posted March 11, 2018 10:37 AM            

Is it true that Mercury in Water sign tend to use this tactic? If so, what is their actual purpose?

My partner (who has mercury in cancer) tends to threatening me especially if I say I will leave him (I'm not trying to threatening him because I have so many tolerance before and I feel like I can't take it anymore and really mean it when finally I say it) OR when we are in a big fight that looks like it will tear us apart and he will quickly declare us as an enemy starting to threatening me by backstabbing/find where my weaknesses to hurt me.

I personally do not like this as I thought it's kind of an immature and uncontrolled act. Very destructive to a relationship in my opinion. I become sick and tired of his threatening words.

Is it something that they will do in reality or is it something just a threat/manipulation to keep me under his control?

posted March 11, 2018 04:39 PM            

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Originally posted by capricorncheriscty:
I would say your partner also having Mars in Cancer is also part of his tragic behavior. Mars is at fall in Cancer. It is weak and known for being manipulative, especially in love and relationship matters. Venus in Gemini means he is a bit more communicative and open to hearing others thoughts. I have read that Mars in Cancer is most common in men who turn abusive (mentally or physically) in relationships. It is best you continue to talk to him about his behavior before it gets any worse and you both end up regretting something. Manipulating a loved one is a very sad road of life to follow, especially if you both see it happening but nothing is done.

If it gets to a point where he continues even after you've talked it out and it is just too much, you should either get couple's therapy or...break up I suppose. I hate to give you that type of advice, but no one should be treated like that.

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I would very much agree with this statement.

posted March 11, 2018 08:20 PM            

Thank you for your honest advice, yes, he always does the threatening especially when he wants something from me but can't say it directly at first until you find a way to make him tell you. At first I don't take it seriously as I thought BS. But then I found there's a half truth in his threatening words. For example, the day when he asked me to be his gf (indirectly saying) and I rejected him, he threatened me that I would regret it as he wouldn't help me anymore at work and there were some girls in the line for him that I should proud he chose me and he would make sure it was my loss in life. Of course I just laughed it out as I thought what a BS. The next day he asked me once again and put me in the corner, I said no and I didn't like being forced like that and he threatened me again that it was my last chance and this time he would really destroy my career and he would make sure my suffering. I was angry and asked what he really wanted from me. He said that he wanted a yes answer and there was a no option. I said it was a cruelty to force someone into something she didn't want to and what a bad human he was using threats to get what he wanted. He didn't take my anger seriously rather he found it funny. He even didn't give me time to think about it that he wanted a yes answer like right now or he declared war right away. I said okay just for saving my job and later I found it was true that there were some girls including his ex that he put at arm's length and he really did some damage with my job by spreading bad gossip when we first broke up.

There are a lot of threatening words he uses and those example is one among many. I grow tired of it as I feel a lot of pressure and get into stress.

I have tried to discuss about the "threatening" behavior with him but I don't get any clear answer. He just said, "just so you know". I also said to him that it's not a healthy communication between me and him if he keeps giving me vague answer to everything which tends to always get me and him into argument as I prefer clear communication in the relationship rather than guessing what it means or round around in a conversation if he really wants the relationship last.

So I wanted to know about Water Mercury people, how's their minds work using this indirect conversation? What it means using threatening words in their mind (which in my Air mercury mind, they're just trying to make more damaging or pushing me away to the edge of the relationship)? I also know some other Water Mercury who use this tactic very smoothly or full with emotions, it depends on their Mars I think to show some aggression according to what they are thinking.

posted March 11, 2018 09:03 PM            

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
I would very much agree with this statement.

Personally, my bf has Mars in Cancer. He’s quite manipulative. He tends to threaten to leave me if he doesn’t get what he wants when we fight/argue. I call him out on it because I know he’s not really gonna do it (which is usually the case). He also has this thing of making me feel bad when he wants to spend time with me but I have to do something else. Sometimes he pulls off the “babe I’m sick” move to get me to come home when I’m out for a while. I think it’s cute but sometimes I tell him straight up it doesn’t work like that. Mars in Cancer tends to be very indirect about their wants. It’s not passive aggressive like Mars in Libra, it’s just plain passive. Also, when they are mad, they turn real cold on you but want you to come comfort them in reality. These men are more like women in that sense. I don’t really think it has something to do with Mercury at this point.

