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Author Topic:   Why do people say I appear cold & icy?
Hikaru29
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From: Asia
Registered: Nov 2018

posted May 29, 2019 02:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know I'm slow to warm up and I can be quiet at times, but I wonder why I often get comments that I'm "icy" and "aloof"? This seems more of a Scorpio rising trait(?) but I'm a Gemini rising and I don't have any personal planets in Scorpio or anything in 8H (other than PoF).

Any other signs/aspects/house placements that may indicate this?

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Franco
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From: Santiago
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posted May 29, 2019 07:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Franco     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

What about your saturn / capricorn? your moon? planets at home 12? there are many indications that a person is cold, there are even aspects that give these characteristics, you should share your natal chart so that we know where it comes from!

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Melinn
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posted May 29, 2019 07:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Melinn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I seem cold at first aswell. Or cold or reserved or shy, depending on how the other person reads your vibe!

I have virgo rising saturn decane. I can detect virgo risings and suns instantly.

Saturn is square my asc amongst many other planets aspecting my asc.

Saturn aspecting moon can also give of a mature vibe some can read as cold.

Then my aries and gemini stelliums comes out to play IF I decide I like the other person/persons vibe and people will get very surpriced. If I decide I don't like someones vibe, I will act reserved.

I prefer this over people seeming warm at first but turns out they are cold

If you won't post your natal, look at the planets aspecting your asc, look at the vider orbs aswell. Look at your asc decan and both decan and asc rulers. And your moon, play with vider orbs to see if there is a missing link. Also look at your moon... chiron, uranus etc

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ScandinavianCrab
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posted May 29, 2019 09:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScandinavianCrab     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
People that i understand can be perceived as cold often have either Sun/Moon/Mars in tight aspects with Saturn or the same planets in Capricorn.

I know a fair amount of people with ascendant in cap but no other particular aspects or positions that i mentioned above, and in my opinion none of them come off as cold as I understand a Cap moon could.

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Melinn
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posted May 29, 2019 09:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Melinn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ScandinavianCrab:
People that i understand can be perceived as cold often have either Sun/Moon/Mars in tight aspects with Saturn or the same planets in Capricorn.

I know a fair amount of people with ascendant in cap but no other particular aspects or positions that i mentioned above, and in my opinion none of them come off as cold as I understand a Cap moon could.


Why pointing out one aspect and one planet and sign? When astrology is dynamic and complex? We need to see things in bigger picture, how things corelate etc.

Giving one aspect and planet the whole role of "cold vibe" is not correlate astrology.

Uranus can be perceived a cold one aswell. Scorpio and pluto can give of that vibe aswell. Plus many other factors. Writing off for ex saturn-moon-mars and cap as "cold" is to beg for people popping up at astrology sites blaming only saturn for their cold "vibes". Just as people popping up here about just one specific sign or aspect being cheaters and whatnot, just saying..

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mirage29
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posted May 29, 2019 12:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Saturn (natal or transiting) .. in difficult aspect with Venus.

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MoonMystic
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From: 🦋 Over.the.Moon 🦋
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posted May 29, 2019 12:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

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ScandinavianCrab
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From: Scandinavia
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posted May 29, 2019 02:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScandinavianCrab     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Melinn:
Why pointing out one aspect and one planet and sign? When astrology is dynamic and complex? We need to see things in bigger picture, how things corelate etc.

Giving one aspect and planet the whole role of "cold vibe" is not correlate astrology.

Uranus can be perceived a cold one aswell. Scorpio and pluto can give of that vibe aswell. Plus many other factors. Writing off for ex saturn-moon-mars and cap as "cold" is to beg for people popping up at astrology sites blaming only saturn for their cold "vibes". Just as people popping up here about just one specific sign or aspect being cheaters and whatnot, just saying..


You are absolutely right!

I tried to write it as "objectively" as i could but it seems i failed with the message

It should be pointed out that i write from the perspective of a Cancer, that is the opposite sign of Capricorn, so my opinion will be biased.

