posted April 25, 2018 06:56 PM            

But on the other side of that, Virgo also wants loyalty and stability. Virgo wants an organic relationship, one where she can plant seeds and carefully tend to so it can blossom to something beautiful. Virgo wants love where she can improve with whoever she’s with. Virgo loves someone who pays attention to the things no one else notices about her. It makes her feel loved.

I am writing this down because I have noticed both the good and the bad sides to this placement (from experience).

Venus in Virgo can have very high standards, yes. Most will not get into a relationship with anyone unless the person is perfect in their eyes. In this way, it is similar to its opposite, Venus in Pisces. There is idealization—except, the idealization with Venus in Virgo begins even before the relationship starts. This is what inhibits love, one of the gifts from Venus.

I have noticed the change in my attitude towards dating and relationships as I mature.

Back in the day, I had a long list of attributes I wanted to have in a partner. Anything less is denied entry. This is one reason why I have been single until now. Even when I liked someone, I would notice their flaws and call it off. I’d feel disgusted by it—the thought of a less than perfect partner. It sounds so absurd, but it is what it was.

Since I turned 18, I discarded my list. I wanted to try a different approach of just being open. It took me a while to get there. I went on a bunch of dates, but still couldn’t let go of being disgusted with someone’s flaws. It wasn’t until I met my partner that it completely changed.

I saw him as everything I didn’t want in a partner. He was polyamorous (at the time I met him), he wasn’t the best-looking, he was not that tall, he had no musical talent, he was a churchboy, he liked to lie, he was asian (ngl, I didn’t want to date the same race before), etc. I was good with being friends but I wasn’t gonna date him. Oddly enough, however, I felt strongly attracted to him. I didn’t fight it like I normally would. It went on like that until I eventually fell for him. When I did, his flaws seemed smaller than his overall personality. I started noticing his good traits. Suddenly, he was caring, he was sweet, he was funny, he was smart, he was adventurous, he was ambitious, etc. I realized he was what I have been looking for, had I not focused on his flaws too much.

I then came to the conclusion that Venus in Virgo IS capable of unconditional love. But that type of love can only be achieved if one learns to get past observing others’ flaws.

Knowing someone’s flaws is not necessarily a bad thing. It can be a great tool to use to ground oneself so one does not end up putting the other on a pedestal.

Venus in Virgo just knows what it wants and is willing to work hard to achieve it.

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Gemini Rising
Sun in Leo (2nd house)
Moon in Cancer (1st house)
Mercury in Virgo (3rd house conj.)
Venus in Virgo (3rd house)
Mars in Libra (5th house)

posted April 25, 2018 09:52 PM            

In my experience, virgos in general are willing to work very hard for what they want. When the effort goes unmatched, it can feel like settling or being cheated in some way.

As the wife of a Virgo, I often feel inadequate. Sometimes, I feel like my husband has expectations he has no right to have. He has Venus in Scorpio (also not a traditionally good placement).

The point I especially appreciate is the one you made about flaws being grounding. Pisces idealizes. Virgo criticizes. It’s a polarity that when balanced, can be so constructive.

It helps to get to know yourself better and refine your measuring system (sounds like you already are!). In my husband’s case, he has all these generic markers to define femininity, the role of a wife, what a parent should be like, and it is unrealistic and unhelpful. He basically wants a stepford wife who thinks he is Adonis. If I were a Greek goddess, i’d be Athena (which, now that I’m thinking about it, is appropriate. Athena was the goddess of wisdom and war. My husband has an Aries moon. I guess men do marry their moon). I’m not your doting daffodil nor some geisha here for your entertainment. (Lol! This is totally what my husband wants: stepford wife/geisha) 🙄

What I’m trying to say is much like your high school list of musts, he has all of these ill defined notions of what the things he truly values looks like in reality. His superficial criteria creates a mismatch between what he thinks he wants and what he actually wants. Venus in Pisces may be unrealistically idealistic while Venus in Virgo can be unrealistically critical.

