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Author Topic:   Making Friends
Brenda_S
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posted January 07, 2019 09:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brenda_S     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Not sure what to think of it... And I know it can be different for everyone, it's kinda like asking how you find a partner. There's no real answer.

Oddly I have a real easy time with guy friends, but I never felt that I quite connected with any females. Got to a point where I just feel like ditching all the guys in my life and have females only. Like yeah it's not necessarily about the numbers or 'having them', but rather about having those select few if you know what I mean. Those you want.

Honestly I'm not even sure what my question is here. But I really have a hard time connecting with most females. It feels super forced for the most part and just complicated to relate to. Anything that can contribute to this? And is there a way around it?

Here's my chart in case it helps:

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Soulsjourney
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posted January 07, 2019 10:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Soulsjourney     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have a similar problem. I find traditional feminine women either really likes me or really hates me. Generally, I find that I can hang out with Tomboys better.

I have Gemini rising, and Sagittarius moon and Libra Sun. With very little water in the rest of my chart. I'm mostly Libra and Sagittarius.

I find that I communicate very directly, and kind of use none "emotional" language etc. I tend to want to talk about the "big picture" things. And alot of more girly-women doesn't like that. Basically, I talk like a man and the topics I like, does not evolve around traditional women stuff.

I think in your case, you have Mars conjunct Chiron, and Mars square Mercury. And also Gemini rising. Maybe look into how you come across.

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Brenda_S
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posted January 07, 2019 10:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brenda_S     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Soulsjourney:
I have a similar problem. I find traditional feminine women either really likes me or really hates me. Generally, I find that I can hang out with Tomboys better.

I have Gemini rising, and Sagittarius moon and Libra Sun. With very little water in the rest of my chart. I'm mostly Libra and Sagittarius.

I find that I communicate very directly, and kind of use none "emotional" language etc. I tend to want to talk about the "big picture" things. And alot of more girly-women doesn't like that. Basically, I talk like a man and the topics I like, does not evolve around traditional women stuff.

I think in your case, you have Mars conjunct Chiron, and Mars square Mercury. And also Gemini rising. Maybe look into how you come across.


The tomboy part is true for me too. I mean makes sense given that guys are rather the types I connect with...

I think the Mars square Mercury makes me come across as rather blunt sometimes... And that's probably also why I'm super uncomfortable in the feminine types' presence, given that I have to 'watch my mouth' sorta in order for them to not get offended or something. Like I can't be myself. I guess.

But still, I thought with the Gemini moon and rising I should be able to easily communicate. I find that to be very much not the case when it comes to certain people. Like I don't chatter for the sake of chattering. (But boy when I do feel like chattering lol.)

Sometimes I'm not sure what type of tomboys are my style either. Like are they the business-y types or the super physical hands on types or just the blunt ones. In whichever case, the problem I think is that it's not that I come across as masculine where I only attract those. I do rather come across as feminine'ish up until you get to know me. Hence the reason I'm mostly involved with feminine gals which I can't help but not wanna be involved with. Like I want females in my life, just the tougher/rougher ones I guess?

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Soulsjourney
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posted January 08, 2019 01:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Soulsjourney     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Maybe your Sun Taurus (ruled by venus) attracts more girly type of girls, but your emotional need is someone who likes to communicate.

I guess my only advice is be the person you want to attract.

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Aries23Degrees
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posted January 08, 2019 05:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Your Mars squares Mercury. people with this aspect often have a gruff/spicy tongues. It could be too much for people with sensitive ears or are easily hurt.

Add to that your Mercury is in the 11th house(friendships). You like to spar and voice your opinions(Mars square).

Add to that the Jupiter/Saturn opposition widely square Mercury, your opinions could be both absolute(Jupiter) and cynical/"cold"(Saturn). So some may find it hard to swallow.

I often think that Mars, Saturn and Uranus in hard aspect to friendship planets Venus /Mercury/Moon tend to decrease friendships or limit them. This especially when they also affect 11th,7th and 3rd house.

I think women with aspects to mars/Saturn could be right up your alley, As they may not be as easily "offended".

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Brenda_S
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posted January 08, 2019 06:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brenda_S     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Your Mars squares Mercury. people with this aspect often have a gruff/spicy tongues. It could be too much for people with sensitive ears or are easily hurt.

Add to that your Mercury is in the 11th house(friendships). You like to spar and voice your opinions(Mars square).