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What aspect your bf's Mars make?

I heard only once when he threatened me about him leaving and I responded with "my door is opened, don't waste my time". He left but days after he came back and I never heard he threatens me about him leaving anymore.

He also tends to making me feel bad IF the drama he started first becomes bigger. He always tries to make me canceling schedules with my friends because he always feels threatened if I spend time with my friends, he is either starting a non-stop argument or pop-up at my door. I even have already given up some of my outdoor activities involving friends because we have constant argument/fight of his false accusations. He uses "sick" tactic only if I don't give up in our arguments and he starts feeling guilty. But you can not tell him to give up his social activities.

When my partner is mad, he turns like a big wave of emotions. Very very emotional. Can turn physical real quick then leave real quick. Other times you can see he holds tears if he feels really guilty while at the same time feels attacked by your truth.

posted March 11, 2018 09:25 PM            

If they feel insecure or upset thats when they unleash it as its the only tool in there arsenal they can defend themselves.

Maybe my Cap Asc cancels out my Cancer Mars since I seldom do it.

I'm very Independent and pretty much have everything together, so there's no need.

posted March 11, 2018 09:27 PM            

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Originally posted by hearttreasure:
What aspect your bf's Mars make?

I heard only once when he threatened me about him leaving and I responded with "my door is opened, don't waste my time". He left but days after he came back and I never heard he threatens me about him leaving anymore.

He also tends to making me feel bad IF the drama he started first becomes bigger. He always tries to make me canceling schedules with my friends because he always feels threatened if I spend time with my friends, he is either starting a non-stop argument or pop-up at my door. I even have already given up some of my outdoor activities involving friends because we have constant argument/fight of his false accusations. He uses "sick" tactic only if I don't give up in our arguments and he starts feeling guilty. But you can not tell him to give up his social activities.

When my partner is mad, he turns like a big wave of emotions. Very very emotional. Can turn physical real quick then leave real quick. Other times you can see he holds tears if he feels really guilty while at the same time feels attacked by your truth.

I agree that his Mars in Cancer makes him more like a woman in a sense.

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My bf’s Mars oppose his Jupiter and square his Saturn natally.

Don’t get me wrong, I am only telling you the bad side of it. My boyfriend has been a great partner to me. He doesn’t get threatened when I hang out with friends or go out by myself. It’s just sometimes when he wants attention while I’m busy, he can use guilt-tripping tactics to get my attention. He has never laid a hand on me. Although, he does have a tendency to make me feel guilty even though he was the one who started sh*t when we fight.

I think Mars in Cancer men can be sort of babies. They will sulk if they don’t get something that they want. They go for their desires in somewhat underhanded ways. You can sort of “discipline” them like how a mother would discipline a child that’s throwing a fit. The minute you call them out on something or put them on a timeout (ignoring their ridiculous behavior), the more they will behave. The thing is, these men are so adept at figuring out someone’s weaknesses, they can ruin your life if you’re not careful. My boyfriend himself has told me stories of what he’s done to his enemies in high school. It wasn’t pretty. Lots of drama. He’s not like that now, although he can still do it if he wanted. I guess if they are not self-aware about their tendencies, they’re more likely to remain in an immature state of mind.

In all honesty, from what you are saying about your boyfriend, I think you two are just really incompatible. I was wondering if you can post your synastry. I would be able to take a better look.

Also, your bf and mine almost have the same placements.

posted March 12, 2018 02:48 AM            

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Originally posted by DualGemV2:
hmmm... I think the biggest problem with Cancer mars is they use emotional manipulation as a defense mechanism when triggered.

If they feel insecure or upset thats when they unleash it as its the only tool in there arsenal they can defend themselves.

Maybe my Cap Asc cancels out my Cancer Mars since I seldom do it.

I'm very Independent and pretty much have everything together, so there's no need.

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The independent and much have everything together are probably your Aries moon as I am the same. My Cancer Mars mother also told me I am the most independent child and the one who irritates her the most as I keep everything together by myself. I actually learn to more in touch with my femininity with my partner as he is more like woman in a sense than me.

