posted October 05, 2019 04:33 PM            

Can I see both your charts?

Uranus rules his Sun sign and Uranus is prone to suprises. Most times uncomfortable ones.

I see a pattern with air signs doing this. Perhaps its a need for space and to gauge what is happening with them within?

Maybe they pull a disappearing act or spontaneously retreat for perspective by breaking up with the SO? Can an air sign chime in on this?

I have an Aqua whom is great at pulling a Houdini on me and then return to expect us to pick up where we left off. He also has Venus in Pisces/Moon in Virgo.

Perhaps this "break-up" with you is actually just a "break" to them?

posted October 05, 2019 07:38 PM            

Sometimes we have to write our own ending because tbe people who are supposed to give us closure, don't have the emotional awareness or wherewithal to do it.

Its going to get worse before it gets better. I know the obsession you speak of and it is part of the grieving process.

posted October 05, 2019 07:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by TrueScorpio:
Thank you both. Aries23Degrees, I can't figure out how to post the charts or I would. To be honest, I'm so 'desperate for insight I'd email you or just post our birth details. My obsessive behavior is not something I like either, it feels out of my control. This has been just consuming too much energy. I know the it's the best. He has a lot of professional demands and said it was because I wanted more from him than he could give or something along those lines. He is heavy Saturn and actually so am I, which I never quite realized. God I hate people like me. It feels so week and rather pathetic.

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I’ve been there, and I hate the feeling too.

posted October 06, 2019 02:30 PM            

So I can see why it feels so painful as Saturn tends to make us feel bonded to the person for better or worse.And with Mars also in your 4th, he brought both ecstasy and intimacy to you.

Both Mars/Saturn are difficult to have in a natal chart for a native.On the one hand the native wants to go full speed ahead(Mars) but Saturn comes along and negates all that by slowing things down considerably.

Now with both in aspect to Sun, he blows hot/cold. And with Moon in Virgo, probably imagines all sorts of reasons as to how/why something is not likely to be successful.

Virgo moons are prone to obsessively think problems into being and with Moon-Pluto conjunction, there is a lot of momentum banked on "what could go wrong" thought patterns.

He also has Neptune in aspect to all his personal planets(save for Jupiter). Chiron-Venus are conjunct in Pisces. Is there self-delusion or living too much in lala land?

I see his Neptune sits in your 1st and you also have Neptune in your 1st. I can certainly get the appeal. Neptune can definitely have one thinking that the connection transcends the physical to it being close to downright "divinity".

You are NOT seeing him clearly and perhaps that is how he presented himself? Because I get the feeling that he doesn't see himself clearly either-which makes knowing what he wants consistently challenging.

I think its morr confusion and a swing of back forth emotions(Pluto-Venus opp) that has him behave this way. And add to that the Saturn/Mars/Sun that wants to limit sentimental contact.

He has North node in Cancer(interestingly). And perhaps he recognizes a need to be vulnerable but keeps on putting up a tough face? Can't be sure as there are defensive walls up(Pluto-Moon).as well as pain coming from relationships with others and fear of being blindsided(Ven-Chiron Pisces).

I am not sure all of that is any of your problem really. He may change his mind about the abrupt breaking off from you. Some regrets especially when the extremes of emotions settle.

posted October 07, 2019 06:28 AM            

I have Mars in Libra/Venus in Scorpio and I understand your need to do this. So with his Mars/Sun/Saturn in Aqua, he may oblige.

But be sure that this is indeed what you want and keep it that way. Don't build bridges only to later hope for "more". It may backfire on you if he treats you as a casual acquaintance and pursues other suitors in your face.

His Saturn on your Sun is definitely a bond (for good or ill) So perhaps maintaining this relationship also serves that purpose? Saturn interplanetary aspects can feel like a marriage even when it's not.

I also see that there was likely a bond based more on intellectual rapport and communication etc. Than pure passion. This when we consider his Mars in Aqua to your Venus in Libra.

I asked myself why there would be such a connection between a double Scorpio and an Airy Aqua with an analytical Moon in Virgo?

Such is possible if the Scorpio has air planets (and such is the case with you). Your Venus in Libra,Saturn in Aqua and North node in Gemini grand trine in air(even when not in perfect aspect)

So to you, mental rapport is EVERYTHING. Neptune in 1st(his) and yours just exacerbates the euphoria to a point where it feels like the connection is "out of this world".

Now your chart comes together for me. That Jup in 7th has you project the "intellectual powerhouse " or "guru" to someone else etc.

So you are an intellect at heart as Moon/ Merc conjunction in Scorpio shares Moon in Gemini traits.

But you are comfortable being the learner or student with all the questions.And then look to someone else (Jupiter in 7th) for all the answers.

Look at how your Chiron in 5th house of romance aspects Uranus by square exact.You are looking to be intrigued, inspired and invigorated.

But you are also yearning to find like-minded people and are searching more for friendship in love than pure sexual love.

Perhaps you have been very lonesome or have struggled to find those with whom you connect with in a deeply meaningful way (Chiron in Pisces)?

There is a sense of wanting to belong or establish a bond with those who catch your drift etc and it always does not necessarily meaning romance may result in the union as is the case when Uranus is involved (Uranus can be non sexual when in 5th or in aspect with a 5th house placement)

Follow this thread to your Venus right on the cusp of the 11th (friends and sense of community and 12th house(isolation) in non sexual Libra.Could the heavens be any more clearer?

I see your 3rd house cusp of intellectual curiosity is in Sag and dominated by Cap.The cusp of Sag/Cap ime (having the Sun there) is when one is born with a curiosity to explore (Sag) but conditions around them are austere or unsupportive.

