posted January 26, 2019 01:40 PM            

From my understanding, Uranus on my moon was just there to wreck havoc on the last thing I felt like had to make sense in my life or take me out. My family. My mother’s house where I live with my older sister. Saturn is currently ending it’s two year long transit in my 4th house. Now my Moon is in Capricorn in the 5th House and my 4th House Cusp finds itself in Sagittarius. This Sag/Cap pole is the coldest place of the Zodiac. Which means needless to say that I’ve never really felt like I’ve had a “home” in the figurative sense. I’ve never really gotten along with my mother very well, I do not agree with anything she ever says or does. We are just plainly from different planets that are just inconjunct (lol).. won’t work together. Even the people in my hometown I’ve always felt so different from. In elementary and high school I was always stuck somewhere not knowing which group I was happier into. Where my most authentic peaceful self could shine through. I was just always very very very rebellious. From sneaking out and staying out for days at a time the age of 13.

I just never really knew where I fit in. And for this reason, everything I’ve tried to do in my life I’ve failed at. Especially through relationships. Now that Saturn is 1 degree away from entering my 5th House and Uranus is squaring my Moon for the last time, I am realizing that I still don’t know who I am and what I want to do. Who should be in my life, what I want... any of that. I am psychologically unrooted.

Now I’ve made many posts on this forum complaining about different situations that all came down to me not knowing really who I was supposed to be and what to do when I had to make important life decisions. But today I want to hear about you. Tell me where your roots are. What do you value in life and why? What makes you happy? How much money do you need to be able to do that? How do you make that money and how do you plan on continuing? What do you do? When did you find out that you were in a good place? Maybe through one of you I can get a better vision...

posted January 26, 2019 02:55 PM            

I've got Chiron in Cancer just in the end of my 4th house, conjunct South Node in Leo just into my 5th house, as well as Jupiter in Leo in the 5th.

I grew up moving around a lot- I wasn't particularly bothered by it, I liked change and shaking things up. But probably because I was always happy at home, rarely outside of it. As I grew up, I realized that there was a lot of pain in my home life, and no matter where I tried to be, it followed me into some aspect of my life. Friendships, hobbies- nothing felt satisfying (until I found the internet, but I suspect that's my NN in Aquarius/11th).

I still have the urge to move around every few years- in fact I get quite restless if I'm living in one place for more than a few years. If I don't at least travel for a while, I can get real cranky- or at least I have in the past. It seems to be evening out as I get older, and the more autonomy I grow into helps.

posted January 27, 2019 05:24 PM            

Like Implosions mentioned, we moved around a lot(Moon). And so I struggled to find real belonging anywhere as I got older.

The one thing about my home however is that when it was good, it was really good. But the worst was my Father ;who was Cancer Sun and had the most changeable moods. He was very easily irritable,critical & fussy.

Now my Ic squares Mercury/Mars to characterize what I said above. And like Implosions, I have learned that I can go anywhere in life. But still find a home within myself.

If there is one thing Moon conjunct Ic or in 4th teaches one is : you can create a warm, homey environment wherever you are. As I am active domestically;I cook,bake, clean, paint, wash clothes,dishes etc.

My 5th house cusp is Leo and its empty. The ruler(Sun) forms a conjunction to Neptune.

Neptune in 5th or Neptune/Venus people are similar to me. I am deeply romantic and love to create little romantic scenarios and stories in my head.

Neptune adds idealism(at worst delusions) to the 5th, so there is a tendency for one to want to extend the romantic phase of the relationship for as long as possible.

Neptune is not big on physical sex for its own sake. But sensuality. Its standards are not only unrealistic but what adds to the confusion is them being unclear.

Neptune also adds fog to love prospects & some misunderstandings i.e falling inlove with someone whom is ill equipped to return the sentiment (abusive,married,psychotic).

The other is having other people fall inlove with you and project their own ideals on you. Making it harder for them to see you for you i.e you are the romantic lead in their novel etc.

The other possibility is not knowing what you want in relationships, whom you are attracted to and why?

Sometimes , especially if Uranus/ Mercury /Venus/Jup or Moon is in the 8th or interacting with it, fluid sexual identity is indicated or a intricate sexual orientation.

The problem is not necessarily that may be bisexual. The problem could arise in being on the fence and not asserting ones bisexuality for fear that it may "box" them. So one may even keep their sexual orientation secret or entertain it in an under carpet way etc. And in other cases it could be latent.

Neptune(like Uranus) hates boxes and can seep through them unnoticed.

posted January 27, 2019 05:48 PM            

I also wanted to mention that since you have Sag on the Ic,Jupiter rules the Ic.

I dont know what sign Jupiter is in and what aspect it makes. But as a Jupiter in Sag inconjunct the Ic myself,one thing I can say is that Jupiter is extremely open- ended.

Your sense of not belonging anywhere could be because of mental restlessness. And not being able to make that much needed mental connection with anyone.

Once you find that mate,I suspect that things will feel better. And you will feel less of a need to detach yourself from your family or see emotional connections as "transient"

Jupiter is strongly mental and very detached from the subjective self . It thinks of things from a holistic "human" level than thinking in terms of family ties or the self etc.

So it may preoccupy itself with big issues of global hunger,warfare and greed etc. Than think of whether to cook beef or fish for supper.

Its exhalation in Cancer means that one considers humanity as "family". And extends themselves to worry(sometimes needlessly) about the fate of mankind.