I think Mars in Cancer does the emotional manipulation as they are very much in touch with motherly nature, they will keep doing it (and become unconsciously) if those tactic is always successful.

I know not every Cancer Mars is the same. My Capricorn moon and Mars in Cancer brother acts more mature, a little bit cold and controlled than my partner but they share the same trait: can be very emotional. You can see this especially when you are lucky enough seeing them cry in front of the people they feel safe to. You can feel their emotions out with the tears.

posted March 12, 2018 08:07 AM            

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
My bf’s Mars oppose his Jupiter and square his Saturn natally.

Don’t get me wrong, I am only telling you the bad side of it. My boyfriend has been a great partner to me. He doesn’t get threatened when I hang out with friends or go out by myself. It’s just sometimes when he wants attention while I’m busy, he can use guilt-tripping tactics to get my attention. He has never laid a hand on me. Although, he does have a tendency to make me feel guilty even though he was the one who started sh*t when we fight.

I think Mars in Cancer men can be sort of babies. They will sulk if they don’t get something that they want. They go for their desires in somewhat underhanded ways. You can sort of “discipline” them like how a mother would discipline a child that’s throwing a fit. The minute you call them out on something or put them on a timeout (ignoring their ridiculous behavior), the more they will behave. The thing is, these men are so adept at figuring out someone’s weaknesses, they can ruin your life if you’re not careful. My boyfriend himself has told me stories of what he’s done to his enemies in high school. It wasn’t pretty. Lots of drama. He’s not like that now, although he can still do it if he wanted. I guess if they are not self-aware about their tendencies, they’re more likely to remain in an immature state of mind.

In all honesty, from what you are saying about your boyfriend, I think you two are just really incompatible. I was wondering if you can post your synastry. I would be able to take a better look.

Also, your bf and mine almost have the same placements.

Mine has Leo sun, Cap moon, Leo mercury, Gemini venus and Cancer mars.

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His ex also admitted that he had always been a great bf to her (I know this is true as I find another truth from his friends) that when she knew he had new gf (me) she asked me to break up with him and I didn't realize I had been manipulated by her story (she has mercury in Scorpio) telling me that they had never been breaking up and lying about her condition.

Short story, our relationship was kind of very messy in the beginning. His Cancer mercury also has a problem to tell me the whole truth and very confusing and frustrating to my Air mercury.

I have more male friends than female and before giving up my social life and change it the way he wants me to, I either wasted my time looking for a side job by being social or hanging out with my most male friends as constant emotional story draining me which most of the time I experienced it while hanging out with female friends. I think he is suffered for a low self-esteem and it triggers his insecurity. I don't know what goes on in his Water Mercury, but sometimes he goes too far just to get reassurance he wants to.

Yes, I also feel like he is a big baby. Kind of funny actually as he sometimes wants me to act like breastfeeding him.

I don't know if I could say that we're incompatible but maybe the opposite because we really have this comfort sense to each other and some sort of understanding. We just have totally different reaction to certain situations.

His moon is in my 1st house and he said that he felt immediate comfort when he met me that he felt like he had known me a longtime before and had a longtime relationship with. He had a longtime relationship before and other relationship but he never experienced the comfort he had when he was with me. He is not that cold for me, it is me that sometimes colder as I can separate emotions and logic easily.

The funny thing is his venus conjunct my ex's venus. It's trining my sun.

His moon conjunct my neptune and my moon conjunct his jupiter.

I think the synastry houses play more in our relationship. He touches my 1st, 6th, 7th, 8th house. I'm not sure about his rising sign, there's big possibility that my moon is in his 10th house.

posted March 12, 2018 08:11 AM            

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Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
This behavior is immaturity and insecurity, not astrology. While it is true that Mercury in Cancer tends to think and react emotionally, there is nothing preventing that same placement facilitating empathy, except the person's maturity.

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posted March 12, 2018 08:24 AM            

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Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:
@hearttreasure

does he have moon or Venus in aspect to pluto

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He has Moon sextile Pluto, Mercury/Mars trine Pluto, and Venus minor aspect to Pluto.

