posted April 17, 2018 11:47 PM            

I have bad experience with my Scorpio Mother in Law before I marry my husband. When I first met her, everything was fine, she seemed happy that her son (my Gemini husband) brought me to meet her. But my relationship with him soon became such a mess, on-off roller-coaster and infidelity issues as I didn't know he still kept his long-time gf on the side but I was the one who got accused of cheating a lot.

I remember one time, when I tried to talk to him about his behavior, he told me that his Mother told him that if he continued a relationship with me, I would control him and put his pride down as a man (I think he told her, let's say I came from a well-educated and good condition family). At the time I didn't know that his Mother is a Scorpio but I had suspected that she has some Scorpio in her chart. As I hate being accused of something that I am not, I said to him, "it's ridiculous, it sounds like your Mom is the one who has the controlling issue. See the reality in our relationship, have I try to control you all of this time? What I found is, it is you the one who try to control me and my life. Don't accuse me of something that I am not just because you are the only one who has the problem." Since then he never mentioned his Mom. I knew at the time that it was a sign that his Mom kind of a negative/toxic influence but at the same time he is closer to her than to his Father because of past problems in their home (it was a turmoil/abusive household he grew up).

After 2 years he played games (series of testing and lying and hardly committed), I decided to talk to his Mom after I tried so many ways to get rid of him because I knew he listened to her. I explained what I had been through in a relationship with him and I hoped she told him that I wanted to move on that I would be glad he stayed with his long-time gf (who is happened to have a lot of Scorpio in her natal chart) and left me alone. But the reaction I had gotten from her was so volatile that forced me to leave her house. It took me by surprised that I cried on my way home. I knew she tried to protect his name but making me looked like the guilty and the problem one, calling me names a destroyer of her son's relationship with his long-time gf, it really hurt me deeply and will never forget how she treated me.

I eventually got married with him because nothing could stop him and surprisingly his Mom acted like we never had problems. He said that his Mom was a forgetful of any kind of problems, my tiny little voice said "no, it's sounds like.. a manipulation", because I just *knew*. (I still didn't know his Mom is a Scorpio at the time)

Then one day, one of his other family members told me that I should treat my Mother-in-Law (his Mom) with RESPECT because she had been offended by me deeply by my bad behaviors and she was in resentful of me, that she believed I will treat his son bad in the future. So I got a lot of advice how to be a good girl and some of his other family members just looked at me dirty.

I was shocked. I felt backstabbed because she knew the history of my relationship with her son and I never treated her with disrespectful or even raised my voice talking to her. In front of me, she was all smiling or even showing some care to me. Then I realized, IF my husband was there she acted like all fine. Until these days, my husband doesn't believe my story that in our back she tries to influence other people of their family members that I am a bad girl.

posted April 18, 2018 07:26 AM            

Scorpio is suspicious of anyone and everyone until they get used to you. And then they can act as if none of their earlier behaviour was ever questionable.

When they are protective of their family, the instincts are to be martial. So I would keep my distance.

In your case, that is tough. You are "new" addition. And crying on your wedding day cannot be a good sign.

Your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest (if not one of) the happiest days of your life.

I think the other family members are used to indulging your Mom in law. So they don't want you to "upset" the status quo-hence the dirty looks.

But I really don't care for both your Mother in law or the other family members. The husband is whom you married&they are the outcome that comes with that. So it starts and ends with him

posted April 18, 2018 05:38 PM            

If there were so many infidelity issues before marrying this guy, then why did you marry him? As your husband, he should be faithful to you and defend you against others including his mother. He is not on your side. You made a very big mistake marrying this guy. I hope you can get an annulment. People show you their true colors through their actions and you should believe them. Your husband is not going to change. Your mother-in-law is not going to change. They are both manipulative and you stuck with them for reasons that remain incomprehensible to me.

posted April 19, 2018 01:50 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I don't trust this Gemini personally. What moon sign are they?

...

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His moon sign is in Capricorn.

I keep my distance since she treated me like that. I try not revealing much anymore but my husband sometimes is being a Gemini who can't shut his mouth and she is being his Mother, so she gets most information from him.

I have spoken to him about it but quickly he attacks me by insulting my big family. He has Mars in Cancer, while I understand he can also be protective to his big family, but it doesn't mean he should judge my big family negatively who doesn't even hurt/talk bad about him (like his family to me) and threatening me that he will make my family all cries because of me. I get almost the same volatile reaction as my Mother in Law in the past.

Before I get pregnant, I still can tolerate most of what has happened/what he has said, I mean I still can handle it, but during the pregnancy, it feels all TOO MUCH.

I have a chance to observe his parents relationship and how they treats the children at home, and he is a copy-paste. I openly tell him I don't trust him in the relationship and I will not let the same experience affect my child.

posted April 19, 2018 03:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Astra:
...

If there were so many infidelity issues [b]before marrying this guy, then why did you marry him? As your husband, he should be faithful to you and defend you against others including his mother. He is not on your side. You made a very big mistake marrying this guy. I hope you can get an annulment. People show you their true colors through their actions and you should believe them. Your husband is not going to change. Your mother-in-law is not going to change. They are both manipulative and you stuck with them for reasons that remain incomprehensible to me.

