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Author
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Topic: My son's chart worries me
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Dons2angelss
Knowflake Posts: 413
From: Virginia, US
Registered: Jan 2019
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posted July 25, 2019 12:04 AM
  
I've posted on here before about my son's chart and I'm becoming more worried as he gets older. To the point I've thought about putting him in therapy. He hold in ALL of his emotions and when they do finally come out, he'll completely deny them. He can have tears rolling down his face and be adament that he's not crying. Obviously, his moon conjunct Saturn in virgo is a dousy when it comes to emotions but his sun square Pluto and Mars is starting to show too. They all three form a t-square including his Midheaven and IC. He is a very sweet kid 99% of the time, sarcastic af and argumentative but overall he's a charmer. What's starting to worry me is his anger. He hold it in until he absolutely explodes. He actually charged at me one day when he got mad. He was being picked on one day and held it in until he got home and buried his head in a pillow and screamed his anger away. He will NOT defend his self at all. He'll just let anyone say or do anything to him and he'll let his anger and hurt build until he snaps. I've tried everything I can think of to help him but I'm at a loss now and afraid it's going to get worse as he gets older. What can I do to help him handle these aspects and use them to his advantage?
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hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 11890
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted July 25, 2019 02:21 PM
I would seek out family therapy. I would do about half an hour so you receive parenting support around these issues you are concerned with and then half an hour for a family session were you can do activities as a family were he gets to practice identifying different emotions he has felt this past week doing fun activities. He would benefit from sand tray play therapy so you can do that and go straight to someone who specializes in that type of therapy, he could act out the anger via play therapy using the sand tray.IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 11890
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted July 25, 2019 02:24 PM
Essentially you will need to start very basic, just having him do activities that normalize different emotions and help him hone the skill of identifying his emotions through therapy and your parenting. As well as some sand tray activities to help him act out in a healthy way the anger he is feeling through play therapy.IP: Logged |
kirki
Knowflake Posts: 480
From:
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted July 25, 2019 03:15 PM
Does he like art ,or acting in theater or something like that?i think that would help him make his selfesteem stronger.IP: Logged |
Aries23Degrees
Knowflake Posts: 7501
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted July 25, 2019 03:25 PM
I will keep it brief.Just a couple of pages  I have great sympathy for your son. I see a lot of myself in him. I grew up an angry,angry child and couldn't understand why I was so angry? With Mars right at the top of the chart, your son has realizations to be found in the expression of self assertion. Mars in Cancer is assertiveness(Mars) in nurturing (Cancer) and when right at the top of the chart, there is spiritual ideals to be realized through(it will sound weird) aggression,violence or confrontation. Being a boy, being a man and learning skills of positive expression of masculinity will be something pivotal for him. And the father/older brother/uncle(same sex role model) is key in this. He is sensitive. And he may grow to resent his sensitive nature due to it being perceived by others outside of him as "girly" or "weak". The installation of self-affirming acceptance and love of self "as is", should begin as early as possible from this grassroot level. Now now now. I would recommend labour intensive chores or ones that give him a firm routine. If therapy should intervene, it should be done within an environment that strongly factors in physical exercise. I used to watch this show called "World's strictest parents" and the parents there integrated discipline and self-control in the "adopted" children that they tried to steer in the right direction. Routine, physical exercise, structure & lots of affection do help to foster much needed self-esteem into children/teens. Mars is very "action" oriented & can get agitated easily. And since I am also seeing Pluto opposing it from the Ic, there is likely to be a lot of tension(Pluto) that he feels is brought into the home. Or he feels particularly tense when idle at home. I