posted February 20, 2018 03:53 PM
Davina, I'm sure it's a mixture of both sides, but I doubt you're really a "bad" person. People have different points of view they cling to with the rigid hands of ego. Maturing is in many ways just outgrow as much of our ego tendencies as possible. Parents usually have no clue how many years they spent wanting particular things or outcomes for their child that may not have even been appropriate. They often want their child to live in such a way as to make up for their own (privately kept) failures or shortcomings, an unfair thing to put upon a kid (young or adult).In your birth chart, part of this is the Moon in the sign of Capricorn. I also have it in my birth chart. It is the Moon in its least natural sign expressed through the Saturnine principle of delay, suppression, rationality, responsibility, etc. So start by seeing the Moon in that context. We Moon in Capricorn folks start out having difficulty with our own feelings. So many of them can be discomforting and we can have trouble with getting close or with those who are close to us. Parental relations can be a challenge, because somewhere inside we'd prefer to just be in charge rather than go any further into the mushy, gooey, sticky territory of subjective feelings and other people's issues. But that's not how life works. The greatest achievement for most of us Moon in Capricorn people is to come to accept our parents and family as they are and not long for the family situation others seem to have.
But adding in Moon conjunct Neptune lends hypersensitivity, the need to dream and experience the ideal. But that will have to be created within you. DO keep believing in your vision of life and how you want to live, but don't see each view or current vision as carved in stone. You also have Moon parallel Uranus at 17° south. This combination of Neptune and Uranus conjunct/parallel Moon shows me you're original and inspired (or will be once you gain your confidence and feeling of self-identity), and a breaker of conventions. That's what a Moon-Uranus person is in some way. Those trans-personal influences will eventually come into play, but they are longer developing than the other planets.
Some of your transits the last few years have involved Pluto (and Saturn) in ways that could understandably account for some depression, but they won't last forever. So don't mistakenly identify yourself with "crazy." This is just an experience you are having now, and you can begin changing it at any time. At age 18-20 I had serious depression that required Rx help and counseling, but looking back it was only a growth phase into a place that had not been sanctioned by my upbringing. You have your own identity, but that does not mean it is approved by your family.
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Soul Stars Astrology - by the declinations guy
Declinations: because the planets move north and south of the celestial equator