It’s a pretty common problem actually!

posted April 26, 2018 03:28 AM            

My experience having venus in Pisces, I don't understand why some think venus in Pisces has an unrealistic idealistic and/or demand perfection? What are the experience?

I, personally, know now why venus in Pisces is called exalted and also how secretly REALISTIC they are in love/relationship but they choose to be ACCEPTING until you get the heart attack why they cheat (at worst) or they slowly emotionally detach that make you think they are in other world or being passive while actually they know the reality but also know the art of love AND most of the time they are afraid to hurt you with some hit in your face with the truth.

They can see your deeper side more than other people and they are capable to understand it without focusing to your darker soul (trust me, they also aware of it, but choose to see the lighter soul of yours FIRST). They are very much afraid to hurt you with what they see/know in the reality or what they see through you (they hide a lot about those feelings), including things that hurt them deeply by your actions.

posted April 26, 2018 04:53 AM            

I don't have venus in virgo. But I have Asc in Virgo. And its so sick how this energy works for me atleast. That Virgo Asc energy is all over my chart, all over my planets!

When I read about Venus in Virgo, Or Mars in Virgo or Moon in Virgo, its all me! To the Tee! Its horrible how the virgo energy is all over my planets and chart

To make matters worse, my poor poor Venus is also, Square Neptune, my 7th ruler.

I mean, I feel and act all the above in the fisrt post, ALSO I'm super delisional and really really wanna see the best in my love interests. I will see things in them they don't have.

Good things. And when the bubble bursts (it always does), I feel so cheated! "I thought he was so caring and selfless and so intune with my feelings, and it turns out, he is a cold and distant person!

Can it be worse? Yes it can! Because also my venus is in aspect with Saturn and Pluto, and in 8th house!

Just think about it: Super critical, sees flaws and will wanna be realistic. Then Neptune is there to make me trip and fall into a fluffy rosy cloud. Untill I fall off that cloud and crash into the ground. Then Pluto is there, to make me NOT WANNA LET GO, and want me to hold on and obsesse.

And there is Saturn trine my Venus. I wanna build solid buildings with my friends and love interest. If you are gonna not put in any effeort, or just use crappy material for our buildning, then F off! Says Saturn.
But, Pluto rules...

Still I would not wanna change my Venus-Neptune aspect... it makes me selfless and so empathic, even if it hurts.

Sorry for my rant.

posted April 26, 2018 07:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hearttreasure:
In my Virgo venus brother's eyes, I can be TOO ACCEPTING of people that I should be more critical of the flaws of those people. But I know deeper than that.

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I find that is the case with my friends that have Venus in Pisces, too. They get hurt in relationships a lot because a lot of them tend to idealize their partners. They forget they are human and are capable of mistakes.

Venus in Pisces is not really a bad placement either. It’s just that there is a tendency to forget about reality. Many of my Venus in Pisces friends get so “high” off of the honeymoon phase that they start making rash decisions. In the end, they’re usually the ones that get hurt. It breaks me to see that. It’s like a sober person looking at someone who is getting high off of drugs. Sometimes, you see things they don’t think they are doing.

Venus in Pisces is exalted because she has the ability to love without judgment. They don’t think too much when they love. It’s like diving in the ocean and seeing the beauty of the coral reefs and marine life that are in there. They get carried away. Unconditional love is easy for these people.

This is what Venus in Virgo needs to learn from their opposite—to love without thinking too much. At the same time, Venus in Pisces can learn to be more grounded and realistic while still maintaining their innocent aura of romance.

I find that having Venus in Pisces alone is not enough to make someone overly delusional (obviously). The ones that I met that are, usually have other planets in Pisces or aspects from Neptune.

I don’t like Neptune. It is my least favorite planet.

I struggle relating to water venus most of the time. Not so much with Venus in Scorpio (I have Venus square Pluto loosely), but a lot with Venus in Pisces and Venus in Cancer.

