posted October 18, 2018 02:56 PM            

The past several months have been hard for me. I'm only putting it lightly. It's been basically turmoil after turmoil; snowballing as time goes on. I've been feuding with Pisces youngest sister and it's been brutal. It really all began when I didn't show up to see her off when she moved to Chicago with her husband. For that, I regret and carry a lot of remorse over. The past few holidays and family birthdays have been utterly awkward and hard to get through because the tension is so thick between us. I've kept my distance to avoid confrontation, but tried to text her a "let's talk" text and apparently, I'm a piece of **** and playing the victim. On top of it, I got into it with my mama over it, so either way, my goose is cooked. I feel like stranger to my family. No one calls anymore and the thrill is basically gone. I'm not sure if things will go back to normal.

My job is just as terrible. Been at a new site for about 3 months now and already there is strife between me and the facilities manager. He's anal in very sense of the word with no sense of professionalism nor respect for his employees. Odds are, i'm going to resign really soon because I'm over the BS and it seems like a bad sign that already I'm dealing with drama this early on.

Final thing is my past has come back to jolt me right back into the ether world of nothingness. My ex and I chatted briefly on LinkedIN of all social medias and I found out hes a father, after being with him for all of 20s and realizing apparently I was not good enough to have a baby with. and other exes coming back to dangle the carrot of BS in hopes of a hookup or a time-waster conversations.

Yes, I'm feeling bitchy and cynical right now, fragile, testy, and vulnerable. It's a terrible place to be and live in. I feel like I'm treading in the darkest of tunnels trying desperately to light the soggy match that will eventually help me find my way out again.

If anyone is willing to look at my transits or progressions and see whats going on, or grant insights, that would be so wonderful. I cannot post a chart here because I'm posting from a work computer and I have no laptop at home. so basically, I just have my iPhone. Not sure how that will work. So, I'll post my birth info and if that's not enough, I understand.

Thanks for reading,

Bella <3

4/21/1980
Minneapolis, MN (born and currently residing)
2:26am

posted October 18, 2018 03:57 PM            

Part of what you are experiencing is Pluto's transit opposite your natal Moon (began this past year). That will continue for a few more years. That of course deals in intensifying emotional issues so that eventually you can see where the baggage or harmful patterns are.

That's in addition to the transit of Uranus conjunct your natal Sun, which I believe you already know about. That transit tends to stimulate higher energies (including ego energies) that reach further and want to be freer and more expressive without regard to conventions and the usual boundaries or expectations. It is okay to be honest if you don't exactly feel like living up to the expectations of others, family, friends, etc, during this transit. It is partly about shaking off the stagnancy those things can bring.

But the Pluto transit opposite your Moon brings up the relational dynamic, particularly with family or loved ones with whom we have issues. And if we see it affects a wide variety of relations then we know the issue is largely with ourselves, our own moods, reactions, etc. This transit can involve a tug of war in which expressions of feelings can become more about power or using them to manipulate. If that is within us, then our words will give it away, as will our actions.

It is perfectly fine to want to break away from that dynamic and take inventory emotionally of where you are; to not respond when you know you're still smarting from the last bad interaction. You can't take away other people's feelings, or even get to apologize or ask forgiveness necessarily when you would like to -- but you can reorient yourself to let go of emotional power games in favor of emotional honesty with yourself.

Pluto-Moon aspects (and transits) are about letting go of the things that are the hardest to let go of, because we feel them most intensely.

You're having Uranus transit trine natal Jupiter too. This is a time for some adventure, to bring new things into your life and freshen up your interests, add something exciting, delve deeper into things that give you optimism and a feeling of transcendence or new possibilities. Don't let family issues and feelings steal that. Especially with Jupiter's transit contra-parallel natal Moon and rapidly approaching exact square to your Mars -- break out and get physical and active again. Climb a hill or a mountain or go for a road trip and feel some wheeeee! Otherwise, what happens is any other transit that taps into Mars, Moon, or Pluto energies can heap on more aggression or resentment, escalating negatives.

In case I did not mention it before, Pluto's transit is also parallel natal Neptune, so its higher purpose now is to transform your perspective, worldview and beliefs. That will happen more easily when you emphasize the adventure, the new things, and let the family/emotional stuff simmer down on the back burner.

------------------
"Drift like a cloud and flow like water, seeing that all life is a magnificent illusion, a playing of energy, and there is absolutely nothing fundamentally to be afraid of." -- Alan Watts

posted October 18, 2018 04:17 PM            

Also possible is that there is increased sensitivity right now. Which means being easily offended and exaggerating the offenses others exact on you.