often think that people with Mars/Pluto on the Ic or aspecting it, need to stay active at home(note that he also has Mars in Cancer). If they don't, they irritate those around them and can be very difficult to live with. Pluto is Mars on steroids. Can you see how this plays out? Temper tantrums are extreme and the child is thrown into anger by seemingly "minor" things at home. The sensitivity I spoke of earlier is not so much the type that is about to paint a picture or write a song etc. Pluto /Mars on Sun suggests a feeling of an open wound with the self(Sun). So this leads to self criticism, self anger and feelings of being "disempowered". This manifests itself with the bullying(Mars/Pluto) that he experiences.And also echoing this wounded or troubled ego is Sun in 6th conjunct Dsc. There is a feeling of being "inept" and not confident in the self. Others sense that and take advantage of this lack of confidence(Sun conjuncts Dsc) and can be "domineering" (Sun) on him. Especially since Aries is the 7th house cusp. Look at that Chiron/Neptune conjunction in Aqua: the pain of feeling socially awkward or unacceptable to your peers(Aqua). Social environments(5th) can be painful(Chiron) and the native can feel like they are invisible or that they can just "disappear"(Neptune) With Chiron/Neptune conjunct in 5th(Typically ruled by the Sun) and with all the other placements i.e Sun in 6th, Sun square Mars,Sun square Pluto, Pluto conjunct Ic,Jupiter in the 4th and Sun being the apex planet of the Pluto/Mars/Sun T-square, I have to ask : How is the relationship with the father? Are there issues there or some type of estrangement? Saturn(authority figures) is also conjunct Moon(feeling unsupported), Saturn opp Mercury( possible social inadequacy),Saturn opp Venus(feeling unloved or unimportant), Saturn sextile Mars(challenges in self- expression). Enrol him in something physical and surround him with a trusted same sex figure who will nurture this anger towards a more productive outlet. Accomplished athletes usually have Mars/Pluto in aspect natally. So this is immense drive and energy that needs an outlet A.S.A.P. At worst however, Mars/Pluto are also law and order breakers. As Mars is a knife that can be used either to cut bread or cut a man. Its all in the intention behind it. I am not trying to scare you with all this.I am just stating that Mars/Pluto are powerful. And with much power comes great responsibility. The drive must be used to create and transform instead of self-harm. My Dad has Mars/Pluto conjunct. It was of no benefit to us. My father was an extremely tense and intimidating person to us(his kids). He was very much a bully.  Like your Son, Mars is on the angles. But mine is conjunct the 7th. And so I experienced bullying too.Neptune conjuncts the ruler of the 5th. IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 11890
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted July 25, 2019 04:00 PM
Love "I often think that people with Mars/Pluto on the Ic or aspecting it, need to stay active at home(note that he also has Mars in Cancer). If they don't, they irritate those around them and can be very difficult to live with."I also wonder if he feels overprotected by her and that irritates him..but the idea of nourishing goats or some kind of farm animals and having to take care of farm animals might be helpful. Equine therapy is also an option. IP: Logged |
Dons2angelss
Knowflake Posts: 413
From: Virginia, US
Registered: Jan 2019
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posted July 25, 2019 04:07 PM
Thank you for the insight. His biological father left before he was born and he's been raised by my now current ex (he was 1 year old when we got together and he adopted him) they have a great relationship and he's supportive of him.My son never, NEVER threw a temper tantrum as a young child. Never showed anger until now. He was absolutely the sweetest, most polite child I'd ever seen and was constantly considerate. The past year his dad and I both are just like.... Wtf is going on? But it's literally like pulling teeth to get him to talk about literally anything on a deeper emotional level. He refuses to open up even to us. He loves theatre. Always wants to be on stage and has an interest in sports but, he has severe dysgraphia. It's basically where his brain doesn't relay messages to his body and it causes problems with his handwriting, throwing a ball, running, or any kind of physical activity. We support anything he wants to try but he has a lot of obstacles to overcome when it comes to things like that and he turns inward to self hate, but will not show us that's what he's feeling. With so many negative aspects in his chart it kind of blew me away at how well he actually does handle it. Until now at least, he's going into middle school and we all know how middle schoolers can be.
