posted January 29, 2019 09:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i think i thought i was more of an adult at 21 than i do in retrospect at 32

biologically speaking your brain hasn't even finished forming until around 25 or so (your prefrontal cortex)

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posted January 29, 2019 09:34 AM            

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Originally posted by Leo-Cancer98:
I thought that only applied to men, since women start 3 puberty years before them?

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from what i remember 25 is just the average regardless, but i could be wrong

that being said i've been around enough 21 year olds to say many of them aren't adults in the same way someone significantly older than them is

on an individual level you'll find some people, but for the most part? nah

i mean think about it in terms of average lifespan and such a 21 year old is more likely to have less life experience and a less broad perspective because they haven't experienced or learned as much as someone older than them has (again that can vary, someone being older doesnt mean they've experienced much or are mature)

puberty doesn't make someone an adult anyway, there's kids in elementary school who have gone through puberty that doesn't mean much in their case now does it?

a 21 year old isn't the equivalent of a 16 year old typically, but on average they're still in the process of learning to function as adults and in more of a transitory phase than someone older

there's circumstance and individuals obviously and you'll find very mature people at all different ages (think of the maturity levels expressed by very young people with terminal illness for example) and immature people of all different ages too

but for the most part? no

i'm assuming you're around that age, in which case consider this question yourself in even just a few years

posted January 29, 2019 01:43 PM            

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Originally posted by DRVM614K:
Its subjective. One may be an adult but your not "grown" til 28 29. Most early somethings acy just like that.. Teenagers. And ye puberty doesnt have anything to do with brian development. Females "mature" faster than males becuase of all the soy and food modification.

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posted January 29, 2019 01:50 PM            

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Originally posted by kani:
You mean physically?
Women mature faster than men (emotionally and mentally) because they are held accountable for their actions much more than men. That "boys will be boys" (urgh hate that) mindset keeps males immature for much longer than females.

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well that's not true, that's like saying women aren't held accountable for anything because they're not expected to take care of themselves or be strong etc etc etc

plenty of women have it in their heads that they can find a man who will take care of them, and that it's a man's responsibility to do so

they're also usually more emotionally coddled, and typically not even expected to be rational

and if you want to talk about men being emotionally stunted consider how many men are told they basically can't have emotions because they're supposed to be strong whereas a woman's emotional state is more likely to be nurtured in childhood a man is much more likely to be crushed

posted January 29, 2019 01:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:
You mean physically?
Women mature faster than men (emotionally and mentally) because they are held accountable for their actions much more than men. That "boys will be boys" (urgh hate that) mindset keeps males immature for much longer than females.

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In gynocentric USA I see thats the status quo. Ive experienced some incompetent females who never got it still to this day in there 30s. Im speaking psychologically all together not just socially, mentally and emotionally.

And I must say i have no idea about one being held more accountable than the other. If that is the case its of there own doing. In the context of the convo it looks like its to there own detriment. One could argue to tell both to fully live out there childhoods. Don't grow up too fast. Boys being boys for as long as they can doesn't sound so bad, seei g as childhood IS the shortest stage of development. One does there self a disservice by pushing the biological learning curve

posted January 29, 2019 02:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i think i thought i was more of an adult at 21 than i do in retrospect at 32

biologically speaking your brain hasn't even finished forming until around 25 or so (your prefrontal cortex)

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posted January 29, 2019 04:27 PM            

Usually 25 is when we start realizing on a subconscious level that there really is more out there than us. Sure we likely are consciously aware of it (and for some this door gets opened early; I'm thinking of Saturn heavy types. But from 25-30 is essentially the beginnings of your Saturn Return, where you're really grinding in and finalizing who you think or feel you are. And Saturn isn't about to let you keep anything that isn't going to work out in the long run (at least not without a real good fight to prove it's worth).

I think the problems have come from the fact that we have no ... healthy expression of Saturn in the world right now. There's an over EXERTION of Saturn energy; corrupt authority, restrictive segregation and a sense of 'do as you're told or you'll rot in jail and the rest of your life will be ruined forever'. This, to me, is a very toxic version of what Saturn represents. Sure, there is a need to be on the right path, make sure you're not doing certain things that are truly going to be detrimental to you later on ... but the level of extremism we have in the world right now is obscene.

Thank god for Pluto in Capricorn right now! He's been wreaking havoc for years now, tearing down the ideas that you have to listen to the Man and do exactly as you're told, live a certain way, be a certain person... He isn't standing for that toxic use of Cap energy. And now with Saturn being in it's home sign again, the boss is really here, trying to both reassert what we've known for ages with a vengeance-- which has worked every time Saturn has returned to Cap since 1776! That's a loooong time for toxic authority to solidify it's agenda, if you ask me. But it's going to get a rude wake up call this time when it realizes Pluto is standing at the (2020, heh) gate. No more toxicity, it's time to get rid of it and transform it into something more useful and healthy. My fear however, which I have suspected for a long time, is that it will require a large scale amount of grieving to let go. That could mean a lot of things (would rather not get into it here on this thread, that's a whole other can of worms).

But yes, got a bit off topic. 20-25 are 'adults' in many ways, able to make their own conscious decisions, have autonomy, venture into the world themselves, etc, able to make their own choices ... But Older generations will always look at ANYONE younger, especially a younger generation, and perpetually see them as 'too young'. I find this relates back to the whole Saturn issue- but also it's quite natural. The issue comes up when those older gens start enforcing or manipulating their authority in toxic ways (I'm cringing as I think of 40+ older men (sometimes women) who date these 20-25 year olds. There are so painfully few healthy, helpful relationships between older and younger generations anymore that aren't either 'strictly under these rules' ie: teachers being paid for any help, or the other way, 'give me emotional security and ill provide physical security' in the more sexual avenues.