Atleast that is what I found with this Pluto transit opposite my Moon i.e there are few people to be all out emotional with. And painful stuff surfaces very quickly due to triggers.

I read self help books now. Watch uplifting docs, listen to opera/classical music. And it helps with emotional expression.

posted October 18, 2018 06:03 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
Thank you for not being afraid to include your birth data. It really makes responding with astrological points possible.

Part of what you are experiencing is Pluto's transit opposite your natal Moon (began this past year). That will continue for a few more years. That of course deals in intensifying emotional issues so that eventually you can see where the baggage or harmful patterns are.

That's in addition to the transit of Uranus conjunct your natal Sun, which I believe you already know about. That transit tends to stimulate higher energies (including ego energies) that reach further and want to be freer and more expressive without regard to conventions and the usual boundaries or expectations. It is okay to be honest if you don't exactly feel like living up to the expectations of others, family, friends, etc, during this transit. It is partly about shaking off the stagnancy those things can bring.

But the Pluto transit opposite your Moon brings up the relational dynamic, particularly with family or loved ones with whom we have issues. And if we see it affects a wide variety of relations then we know the issue is largely with ourselves, our own moods, reactions, etc. This transit can involve a tug of war in which expressions of feelings can become more about power or using them to manipulate. If that is within us, then our words will give it away, as will our actions.

It is perfectly fine to want to break away from that dynamic and take inventory emotionally of where you are; to not respond when you know you're still smarting from the last bad interaction. You can't take away other people's feelings, or even get to apologize or ask forgiveness necessarily when you would like to -- but you can reorient yourself to let go of emotional power games in favor of emotional honesty with yourself.

Pluto-Moon aspects (and transits) are about letting go of the things that are the hardest to let go of, because we feel them most intensely.

You're having Uranus transit trine natal Jupiter too. This is a time for some adventure, to bring new things into your life and freshen up your interests, add something exciting, delve deeper into things that give you optimism and a feeling of transcendence or new possibilities. Don't let family issues and feelings steal that. Especially with Jupiter's transit contra-parallel natal Moon and rapidly approaching exact square to your Mars -- break out and get physical and active again. Climb a hill or a mountain or go for a road trip and feel some wheeeee! Otherwise, what happens is any other transit that taps into Mars, Moon, or Pluto energies can heap on more aggression or resentment, escalating negatives.

In case I did not mention it before, Pluto's transit is also parallel natal Neptune, so its higher purpose now is to transform your perspective, worldview and beliefs. That will happen more easily when you emphasize the adventure, the new things, and let the family/emotional stuff simmer down on the back burner.

---

Omg. THIS makes SO MUCH sense! I’m feeling the Uranus transit the most, it’s crazy. I feel like I’m going through some kind of a rebellion. Like I want to break away from everything I’m familiar with and start anew.
Pluto is making so much trouble. But I hoping it’s breaking down what can hopefully someday be rebuilt. Uranus is now in my 2nd house...do you think something will change one he goes into my 3rd?

And....THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! For my reading! It’ shed so much light on my situation ❤️

posted October 18, 2018 06:09 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Agree with Kannon.

Also possible is that there is increased sensitivity right now. Which means being easily offended and exaggerating the offenses others exact on you.

Atleast that is what I found with this Pluto transit opposite my Moon i.e there are few people to be all out emotional with. And painful stuff surfaces very quickly due to triggers.

I read self help books now. Watch uplifting docs, listen to opera/classical music. And it helps with emotional expression.

It will pass. But for now,be okay to cry.

---

THANK YOU ❤️ I’ve been trying to keep my head up and forgiving myself for what’s happening. I love my family and I miss them terribly. I wish this never happened. I listen to music and soak in the tub with drops of peppermint oil to calm me. I need to get to reading self help books and journaling, it’ll probably do me a world of good. I need to cry...haven’t had a good cry in a long time.

posted October 23, 2018 09:50 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
I hope you feel better.

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posted October 29, 2018 06:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by bella_taurus:
Okay..I will try to keep this as simple and streamlined as I can. I'm not sure if I should post this in personal readings or in this forum. So, if it's mis-posted, please do not give me heck for it. Sorry.