Here is our synastry, I truly don't think he feels unloved. I also have Saturn opposite Venus in my natal and I truly was unloved by my mother so I've made it a point to always breathe life and love into my son. He's just turned into a fort knox and full of fear. His fear of everything also keeps him from experiencing life in general. He was 3 years old and telling me how dangerous it was to ride a skateboard because he might break his neck lol. 
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Dons2angelss
Knowflake Posts: 413
From: Virginia, US
Registered: Jan 2019
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posted July 25, 2019 04:10 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hypatia238:
Love "I often think that people with Mars/Pluto on the Ic or aspecting it, need to stay active at home(note that he also has Mars in Cancer). If they don't, they irritate those around them and can be very difficult to live with."I also wonder if he feels overprotected by her and that irritates him..but the idea of nourishing goats or some kind of farm animals and having to take care of farm animals might be helpful. Equine therapy is also an option.
He LOVES animals and we foster kittens but he's terrified of larger animals. I've tried that lol. I don't think I'm overprotective but, like any mom I'd say, "don't do that or you could get hurt" and he'd take it literally and apply it to everything. I didn't realize that by telling him, for instance, if you run out in the road you could get him by a car, would scar him. Ya know? IP: Logged |
Aries23Degrees
Knowflake Posts: 7501
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted July 25, 2019 04:33 PM
Solar Arc Uranus is conjunct the Sun right now and thus squares Pluto and Mars. I think this could be indicative of the sudden outbursts(Uranus).If he loves theatre.Lets go that direction then and have that energy released there. For a couple of years Solar Arc Uranus will square Mars and reach its peak in 2024/2025. More erratic and unpredictable behaviour. Neptune in 5th does suggest an estrangement with the father, not knowing the biological father(like me) or being adopted by a stepfather. Was his biological father very Pisces-like? It also suggests mental development impairments that may grow to frustrate him(Chiron conj Neptune). 5th house deals with the developmental phases of youth & early induction to education. On the other hand, Neptune in 5th is also gifted children. As Neptune has a way of shapeshifting that which was once considered an "impairment" and turning it into empowerment. I understand your protectiveness as a parent. This especially when he is starting a new phase in his schooling career and all these sudden issues popping up now . I am weary to underestimate him as children are very resilient. Keep the communication doors open. But I still encourage something physical-even if in a protected environment. He could benefit from that a lot. I love that you are so involved with him. Neptune kids are often times ignored 
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Condoowit
Knowflake Posts: 108
From:
Registered: Apr 2014
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posted July 26, 2019 08:03 PM
I sympathize with your concern for your son, as a mom. I, too, worry a bit about certain characteristics of my son’s personality, like his sarcasm and habit of pointing out what everyone else is doing wrong. I have nothing to add in terms of astrology, but I wanted to let you know about Angelic Reiki, as I am a practitioner and master teacher. Look into it, if it’s something you might consider. If your son is a minor, then by our rules you could give consent on his behalf for a distance session to be done for him. A bunch of us have websites which explain the modality. I, personally, have seen some great success stories. The angelic energy that is transmitted in a session is incomparable to anything else in terms of healing emotional blockages, IMHO. IP: Logged |
Kannon McAfee
Moderator Posts: 3939
From: Portland, OR - USA
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted July 27, 2019 05:28 PM
This isn't a mystery. He's a male entering adolescence. The harder you push him for anything the worse you'll make it. Open the door to what he loves and encourage him in it. Wait until anger or problems happen in that arena of activity then address it with therapeutic tools so that he understands he'll need to find some balance and let some pressure off the emotional pressure cooker he's carrying around. This way the motivation is built-in rather than parents dragging him into therapy with their agenda and without his own personally defined reward (what he enjoys most). At most, it sounds to me like you might be able to get a male he respects to talk to him when he's in a context like animals (about how he feels about himself when he explodes with anger) and let a relationship of trust and mutual respect develop. He's unlikely to divulge or engage in therapy with someone he does not respect while being simultaneously allowed to do something physical (earth/Virgo) he enjoys. Everything comes back to Moon in Virgo conjunct Saturn. However, with Uranus making a trine to both of them it is a good time for something therapeutic. You could also tell him to write -- and promise him he can write down whatever he's feeling in a diary and you will NEVER EVER snoop and read it. If you make that promise you have to mean it and keep it, no matter what. ------------------
Soul Stars Astrology by The Declinations Guy
Expert birth chart rectification IP: Logged |
Bismarck2
Knowflake Posts: 367
From:
Registered: Mar 2019
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posted July 27, 2019 06:48 PM
Put him in a sport, or martial arts. IP: Logged |
Aries Eagle
Moderator Posts: 1624
From: Λ Ἄρης Λ
Registered: Jan 2013
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posted July 27, 2019 07:15 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Bismarck2:
Put him in a sport, or martial arts.