Not to say there isn't always a percentage of people who do genuinely fall in love- but I find that when sex involves in these particular years, it REALLY skews the learning curve for the younger party. I want to be angry; these older people could be so genuinely helpful if they kept their genitals out of it.

posted January 29, 2019 09:47 PM            

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Originally posted by Leo-Cancer98:
Why do people act like a 21-year old, is, like, 16 and still in high-school? “She’s ONLY 21!”, they say. While others consider her a grown woman legal worldwide.

So just wanted to hear your perspective on what y’all think about the early twenties

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posted January 29, 2019 11:16 PM            

Normally, if you were to graduate high-school and move on with your life, I would consider that the beginning of adulthood. Of course not everyone's circumstances are the same and sometimes adulthood can start earlier or later in someone's life (such as a 16 year old getting kicked out of his own home and having to survive on his own and fend for himself), but generally this is the phase that starts adulthood.

It is the very beginning of adulthood. I feel that this sort of mentality where people tend to treat it like you're still 16 in high school comes from the fact that people do change with experience and the knowledge that comes from living in the world. It's a natural thing for people to do; most adults who talk to a five year old are going to simplify their speech and try to make it easier for them because they know that this child isn't mentally capable yet to understand the deeper complexities of this information due to their age.

Overtime, that sort of attitude sticks with you as you age and never really goes away. When you look at yourself as a child you realize how much you've changed, matured (hopefully), and who you've become in this particular moment. How you view that change is how you view others who are the age you once were. If you have a poor relationship with who you once were in the past that can be reflected onto how you judge others who are currently that age and that can explain why this sort of attitude occurs in the first place. Maybe they thought that as a child they ****** **** up all the time and never really did anything right; they're going to apply that experience in how to deal with others who are that age now.

posted January 30, 2019 03:12 AM            

I think it depends on the culture, family, background, society.

Westerners are generally allowed to be much more immature for a lot longer than say Koreans (n/s) and Japanese.

It comes down to responsibility, rather than the title. In the US it's "OK, you're 21, you're a full fledged adult!" whereas in other countries, you're expected to be more responsible at 16, and others, such as some European countries, 18.

It doesn't mean you're meant to have a family or are allowed to drink. For me, that's just the label of adult rather than being one. Heck, you've got lots of irresponsible adult-babies who are drinkers with kids.

posted January 30, 2019 03:17 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DRVM614K:
Its subjective. One may be an adult but your not "grown" til 28 29. Most early somethings acy just like that.. Teenagers. And ye puberty doesnt have anything to do with brian development. Females "mature" faster than males becuase of all the soy and food modification.

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The soy affects men a lot more than women.

posted January 30, 2019 03:27 AM            

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Originally posted by Lalafortunaea:
There's BEING and adult label wise, and there's ACTING like one.

I think it depends on the culture, family, background, society.

Westerners are generally allowed to be much more immature for a lot longer than say Koreans (n/s) and Japanese.

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Yes, it depends.
Most think I'm still Immature.
Soon will hit 37.

posted January 30, 2019 10:17 AM            

The human brain does not finish developing until the 30s to late 40s actually:

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2010-12-brain-fully-mature-30s-40s.html

At 21, you really don't know anything about life unless you've been growing up on the streets. I see the 20s as a transition to adulthood. You are not a child, but you are definitely not grown up. I see even married couples in their 20s acting like children and making unbelievably nonsensical decisions, so getting married or having kids doesn't necessarily indicate someone is grown up.

I didn't really feel like an adult until I was 29. Nothing remarkable happened during my Saturn Return...I just felt more like an adult. Now I'm 33 and I can already see a huge difference in my thinking compared to when I was 29. I feel a lot calmer when faced with obstacles. I feel more comfortable with life in general. Sure, there is still plenty that I don't know especially compared to people in their 40s and 50s, but life isn't as scary as when I was in my 20s.

posted February 01, 2019 07:17 PM            

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Originally posted by Astra:
Legally, they are adults. Psychologically speaking....they are definitely not adults. If you hang around the average 21 year old in the US, they act very much like teens: they party, get drunk to the point they are passed out even though they may have work/school in the morning, make impulsive choices and are shocked there are consequences, etc.

The human brain does not finish developing until the 30s to late 40s actually:

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2010-12-brain-fully-mature-30s-40s.html

At 21, you really don't know anything about life unless you've been growing up on the streets. I see the 20s as a transition to adulthood. You are not a child, but you are definitely not grown up. I see even married couples in their 20s acting like children and making unbelievably nonsensical decisions, so getting married or having kids doesn't necessarily indicate someone is grown up.

I didn't really feel like an adult until I was 29. Nothing remarkable happened during my Saturn Return...I just felt more like an adult. Now I'm 33 and I can already see a huge difference in my thinking compared to when I was 29. I feel a lot calmer when faced with obstacles. I feel more comfortable with life in general. Sure, there is still plenty that I don't know especially compared to people in their 40s and 50s, but life isn't as scary as when I was in my 20s.

Being in my 20s felt like I still had that feeling of uncertainty that you have when you start a new job. You constantly wonder: is this the right decision? Am I choosing the right path? What do I do if I mess up? How do I get out of this mess? It really is a crappy time and I definitely don't miss those years of feeling like I was wandering through a labyrinth.

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