For your sake, get an annulment if you can. This is not healthy. Many people have problems with their in laws, but they should be able to count on the emotional support of their spouses. You don't even have this.[/B]

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Yes, I need some an emotional support as I am also pregnant right now, but he is not there to support me emotionally.

My Father told me, he may not know how to be a husband or being a good partner because he grew up in a lack of emotional support family environment and the fact that both of his parents are not affectionate and dealing with their own business having separate financial and separate life although they live at the same roof. Before my Father in Law get sick all of his life now, in the past he was an alcoholic and physically abusive (surprisingly he also has Mars in Cancer) while my Mother in Law is known having a sharp-harsh-tongue (which I can assume that it can turn to be a verbal abuse). My husband once told me that I should not be surprised to see there are two separate worlds in one roof which referring to his parents.

posted April 19, 2018 06:20 AM            

The Cap Moon with Gem Sun is not great IMO. Not an emotional type of person.

I have too many experiences with Cap Moon that are painful. So perhaps I am bias, but I think that that moon sign can be very stoic and indifferent when it chooses to.

And I agree with what most people here have said about Mothers and their sons. I don't have such a relationship with my mother because I intended it so. But many guys do and those mothers think the world of their sons. So few people are "good enough".

Now that you are pregnant, it complicates matters somewhat. Emotionally you may still be very inlove with this man- judging from your actions.

So I don't think you want to leave him as you are more concerned about the mother in law than you are about his infidelity.

When dealing with a mother in law, its best to just go about your business and stay out of her radar. Avoid starting a war as far as possible.

Be pleasant with her. But don't allow her too close to you. Let her see that you are avoiding her(if she does). Don't be pretentious.

With your hubby. You will have to grow some very thick skin and not expect any sympathy from him. If he hasn't shown it before, he will not show it now.

Maybe you need to do some soul searching to understand why you are still hooked on to this relationship that doesn't serve you well?/As it doesn't sound at all like what you had in mind.

My main concern is the baby. So I wouldn't think it wise to do anything that would put you or the baby in harms ways; whether its emotional stress with the inlaws or sour relations with the father that can induce stress

See this pregnancy through by only focusing all your attention on it. Rally the support of your immediate family as their love will help see your through
Maybe after the baby is born you can think of the best way forward.

posted April 20, 2018 02:44 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
@hearttreasure

The Cap Moon with Gem Sun is not great IMO. Not an emotional type of person.

I have too many experiences with Cap Moon that are painful. So perhaps I am bias, but I think that that moon sign can be very stoic and indifferent when it chooses to.

And I agree with what most people here have said about Mothers and their sons. I don't have such a relationship with my mother because I intended it so. But many guys do and those mothers think the world of their sons. So few people are "good enough".

Now that you are pregnant, it complicates matters somewhat. Emotionally you may still be very inlove with this man- judging from your actions.

So I don't think you want to leave him as you are more concerned about the mother in law than you are about his infidelity.

When dealing with a mother in law, its best to just go about your business and stay out of her radar. Avoid starting a war as far as possible.

Be pleasant with her. But don't allow her too close to you. Let her see that you are avoiding her(if she does). Don't be pretentious.

With your hubby. You will have to grow some very thick skin and not expect any sympathy from him. If he hasn't shown it before, he will not show it now.

Maybe you need to do some soul searching to understand why you are still hooked on to this relationship that doesn't serve you well?/As it doesn't sound at all like what you had in mind.

My main concern is the baby. So I wouldn't think it wise to do anything that would put you or the baby in harms ways; whether its emotional stress with the inlaws or sour relations with the father that can induce stress

See this pregnancy through by only focusing all your attention on it. Rally the support of your immediate family as their love will help see your through
Maybe after the baby is born you can think of the best way forward.

---

I want to leave him actually and he knows it. But my parents want me to be patient until the baby is born and at the same time he doesn't want to leave me, he said that I should be the one who leave him while I live and own the place as he is the one who is moving in to my place. It's hard to get rid of him at this moment and the last thing I want during the developing of the baby inside is dealing with his non-sense/stressful situation. I get most emotional support from my parents/family members, I don't expect it from him anymore although I need it.

So now I'm focusing to my Mother in Law because I want to avoid further drama. I see how she wants to know everything through him and sometimes she looks like giving a suggestion but what I see is, like, a mission to control. I have seen she seems ****** off when my husband doesn't follow her suggestion that involves me. I do avoid her at my best as I can not do poker face.

posted April 21, 2018 06:33 AM            

I always feel secured with myself and I think it can intimidate some people and triggering their insecurity. So I try to relate to those people. I don't like make a quick judgment before I observe and analyze first. With my husband, I know he feels unbelievable lucky to have me (the stares, he likes staring me when I'm not looking and sometimes I caught him watching me while sleeping, wait, I feel it's creepy, sometimes I joke if he is planning to murder me just to keep me under the control) but at the same time he always loss the battle with his own insecurity.

To be honest, I am NOT always that strong to stand up for myself. I have moments where I hurt myself more than I hurt other people.