👍👍 Of his choice of course.
If you go the therapy route never let them convince you to prescribe him pills. IP: Logged |
Dons2angelss
Knowflake Posts: 413
From: Virginia, US
Registered: Jan 2019
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posted July 27, 2019 09:12 PM
We would not allow any kinds of medication. We did have him in karate for a few years until he wanted to stop, we didn't push him to stay. He wants to try a lot of things and we're supportive of anything he wants.
I'm definitely going to look into the reiki and the diary is a good idea. Thank you everyone for your help! IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 11890
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted July 27, 2019 10:10 PM
Medication can help even if is natural. I am a therapist and I take:Gaba
5htp
Sam-E and this combo has done wonders for maintaining my mood!! Coping skills are great and very important too but if your brain and hormones have a tendency to get off balance taking some natural medication can do wonders for your mood. I give Gaba and 5HTP daily to my partner who has anger issues and it makes a huge difference actually (he has mars in scorpio conjunct uranus right on the DC and can be explosive). You say that your son has dysgraphia it would not surprise me at all if he would benefit from certain supplements and amino acids! and I am not just talking about vitamins. I also take vitamins: vitamin D, zinc, calcium and magnesium daily and manuka honey. In this sense I am very much a Virgo, I believe strongly in the power of natural remedies, herbs, supplements and vitamins in helping the mind and body. IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 11890
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted July 27, 2019 10:19 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
This isn't a mystery. He's a male entering adolescence.
Bingo. I thought you were talking about a 5 year old, not a kid entering adolescent. Lets just start by the fact that his body is changing like crazy and his hormones are out of whack and his cognitive development is entering the final stage were he starts to see the world the way it really is and think critically. This often results in disillusionment and a negativity bias which can take years to balance out. For a while he may only see the bad (now that he can do deductive reasoning and think critically but in combo with the black and white cognitive bias humans suffer from and are more prone to during adolescence) which can result in depression or anger issues. IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 11890
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted July 27, 2019 10:38 PM
All that been said, if he doesn't want to see a therapist, don't make him see one as he will have a negative experience and only remember been forced to see a therapist and never want to return in the future as an adult, not to mention you will be wasting his time and the therapist time bc if he is not open to therapy it will not help him at all.This been said don't put him on medication unless he asks for it but I encourage natural remedies. I say this bc if a teenager tells me they want medication I take that very seriously bc is extremely rare for a teenager to want to be medicated so if they say they want medication that says a lot and should be taken seriously!! IP: Logged |
AriesLilith
Knowflake Posts: 743
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted July 28, 2019 01:10 PM
I also have a tsquare involving Pluto and Mars oppositions, in 3rd and 9th houses, but squared to Jupiter. On the positive side it has sextiles and trines from AC and Neptune which I felt showed the positive outlets.
In your son’s chart the opposition is squared to Sun but with sextiles and trines so this opposition can have positive oultets.
I’m also tempted to say that martial arts can help, but with dysgraphia he can have difficulties at first? You might want to pick places for him carefully, as martial arts in a healthy enviroment promotes emotional management learning but in bad places ir’s just compeitiveness or bullying.
