posted August 01, 2019 03:07 PM            

I am attesting:
1. I work for corporation. Never worked as freelancer ( 2nd house Ruler is Saturn)
2. I became a mother at 40, after difficult pregnancy and dramatic birth (TG: Everything turn out good from this ordeal)
3. Hard working.
4. oh... all of my significant relationships were with Sag Men , lol
5. Never won anything in any contests . Not even a free beer .... I hope it will change soon

Anybody with these aspects? your experiences?

posted August 01, 2019 08:23 PM            

What kind of corporation do you work for?
Are they (in their product or service) involved with anything that serves a higher World Cause?
(I know your profession, as you shared that in the Dream forum. You do NOT have to share anything about their product if you don't feel comfortable. Totally understandable, re privacy and identity concerns.)
And I know you work your BUTT off-- yes definitely, hardworking.

For reflection-purposes.
Do you think it would please you (or ignite any kind of passion) if you thought about joining a professional association, foundation, organization group or network, that stood for a Greater Cause, in a pragmatic yet progressive way?

posted August 02, 2019 06:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Still_Hopeful:
@Aries, The same all my life I had self esteem issue, much more pronounced when I was younger (not smart enough, not pretty enough not talented enough) Plus I came from a family of overachievers. -- no rest for the wicked Thankfully, I reconciled some of my "cockroaches" in my head

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2nd house is SUPER important as it is the house of self esteem and values and is(ironically) undervalued or underrepresented in discussions.

How we hold ourselves up i.e "keep your head up" is what governs the 2nd house. And don't you think it fitting that it is the neck that holds the head up and the neck is affiliated with Taurus? The "coincidences" in astrology are astounding.

What holds out head high is firstly what we think of ourselves. This is the esteem we hold ourselves at i.e "you are gorgeous", " you have every right to be here" etc.

If we are not careful, we could confuse "self esteem" with what others think of us.And this is erroneous as people will never hold us with as much high praise as we hold ourselves.

So having Saturn/Cap/Aqua there is tricky. Saturn takes time to bloom and for the longest time people with Cap in 2nd could be the type to feel like they have always had to "prove" their worth.

Knowing their own value doesn't come easy and is usually accompanied by a need to "achieve" status on a public stage(Cap) or be taken seriously by others

Interestingly, Brad Pitt has 2nd house cusp in Cap and he had over-achieving siblings that he was pitted against.

This Ic in Pisces he was(in his words) considered the "dumb blonde" whom parents and siblings alike didn't expect much from.

But deep within(Cap 2nd), Brad felt a need to make something of himself(Moon/Mercury/Venus and Mars in Cap mind you).

And so with the Mc in Virgo also ruled by Cap Mercury, I think he kept on working on his self esteem by building "achievements"(Cap). Both Cap and Virgo are extremely self-critical.

posted August 02, 2019 10:58 PM            

interesting that you phrase it like that because with saturn 2nd house i'd say i've undervalued myself while also not seeking approval from other people

i think the strong uranus in my chart keeps me from wanting that, but i'm hypercritical of myself at the same time or was rather

i've let a lot of that go post-saturn return just through life experiences and my interactions with other people

posted August 03, 2019 02:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
@Aries23Degrees

interesting that you phrase it like that because with saturn 2nd house i'd say i've undervalued myself while also not seeking approval from other people

i think the strong uranus in my chart keeps me from wanting that, but i'm hypercritical of myself at the same time or was rather

i've let a lot of that go post-saturn return just through life experiences and my interactions with other people

seemed unfair to myself to be more judgemental of me than i am of anyone else

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Hmmm...public opinion and to be held in high regard by others is always super important to Cap.

posted August 03, 2019 07:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Hmmm...public opinion and to be held in high regard by others is always super important to Cap.

What planet rules your 2nd and what sign is it in?
What sign is Saturn in that's in your 2nd?

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stole this from another thread because i'm being lazy that's why lilith and priapus are there

i don't necessarily care about public opinions or popular opinions because if i disagree them they're unimportant to me and i see no need to really prove myself to other people because i don't care about their standards necessarily to want to meet them

when i do things they're about me, my views, my standards, and what i see fit

public opinion would have to mold itself to my standards for to me to care about it lol

posted August 03, 2019 02:50 PM            

I am not sure what to make of what you said honestly Dumuzi. Based on the rest of the chart. I am stumped tbh

It could be the Uranus easy aspect with Mercury/Moon in grand trine has you avoid a straight line?Nep/Mars wide conjunction thrown in there for impassivity perhaps at times?

