posted February 26, 2018 10:32 PM            

...so much for been the sign of balance. Can you please explain to me this phenomenon. I really want to understand

posted March 01, 2018 03:03 PM            

OTOH, I greatly value the PTSD support group I went to and recommend such for others, though the actual therapist was more like the referee as we helped each other, even if she did offer advice and counseling. (Because the internet has twisted PTSD into something else with people using it as a way to control others online, I feel compelled to say the support group was about overcoming triggers and other effects, not about demanding the world become our safe space and shaming anyone who disagreed with us or otherwise didn't go along with what we wanted.)

I also valued one Jungian, though she was not fully trained (and I read of a study somewhere that therapists with less training tended to be better for those who came to them for help). She mainly helped me with dream analysis, but it was helpful to me in more ways than one so I'm glad to have gone through with it.

That aside...I have friends and other support I go to when I need it. And it is possible to be supportive while also providing reality checks, for it's what the friends I tend to go to do, and what I try to do right back.

Granted, there are moments that one needs someone objective who doesn't have to worry about personal consequences, which is why I and a romantic partner of mine went to a counselor together, and it was my idea (and had to talk my partner into it). But for all his talk of handling problems like ours, he spoke cliches without any awareness (we were sure he'd have said the same no matter what we said) so that we quickly dropped him, having no respect for him in his professional capacity.

posted March 01, 2018 04:00 PM            

Support groups are essentially suppose to run themselves bc is about the people there feeling empowered and providing support to each other, feeling less alone, the therapist is suppose to provide a structure that facilitates this unless is set up more like a class.

Therapists are technically not suppose to ever give advice. Therapist are suppose to facilitate the process of the client learning to make hard decisions on their own for themselves. The idea is for the client to learn to make hard decisions on their own. Therapists may go over pros and cons and help you process your thoughts and emotions so you arrive at a decision but they are never suppose to tell you what to do.

Now how to proceed going back to school is more about linking you to resources and less about "giving you advice." Therapist do need to put on their social worker hat from time to time.

Last yes some people are stuck in a negative cycle and you don't see change but they still feel they are gaining from therapy. A big factor of therapy is about feeling accepted, understood, heard, supported, less freaking alone in this painful world so they are gaining from it. Also the healing process is often multilayered so they may be making significant progress in their healing process but have not internalized yet what they have learned from therapy and the transformation has not taken place. And yes some people don't get to the transformation phase bc they don't put in the work and you have to put in the work, is a process and investment and it takes time and EFFORT. It really is an investment that requires time and effort and lot of mindfulness for you to see the rewards.

posted March 01, 2018 08:21 PM            

But there are two teens that will avoid it like the plague and were brought in by their parents/caregivers but their reaction to it was very strong, firm, non negotiable and not open at all to therapy whatsoever so not very libra like, not the spirit of balance associated with that sign and in both cases is very obvious to me they don't want to explore their emotions AT ALL and go there bc they want to avoid the pain and cope in their own way but that sets them up for other problems later on, one already self medicates with drugs ...

The Majority of libras though love the idea of talking things out in therapy....

posted March 01, 2018 11:22 PM            

Likewise, talking about illegal activities can rightly seem reckless, and the police learning of it isn't the worse they'd fear. (Many criminals are canny, able to access court records, warrants, and the like that has made many scared of coming forward, because if there's a court record of it then anyone, including the accused, can access those records, which often includes things like home addresses. Even parole officers and people who work at a prison can be found through legal means by those outside the prison who can then become targets. This is true even if no one over these records are corrupt or otherwise compromised. Of course even just others being busted because of something he said can be enough to out him as a narc, which can be traumatic for losing friends in addition to being dangerous.)

Btw, on the plus side, some kids have been known to try for psyche meds or take advantage of getting them so they could sell them (Ritalin, aka Vitamin R, was popular back when I was a teen, with crushing it down to a powder to snort it being especially popular) so at least they're not doing that.

I remember a problem that used to exist when I was a teen is that trained counselors and psychologists and social workers, even when sincere (as opposed to trying to sweep problems under the rug for the school and/or parents, or collecting bounties by doing something messed up) they can grossly misunderstand kids, mainly because the adult comes from a very different background, and think that because it's obvious to one's adult self that they're here to help and the system is here to help (and even if it got messed up earlier for the kids, that the kids should know it was a fluke and try again), while the kids have a very different subjective reality that is also based on reality. This may not apply because the parents are bringing them, but past negative experiences can still be interfering.