The past several months have been hard for me. I'm only putting it lightly. It's been basically turmoil after turmoil; snowballing as time goes on. I've been feuding with Pisces youngest sister and it's been brutal. It really all began when I didn't show up to see her off when she moved to Chicago with her husband. For that, I regret and carry a lot of remorse over. The past few holidays and family birthdays have been utterly awkward and hard to get through because the tension is so thick between us. I've kept my distance to avoid confrontation, but tried to text her a "let's talk" text and apparently, I'm a piece of **** and playing the victim. On top of it, I got into it with my mama over it, so either way, my goose is cooked. I feel like stranger to my family. No one calls anymore and the thrill is basically gone. I'm not sure if things will go back to normal.

My job is just as terrible. Been at a new site for about 3 months now and already there is strife between me and the facilities manager. He's anal in very sense of the word with no sense of professionalism nor respect for his employees. Odds are, i'm going to resign really soon because I'm over the BS and it seems like a bad sign that already I'm dealing with drama this early on.

Final thing is my past has come back to jolt me right back into the ether world of nothingness. My ex and I chatted briefly on LinkedIN of all social medias and I found out hes a father, after being with him for all of 20s and realizing apparently I was not good enough to have a baby with. and other exes coming back to dangle the carrot of BS in hopes of a hookup or a time-waster conversations.

Yes, I'm feeling bitchy and cynical right now, fragile, testy, and vulnerable. It's a terrible place to be and live in. I feel like I'm treading in the darkest of tunnels trying desperately to light the soggy match that will eventually help me find my way out again.

If anyone is willing to look at my transits or progressions and see whats going on, or grant insights, that would be so wonderful. I cannot post a chart here because I'm posting from a work computer and I have no laptop at home. so basically, I just have my iPhone. Not sure how that will work. So, I'll post my birth info and if that's not enough, I understand.

Thanks for reading,

Bella <3

4/21/1980
Minneapolis, MN (born and currently residing)
2:26am

---

Bella_taurus, I'm sorry. Life really loves throwing curveballs at us, doesn't it?

Kannon has already brilliantly laid out the transits that are affecting you, so I will focus on giving some non-astrological advice.

1) Take a step back from your family. It doesn't sound like they are ready to hear an apology from you. Let them calm down. I am a little confused as to why your sister is upset that you didn't see her off? I moved across the country and merely received text messages from my family that they wish me well. That's it. Your sister only moved to Chicago, not across the world, so I'm not sure why the move warranted an epic goodbye.

2) Start looking for a new job. Do not quit until you have a new job and make sure you say nothing about your job search at work. Do your job hunting outside of work and give only your personal email to prospective employers. Your current job sounds toxic. You need to get out of there fast or it will take a toll on you. I guarantee you that when you leave this job, you will feel 10x better.

3) Don't worry about your Ex. Forget him. It's a very common scenario. A woman may date a man for 5+ years and he refuses to propose marriage. Eventually, the woman becomes tired of the lack of commitment and dumps the guy. The guy starts to date another woman maybe a month or so after the breakup and he ends up proposing to the woman after only 3 months of dating. The ex girlfriend can't figure out why he didn't commit to her.

Newsflash: there was nothing wrong with you. He didn't want to have a baby with you because you weren't the right woman for him. You can have two perfectly wonderful people who date each other and they find out they are completely wrong for each other. Breakups don't always occur because of cheating, laziness or other personality defects. It can simply be that your gut instinct or your partner's gut instinct is saying that this is not the right relationship. Don't beat yourself up over it. Your ex has moved on and you should, too. Don't get back together with any past exes (they are exes for a reason). Stop communicating with your exes altogether.

4) Besides job hunting, go find something fun to do. Go to the movies. Go for a hike. Take an exercise class. Take a fun class like photography or painting at your local community college. Learn a new language. Basically, find something that interests you and is relaxing. You are under too much stress so it's important to find a release.

posted October 29, 2018 09:00 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Astra:
Bella_taurus, I'm sorry. Life really loves throwing curveballs at us, doesn't it?

Kannon has already brilliantly laid out the transits that are affecting you, so I will focus on giving some non-astrological advice.

1) Take a step back from your family. It doesn't sound like they are ready to hear an apology from you. Let them calm down. I am a little confused as to why your sister is upset that you didn't see her off? I moved across the country and merely received text messages from my family that they wish me well. That's it. Your sister only moved to Chicago, not across the world, so I'm not sure why the move warranted an epic goodbye.

2) Start looking for a new job. Do not quit until you have a new job and make sure you say nothing about your job search at work. Do your job hunting outside of work and give only your personal email to prospective employers. Your current job sounds toxic. You need to get out of there fast or it will take a toll on you. I guarantee you that when you leave this job, you will feel 10x better.