Yes,there's your Moon in Aries.But its in the partnership 7th. And there's Libra Asc with Venus conjunct Asc and Pluto there.And both in Libra which is also about partnerships??? How can you not give a crap?

It could be shaky ground but I still stand by what I said :Saturn in 2nd in about maintaining a good reputation. And I mean this specifically with work. Saturn in 2nd builds a tangible,structured reputation over time.

I have no idea where in life you are. And perhaps right now you are not giving a crap what others think?But it is easier to not "give a crap"when there is nothing of significance to do or none significant to impress.

Moon in 6th and ruling the 10th is not cavalier either. The warrior energy in the Moon planet is competitive. This epecially when in the career. This is where it hates criticism and fights with people that stand in its way to the top.

Capricorn on the Ic with Mars conjunct also gives you entrepreneurial potential. Cap energy from the Ic wants to live a "purposeful" life. That can't be done without other people or through creating alienation by being indifferent or carefree about the relations they have with them.

As I said, I have no idea where you are right now at this point in life. Mars conjunct the Ic could also mean that things pick up later on in life? You may be a very active pensioner for instance?

But having a good reputation will grow in importance (especially for your self-esteem 2nd). This especially when Saturn in squaring Sun.

Perhaps right now there is resistance? But I will be sincerely suprised if this f*** it attitude lasts into your 50's.

posted August 03, 2019 03:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
@Dumuzi

I am not sure what to make of what you said honestly Dumuzi. Based on the rest of the chart. I am stumped tbh

It could be the Uranus easy aspect with Mercury/Moon in grand trine has you avoid a straight line?Nep/Mars wide conjunction thrown in there for impassivity perhaps at times?

Yes,there's your Moon in Aries.But its in the partnership 7th. And there's Libra Asc with Venus conjunct Asc and Pluto there.And both in Libra which is also about partnerships??? Bow can you not givea crap?

It could be shaky ground but I still stand by what I said :Saturn in 2nd in about maintaining a good reputation. And I mean this specifically with work. Saturn in 2nd builds a tangible,structured reputation over time.

I have no idea where in life you are. And perhaps right now you are not giving a crap what others think?But it is easier to not "give a crap"when there is nothing of significance to do or none significant to impress.

Moon in 6th and ruling the 10th is not cavalier either. The warrior energy in the Moon planet is competitive. This epecially when in the career. This is where it hates criticism and fights with people that stand in its way to the top.

Capricorn on the Ic with Mars conjunct also gives you entrepreneurial potential. Cap energy from the Ic wants to live a "purposeful" life. That can't be done without other people or through creating alienation by being indifferent or carefree about the relations they have with them.

As I said, I have no idea where you are right now at this point in life. Mars conjunct the Ic could also mean that things pick up later on in life? You may be a very active pensioner?

But having a good reputation will grow in importance (especially for your self-esteem 2nd). This especially when Saturn in squaring Sun.

Perhaps right now there is resistance? But I will be sincerely suprised if this f*** it attitude lasts into your 50's.

Pluto/Saturn transits are squaring your Ac/Dc angles.
Sooner or later some "giving a f***" will be necessary .

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i can care about other people but i don't see why i should have to prove myself to anyone when i don't expect other people to have to prove themselves to me

people just are who they are and there's no hoops they have to jump through for it you know?

when i was a kid i did well in school without trying scholarships, awards, gifted programs etc but i didn't care about any of it because it didn't really matter i didn't study or anything i just got the grades, and i spent an equal amount of time sitting in the hallway because i got kicked out of the classroom or just not there because i didn't like going it didn't interest me

my parents left me alone about school for the most part because i passed, the things that did interest me like music was **** that i taught myself in a vacuum because i got no feedback ever and didn't seek it because that seemed pointless

i'd isolate myself and play guitar and teach myself **** idk

other than that i was really into setting **** on fire and vandalism

i didn't really focus on myself all through my late teens-early 20's because that was about helping my ex fiancee raise her siblings and deal with her family **** and then i spent years dealing with my own health issues and drug **** and barely even participated in society

lot of just being on the outside of that

being bi and **** like that of course came with all those perks it comes with when you can't hide it and you don't fit gender roles etc that's always fun, that made me not give a **** what other people thought (i'm sure you understand that bit better than most though)

my father was impossible to please, he'd tell me all the time my younger brother was his favorite and would give him things and tell me if i wasn't me i'd have them too, while simultaneously being a really abusive person so i always looked like i didn't approve of him so i didn't need his approval

