posted May 05, 2019 12:47 AM            

I have the most difficult time expressing myself. And evem articulating how I feel. Im all over the place. My counselor tries to get things out of me. But I can’t. I dont feel comfortable.

I remember there being times where I thought to myself being around my family, feeling like does my family even understand me. I don’t know. It’s strange feeling.

Anyone know what I mean?
What placements make someone feel like this? Anyone else got a Pisces amd Aquarius chart and feel the same way?
Ive read Aquarius tend to feel like they are still alone even in a crowd of people. I don’t really have many conflicting aspects in my chart except venus square Mercury and Venus and mars opposite saturn.

posted May 05, 2019 02:23 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Bearee:
[b]"I cant ever be confident in what I think because I don’t ever know anything for sure. I always feel conflicted."

If you don't understand yourself, how can you expect others to understand you?[/B]

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That’s not the point Im trying to make. Well people constantly misunderstanding someone doesn’t really help them not have constant self doubt. So yeah partially me not understanding myself if also due to people misunderstanding me and causing me doubt myself.
Not saying they are wrong for misunderstanding me as I had mentioned in my op that I get that Im probably the just weird. Im guessing you didn’t read it all the way.
I dont “expect” anyone to understand me, it’s just would be nice if someone does. There’s a difference between expecting and wanting. But I don’t appreciate people being judgy or condescending because they dont understand someone.

That extra stuff I wrote was just a rant. I don’t expect anyone to know the answer to why I feel this way.

posted May 05, 2019 04:28 AM            

Honestly I felt ok being alone, as you explained. And I still do feel ok with it. It just feels natural. I don't wish to have those close friends that I can discuss everything with. That feeling was never there for me. Although I have to admit I sometimes wonder how that would feel like lol.

Anyway fast forward to now, I feel like I'm so different. I probably have my ex husband to thank lol since I guess I felt admired by him. (His Venus in Aquarius probably helped) Actually my married life changed me in so many ways.

Sometimes I feel like I'm overdoing it though I have to say, I feel a bit too arrogant sometimes and I feel like my past has built up walls around my feelings. So I very well know how to cover up my true feelings and have no issue acting confident and as if I'm the one to be listened to and everyone else's opinion is just secondary. And people always fall for it. For some reason lol. I still act introverted and there's no denying it. But it's very different, I have a rather confident aura. I don't feel like I'm odd or anything anymore. Thankfully so lol it was hell (in retrospect, didn't necessarily feel that way in the moment). I'm just feeling myself. Honestly I'll never forget that feeling I once lived with. I have a soft spot for such people now. I kinda feel like I get them, I guess since I was once there.

It still haunts me sometimes. It's not like my old self is gone. But I dunno it feels like I can bounce back easily and I know how to disconnect myself from it. But sometimes certain situations hit that spot for me and all my buried emotions are just right there, as if it was never gone. But the good part, I know how it feels to feel otherwise and I know how to act the part which in turn is received well and makes me feel ok again if that makes sense lol. Kind of like dressing well and feeling good as a result.

posted May 05, 2019 05:10 AM            

A good friend of mine has Sun in Aqua,Moon in Pisces,Mercury in Pisces,Venus in Aqua,Mars in Aqua. And he definitely feels this way.

As a Sag myself with both Neptune and Jupiter in aspect to Sun and Uranus in Sag,I can relate.I have my moments of "drifting".And the Scorpio planets do add a certain layer of closing others off(Pluto is secretive)

But all in all, I think in his case its far worse.He sometimes goes completely off the radar for weeks on end.I think its both Pisces abd Aqua that need the space?