With Venus in Pisces, you know why. When they get into relationships, it makes me cringe (no offense, just telling the truth). Everything is too romantic. Often, they can have unrealistic expectations on their partners as well. I know this one girl, she loves Disney. That’s cool because I love Disney too. But the problem lies in the fact that she wants her boyfriends to treat her like a princess every single time. When they don’t fit the shoe, she tries to change them to be that way. This could be an effect of something else in her chart too. She also has Moon in Pisces and aspect from Neptune to her other planets.

With Venus in Cancer, they are kinda similar to Venus in Pisces. I often find them thinking about getting married and having children with their partners already in the beginning of the relationship. They fail to check if their partners are capable of being a good husband/wife or a good father/mother to their future children. A lot of the times, they’re just high on love too. My mom has Venus in Cancer. She jumped into marriage all because she was so in love. My parents were only dating for almost a year when they conceived me and decided to get married a year before they planned to. My dad turned out to be a terrible and abusive husband.

I can relate more with Venus in Scorpio. But at the same time, I also think their all-or-nothing approach to relationships is unrealistic. Many expect their partners to be raw and open with them right away even at the beginning of their relationships. An old friend of mine is akin to Hades. He was actually dating my Venus in Pisces friend. He wanted complete submission from her. He expected her to tell him everything, including where she was going, who she was with, what she was doing, etc. They can be highly invasive of privacy. It got so bad to the point he even installed an app where he can monitor her phone activity from far away. She didn’t know. They broke up and he bad-mouthed her to everyone of our friends.

These are just my observations of the negative traits of water venuses. Mind you, the ones that I mentioned where the ones that are not mature or self-aware at the time those events happened. There’s always room for improvement. I have yet to meet a person with water venus that have matured in relationships. I haven’t met other earth venus either that is on the same level as me. Maybe I’m just attracting the wrong people?

The only people I met that have conquered their Venus’s negative side is Venus in Gemini. I have an abundance of them in my life though, so it is easier to observe them like in a scientific experiment.

I learned to flow a little bit more like water while still keeping myself anchored. Having only one planet (Moon in Cancer) in water helps me a lot. I want a relationship that is healthy, which means it needs to have both romance and realism in it. I have learned to be a little more romantic too, thanks to my Venus in Pisces friends. I’m still sober most of the time, but a little love drug every once in a while doesn’t hurt. It’s like real drugs. Just enough is okay. Too much is self-destructive.

In general, I think the person has to be self-aware of both their strengths and weaknesses to overcome the negative side of their placements. That’s where I started and I am still learning.

posted April 26, 2018 08:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ReachingForTheStars:
Venus in Pisces may be unrealistically idealistic while Venus in Virgo can be unrealistically critical.

It’s a pretty common problem actually!

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I like that you put it that way. Very distinctive, yet also quite similar 👍🏻

quote:

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You’re so mature for your age. I’m always so impressed by your posts.

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Thank you. I get that a lot, even in real life

The goal of Venus in Virgo is improvement through their relationships. It only makes sense I am doing what it is supposed to be doing.

posted April 26, 2018 09:07 AM            

First, a disclaimer: I believe anything in a chart can be overcome or transcended. You are not a slave of your chart!

From my observation and experience.

yes, Venus in Virgo is overly critical and fault finding, a trait that at first, will keep the native single for a long time. Then as the native realizes life, romance and sex are passing her by, she typically flips to the opposite. She throws caution to the wind and starts dating people that are way, way, WAY below her standards, people that she/he needs to fix in some way.

Those two extremes are found in Venus in Virgo, in both men and women.

Sex Work: Virgo is ruled by Mercury. Trade, commerce and sales are under the dominion of mercury. Work is paramount to Virgo. Any discussion of Venus in Virgo would be amiss if we did not talk about the sex work aspect. It should not be a stretch to understand that more than any other signs, except perhaps Venus in Capp, Venus in Virgo can feel drawn to do sex work and do it in a detached and efficient manner, not usually requiring to get drunk or high to perform. But this usually happens after the native has become disillusioned with love and no longer expects much from it, the practical side of Virgo comes out and she figures out she might as well get paid to do this and it becomes work.