Add to that the Jupiter/Saturn opposition widely square Mercury, your opinions could be both absolute(Jupiter) and cynical/"cold"(Saturn). So some may find it hard to swallow.

I often think that Mars, Saturn and Uranus in hard aspect to friendship planets Venus /Mercury/Moon tend to decrease friendships or limit them. This especially when they also affect 11th,7th and 3rd house.

I think women with aspects to mars/Saturn could be right up your alley, As they may not be as easily "offended".


Thanks! That really helps. (I guess it wouldn't help my Venus Saturn inconjunct, and Venus opposing Uranus too)

Never really bothered checking any other charts besides this one gal... Which I did like her style. Aries Sun Capricorn Moon. I guess that makes sense.

I'm curious, separate question... this guy I like has Venus only to his Mercury (Aquarius). Can't help but think it would make him dislike this bickering aspect? And would his Venus in Aries (ruling his first, sitting in his seventh) change that? (His Venus also squares Moon, Uranus and Neptune and semi-sextile Saturn pretty exact)

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Aries23Degrees
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From: South Africa
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posted January 08, 2019 07:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't think anyone should "change" who they are so that the other person likes. In time, we all "default" to whom we really are anyways.

Venus-Mercury is "music"(Venus) to my ears(Mercury). But its ruler(Saturn/Uranus) doesn't necessarily mean that the person considered is only interested in hearing sweet nothings whispered into their ear.

I think here they may pay more attention to insight, ability to use the right words and sentence construction etc. That is what is key.

To Aqua, you have to make sense(Saturn rules them). And if you do it in a way that is not parroting other people , then that is best.

Venus/Moon square could make someone acutely (square) sensitive(Moon) to aesthetics(Venus). I find this combo as the eternal search for an ideal. "Ugliness" or "disharmony" with their outlook could literally make them sick.

There is likely to be quick/forthcoming comments or criticism when it comes to voicing out things that are not to their taste or not like-able. This especially when warring Mars rules Venus in Aries. They may complain a lot.

To put it bluntly; there is a resistance or discomfort with being surrounded or coming into contact with "ugly".

I lived with a guy who had Moon Aries-Venus in Libra opposite.And he was quick to call people "ugly" and was very vocal of his partners when they gained weight or didn't dress up properly etc.

He had fluctuating weight issues due to tendencies to go to extremes in diet. but don't call him "fat". even though he will be quick t tell you how "awful" that sweater/hairstyle /cologne is on you etc.

Venus on Uranus is "interrupted"(Uranus) affections (Venus). So these guys are tough to get and even harder to keep. As there is some type of distraction that happens and the momentum has to start all over.

The inclusion of Neptune in the square adds to this. There could be an absent-mindedness of "where was I in relation to you again?" or "how was I feeling about you again?"

Occasional distance to re-connect or re-establish how their feelings are relative to you will be likely. As there is a tendency to be fixated with the beginning stages or the infatuation phase of the relationship.

To keep them going, these guys need to feel that they are still "dating" you even when you have long been involved with them etc.

So having to keep the romance and all that tenderness in between washing dishes and attending to daily affairs, is key. otherwise, their attention span is limited and it'll wane to other more flashing and distracting things.

Keyword here is "keep the spark alive".

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Brenda_S
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posted January 08, 2019 08:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brenda_S     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I don't think anyone should "change" who they are so that the other person likes. In time, we all "default" to whom we really are anyways.

Venus-Mercury is "music"(Venus) to my ears(Mercury). But its ruler(Saturn/Uranus) doesn't necessarily mean that the person considered is only interested in hearing sweet nothings whispered into their ear.

I think here they may pay more attention to insight, ability to use the right words and sentence construction etc. That is what is key.

To Aqua, you have to make sense(Saturn rules them). And if you do it in a way that is not parroting other people , then that is best.

Venus/Moon square could make someone acutely (square) sensitive(Moon) to aesthetics(Venus). I find this combo as the eternal search for an ideal. "Ugliness" or "disharmony" with their outlook could literally make them sick.

There is likely to be quick/forthcoming comments or criticism when it comes to voicing out things that are not to their taste or not like-able. This especially when warring Mars rules Venus in Aries. They may complain a lot.

To put it bluntly; there is a resistance or discomfort with being surrounded or coming into contact with "ugly".

I lived with a guy who had Moon Aries-Venus in Libra opposite.And he was quick to call people "ugly" and was very vocal of his partners when they gained weight or didn't dress up properly etc.