We have a composite Venus/Mars conjunct in Sag tight orb at 24 Degrees conjunct.So I think we get along really well because of both our tendencies to "drift". Jupiter is the KING of drifters and the esoteric ruler of Aqua.

posted May 05, 2019 06:26 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
I have to say I totally relate. For most of my childhood (actually all of it) I felt precisely how you explained. Always felt like the odd one out. Alienated. I 'felt' my presence, not sure how to explain it. Like I never felt at ease just existing, I felt like I stuck out in some way. Literally sometimes I'd ask myself 'what is if I'm actually not ok and people just pretend that I am'. I'm thinking back now, I had serious issues. I never felt as part of the crowd. I hated befriending people cuz I'd always feel they were a fake.

Honestly I felt ok being alone, as you explained. And I still do feel ok with it. It just feels natural. I don't wish to have those close friends that I can discuss everything with. That feeling was never there for me. Although I have to admit I sometimes wonder how that would feel like lol.

Anyway fast forward to now, I feel like I'm so different. I probably have my ex husband to thank lol since I guess I felt admired by him. (His Venus in Aquarius probably helped) Actually my married life changed me in so many ways.

Sometimes I feel like I'm overdoing it though I have to say, I feel a bit too arrogant sometimes and I feel like my past has built up walls around my feelings. So I very well know how to cover up my true feelings and have no issue acting confident and as if I'm the one to be listened to and everyone else's opinion is just secondary. And people always fall for it. For some reason lol. I still act introverted and there's no denying it. But it's very different, I have a rather confident aura. I don't feel like I'm odd or anything anymore. Thankfully so lol it was hell (in retrospect, didn't necessarily feel that way in the moment). I'm just feeling myself. Honestly I'll never forget that feeling I once lived with. I have a soft spot for such people now. I kinda feel like I get them, I guess since I was once there.

It still haunts me sometimes. It's not like my old self is gone. But I dunno it feels like I can bounce back easily and I know how to disconnect myself from it. But sometimes certain situations hit that spot for me and all my buried emotions are just right there, as if it was never gone. But the good part, I know how it feels to feel otherwise and I know how to act the part which in turn is received well and makes me feel ok again if that makes sense lol. Kind of like dressing well and feeling good as a result.

(My Sun/Moon in my twelfth BTW)

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It is a sad unpleasant feeling indeed. Im glad to hear you could relate but not you’re better(: It’s interesting how youve dealt with it. I think I can see how your relationship probably helped. It’s nice that you found somebody like that who can make you not feel like an outcast. Actually it’s funny because I have often thought of the type of man I wanted to be with, and one of my top ideals are a guy who understands me. I feel like who better to understand you than your significant other. I think it’s quite important. And maybe not everyone can find that. Maybe one day I can find a guy that understands me, like you were able to.
I sometimes think that I should act like a bad bish and not care lol but it’s hard. Not everyone can play up confidence so well!
What sign is your sun and moon in? My moon is also in the 12th house

posted May 05, 2019 06:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Pisces?Aquarius?12th or 11th? Yes to all.

A good friend of mine has Sun in Aqua,Moon in Pisces,Mercury in Pisces,Venus in Aqua,Mars in Aqua. And he definitely feels this way.

As a Sag myself with both Neptune and Jupiter in aspect to Sun and Uranus in Sag,I can relate.I have my moments of "drifting".And the Scorpio planets do add a certain layer of closing others off(Pluto is secretive)

But all in all, I think in his case its far worse.He sometimes goes completely off the radar for weeks on end.I think its both Pisces abd Aqua that need the space?

We have a composite Venus/Mars conjunct in Sag tight orb at 24 Degrees conjunct.So I think we get along really well because of both our tendencies to "drift". Jupiter is the KING of drifters and the esoteric ruler of Aqua.

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That’s very interesting to hear. Your friend has a lot of Pisces and Aquarius placements like myself. I drift away a lot like you guys do, very often too. Even in just everyday social gatherings I take off to hang out in my room alone for a bit lol and everybody ends up wondering where I went and why I left. But especially when Im feeling sad or bothered. I have the tendency to go off the radar.
What sign is your moon in? Do you also have any 12th house placements?

posted May 05, 2019 12:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SoulOfABird:
That’s very interesting to hear. Your friend has a lot of Pisces and Aquarius placements like myself. I drift away a lot like you guys do, very often too. Even in just everyday social gatherings I take off to hang out in my room alone for a bit lol and everybody ends up wondering where I went and why I left. But especially when Im feeling sad or bothered. I have the tendency to go off the radar.
What sign is your moon in? Do you also have any 12th house placements?