He is heavily a Neptunian too. Moon conjunct Neptune and Mercury/Mars opposite Neptune.

posted March 12, 2018 09:46 AM            

I was about to ask if Moon/Mars are in aspect? Or Mercury/Mars are in aspect?

When I get into a fight my with Water Mars friend. He hits below the belt and it can get very personal. Even if it started off as a discussion.

I have this trait too with Moon/Mars in aspect. But I avoid getting personal.

posted March 14, 2018 05:44 PM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Hitting where your emotions are could be a Mars in Cancer trait.

I was about to ask if Moon/Mars are in aspect? Or Mercury/Mars are in aspect?

When I get into a fight my with Water Mars friend. He hits below the belt and it can get very personal. Even if it started off as a discussion.

I have this trait too with Moon/Mars in aspect. But I avoid getting personal.

My Dad has Sun/Moon in Can/Cap. He does the same. Hits where the emotional tender spots are.

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I don't care about someone hitting where my emotions are as I don't know where's my emotions exactly. The way he chooses to use "threatening" words toward me is something that I don't understand and it hurts me as I will never do such those thing to intentionally make someone to feel my pain too just because I get hurt, by rejection or whatever. He never threatened his exes including his longtime gf when she had an affair, but why to me ? I wonder, is it triggered by synastry/composite?

He has Moon/Mars and Mercury/Mars. He is way more aggressive than me in an argument/ fight.

I never ever get into an argument/a fight with my Cancer Mars brother, yet, but I don't think we will in the future, so I am very much surprised when dealing with my partner. My Mom has Mars in Cancer too, while sometimes she argues about me being too independent, usually when my Sagittarius mars said "adios!" a.k.a avoiding tidal wave, she stops, but not with my partner, he just keeps talking and talking. It's true that everything can turn very personal real quick.

posted March 15, 2018 01:36 AM            

Cap Moon can seem stone cold tough and/or calculating at worst. Or responsible /dependable and very reasonable at best.

When in aspect to Neptune I think the nature of Cap Moon is still there I.e high appreciation for stability, security and even materialism.

But Neptune does add a softer, spiritually inclined nature that is the romanticist. So this Cap moon will not be the type to get a job that will require 24/7 commitment.

It may suggest creative abilities, attraction to the arts or spiritual pursuits.

But even with this being the case, it is likely that Cap Moon may appreciate the more commercial value of such pursuits and look for ways to turn them into a career or a way of making a living.

posted March 30, 2018 03:45 AM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
My impression of Cap Moon is that most I know,rarely do things haphazardly.

Cap Moon can seem stone cold tough and/or calculating at worst. Or responsible /dependable and very reasonable at best.

When in aspect to Neptune I think the nature of Cap Moon is still there I.e high appreciation for stability, security and even materialism.

But Neptune does add a softer, spiritually inclined nature that is the romanticist. So this Cap moon will not be the type to get a job that will require 24/7 commitment.

It may suggest creative abilities, attraction to the arts or spiritual pursuits.

But even with this being the case, it is likely that Cap Moon may appreciate the more commercial value of such pursuits and look for ways to turn them into a career or a way of making a living.

Rarely is the Cap Moon ever the type to have heir heads in the sky. Even when Neptune, Uranus aspects the Moon, the native is still pretty grounded and sober ime.

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I find Cap moon people are very secretive with their emotions/feelings, almost similar to Scorpio moon, which is if you are the one person who likes emotional honesty, it's very hard and confusing to deal with them.

My partner has done things haphazardly, no one knows but me. Yes, as two days after we got married, he cried and finally admitted that he did some of the things in the past without thinking first, indirectly, like water mercury style of communication but he didn't say sorry about it, he just looked regretting it. He is such an emo and sensitive guy I know but at the same time can be the meanest, insensitive cruelest person once he thinks you deserved to be destroyed at the moment.

Strangely enough my partner is not that regularly cold towards me. With strangers he is also not showing coldness, but extremely shy and looks innocent until he gets warm up and he just keeps talking/flirting or joking or gossiping, even spill a tea about his personal life as a victim. (I've read somewhere that water mercury people have a tendency twisting a story so that they would turn out to be a victim.)

That is why at first I couldn't believe he has moon in Cap. I've tried different birth time a.m. to p.m., he is still a Cap moon.