He had fluctuating weight issues due to tendencies to go to extremes in diet. but don't call him "fat". even though he will be quick t tell you how "awful" that sweater/hairstyle /cologne is on you etc.

Venus on Uranus is "interrupted"(Uranus) affections (Venus). So these guys are tough to get and even harder to keep. As there is some type of distraction that happens and the momentum has to start all over.

The inclusion of Neptune in the square adds to this. There could be an absent-mindedness of "where was I in relation to you again?" or "how was I feeling about you again?"

Occasional distance to re-connect or re-establish how their feelings are relative to you will be likely. As there is a tendency to be fixated with the beginning stages or the infatuation phase of the relationship.

To keep them going, these guys need to feel that they are still "dating" you even when you have long been involved with them etc.

So having to keep the romance and all that tenderness in between washing dishes and attending to daily affairs, is key. otherwise, their attention span is limited and it'll wane to other more flashing and distracting things.

Keyword here is "keep the spark alive".


Nice, it's interesting that we have similar Venus aspects, just his sits in the seventh and mine in the first.

And I didn't mention anything about changing behavior... I'm pretty against that actually. Was just wondering how his Venus Mercury finds to be my Mars Mercury. And both being our planet rulers. Like if the fact that his Venus being in Aries would change the peaceful factor he's probably seeking out when relating.

But thanks for the breakdown of energies. I love how you described it.

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DRVM614K
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Posts: 108
From: Columbus, Ohio, US
Registered: Nov 2018

posted January 08, 2019 10:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DRVM614K     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
chiron conjunct mars. your supposed to help people with males in general. mercury being square the nodes. you need to concentrate on the Capricorn placements and aspects to it. mars and chrion are definitely whats holding you back. are you a bully? work with your Saturn in aqua as well. are you religious?

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DRVM614K
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posted January 08, 2019 10:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DRVM614K     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
chiron conjunct mars. your supposed to help people with males in general. mercury being square the nodes. you need to concentrate on the Capricorn placements and aspects to it. mars and chrion are definitely whats holding you back. are you a bully? work with your Saturn in aqua as well. are you religious?

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Melinn
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posted January 08, 2019 01:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Melinn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I just stopped by to second all of what people here said already, especially aries23 made me nod for myself in every sentence, point on!

Moon does represent females in our lifes, and yours is in contact with saturn, meaning, you need emotionally serious and mature females. Those wil make you feel safe. But its more complex then just that aspect of course, there are may factors.

Jupiter may point at you needing females despite being serious also needs to be happy go lucky and have good knowledge about things. And that is emotionally recillient. Also moon is in 12th if your Tob is correct,
which means, you need females that are very very empathic. High EQ and such. Maybe even spiritual if you yourself are or it can point to, you needing that kind of people in your life for your emotional wellbeing. Just my 2 cents!

Also I would advice against thinking "I NEVER make friends with females" and its alike. Because if you think this too much and imprent it in your uncouncious, you will send out this as vibrations, our frequensies or whatever to call it. ANd that way that could repell potential females from your life.

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Melinn
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posted January 08, 2019 01:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Melinn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I myself are very picky and choosy with my friends in general. I don't have any hard time connecting or attracting female friends though. I can be prickly, yes. But thankfully I can dial it down and be super charming and happy go lucky etc. I thank my taurus-virgo and aries-gemini for all that , and my neptune aspects (empathic).

But my social circle is just too narrow.I'm very plutonic and also saturnian and spiritual etc. All or nothing, can't take fakeness.

I take friendship very seriously! (also venus-saturn trine)

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Brenda_S
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posted January 08, 2019 05:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brenda_S     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DRVM614K:
chiron conjunct mars. your supposed to help people with males in general. mercury being square the nodes. you need to concentrate on the Capricorn placements and aspects to it. mars and chrion are definitely whats holding you back. are you a bully? work with your Saturn in aqua as well. are you religious?

It's interesting the Chiron Mars conjunct you mentioned. I'll have to look into it further.

I don't think I can call myself a bully, but I'd bully the people that bully others if that makes sense. Or at least make them feel sorry for being born lol. And yeah I am religious. (I guess the Saturn in the ninth?)

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Brenda_S
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posted January 08, 2019 05:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brenda_S     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Melinn:
I just stopped by to second all of what people here said already, especially aries23 made me nod for myself in every sentence, point on!

Moon does represent females in our lifes, and yours is in contact with saturn, meaning, you need emotionally serious and mature females. Those wil make you feel safe. But its more complex then just that aspect of course, there are may factors.

