posted May 02, 2019 08:00 PM            

I have immense self-control and patience, so I guess you could say I'm not ruled by my appetite, nor my hormones. Can’t blame teenagers, but many people in their 20s (even 30s) fail to comprehend that instant gratification, NEVER produces long-term happiness. Not in one single thing; not money, food, clothes, shoes, nor sex. It does, however, produce instant HAPPINESS; and there’s always a price, in some way, shape or form, to be paid for it down the road.

“The ability to discipline yourself, to delay instant gratification in the short-term, in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long run, is the indispensable prerequisite, for ultimate success" (Brian Tracy).

posted May 02, 2019 08:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
What price? Unless you're talking about STD...Harr Harr!...

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posted May 02, 2019 09:02 PM            

feelings come and go and that's all happiness is

you can save yourself, get married, and then be stuck legally bound to someone in a relationship that isn't working out there's no order to do **** that guarantees anything longterm

my fiancee and i had sex the first week we started dating, have been together 14 years and are only now serious about marriage; lost our virginity to each other

love and commitment aren't about government controlled legally binding vows

what do you have against short term happiness anyway? why not enjoy someone for a little while if things are there then move on when they're not because not all relationships can be serious but sometimes sex is just about fun? doing that x amount of times has nothing to do with relationships

people over romanticize sex, that's not to say it can't be deeply intimate and romantic etc it can, but that's not all sex there's very different kinds of sex and it just isn't the same with everyone

what price are you talking about anyway exactly? you could live what you consider a good life then have life completely go to **** in a matter of seconds if the right things fall out of place that doesn't make it punishment for past actions

clearly brian tracy wasn't talking about meaningless sex

posted May 02, 2019 09:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
What price? Unless you're talking about STD...Harr Harr!...

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posted May 03, 2019 07:05 AM            

It can certainly add to their feeling of being intimate with a spouse. Cancer always has security in mind when engaging in it.

Another placement that is "security conscious" is Taurus Venus/Taurus Mars and Taurus Moon.

Taurus is naturally very erotic and physically inclined(ruled by Venus) and so they may not necessarily "wait" for sex and marriage. But they will certainly consider it integral to their sense of security.

And perhaps marriage or something "committed" is best as they know they can get it anytime from the partner(as compared to having to go "hunt" for it each and every time elsewhere).

Again tgis is barring contrary aspects to Venus/Mars that may change the story.

Saturn in Scorpio/Saturn on Pluto(Mars)/Saturn in 8th
Saturn in Libra/Saturn on Venus/Saturn7th
Saturn in Leo/Saturn on Leo/Saturn 5th
Cap on 5th/Cap on 8th/Cap on the 7th

The above can be the "saving myself for marriage" types. With Libra being more interested in marriage than they are in sexual intimacy or all that goes with that.

Saturn shows restraint and ""saving" with the premise that virtue is tied up with self-denial.Uranus/ Neptune and Pluto are inclined to disagree. Unless those are predominantly in Cap(then they agree).

So Saturn even on Moon can incline one to being restrained. And depending on whether Moon is ruling 5th,7th and 8th etc. will determine if this restraint is pertaining to courtship/ sexual expression or sexual intimacy.

Typically I see people who sve themselves for marriage more likely "shamed" into thinking of sex in a warped way than is healthy. Fearing sex in some way etc.

posted May 03, 2019 03:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Cancer Venus\4th house Venus or Mars\4th house Mars (barring other aspects to them) tend to romanticize sex a lot. Seeing it as a "baby-making" exercise etc.

It can certainly add to their feeling of being intimate with a spouse. Cancer always has security in mind when engaging in it.

Another placement that is "security conscious" is Taurus Venus/Taurus Mars and Taurus Moon.

Taurus is naturally very erotic and physically inclined(ruled by Venus) and so they may not necessarily "wait" for sex and marriage. But they will certainly consider it integral to their sense of security.

And perhaps marriage or something "committed" is best as they know they can get it anytime from the partner(as compared to having to go "hunt" for it each and every time elsewhere).

Again tgis is barring contrary aspects to Venus/Mars that may change the story.

Saturn in Scorpio/Saturn on Pluto(Mars)/Saturn in 8th
Saturn in Libra/Saturn on Venus/Saturn7th
Saturn in Leo/Saturn on Leo/Saturn 5th
Cap on 5th/Cap on 8th/Cap on the 7th

The above can be the "saving myself for marriage" types. With Libra being more interested in marriage than they are in sexual intimacy or all that goes with that.

Saturn shows restraint and ""saving" with the premise that virtue is tied up with self-denial.Uranus/ Neptune and Pluto are inclined to disagree. Unless those are predominantly in Cap(then they agree).

So Saturn even on Moon can incline one to being restrained. And depending on whether Moon is ruling 5th,7th and 8th etc. will determine if this restraint is pertaining to courtship/ sexual expression or sexual intimacy.

Typically I see people who sve themselves for marriage more likely "shamed" into thinking of sex in a warped way than is healthy. Fearing sex in some way etc.