3) Don't worry about your Ex. Forget him. It's a very common scenario. A woman may date a man for 5+ years and he refuses to propose marriage. Eventually, the woman becomes tired of the lack of commitment and dumps the guy. The guy starts to date another woman maybe a month or so after the breakup and he ends up proposing to the woman after only 3 months of dating. The ex girlfriend can't figure out why he didn't commit to her.

Newsflash: there was nothing wrong with you. He didn't want to have a baby with you because you weren't the right woman for him. You can have two perfectly wonderful people who date each other and they find out they are completely wrong for each other. Breakups don't always occur because of cheating, laziness or other personality defects. It can simply be that your gut instinct or your partner's gut instinct is saying that this is not the right relationship. Don't beat yourself up over it. Your ex has moved on and you should, too. Don't get back together with any past exes (they are exes for a reason). Stop communicating with your exes altogether.

4) Besides job hunting, go find something fun to do. Go to the movies. Go for a hike. Take an exercise class. Take a fun class like photography or painting at your local community college. Learn a new language. Basically, find something that interests you and is relaxing. You are under too much stress so it's important to find a release.

Good luck. I wish you tons of luck and a lot of happiness. Stay strong. You got this!

---

I keep reading this over and over. I don’t know you, but what you typed nearly brought me to tears. I’m moved at the kindness of a stranger as yourself. I’m going to read this everyday until I feel healed and ready to move forward. Thank you thank you thank you thank you for making me feel all will be good again. ❤️ I really appreciate this, more than you know.

posted October 29, 2018 09:12 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by bella_taurus:
I keep reading this over and over. I don’t know you, but what you typed nearly brought me to tears. I’m moved at the kindness of a stranger as yourself. I’m going to read this everyday until I feel healed and ready to move forward. Thank you thank you thank you thank you for making me feel all will be good again. ❤️ I really appreciate this, more than you know.

---

posted November 04, 2018 11:58 AM            

This year has been horrendous. Nephew born prematurely, my boss trying to annihilate me at work in frankly shocking manipulation and sabotage routine (and not a lot of other alternatives out there), and finally my dad being diagnosed with cancer in June - and passing when the moon was full last week.

There have been unexpected high points among the chaos - a last minute adventure holiday with strangers in May was phenomenal, we're now arranging a ski trip for next year.

But by and large, it's like being in a maelstrom. To this point, my focus has been purely on survival - literally doing the bare minimum to stay alive and keep my son alive at some points.

I can feel it suddenly shifting though, and now I want to find a purpose, work towards a life that brings us joy and get back up Maslow's hierarchy. There's more change to come - Jupiter transits over my natal MC in Sagittarius soon so I'm expecting the work stuff to resolve somehow around then.

And then I'll be braced for the final Uranus hit on our solar returns next year. Just keep swimming.

posted November 04, 2018 02:30 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stellia:
Hey Bella. The guys above are ace but wanted to say I know how you feel. I was born within 24 hours of you (22nd, similar birth time but different side of the planet).

This year has been horrendous. Nephew born prematurely, my boss trying to annihilate me at work in frankly shocking manipulation and sabotage routine (and not a lot of other alternatives out there), and finally my dad being diagnosed with cancer in June - and passing when the moon was full last week.

There have been unexpected high points among the chaos - a last minute adventure holiday with strangers in May was phenomenal, we're now arranging a ski trip for next year.

But by and large, it's like being in a maelstrom. To this point, my focus has been purely on survival - literally doing the bare minimum to stay alive and keep my son alive at some points.

I can feel it suddenly shifting though, and now I want to find a purpose, work towards a life that brings us joy and get back up Maslow's hierarchy. There's more change to come - Jupiter transits over my natal MC in Sagittarius soon so I'm expecting the work stuff to resolve somehow around then.

And then I'll be braced for the final Uranus hit on our solar returns next year. Just keep swimming.

Hope your troubles ease soon.

---

Hello Stellia,

Thank you so much for your sweet reply. Like the other heart felt replies, I will read this whenever I feel down or lost about my current situation. I am still going through it. But I plan on having a sit down with my mother and telling her I plan on spending the holidays solo this year. I’m content with my choice and I hope it dispel some of the tension.

You were born close to my birthday which is interesting. My solar return placements were not very good at all. Except for my Uranus transits. I’m tempted to travel for my birthday this year to avoid the bad ones.