Martial arts is a lot about learning how to manage our emotions and mind, it helps us build confidence and assrtivity as well as cooperativeness.IP: Logged |
Spica
Knowflake Posts: 1475
From: Canada
Registered: Jul 2015
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posted July 28, 2019 11:29 PM
According to me his chart is not bad. But I would need to read it more in depth and I can't read the astro.com version. I read the astrotheme.com format. I could do a detailed reading on him. I apply techniques of babylonian, esoteric, medieval and vedic astrology.------------------
Spica Astrology Astrologer IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 114654
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 31, 2019 09:30 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Dons2angelss
Knowflake Posts: 413
From: Virginia, US
Registered: Jan 2019
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posted July 31, 2019 10:02 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Spica:
According to me his chart is not bad. But I would need to read it more in depth and I can't read the astro.com version. I read the astrotheme.com format. I could do a detailed reading on him. I apply techniques of babylonian, esoteric, medieval and vedic astrology.
Thank you, that'd be awesome. His info is 3/19/08 Williamsburg, VA 7:47pm
We had him in martial arts for a few years but he decided he didn't want to stick with it. IP: Logged |
SoulOfABird
Knowflake Posts: 745
From: California
Registered: Sep 2017
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posted August 01, 2019 01:42 AM
Give him love and understanding. Try to be patient with him but not too pushy. If that doesn’t work maybe seek counseling for him. Im a Pisces myself. Sun, mercury, and venus there as well like your son , also he has his moon in the 11th house (of Aquarius), I have my moon in Aquarius, and I can remember how I was as a kid. Kindness and understanding, no judgemental approach worked best for me. Your son might outgrow this. When I was younger I had some unhealthy traits that Ive outgrown. I used to steal anything that I wanted. Especially if it was glittery or shiny. I wanted it and had to have it. I won’t ever steal now in fact I really dislike it, I totally outgrew that once I got older, like around age 10. I also would throw tantrums and was pretty self destructive. For some reason I would do things that I knew would make me feel bad about later just to make myself sad. I would scratch my friends when I didn’t get my way. And alot of times that ruined my friendships. I would hit other kids often when I didn’t get my way. Even guys. Im ashamed I was like this. Those were probably enough reasons to get my parents to worry about me. But even though I was like that I still cared a lot, like your son. I was very emotional but hid it from people. Like I would cry in secluded areas, I would cry at night when everyone was asleep. I easily felt alone and easily pittied myself. Unhealthy traits.
But these things went away with age. It might for him too. Your son probably has a lot going on. I can imagine how he feels. If putting myself in his shoes I think the best thing to do is show you are not judging him and be gentle. I think Pisces easily are hurt when people are abrasive with them. It distances them from others even more, if he’s anything like I was as a kid. But if you give him time, it might change because he’s still growing and maturing. If it starts getting worse than you should worry more. A deeper issue might be the problem so I think in instances like this, counseling can’t hurt.
Sorry Im still pretty young and don’t have experience with kids but I thought if I give advice from my perspective when I was young, having the same Sun, Mercury, and Venus as your son maybe this could help. Best of luck ------------------
I appreciate the masterpiece that is you, because your existence alone is art IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 73224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 01, 2019 09:02 AM
You prolly need asteroids to really see what is going on.------------------
Want to Read Simple, Fun,Sexy Articles on Astrology? Check Me Out, DUDE.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Dons2angelss
Knowflake Posts: 413
From: Virginia, US
Registered: Jan 2019
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posted August 01, 2019 10:24 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
You prolly need asteroids to really see what is going on.
Which ones? IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 73224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 01, 2019 01:13 PM
Well there are so many. I wish I could do them all for you. I do know that you will find your answer if you look at the chart enough. There could be Aphophis conjunct something. That is very hard. Don't despair. You can find answers!------------------
Want to Read Simple, Fun,Sexy Articles on Astrology? Check Me Out, DUDE.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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