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Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake

Posts: 3074
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014

posted October 22, 2018 01:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solar_Leo_Queen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is a very powerful and scary time for me because my natal MC is in Pisces. My MC ruler is tugging my heart in all sorts of directions. I balled my eyes out today in the shower because I realized I want to be an artist.

I have been experimenting with oil pastels in the past few weeks. I've been losing sleep over it. My head is full of vivid pictures of colours flying in every direction and I can't stop. I did four paintings yesterday. I was lost in my own world and I realized, I love the feeling of that.

But..

..I am also a very practical person.

I know it will be more challenging to earn income if I pursue this direction. I also already have spent thousands of dollars in student loans to go to school. I have debt and I cannot risk accumulating any more.

I am currently in the beauty industry and I know in my heart it is not for me. I love making people feel good, but at the same time, it is not what truly makes me happy.

Living in the western world makes and seeing that the material world is more important to most people here makes me feel very sad. I love money and the things it can do for me, but I would not trade my own happiness, my health, or the people I love for it. But I am also not rich and have to live somehow.

I don't know if I will ever snap out of this phase, when Neptune leaves my 10th house. I've always said before, I am quite uncomfortable with Neptunian energy. But maybe that's because it is the part of me that I've been taught to reject.

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Aries23Degrees
Knowflake

Posts: 6298
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012

posted October 22, 2018 02:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So well said. So well said

I reached that point this year with Saturn on my Sun i.e deciding which is more important etc.

I thought of what would happen if I got a stroke or health complications whilst at that job. How my legacy would be : "Death by job that he didn't like"????

Then I dreamt of 1000 Mondays that I will probably still need to get through should I continue on.... And that was IT!!!

There are no easy answers for this. Doing what you love vs. Doing what you have to. Getting older(Sat on Sun) makes things so FINAL!!

But perhaps you can transition from one to the other incrementally? You start painting and selling in your spare time(on weekends) then grow from there?

You would be fortunate if your daily job environment is not hostile(like mine was). If that is the case,you won't be pushed to the brink where you jump off a cliff (in the figurative sense).

Otherwise,try doing the transition slowly.

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