authority figures usually said and did things i found pointless and needless so i didn't care if i had theirs i had more fun picking holes in what they had to say and watching them squirm as a teenager and then as an adult just avoiding all that mess

i've been in a lot of weird ****** up living situations where it's just been a matter of focusing on getting through the day to day **** and that's all that there was

idk it's made me generally apathetic and i honestly feel like i would be fine living off grid in the woods in the middle of nowhere and not even dealing with life like that lol

maybe the **** going on in my chart will change that, but i've been pretty apathetic for a very long time because from what i see most things in life seem like pointless ******** and i've never really been thrilled enough with society to care about recognition like that

i've never held a steady job or cared about that, i mean i literally had a point in my life where i stole damn near everything i had

so yeah

i mean this transit so far has changed a lot when it first hit (direct) my ex and i were talking about a family and sobering up and not doing stupid **** and building something more structured, and then the retrograde happened and we started doing drugs again and broke up and when pluto hit my ic exact and saturn was exact squaring my venus i went on a really ****** date with this guy

and now i'm just feeling like being alone for a minute lol but idk what the **** i'm doing i don't know how to be a person or some **** like that much less care

maybe something will drastically change when things move direct or once saturn goes back to conjunct my mars for a minute before it hits everything direct again and makes it to my ic, but so far i can't see a reason why i need to care about any of that currently and i never had a point where i did

maybe that will change soon who knows? i doubt i'll make it to 50 though that's really pushing it

my solar return chart for this year is interesting

there's pluto in the 4th and saturn on the ic from the 3rd (my solar return ascendant is conjunct my venus, falling into my 12th) moon in taurus at 29 degrees in the 8th (trine pluto but square the sun,venus, mars conjunction in the 11th) uranus is well aspected in the 7th (trine saturn and trine sun, mars, and venus) mercury is in leo (conjunct my natal mercury by 1 degree) trine jupiter in the 3rd

north node conjunct midheaven in cancer 5th house neptune (square jupiter sextile saturn and pluto) 6th chiron (square saturn, trine jupiter, sextile moon, and biquintile sun)

there's certain things my ex and i spoke about that i intend to follow through on because i already planned them, and i suppose in a certain petty sense it's just about showing her she didn't have to be dramatic and stupid about life and act like it's impossible to get anywhere when all she needed to do was be patient instead of continuously doing dumb **** the second she got close to getting anything

it's complicated and she has a lot of mental illness issues that have gotten worse the past couple of years

it's honestly been peaceful being single in spite of caring about her still and worrying because she's just digging herself really bad holes and making her own life worse...i know she's not capable of creating anything stable for herself or anyone ever, but she never saw it like she was creating issues

having her around while stubbornly insisting she's always right made it impossible for me to get us anything stable she just always crashed whatever i could get together for us

does that count? i've never felt that before lol because if that current sort of fleeting feeling is what changes things then i've felt that very recently for the first time ever

it's just i've always told her to be patient and to listen to me and trust me, and she never wanted to and then was always upset by the **** she'd create

now she's in a place where she can **** up all she wants and it'll only affect her but i know i'll be good, and that's where the pettiness comes in i guess lol wanting to show her that if she would just listen to me things could be fine (and also i hope she gets help when she inevitably hits rock bottom, professional help though i already know i'll have to be the one who gets her out of whatever hole she digs like usual)

thing is i'm also the kind of person who has a hard time with motivation without a fire under me, put pressure on me and i can do a lot in a short amount of time because i have to, but when i don't feel pressure from anything i just sort of wander aimlessly and do whatever

so maybe there will be pressure somehow **** if i know, but i don't currently feel any

posted August 03, 2019 04:35 PM            

Saturn/Sun square certainly suggests a difficult relationship with authority figures.They can demoralize you. Plus you have Moon opposite Asc- not being supported by those who were supposed to be nurturers.

I have Moon square Asc and I did ask a question on this thread i.e do people who have Moon/Asc feel unsupported by those whom are close to them or those who are "supposed" to provide nurturance?

The aspect between the two does suggest one who lives with their heart on their sleeve. So things tend to get to them faster due to limited protective barriers there between the internal psyche(Moon) and external perception of the world(Asc).

Wow Dumuzi.What will you do though? Will you go on in life drifting off to wherever life takes you? Or is the aim to find peace for as long as you can?