I have my IC in Capricorn, and i do in fact most often feel very comfortable in the company of Capricorn suns, moons as well as Mars(es). And i know they aren't cold or empty of emotions.

When i marry i know it will be with a Saturnian (insert whatever position or aspect you want) woman.
Who, if i'd ever let her down, would rather destroy me with a cold carefully constructed evil plan, instead of a tsunami of uncontrolled emotions (yeah Crab-Leo, no wedding for you)

We celebrate Ascension Day tomorrow = no work, so sorry for the rant but i've had a few glasses of wine.

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mirage29
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posted May 29, 2019 03:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Hikaru29
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posted May 30, 2019 09:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ah... so many possibilities. 🤨

@Melinn,
I do have Saturn aspects (sextile Sun/Mercury, trine Mars, c-parallel Moon) but I'm not sure if this is the reason because my friend has Saturn conjunct Venus/Mars, sextile Mercury and no one has ever said she's cold. In fact, people's impression of her is always "warm", "nice", "friendly".

I've Gemini Asc with Mercury Decan. I've Pluto trine Asc, Jupiter sextile Asc, Mars square Asc, SN conjunct Asc, Neptune opp Asc.

Sag Moon in 7H conjunct Neptune, opposite Gemini Venus 1H, square Pisces Mars 10H, trine Aries Jupiter/Chiron/Psyche 11H, quintile Libra Pluto 5H & MC.

Scorpio Uranus in 5H opposite Sun in 12H. Why would Uranus give a cold vibe anyway?


@MoonMystic,
I've Taurus Sun in 12H. Pisces Mars in 10H.


@ScandinavianCrab,
Are you attracted to your IC sign instead of Dsc sign? I've IC in Virgo and I find myself surrounded by them. In my last job I was surprised to find out that all 3 of my bosses were Virgos and the colleague sitting next to me is also one. On the other hand, I may not necessarily get along with Sag Sun (there's always tension) but with Sag Moon, ok.

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ScandinavianCrab
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Posts: 252
From: Scandinavia
Registered: Aug 2013

posted May 30, 2019 03:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScandinavianCrab     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:

@ScandinavianCrab,
Are you attracted to your IC sign instead of Dsc sign? I've IC in Virgo and I find myself surrounded by them. In my last job I was surprised to find out that all 3 of my bosses were Virgos and the colleague sitting next to me is also one. On the other hand, I may not necessarily get along with Sag Sun (there's always tension) but with Sag Moon, ok.

I think that my IC falls in Capricorn is just one piece of the puzzle.

Opposites attracts, and i, my sun, naturally enjoy the predictability and reliability of the typical Capricornian traits. I have my sun and Mercury loosely conjunct MC (6-8 degrees) and i guess that adds to the mixture as well.

I do also have plenty of air, positions and aspects, in my chart so while a earth-heavy person would maybe find me a bit annoying i would eventually be bored with things becoming a bit too predictable.

I am attracted to strong-willed and fiery women, but my Ascendant/Pluto-conjunction in Libra trine Venus craves a relationship with a balance of "power".
I have never wanted a submissive type of woman, and nor do i want to become a passive "toy-husband".


I read from time to time people who claims the 7th represents the 1st marriage and the 9th and/or the 11th the 2nd marriage.
And while i don't have many things to back this up with myself i can say that i spent 10 years with a Aries-woman, and i do like to think that if/when i meet someone i want to spend the rest of my life with it will be someone who somehow fits the blend of my 9th and 11th (air and earth) rather than my 7th.

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Kannon McAfee
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From: Portland, OR - USA
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posted May 30, 2019 05:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kannon McAfee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
... I've Gemini Asc with ... Neptune opp Asc...

There you go.

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AriesLilith
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posted May 31, 2019 02:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AriesLilith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Melinn:
I seem cold at first aswell. Or cold or reserved or shy, depending on how the other person reads your vibe!

I have virgo rising saturn decane. I can detect virgo risings and suns instantly.