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posted May 03, 2019 04:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Leo-Cancer98:
I have Venus in Cancer and can't deny that I love the thought of procreation and making a baby. My better judgment knows I cannot afford one at the moment, nor will I be able to 5 years from now, so that definitely plays a role in me keeping my legs closed, lol. Not to mention, I don't like the idea of using a condom my first time. Touch and skin-to-skin contact is like oxytocin to me, lol.

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You remind me of a co-worker with Venus/Mars conjunct in Cancer.

At the office,one of our colleagues (male)was expecting a baby She revealed to me how she would look at his bulge in his work pants and salivate at the idea of him "filling up" the pregnant wife. It aroused her that he hit it "raw".I found it funny

At some point she said she got both jealous and envious of the pregnant spouse.She would look at his bulge and feel envious of her.The dude did have a big package lol.So i told her of how strange her fetishes are.

posted May 03, 2019 06:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:

You remind me of a co-worker with Venus/Mars conjunct in Cancer.

At the office,one of our colleagues (male)was expecting a baby She revealed to me how she would look at his bulge in his work pants and salivate at the idea of him "filling up" the pregnant wife. It aroused her that he hit it "raw".I found it funny

At some point she said she got both jealous and envious of the pregnant spouse.She would look at his bulge and feel envious of her.The dude did have a big package lol.So i told her of how strange her fetishes are.

In retrospect,I know that Cancer Ven/Mars definitely had something to do with it.

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posted May 05, 2019 12:46 PM            

However thats not really the reality of sex. You can be deeply in love with someone have great sex life, but still not have that spiritual bonding. Its so rare maybe once in a life time. Im guessing for the most most people wont have that type of experience until they are older and more experienced with life in general.

As humans we have 2 basic instincts
1 survival
2 reproduce

This day and age we are not to concerned about survival unless we feel we are in danger of dying.

So to reproduce moves to # 1
( even though) in our heads we are not trying to reproduce. Lol.
Sexual desire is built into our DNA for reproducing . It has to be pleasurable or why would we want to reproduce. Lol imagine if sex felt like a root canal. Would the human population die out??
We humans do a hell of a-lot of Reproducing because its so pleasurable.

There was a time where women were so sexually repressed. Women were not allowed to enjoy sex, sex was for the man. Women now insist HEY I WANT TO ENJOY IT ALSO dont forget about me!

Sex is such an important factor of any relationship. You can remain a virgin, fall in love, get married. Have sex on your wedding night. Through the years as u gain more experience you realize your not sexually compatible. That alone will ruin any marriage. Even if everything else is perfect.

I dont have anything against anyone that wants to wait, more power to them. Thats great. But if they are waiting for that spiritual bond through sex, then that person will most likely be disappointed.

Sexually each of us have to find our own way, what we like, dont like. We discover our own desires and needs. This happens naturally through experience.

I was married we had a great sex life, however it was in now way a spiritual bond, expecting it to be could be setting yourself up for disappointment.

I didn't a real spiritual bond with someone until i was in my late 30s . Honestly both of our separate experiences
Help us see the difference from great sex to spiritual sex

I had been.married had 2 kids, before i experienced it.

Sex/ sex pleasurable is just part of the human life/experience.

Sex can also help us grow individually as people.

posted May 05, 2019 04:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Leo-Cancer98:
Haha, that's funny. Yeah, I have the conjunction at a 0'10 degree orb.

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Ah maybe it is Cancer. I have Cancer in my 4th and 5th house.

posted May 05, 2019 07:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SoulOfABird:
Im interested in knowing what affects this as well. I have a very similar view on sex as you. I feel like it’s a spiritual and emotional bond. I wish that I could save myself for marriage but people often say that’s not a good idea. So I don’t know. I feel like sometimes it not a realistic thing, but if I had things my way the way I idealized, I would definitely wait til marriage. But I feel not many are willing to wait. So I feel like it would also be hard to find a guy who will want to wait.
I feel like sexual intercourse just for the pure feel/pleasure of it, can’t really bring you happiness can it? Like you said it’s like okay you do it then what? I don’t see any really enjoyments out of just doing it for pleasure. But what do I know I never even been in a relationship lol

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posted May 05, 2019 07:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Leo-Cancer98:
Me neither! If a guy you’re interested in is not willing to wait until marriage, then he it’s not love he feels towards you, it’s lust. Patiently wait on God to send you your husband, and everything will be fine.

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well that's a lie, over romanticizing a legally binding contract isn't love and sex before marriage isn't lust lol my fiancee and i were close friends for 4 years before we started dating, and 14 years later still not married lived together 13 of them

you mean to tell me i don't love her?

that's a pretty ignorant thing to say in all honesty, paperwork isn't love or commitment and neither is a ceremony

posted May 05, 2019 09:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SoulOfABird:
Im interested in knowing what affects this as well. I have a very similar view on sex as you. I feel like it’s a spiritual and emotional bond. I wish that I could save myself for marriage but people often say that’s not a good idea. So I don’t know. I feel like sometimes it not a realistic thing, but if I had things my way the way I idealized, I would definitely wait til marriage. But I feel not many are willing to wait. So I feel like it would also be hard to find a guy who will want to wait.
I feel like sexual intercourse just for the pure feel/pleasure of it, can’t really bring you happiness can it? Like you said it’s like okay you do it then what? I don’t see any really enjoyments out of just doing it for pleasure. But what do I know I never even been in a relationship lol
As for aspects... I don’t know maybe Pisces mars or mars-neptune?
I have Pisces Venus and Libra mars but my mars trines Neptune. I think Ive read mars-neptune can create someone inclined to like tantric and spiritual sex