You know its funny, as a Neptune/Sun conj myself I do feel a certain resonance with your view of life. There is a bit of apathy with me too. I just hope I don't lose complete hope as life goes on otherwise I don't think I will make it to old age.

Perhaps that is also part of my drive? I have Cap Mc and there is a need to "make something" of myself. Our Mc/Ic points are swopped around and it is really from an internal point that I feel most vulnerable(Cancer Ic).

I read your response and despite the cynicism, there is more level-headedness "keep it real-ness" to you that I infer. So you may surprise yourself and find that you hit 50 much sooner than you ever thought possible.

posted August 03, 2019 05:37 PM            

yeah i'm pretty apathetic about most **** , if i had reason to care i suppose i would, like i cared deeply when my ex was pregnant and then she had a miscarriage and life mostly went back to normal aside from her becoming increasingly erratic (which she had been even before the pregnancy)

it just being me though or when i've had to mostly focus on her ups and downs etc then it's much harder

i think because i'm used to getting by and drifting it makes it easy to just get by drifting and do whatever comes up or whatever needs to be done you know?

it was ****** of him yeah, but he had a ****** childhood and **** happens i preferred him doing that to when i'd get hit for doing absolutely nothing or because my younger brother figured out quickly how to manipulate my father's favoritism with tears (which is funny because if i ever cried that would just mean i was going to get hit to have a "proper reason" to do it, but my younger brother cried all the damn time and no one told him **** ) which meant all kinds of fun **** for me

older brother was violent too me and him would fight constantly over him trying to tell me what to do, so that was fun

my mother was a bit better, but more of a friend than an actual parent or she'd come to me with all her problems because she saw my brothers as weaker than me and therefore not worth talking to about things that were heavy

i wasn't really allowed to have feelings about much of anything as a kid, can't be upset if other people are etc so over the years that's sort of been a weird thing for me and created a lot of apathy

i make jokes about being dead inside all the time, but i'm only partially joking lol

i never saw that thread, but i definitely wasn't supported or nurtured like that, i don't even know what that **** is lol even in my relationship it was always me being there for her or me being there for her siblings

as adults my brothers have issues they'll come to me to talk about them or ask for help dealing with them, whereas i have issues i just go off alone and don't talk until i don't feel anything about them and talking doesn't bring on an emotional response

if i care about someone or something, then they can get to me easily, but otherwise nah

i have no idea what i'm going to do really, i'm aware that just drifting only works for so long but i also have zero motivation to currently do much else and i'm not seeing anything passing by that's interested me either

it's a weird limbo to usually be in

it's not that i feel hopeless at all, i actually figure i'll be fine because i know if i have to be i will be regardless of what comes with it

peace is just an internal sort of state of mind, you can feel at peace while the whole world is burning down around you or at least i can

everything can go to **** and i'll just be like "ok well it doesn't matter right this second, those clouds are pretty"

you shouldn't give up hope though, i hope you don't anyway, as long as you're alive there's a chance of something coming along

**** can change so suddenly for better or worse, just one hour to next and your whole life can be different

that's worth sticking around for isn't it?

all our angles are swapped so it's interesting hearing your perspective of things your ascendant is almost right on my nn

for me i figure i won't make it to old age because my health is garbage and i do dumb **** lol tbh with you, it's really that simple

but yeah you shouldn't lose hope at all, you have no idea what's coming

idk what to make of my midheaven really especially when you throw asteroids onto it and fixed stars then it's sort of amusing i guess but that's about it (castor, pollux, anubis, horus, king, midas, fama, ramses etc and so on)

i've had people reading my chart telling me there's going to be some rapid change at some point in my 30's but i guess we'll see

posted August 05, 2019 02:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Still_Hopeful:
I am not sure about other poster. BUT public opinion was always important for me. I leaned how to differentiate myself from it to SOME degree but Still it is important. I remember, I would hide from all of people if I think I did something wrong. Example: In collage I got really really really drunk and i did some funny staff (not that embarrassing, as I think right now after some time passed) Well I hided from the world almost 1 year.Can you believe it? I thought everybody was judging me. I realized it was just in my head and I started to change. It was gradual. Now I still suffer from bouts of this kind of obsessions, but It is much better (I started to "pity" myself a little bit)

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I feel you. I have Saturn in 8th house and I feel this pressure when it comes to sex & sexuality.

In bed I tend to struggle to just "let go". There is a fear of "losing" power so I tend to fake orgasms . Maybe because I feel the pressure of sex or being pushed to be intimate too much.