posted April 28, 2019 10:14 AM            

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Originally posted by MMarie:
I have Venus in the 12th 1 degree away from the ASC. Although at times I notice it acting more like a first house Venus, for the most part it acts as a 12th house Venus. I have to admit I attract and am attracted to unavailable people. Could be my own issues though. My love life has been rough and a bit odd - but I have Venus quincunx Uranus. I think there are good aspects to Venus in the 12th but it can be very lonely and even confusing in some ways for the person who has it.

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i have venus-uranus going on too, but a sextile

i haven't experienced much confusion or loneliness, i mean ive been someone else's affair sure but they were always on the side anyway and it wasn't a big deal

doesnt it only count as unavailable if youre expecting dates?

posted April 28, 2019 10:15 AM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i have it conjunct my ascendant from the 12th and i've never experienced unrequited love, but i have had friends with benefits who were in relationships while we were ******* around and things with my ex started while she was engaged

with my fiancee though none of that has been a thing, us getting together happened while we were both single (after years of things that shouldve made it obvious that was coming but im dumb as **** ), i know she loves me because i'm an annoying ******* and she wouldnt be here without that, and other than us being open there's nothing really going on but i tell her everything and vice versa

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posted April 28, 2019 10:24 AM            

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Originally posted by MMarie:
Dumuzi I think we have similar aspects. Did you say you have mars square moon? And a water void?

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yeah no personal planets in water signs (only pluto in scorpio in my 1st house, libra ascendant though) and moon square mars (aries moon cap mars)

edit:

here's mine, copied it from another thread where i was talking about priapus and lilith thats why theyre on there

posted April 28, 2019 10:26 AM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i have venus-uranus going on too, but a sextile

i haven't experienced much confusion or loneliness, i mean ive been someone else's affair sure but they were always on the side anyway and it wasn't a big deal

doesnt it only count as unavailable if youre expecting dates?

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posted April 28, 2019 10:28 AM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
yeah no personal planets in water signs (only pluto in scorpio in my 1st house, libra ascendant though) and moon square mars (aries moon cap mars)

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Same - no planets in water sign, Pluto in Scorpio in 4th. Leo ascendant. Moon square mars (Leo moon square Taurus Mars). Taurus mars in 10th house though trine Saturn so I think it has Cap qualities.

Here’s mine when I posted a bit ago with transits:

posted April 28, 2019 10:38 AM            

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Originally posted by MMarie:
I guess it depends on what unavailable means to each person. I’ve been in situations where I could probably have ended up being the person someone in a relationship is having an affair with but I have never let it get to that point. I cloud emotions with physical affection too much can’t separate the 2 and just know at the end of the day I would get hurt. But doesn’t stop me from being attracted to people in relationships/married. In fact I am more attracted to people in relationships but again could be my own issues, like knowing it won’t go anywhere at least I won’t get hurt and have to be vulnerable.

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i've been the other person without knowing, though that hasn't always been true, mostly because it was just casual sex and not serious and not close to the person just someone i used drugs with or drank with

i've also hooked up while there was an on/off relationship during the off periods

there werent feelings on my part in those circumstances

with my ex there was, but she told me she loved me when that started and they broke up so it wasnt a thing for most of what went on between us (my fiancee knew though and that ended up being a threeway thing)

i separate feelings and sex, they can go together and sex can be part of deep intimacy, but i don't see them as mutually inclusive every time

posted April 28, 2019 10:43 AM            

god damn that's a lot of leo

posted April 28, 2019 10:56 AM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
@MMarie

god damn that's a lot of leo

i've noticed for me that with moon-mars the issue with only getting mad at people i'm close to is a big thing for me (i'm detached when it comes toother people) do you have that issue or is it different for you with your moon being in the first?

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I’ve had some sort of anger issues since I was young. My mom said I used to curse a lot when little lol and remember having outbursts, not often but when I got angry it was explosive. I’ve had not the easiest childhood though so it’s not out of nowhere.I am still that way to a certain extent but have more control of it. It takes me a while to get that point but once I hit that point I’m fuming/raging inside. I think on the outside though people see me as controlled and like you I detach with certain people. But with moon being in first it is much harder to hide my emotions. Unfortunately you will always see it on my face or in my body language which I hate. I think I’ve learned at the end of the day the anger is a good thing and to accept it otherwise I deal with depression.

posted April 28, 2019 11:35 AM            

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Originally posted by MMarie:
I’ve had some sort of anger issues since I was young. My mom said I used to curse a lot when little lol and remember having outbursts, not often but when I got angry it was explosive. I’ve had not the easiest childhood though so it’s not out of nowhere.I am still that way to a certain extent but have more control of it. It takes me a while to get that point but once I hit that point I’m fuming/raging inside. I think on the outside though people see me as controlled and like you I detach with certain people. But with moon being in first it is much harder to hide my emotions. Unfortunately you will always see it on my face or in my body language which I hate. I think I’ve learned at the end of the day the anger is a good thing and to accept it otherwise I deal with depression.