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tantric sex is different than just sex, i would never have it with anyone aside from my fiancee but sex on its own isn't necessarily spiritual (i have mars-neptune loosely conjunct btw) it's the connection between people and how it's expressed that makes it special

no different than how you can hold someone's hand and it doesn't mean anything necessarily, but if you care about someone it does and you can feel them past the skin in ways you can't other people

marriage just isn't what gives a relationship meaning

as for sex that isn't that deep or meaningful, it's like anything else that's fun and feels good you do it you enjoyed it you move on, is there a "then what?" when you do anything else you enjoy? you either do it again or you don't

sex isn't the bond though, that exists without sex and having sex with people you dont connect to in that manner doesn't feel like sex with someone you do connect with

edit: the thing with waiting until marriage for sex is that generally comes with getting married quicker than someone else would, and a relationship isn't just like we're married this is commitment now everything is good forever lol they're work the entire length of them you don't just have a successful relationship and a deep spiritual bond because of the marriage itself and things fall apart without effort over the years if you fall into the trap of just taking the other person forgranted and ****

posted May 05, 2019 10:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
tantric sex is different than just sex, i would never have it with anyone aside from my fiancee but sex on its own isn't necessarily spiritual (i have mars-neptune loosely conjunct btw) it's the connection between people and how it's expressed that makes it special

no different than how you can hold someone's hand and it doesn't mean anything necessarily, but if you care about someone it does and you can feel them past the skin in ways you can't other people

marriage just isn't what gives a relationship meaning

as for sex that isn't that deep or meaningful, it's like anything else that's fun and feels good you do it you enjoyed it you move on, is there a "then what?" when you do anything else you enjoy? you either do it again or you don't

sex isn't the bond though, that exists without sex and having sex with people you dont connect to in that manner doesn't feel like sex with someone you do connect with

edit: the thing with waiting until marriage for sex is that generally comes with getting married quicker than someone else would, and a relationship isn't just like we're married this is commitment now everything is good forever lol they're work the entire length of them you don't just have a successful relationship and a deep spiritual bond because of the marriage itself and things fall apart without effort over the years if you fall into the trap of just taking the other person forgranted and ****

the divorce rate is high for a reason

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I know tantric sex is different from regular sex. I believe that’s why they put the word tantric in front of it. I couldn’t explain exactly say what it is I haven’t looked into it. I just know it’s different.

Im also aware that sex doesn’t create a bond on its own(in sone cases it does because they say sometimes people find it hard to let somebody go once they have been intimate with them) but that’s another thing. What I meant is Id prefer to be intimate with someone that I truly like rather than just for fun. Some people do it for fun and enjoyment and that’s fine. But In talking me personally. I would rather not have intercourse then.

posted May 06, 2019 06:26 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SoulOfABird:
I know tantric sex is different from regular sex. I believe that’s why they put the word tantric in front of it. I couldn’t explain exactly say what it is I haven’t looked into it. I just know it’s different.

Im also aware that sex doesn’t create a bond on its own(in sone cases it does because they say sometimes people find it hard to let somebody go once they have been intimate with them) but that’s another thing. What I meant is Id prefer to be intimate with someone that I truly like rather than just for fun. Some people do it for fun and enjoyment and that’s fine. But In talking me personally. I would rather not have intercourse then.

Same thing with the whole sex before marriage thing. A lot of people say it’s bad and people shouldn’t wait. Theres always two different views on everything. There are pros and cons. But like I mentioned for me, I just idealize and fantasize that idea rather than thinking it’s realistic. I really dont know. I haven’t looked much into it, I just know that in a perfect world that’s how Id like it to go, but it most likely won’t.

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i was referring to the way it's different not the words themselves, not knowing why is the equivalent to not really knowing and it's a matter of energy and connection that tantric sex focuses on that makes the difference (you can have that without tantric sex though if you study that sort of thing) without any real context the words are just words and near meaningless

some people get caught up in the idea of sex, but it doesn't create a bond on the level i'm talking about regardless deep connections are few and far between and sex isn't what creates them (they exist without it sex is away of expressing it)

i was pointing out that sex isn't in and of itself intimate, but i wasn't putting down your ideals only explaining that there's sex and then there's connection because you seemed confused by the separation there is for people (hence the questions) when it comes to sex

i know you're discussing your personal preferences though, that goes without reiterating, i was just explaining the other side of things and why marriage on its own isn't at all special and the divorce rate illustrates that so does the number of people in unhappy near sexless marriages

my point was when you keep the idea of sex on a pedestal as next level intimacy that can only happen after you allow the government into your relationship you're far more likely to marry earlier and during the part of the relationship where things are too fresh to see or have longterm issues

it's not bad if you get lucky, but it's odd to think that a ceremony equates with commtiment