Jupiter may point at you needing females despite being serious also needs to be happy go lucky and have good knowledge about things. And that is emotionally recillient. Also moon is in 12th if your Tob is correct,
which means, you need females that are very very empathic. High EQ and such. Maybe even spiritual if you yourself are or it can point to, you needing that kind of people in your life for your emotional wellbeing. Just my 2 cents!

Also I would advice against thinking "I NEVER make friends with females" and its alike. Because if you think this too much and imprent it in your uncouncious, you will send out this as vibrations, our frequensies or whatever to call it. ANd that way that could repell potential females from your life.


Actually spot on with the type of woman I'd like. The being serious but happy go lucky at the same time (and the knowledge of course, probably most important lol). And the 12th house characteristics too, which interesting I never really thought about before. I wonder why.

And you're right lol, I really don't think that I constantly think that I'm not attracting females. Honestly I never really thought about it up until last week when I cut this one person I like out of my life. And then I'm like, well I'm left with no one haha. I should probably reiterate, it's not that I don't have friends, but none I'd like to hang out with. And that to me at the end of the day is called not having friends. Because ultimately I just stay in. But thanks for your input!

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DRVM614K
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From: Columbus, Ohio, US
Registered: Nov 2018

posted January 08, 2019 09:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DRVM614K     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Brenda_S:
It's interesting the Chiron Mars conjunct you mentioned. I'll have to look into it further.

I don't think I can call myself a bully, but I'd bully the people that bully others if that makes sense. Or at least make them feel sorry for being born lol. And yeah I am religious. (I guess the Saturn in the ninth?)


Yeah. u must really be into the occult and 8th house dealings as well. you should work with Saturn and the moon to resolve.

And in this case there is a real answer and I dot know how id didn't see it as soon as I so the post.

your starting out in the south node (mars in cancer) explaining the male friends, trying to get to the north node, (spiritual authority?) pisces intercepted.

your having to go to every extent of what pisces means in the 10th for what ever reputation, public image as well as a detached, humanitarian, belief system, for you religion, but the square with mercury is stopping you from getting to the north node.


anything conjunct the south node stays intact until the 1st Saturn return. the congestion gets unclogged then all those north node conjunctions, especially Saturn should be worked on.

so yeah, mercury (being you, your asc) in aries(male) 11 house(friends) in the way of you from getting to cap placements. u friending more females might not really be what u need to do.

Don't ditch ALL ur male friends. like you said youll still need that core few. because of the south node placement you have the intuition to weed out who will be beneficial in the long run. Might be a little scuffle u get into when the transiting nodes conj ur south node. soooooo ye your posting this s$%@ right on time.

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Brenda_S
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posted January 09, 2019 04:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brenda_S     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DRVM614K:
Yeah. u must really be into the occult and 8th house dealings as well. you should work with Saturn and the moon to resolve.

And in this case there is a real answer and I dot know how id didn't see it as soon as I so the post.

your starting out in the south node (mars in cancer) explaining the male friends, trying to get to the north node, (spiritual authority?) pisces intercepted.

your having to go to every extent of what pisces means in the 10th for what ever reputation, public image as well as a detached, humanitarian, belief system, for you religion, but the square with mercury is stopping you from getting to the north node.


anything conjunct the south node stays intact until the 1st Saturn return. the congestion gets unclogged then all those north node conjunctions, especially Saturn should be worked on.

so yeah, mercury (being you, your asc) in aries(male) 11 house(friends) in the way of you from getting to cap placements. u friending more females might not really be what u need to do.

Don't ditch ALL ur male friends. like you said youll still need that core few. because of the south node placement you have the intuition to weed out who will be beneficial in the long run. Might be a little scuffle u get into when the transiting nodes conj ur south node. soooooo ye your posting this s$%@ right on time.


Dang didn't even look at transits, good call. Thanks for the insight.

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DRVM614K
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From: Columbus, Ohio, US
Registered: Nov 2018

posted January 09, 2019 01:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DRVM614K     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Dang didn't even look at transits, good call. Thanks for the insight.

np. please do check out the "Life long depression" post, for the sake of context and perspective. another person has similar aspects to yours concerning the nodes.

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Brenda_S
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Registered: Sep 2018

posted January 09, 2019 07:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Brenda_S     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DRVM614K:
np. please do check out the "Life long depression" post, for the sake of context and perspective. another person has similar aspects to yours concerning the nodes.

Ok cool thanks!

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