(It's actually amazing how naive therapists and social workers can be. I read 2 library books of a study, one in the 1970s and the other the 80s, that talked of life on the streets and homeless youth as if it were a big shock when it's always been like that, and I also couldn't help but notice that the 1980s study apparently never heard of the 70s study that found the same thing. People with the ability to go to college often don't have the background to understand kids who have been institutionalized, abused, on the streets, etc, and how radically different the world will look to them, which is to say it's a mutual misunderstanding.)

This isn't me telling you how to do your job, but something to keep in mind that many don't know, and kids misunderstand those trying to help them as much as those trying to help kids often misunderstand those they're trying to help. I look back upon my own childhood and know that in some cases I didn't trust the right people right along with the wrong ones (a cat who jumps on a hot oven won't jump on another, nor a cold oven, either). I could've got some people in big trouble but it never even occurred to me.

posted March 02, 2018 12:06 PM            

The other client has been seeing therapists since she was 5 years old and hates therapy and I have suggested many times we find her another therapist but she says no matter what she will not allow therapy to work and be a positive experience and keeps bringing up she has seeing a ton of therapists and its not me, its therapy. She self medicates with drugs.

So in either case it has nothing to do with me. I actually know these kids and have spoken to them and have their history and background. I have an extremely analytical mind with great instincts and am very good at assessing things like this. It is exactly what I said, I feel very confident in my assessment and judgment.

You made a lot of assumptions about me and they are truly incorrect.

posted March 02, 2018 07:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
You made a lot of assumptions about me and they are truly incorrect.

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I made NO assumptions about you, which is why when speaking about you (and the specific kids) I used words like "if" and "might." Rather, I described a situation that I'm aware of that may or may not apply to you (that is you might be trying to help kids who have wrong assumptions about you) and might even be helpful in connecting with them, with the ASSUMPTION in this case being that they are wrong about you. If I assumed you were one of the bad ones I wouldn't have bothered.

posted March 02, 2018 07:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LunarRose:
Maybe they'd prefer group therapy. Therapy is NOT balanced. Therapists don't talk about their lives to clients and can come off as judgmental or like they can't relate to clients. In group therapy these kids could meet others going through the same thing.

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posted March 02, 2018 09:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I made NO assumptions about you, which is why when speaking about you (and the specific kids) I used words like "if" and "might." Rather, I described a situation that I'm aware of that may or may not apply to you (that is you might be trying to help kids who have wrong assumptions about you) and might even be helpful in connecting with them, with the ASSUMPTION in this case being that they are wrong about you. If I assumed you were one of the bad ones I wouldn't have bothered.

It also seemed appropriate on exploring the idea why some are very resistant to opening up to therapists, though it goes beyond astrology.

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I will reread your post again this week. Thanks for taking the time to express your thoughts.

It probably is a beyond astrology thing. The 13 year old has moon in pisces like me and with venus in leo like me but sun and mars in libra.

posted March 02, 2018 09:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LunarRose:
Maybe they'd prefer group therapy. Therapy is NOT balanced. Therapists don't talk about their lives to clients and can come off as judgmental or like they can't relate to clients. In group therapy these kids could meet others going through the same thing.

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Well these two teens I am talking about would not go for group therapy. One lived in a group home and got plenty of group therapy and she hated it and the other does not want to explore his emotions or pain so group therapy would not change that, he would feel too vulnerable just like in individual therapy but I do like your suggestion.

That is why you have to shop around, if you feel judged then that therapist is not the right fit for you.

posted March 02, 2018 09:59 PM            

If your teen is acting out behaviorally or you are worried about their mental health and they don't want therapy then you as a parent can gain a lot from going to a therapist that knows about positive parenting and getting some parenting support.

posted March 02, 2018 11:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
This is my conclusion for now on teens and therapy.

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awww too bad.
I had some books to recommend to her.
oh well...

P.J. thanks, as always
Teasel .. glad you got away

posted March 04, 2018 02:30 PM            

I am simply sharing my conclusion on teens and the problems of forcing them to see a therapist when they dont want to. Including long term effects.