is just not appealing to me. Letting people close in is a very, very scary thing to me and I don't want to get hurt. The only way for me to get out my mind is too either have a guitar in my hand or some pills. It's getting ridiculous and I'm not even a certified rock star yet, lol. Venusian issues are really kicking my but right now along with my way of thinking. My Mercury is in the 4th house conjunct Saturn AND applying in progression.

I have already been on medication for having a mental breakdown and trying to hang myself. I see my doctor again the January 31st and I'm hoping for something better. I don't smoke weed as often anymore because of the lack of motivation feeling you get (not to say you don't lose emotional prowess though) I might be getting some type of anxiety pills (Xanax, Valium or whatever) and although I don't mind it I know how addictive these pills can be and what the government adds to them. I am still 50/50 on it but I know I'll need something realistically.

But yeah, to end my response I want to say this: I got to thinking earlier today and entered the dark part of my mind and I can't even lie to myself, if I had access to a gun....I would probably be dead right now. That is HONEST to god the truth. But I feel like such an old soul, I'm 22 and extremely world weary. I physically cannot and don't understand how humans can live to even see 40 or more years on this hell hole planet. Although when I really want to, I am able to stay present, but deep down I know everything and everyone is pointless. The life we live is a lie and we continually blind ourselves with bull just to pass the time. My depression/anxiety comes from a little bit of social situations but most of it stems from humanity itself. Life is what you make it, but there's always the truth.

I once again say; if I had a gun on me. I WOULD 100% kill myself. There is no thinking about it. I've had dreams, and suicide goes through my brain everyday at least once. I have a ******* problem and I have told my mom countless times this. I've told a lot of people.

I can be charming and fun when I feel it but it's not a normal feeling for me to achieve through mindset alone. I do not look like the type of person you'd expect to be so down. For some reason others don't take me seriously, gloss over it, think I'm naive and innocent. Most of my songs are ******* angry, and I play punk because I am full of angst and rebellion. It's not something I do for fame/fortune/status, I just truly enjoy being my damn self. I pray everyday, I would like at least one kid. I wish I could just go back to school, work a normal job, have an active social life just to fit the mold but I just mentally cannot.

posted January 26, 2018 03:22 AM            

Was there ever a time where you felt truly ecstatic to be alive?

posted January 26, 2018 04:29 AM            

Yes, When I was younger it wasn't this bad. Had friends, girlfriends, took some acting lessons/plays and got paid on YouTube. I would say after I dropped out of school at 18 my life has been dark.

I've seen a lot of bad things though and everything I've learned has mostly been self taught due to being the only kid. Burnt bridges, made new ones to burn them down again lol.. done some crazy **** . Thinking about it gives me a smirk.

You see Aries, I get my lowest when I'm by myself. You get me? I am often alone and have adapted to the loner rebel lifestyle. I am honestly scared to get my own spot because I am not mentally ready to handle it yet and my family gives me high standards.

I am the only Millineal (1995) male on my mom's side. I am articulate, smart and decent looking. I have to live up to a lot because of this and I'm unconsciously held to a higher standard. People expect me to be the leader.

I have to constantly keep my mind going or else I will sink into an abyss of dismay like I always do. It's the strongest when I'm by myself, or isolated. If I'm not doing something even if I don't have a job I will feel like a loser.

The scary thing about sun-Saturn in 4th:

Sun = life force, ego (pisces, not good for level headedness), desire, lessons, and my individuality, are destined to be alone. I actually like being by myself. I create my best work in privacy (privacy is a 4th house thing and what good is art if you don't show your god gift to others)

Saturn = issues with family (4th house) , roots, security (mental or physical but more mental being ruled by Cancer) , hard lessons in spirituality and peace (pisces) and feeling empty (Saturn in 4th, moon rules the 4th) comes with this... serious matters in nurturing and domestics.

Combine that with a 12th north node conjunct Scorpio asc, and I'm obsessed with my space even if it costs me my health.

3rd house stellium in Capricorn (neptune, venus, uranus, moon and mercury) there

I have too much mental energy and not enough outputs, resources or even support for real legitimate growth in my craft. Too much Aquarius energy in me to conform, too much Pisces energy to stay grounded, too much Mercury afflictions to apply my ideas correctly or have any real follow through.. (Mercury is strongest planet)

Mercury square moon
Mercury square Ascendant
Mercury opposite mc
Mercury opposite mars
Mercury sextile Jupiter
Mercury conjunction Moon (1 degree tight)

I'm sick of the universe giving me hotass to work with and I just wish someone or something really awesome would happen to me for once without having to use so much effort, imagination and initiative for so little gain to the point I want to blow my head off and call it quits.

I sometimes feel haunted (pisces feeling) and feel like the world may be out to **** me over (not people per se, but the stars itself) I was born with a pretty nice chart but my progressions and transits are really killing my stellium 3rd and my sense of life. Pluto is 6 degrees away from being transit my Venus, Neptune and Uranus.

Saturn is about to go into my 3rd.
Uranus in 6th is squaring my nUranus and Neptune.
Transit Neptune conjunct Saturn
Transit Neptune conjunct Sun

Neptune adding a double dose of Pisces to my 4th house. My energy really isn't going in the best houses and it sucks.

I really, really despise my 5 planet stellium in Capricorn. Not Good. Too brilliant to see things steadily, not a good supporting cast for it. I totally think I will be dead by 28 or 29. Because I don't even want to ******* spend thirty years here. If I go to hell, at this point nothing can be worse than this and people will move on. The most horrible thing about feeling about this is that I know people actually will miss me, probably more than I know. Everyone has a life, but I've been known to stick out and remain in a lot of people's thoughts. I do get compliments on my work like I said, and when I reach out to hang out I'm never really turned down unless they're busy.

posted January 26, 2018 09:10 AM            

I do look at transits of people who have died. I'm an astrologer, I can't help wanting to research everything.

I have noticed certain patterns also, but usually there are 2-3 outer planets involved by transit to angles/natal positions. It's often transits which indicate timings more than natal charts themselves.

In my experience a loaded 8th often signifies loss, more than early death. A red flag I would notice in the chart would be a multitude of Solar Arcs occurring in synchrony.

Think of war though and how indiscriminate early deaths can be in those circumstances. There are no rules, that quite work for death prediction really.... fortunately!

posted January 26, 2018 04:04 PM            

For example, Princess Diana had Pluto in Virgo in the 8th. Not only did she die young (Virgo which is ruled by Mercury), she died in a car accident. Transportation is also the domain of Mercury. Mars was also in Virgo in the 8th and the NN was in Leo in the 8th.

I don't know if you can take rulers of planets, but the ruler of her Mercury (ruler of her youth? I suppose you could say lol) was Moon in Aquarius opposite her NN in Leo in the 8th.

Ruler of her 3rd house was Neptune in Scorpio in the 10th. Her young death WAS extremely publicized and glamourized in the media and Hollywood. The work of Neptune and Scorpio. Secondary 3rd house ruler Jupiter was also in Aquarius opposite NN in Leo in the 8th.

Her 6th house was in Gemini so the 6th house ruler was Mercury so it all just ties back to what I've said above.

posted January 26, 2018 09:36 PM            

quote:

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I've noticed a lot of my flaws.

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