In your case,it could be that you may have felt restricted or unable to express yourself because you either had no audience.Or the people on the other end would think your ideas "weird","foolish", "far fetched" or perhaps they are too "narrow minded" & conservative to understand them or be supportive.

You are looking for friendship & connection. This is at the core of your emotional wellbeing (Ic in Aqua with its tradional ruler Saturn there). That is why this bond with Aqua is so heartbreaking to you.And why you want to find ways to salvage it.OH...

Notice also how North node in Gemini is in your 8th?Intellectual rapport,eloquent speech and mind stimulation are ways that you get all hot and flustered (turn ons) not to mention "intimate".

The mind to you is the sexiest object of the body & perhaps this Aqua was "well endowed " enough to "stimulate" it?

posted October 08, 2019 02:08 AM            

Fear(which is what I suspect he has) runs away, closes off, interrupts,breaks down, defends itself etc. and this is the story that he telling to you "I could be loving some of the time.But I am always fear".

It is hard to fall inlove on the whole as it means we have to stay true to what our heart wants. And this means being consistently vulnerable and letting the other know what is going on below.

Right now he is resorting to defensiveness & separation (juvenile states of being) which to me says he doesn't feel ready for you.

So you should ask yourself how he felt about you based on the entirety of the relationship Especially seeing that it was developing nicely until the brakes were abruptly applied.

If he loves you,it won't matter if you don't feel it.But I see someone who is not loving himself(to start off with) as how we treat ourselves can be no different to how we treat the people we love i.e the people we love, inspire us to be better and do better for ourselves because we want to feel "deserving" of them etc.

So with him there is a lot of back/forth that you won't help .It's not your battle.Even as you may love him dearly, he is resistant to it as much as a scruffy toddler is resistant to a warm bath.Leave him to sort himself out.

Oh yes and in as far as the looks thing is concerned, that is your "wobble" that you came with through from a bad past experience to this one i.e in that you carried over the residue of your past relationship being unsatisfactory because you felt "used" by a superficial person etc.

Can you see how the bar was already lowered for the Aqua? You were already wounded by the past wobble and this state of feeling "worthless" became the definitive focus upon which everything hinged on?

This Aqua had to only assure you that you were "more" by looking past your looks for you to feel validated i.e "thank goodness that he sees I am more than just ....[fill in the blank]" or "He appreciates me far from the physical.."etc.

But of course he should(as is supposed to be with everyone else).Dont forget that.So what about whether he is good enough for you? Does he treat you well? Is he consistent and open? Does he want commitment? Etc.

Or were the above glazed over because you were flattered that someone looked past the physical with you? That's how I think you lowered the bar and that is perhaps why there is yearning for him?

I suspect that it is not necessarily him that you want, but his "essence" i.e "There are not many guys who are going to connect with me the way he has" Or "not many guys will be able to refrain from being "distracted" by my physical appearance" etc.

The Saturn in Aqua square to your Mercury in Scorpio and Moon has you convinced "there is not more where that came from" or "such people are rare" etc.

But I am here to say that people who are willing to treat you as highly as you treat yourself are not "rare".But they need to take the lead from you.

So if you are convinced that love is "rare", any old Tom can come along and do the bare minimum to win your heart over. Be careful of such a mentality and celebrate your own beauty.

I don't see beauty as an "impediment" to being loved but a complementary part of it ie. We enjoy the people we feel in love with. It's not meant to be a "distraction" for the person who has it to "work" to minimize in order to be taken more seriously etc.

Yes granted there are those who look at the physical and get completely engulfed to a point where they think they are "inlove". And it can certainly be hurtful for a person on the receiving end of that "love" to not know which is which i.e are you loving me for me? Or are you loving me because of what I got?

But let this not get in the way of recognizing what is true from what is temporary ie. Someone who loves you or cares for you is always protective,gentle,warm, appreciative
and attentive of you. They are enamoured by ALL of you and never objectify you.This is true.

Someone who wants to see you "twirk",makes you feel "cheap",never listens to you,calls you only when they want sex,touches you inappropriately all the time (even as you insist on them how uncomfortable that feels),thinks you are "totally hot" but knows nothing about you etc.is temporary.

I think we tend to feel'used' in relationships only if our self-worth was on the floor at the very start of it.As I'd also feel very 'dirty' & 'used' for instance, if I was the "Welcome" mat at the entry door

posted October 15, 2019 12:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by TrueScorpio:
I received a text from my Aqua friend yesterday. Reread what you wrote, I liked it but didn't respond.

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Did it take ALL of your restraint not to respond?Or were you indifferent?

posted October 15, 2019 12:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by TrueScorpio:
I received a text from my Aqua friend yesterday. Reread what you wrote, I liked it but didn't respond.

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Did it take ALL of your restraint not to respond?Or were you indifferent?

posted October 18, 2019 02:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by TrueScorpio:
It pretty much took everything to be chill. There's no doubt in my mind that you nailed him. So what do you think someone with a chart like his goes through? I mean it was so random that he says he's thinking of me when I think there's no relationship that would actually be enough to keep his interest.

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In my opinion, it is tempting to have someone's attention and then keep that person's attention on your own terms. There is a lovely sense of "control" over the other person there.

When you find the other person difficult to control however or they no longer put you as the object of their attention.Then you can do what you can to get back "screen time". Even pull out all the stops (try to seduce the individual through flirting and being suggestive etc)

Let him initiate everything and go along with it only on your terms.And watch for consistency.The issue here is that he may go back to being the same ol' same ol'.