Do you find it effects your relationships? I notice not a lot of people cant handle this aspect of me so the ones who can I am closest to or at least can show this side of me.

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i can have a terrible temper yeah, and i can be completely cold about it too i'm extremely hard to actually get mad though and most people just can't get me there without history i just don't care

i'm generally apathetic and laid back, and most people can't really imagine me getting mad but when i do it's very destructive

a lot of people tell me i'm good at knowing what to say and do to make them feel special and loved and understood etc, and i'm equally good at knowing how to completely destroy and hurt a person too because it comes from the same place

i've learned to be careful with it

all of my close relationships have been with plutonic or scorpio heavy people where that side of me has been more understood and created more of a sense of closeness than anything

with my immediate family i have less patience but that's because i don't like nearly all of them very much

lot of issues there growing up and the synastry makes it pretty obvious my parents both have their plutos loosely conjunct my sun, my mother's saturn is exact on my mars and my father's is on my ic, my older brother's pluto is exact on my ascendant (our synastry is ****** , he's also the only person i get annoyed just being in the same room as, lot of **** there though and i tend to just go through the motions of civility with him) and my younger brother puts saturn on my ic and his pluto squares my mercury (i prefer him to the rest of my immediate family though)

growing up i wasnt allowed to have/mention feelings (unless they were positive), react to anything etc regardless of what went on i had to pretend nothing happened, push everything down and carry on or i'd be punished/hit as a result i have a really hard time with expressing, recognizing, and understanding my own feelings (i have an easier time with other people's and tend to not value my own because they'll pass anyway unless it's something like caring about someone)

i tend to be detached and apathetic and when i do care deeply and someone makes me feel something theyre always plutonic and want every side of me anyway so it works out well at least with that

with people who arent like that i dont really feel anything, keep things light and dont get close (all of my close relationships have been people who want to dig deep, ignore the way i can push people away, and decide to just be around) just really casual ****

no one who's seen the full extent of it has ever walked away from me over it, i've been lucky with that but they usually have their own raw dark sides that don't keep me away either and they tend to get closer afterwards

it's not that i feel like i cant show it to most people, it's that i just dont have the feelings there that would result in them seeing it

posted April 28, 2019 12:12 PM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i can have a terrible temper yeah, and i can be completely cold about it too i'm extremely hard to actually get mad though and most people just can't get me there without history i just don't care

i'm generally apathetic and laid back, and most people can't really imagine me getting mad but when i do it's very destructive

a lot of people tell me i'm good at knowing what to say and do to make them feel special and loved and understood etc, and i'm equally good at knowing how to completely destroy and hurt a person too because it comes from the same place

i've learned to be careful with it

all of my close relationships have been with plutonic or scorpio heavy people where that side of me has been more understood and created more of a sense of closeness than anything

with my immediate family i have less patience but that's because i don't like nearly all of them very much

lot of issues there growing up and the synastry makes it pretty obvious my parents both have their plutos loosely conjunct my sun, my mother's saturn is exact on my mars and my father's is on my ic, my older brother's pluto is exact on my ascendant (our synastry is ****** , he's also the only person i get annoyed just being in the same room as, lot of **** there though and i tend to just go through the motions of civility with him) and my younger brother puts saturn on my ic and his pluto squares my mercury (i prefer him to the rest of my immediate family though)

growing up i wasnt allowed to have/mention feelings (unless they were positive), react to anything etc regardless of what went on i had to pretend nothing happened, push everything down and carry on or i'd be punished/hit as a result i have a really hard time with expressing, recognizing, and understanding my own feelings (i have an easier time with other people's and tend to not value my own because they'll pass anyway unless it's something like caring about someone)

i tend to be detached and apathetic and when i do care deeply and someone makes me feel something theyre always plutonic and want every side of me anyway so it works out well at least with that

with people who arent like that i dont really feel anything, keep things light and dont get close (all of my close relationships have been people who want to dig deep, ignore the way i can push people away, and decide to just be around) just really casual ****

no one who's seen the full extent of it has ever walked away from me over it, i've been lucky with that but they usually have their own raw dark sides that don't keep me away either and they tend to get closer afterwards

it's not that i feel like i cant show it to most people, it's that i just dont have the feelings there that would result in them seeing it

im curious though, do you think that contributes to you being attracted to unavailable people almost as a safety net?

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Yeah most definitely it would be a way to have a safety net. I keep most people at arms length. It’s really hard for me to have a true emotional connection with someone.

And I really can relate to a lot of what you said. I’m controlled inside but so many people have used the term laid back for me when I’m really deep down not at all. I think it’s a coping mechanism or a way to detach or manage what I’m really feeling. My childhood has been similar with repressed anger/emotions. It was very confusing because my mother was expressive with her anger to the point of throwing things at my dad/ cursing and had a very volatile household but me and my siblings were never allowed to express anger especially if it was directed at my mom or anger caused from something she did. Where as my dad was just straight up emotionally abusive towards us. I think I took it the hardest though our synastry is the worst with anyone I know. His Pluto smack on my sun/moon, Saturn square my sun/moon, sun opposite my sun/moon, his mars square my mercury, and my mars square his sun. The chart is almost all red lol.