Saturn is square my asc amongst many other planets aspecting my asc.

Saturn aspecting moon can also give of a mature vibe some can read as cold.

Then my aries and gemini stelliums comes out to play IF I decide I like the other person/persons vibe and people will get very surpriced. If I decide I don't like someones vibe, I will act reserved.

I prefer this over people seeming warm at first but turns out they are cold

If you won't post your natal, look at the planets aspecting your asc, look at the vider orbs aswell. Look at your asc decan and both decan and asc rulers. And your moon, play with vider orbs to see if there is a missing link. Also look at your moon... chiron, uranus etc


Virgo AC with Saturn square and an Aries stellium here. Yep, I look cold, reserved and distant until we grt along and my Aries gets out.

Everyone around seems to get along like old buddies so fast. I need extra effort to do so, and people tend to perceive me as distant.

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Hikaru29
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Posts: 1648
From: Asia
Registered: Nov 2018

posted May 31, 2019 02:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
There you go.


Why would this show coldness?

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Hikaru29
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Posts: 1648
From: Asia
Registered: Nov 2018

posted May 31, 2019 03:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ScandinavianCrab:
I think that my IC falls in Capricorn is just one piece of the puzzle.

Opposites attracts, and i, my sun, naturally enjoy the predictability and reliability of the typical Capricornian traits. I have my sun and Mercury loosely conjunct MC (6-8 degrees) and i guess that adds to the mixture as well.

I do also have plenty of air, positions and aspects, in my chart so while a earth-heavy person would maybe find me a bit annoying i would eventually be bored with things becoming a bit too predictable.

I am attracted to strong-willed and fiery women, but my Ascendant/Pluto-conjunction in Libra trine Venus craves a relationship with a balance of "power".
I have never wanted a submissive type of woman, and nor do i want to become a passive "toy-husband".


I read from time to time people who claims the 7th represents the 1st marriage and the 9th and/or the 11th the 2nd marriage.
And while i don't have many things to back this up with myself i can say that i spent 10 years with a Aries-woman, and i do like to think that if/when i meet someone i want to spend the rest of my life with it will be someone who somehow fits the blend of my 9th and 11th (air and earth) rather than my 7th.


My first bf is a Sag Sun but our relationship only lasted a few months. And even though his Sun also conjunct my NN, I never felt he was conducive to my growth. In fact, my life was hell with him... he was always the boss and I was the follower and he was always displeased with me. When we broke up he said it was all my fault so I'm still puzzled as to why our connection was so bad although he matched my 7H and NN.

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Lalafortunaea
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posted May 31, 2019 09:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lalafortunaea     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
People who tend to be more objective, or have a higher IQ, or simply don't allow all of their decisions to be completely emotionally driven will often get the "you seem cold" comment.


Side note~ there is also, sadly, an unconscious belief or fear among people that makes them equate intelligence with being "bad" or cold-hearted.


Air signs are very cerebral by nature, so, not always completely controlled by their emotions. The brainier one is, the more likely one is to appear icy. It is not necessarily a bad thing.

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Hikaru29
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Posts: 1648
From: Asia
Registered: Nov 2018

posted June 01, 2019 02:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lalafortunaea:
People who tend to be more objective, or have a higher IQ, or simply don't allow all of their decisions to be completely emotionally driven will often get the "you seem cold" comment.


Side note~ there is also, sadly, an unconscious belief or fear among people that makes them equate intelligence with being "bad" or cold-hearted.


Air signs are very cerebral by nature, so, not always completely controlled by their emotions. The brainier one is, the more likely one is to appear icy. It is not necessarily a bad thing.


I have more fire in my chart actually, followed by air. I don't find myself particular intelligent and I've a serious nature. I can joke/laugh and some people find me incredibly funny but I'm absolutely turned off by people who are lame, have low EQ and scattered (they zap my energies) so when they're around, I become serious and quiet. Sometimes I can also appear to be uninterested in anything and anyone. I think my 12H planets aspecting Saturn may have made me appear cold.

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