Examples of sex worker with Venus in Virgo:
* Deanne Salinger known as Air Force Amy (born August 5, 1965) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_Force_Amy

* Suzy Favor Hamilton, former olympic runner who became a prostitute. her Venus seems to be on the cusp of Leo and Virgo. I am inclined to think it is in Virgo.

* Brooke Magnanti (born 5 November 1975)[1] is an American-born naturalised British[2] former research scientist, blogger, and writer, who, until her identity was revealed in November 2009, was known by the pen name Belle de Jour.[3] While completing her doctoral studies, between 2003 and 2004, Magnanti supplemented her income by working as a London call girl known by the working name Taro.[4]

* Annie Sprinkle, Born Ellen F. Steinberg
July 23, 1954
Website anniesprinkle.org sexecology.org earthlab.ucsc.edu
American sex educator, former sex worker,[1][2] feminist stripper, pornographic actress, cable television host, porn magazine editor, writer, sex film producer, and sex-positive feminist.

posted April 26, 2018 09:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:
...fault finding, a trait that at first, will keep the native single for a long time. Then as the native realizes life, romance and sex are passing her by, she typically flips to the opposite. She throws caution to the wind and starts dating people that are way, way, WAY below her standards, people that she/he needs to fix in some way.

Those two extremes are found in Venus in Virgo, in both men and women.

Sex Work: Virgo is ruled by Mercury. Trade, commerce and sales are under the dominion of mercury. Work is paramount to Virgo. Any discussion of Venus in Virgo would be amiss if we did not talk about the sex work aspect. It should not be a stretch to understand that more than any other signs, except perhaps Venus in Capp, Venus in Virgo can feel drawn to do sex work and do it in a detached and efficient manner, not usually requiring to get drunk or high to perform. But this usually happens after the native has become disillusioned with love and no longer expects much from it, the practical side of Virgo comes out and she figures out she might as well get paid to do this and it becomes workers.

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I HAVE settled for less than what I deserved in the past. It was a time when I had Venus in Virgo in the 12th house of my Solar Return. There was a lot of dreamy romance and idealization (Pisces negative) coming from me. I did not ses the person for who they were. I became the “other girl”, all because I thought they were so perfect for me (Virgo negative). I learned something from that experience. I found out what I want and I found a way to keep myself in check when it comes to relationships.

Personally, having a 2nd house Sun, and Moon in the 1st house (ruler of my 2nd house), I don’t think I will resort to the easy way out as much as those you mentioned.

The only way I think I ever will get into that business is if there’s not else I can do but that. It’s a last resort. I’d I say this because I don’t wanna be a hypocrite. Sex work is difficult, psychologically and physically. The main mindset I have is that I would rather do everything in my power not to lose. But even if I did, at least, I know I tried.

Venus in Virgo can make someone very detached when it comes to sex, yes. But that’s also an advantage in this day and age. I am not surprised if there’s a lot of people with this placement in the sex industry. Like I said, Virgo is willing to work hard for what it wants.

I have respect for people who get into these fields of work but still remain a humble down-to-earth attitude. Not so much for the flashy ones. A lot of people will judge you for the work that you do, but never for the reason you are doing that work.

I used to condemn people who do it, but as I grew older and met people in my life that have done it, I realize they are just as human as you and I.

There is no point trying to demonize people who are in the sex industry. At the end of the day, it is what sells. It is an easy solution to financial problems. A single mom can easily feed her children and provide them with a better life if she chooses to do it.

And from what you are saying to me, it is just another negative expression of this placement.

posted April 26, 2018 09:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Are you sure that that wasn't your Mars in 5th?

Is your Asc trine the 5th house cusp or Mars?

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Yes, Aries. My Mars and 5th house cusp are both trine my ascendant.