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I don't think its anything you should feel ashamed of or 'explain' yourself with. It is a coping mechanism that you initiate when needed (and that's okay).

In such intances with my friend,I never ask where he "went" or drifted off to? I know its a part of his nature to be that way. His Saturn is in Libra which also explains the "limiting" of relationships or someone feeling burdened by too much social contact and/or activity.

I always think the failure to connect with a country is an opportunity to connect with the world. In other words, ones social circle could be too small(if they fail to find resonance with it).

And perhaps the bigger global earth is their wider "friend"? As Pisces vibrates to Jupiter which is globalization. And Aquarius vibrates to Uranus which rules chat groups and friends online(Internet).

To answer your question: I have no Pisces/12th house placements.

Jupiter does however vibrate with the 12th house /Pisces. But in my case its in fiery Sag. So instead of looking within for counsel or clarity(Pisces) I go outside and read/share ideas with others(Sag).

Jupiter in Sag natally forms an inconjunct aspect to the Ic in Cancer.And this is the placement which would have me feel some dissonance in relating to my immediate family or identifying with them. But I do identify with the larger world and its people(Jupiter).

posted May 05, 2019 01:21 PM            

I am weird, I am eccentric but I am also good at hiding this and adapting to who I am hanging out with at the moment.

I wish I was not an independent thinker.

I wish I was like most people who go off to college and are completely indoctrinated by the biased education they receive and go on to be "well adjusted" members of society who don't question anything and just believe the narrative they are told without considering the other side or other perspectives, as their ego is too wrapped up to their ideology. All this while feeling superior because they are under the impression they received a wonderful education. I am the one that can see value in opposing views which is the only real way of been objective about anything and is the true spirit behind critical thinking.

posted May 05, 2019 03:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SoulOfABird:
It is a sad unpleasant feeling indeed. Im glad to hear you could relate but not you’re better(: It’s interesting how youve dealt with it. I think I can see how your relationship probably helped. It’s nice that you found somebody like that who can make you not feel like an outcast. Actually it’s funny because I have often thought of the type of man I wanted to be with, and one of my top ideals are a guy who understands me. I feel like who better to understand you than your significant other. I think it’s quite important. And maybe not everyone can find that. Maybe one day I can find a guy that understands me, like you were able to.
I sometimes think that I should act like a bad bish and not care lol but it’s hard. Not everyone can play up confidence so well!
What sign is your sun and moon in? My moon is also in the 12th house

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I think my ex husband was the guy that I needed in my life at that time. I didn't realize it cuz it's not that I felt I needed it. Only after everything... Like now that I'm thinking back and like d@mn I wouldn't be where I am today if I wouldn't have had him in my life. And it's funny cuz the people you need in your life aren't always those that you want for your future. In my case it's really someone I couldn't live long term with. But he filled the gaps that needed some evening out lol. He was certainly Heaven sent.

I don't think acting like a bad ***** is the solution lol. It needs to come from within the confidence. I wish I can guide you. But honestly I don't even know how to achieve it. I just feel lucky to be honest. But I think you need to pick up small pieces of confidence. Like even Astrology could help. Read something that makes you feel good about yourself. For example, people not understanding you... Reverse your thinking. Instead of you believing that your thoughts aren't clearly defined, think of them as being so out of the box that people simply don't have the capacity to grasp. And honestly that's probably the case anyway. Although you may not believe it now.

It's more about shifting your thinking and opinion of yourself. You need to think positively of yourself even if in the beginning it feels made up. You'll eventually believe it to a point where you'll think that you're the s*** lol. I mean it.