Hearing your story there’s a lot of similarities. Maybe moons square mars is just the struggle to express your emotions and anger seems to be the outlet.

posted April 28, 2019 12:55 PM            

i keep most people at arm's length too, but idk some people i just feel a connection with that hits me somewhere deep (it's rare, they're always plutonic or have scorpio placements) and i can't really tell you what does it they just feel special and like "im supposed to know you" and those people i'll let close in spite of myself

those connections are always deeper than i feel comfortable with, and they always manage to pull **** out of me i don't normally feel

it's not that i'm controlled in my case, i can be that way, but it's more just there's a baseline of detached (could be the moon-uranus and moon-mercury in my chart) from my feelings if they aren't good and even if they are i don't necessarily feel particularly connected to other people the way they do me (other people feel connected to me easily, whereas i just don't feel that much from them aside from that occasional person who i feel deeply for without me understanding why)

my parents were both abusive and expressed their anger without issues, and my brothers were both allowed to express **** as well to a greater extent than me (my father favored my younger brother so he wasnt abused physically and i grew up with my father constantly telling me how much he prefered my younger brother and all the reasons why) and my older brother had a tendency to lose his **** and wouldnt be told to repress it as much because my parents decided me being smarter (i had the misfortune of being in gifted programs and **** , which wouldnt have been bad in another house i imagine, made my life difficult though) also meant i should be the one who would be more understanding of why i should never express anything negative

so my mother would always tell me that because everyone else was emotional or felt something i had to control myself while also tending to take her frustrations out with me or come to me to dump all of her feelings (everyone would dump theirs on me and i got used to not sharing mine) that she wouldnt share with my father or brothers because she saw them as weaker, more emotional, less logical etc

i also got a lot of "it's over move on" immediately after something someone else could be violent or whatever and then it'd be an expectation to immediately pretend nothing happened, not get angry etc

my mother is also the type who when something happens in front of her she'll straight up lie and tell you it didn't, someone could tell her something and she'll repeat something else immediately after and reconstruct reality to her liking (which is nearly always a rosy idealistic fantasy) so that thing that happened 15 minutes later it "never happened"

as a kid i used to feel like i had to ask other people if i was going crazy or if it was her because growing up in that makes you start to feel insane

just a lot of abuse and crazy **** really, and as a result there's definitely a detachment particularly from anger

i have a hard time recognizing feelings i have to express them (but i can tell if someone else is upset even if they arent showing it i can feel it on them) unless it's something simple like being happy or some ****

it takes years usually for someone i feel a connection with to even get me angry, i have to love them and there has to be build up

my libra placements help with keeping things pleasant yeah, and are why i think people feel more of a connection to me than i do them usually

i tend to just focus more on keeping things fun and light and not serious though

posted April 28, 2019 12:55 PM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i have it conjunct my ascendant from the 12th and i've never experienced unrequited love, but i have had friends with benefits who were in relationships while we were ******* around and things with my ex started while she was engaged

with my fiancee though none of that has been a thing, us getting together happened while we were both single (after years of things that shouldve made it obvious that was coming but im dumb as **** ), i know she loves me because i'm an annoying ******* and she wouldnt be here without that, and other than us being open there's nothing really going on but i tell her everything and vice versa

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posted April 28, 2019 01:00 PM            

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Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
Did the person who you were having a friends with benefits with tell you they were inovled with someone else? Or did you find out afterwards? Or find out on your own?

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ive known in some cases, not in others

with my most recent fwbs i found out he broke up with a gf i didnt know he had when he asked me to give him a tarot reading and it was about their break up

i knew he was ******* around with other people, which didnt matter because im with my fiancee so why would i care what he does when im with her you know? i just didnt know any of it was serious

he asked for a reading, i gave it to him asked if he just went through a bad break up and he told me he did and explained it

posted April 29, 2019 01:47 PM            

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Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
This supposedly a cheater placement.

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i have a few of those, so far i've never cheated

posted April 29, 2019 11:16 PM            

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Originally posted by Dons2angelss:
I have it in the 12th opposite Saturn. I've actually never been in love and I'd agree with all of the descriptions about it. I usually attract unavailable men, married, committed, on drugs, whatever the reason. I'm also unaware when someone is interested in me in that way unless they just come right out and say it. Both relationships I've been in I found myself being emotionally rejected over and over so yep, venus in the 12th is no fun lol. It takes a long time to learn how to work with it in a positive way.

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posted May 01, 2019 09:49 PM            

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Originally posted by MMarie:
Have you learned how to work with it in a positive way and if so can you share? Haha

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posted May 02, 2019 08:04 AM            

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Originally posted by MMarie:
Thank you Dons2angelss, I think you are absolutely right about what you said. Self love is the most important thing. Now just gotta learn how to do that haha.

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