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Author Topic:   Relationship without much going on in synastry?
rainyvirgo
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posted November 17, 2019 07:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for rainyvirgo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I always hear and read about the relationships with all the amazing conjunctions like Venus-Pluto and Mars-sun and Venus-Mars and sun-moon and etc etc etc etc kind of aspects. What about relationships that develop even though you don’t really seem to have anything that interesting going on between your charts? Relationships with someone that isn’t really your astrological type and yet it works?

Have any of you had that? And what was it like for you?

I'm in a relationship that's been going strong for more than a year (before this my longest relationship was 3 months) and when I looked at his chart a few months into the relationship (I didn't want to even know his birthday at first bc I didn't want it to influence how I felt about him either positively or negatively, I just wanted to see where it went) I was actually pretty disappointed and sad because none of the synastry aspects I was expecting or hoping for to reinforce the relationship in my mind were there. He's a libra and I thought for the longest time that my ideal partner would be a mix of Sagittarius/Scorpio and Pisces (still find Sagittarius energy so magnetic and attractive). But I've grown to really appreciate his libra energy (and he does have a Scorpio Mercury and Venus so I'm happy about that) and just him in general, because I feel very at peace with him in a day to day sort of way, like I can imagine this is what healthy married life feels like. Peaceful and calm and harmonious with laughter and kindness.

But we don't even have one aspect that's like a conjunction (other than his Saturn and my Pluto?? And a loose mars-uranus conjunction) or exact degrees and etc, we don't have any sun-sun, moon-moon, or sun-moon aspects (which I was pretty bummed about), no mars-venus, no Venus-Jupiter, no *insert list of various other aspects I wanted to see*

My Leo Venus wanted something more theatrical and intense and to find some proof of fate and whatever in our synastry but I am learning that that's not everything. It’s about what you build with someone, not just what the charts say...

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Librapurr
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posted November 17, 2019 11:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Librapurr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What’s about a composite chart? A lot of people say in long term relationships the composite could be more important than synastry. Also, some squares could be hot aspects too, houses are important, comparing your natal charts might give some insights.
I think not much going on is not as bad as much negative aspects.
You feel at peace with Scorpio Mercury/ Venus?! 😧 Hm.. Isn’t Scorpio Venus supposed to test you to death..

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Aries23Degrees
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posted November 17, 2019 11:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are fortunate to be with someone you are happy with.I say don't cling on synastry too much if there is a legit feeling of contentment without the usual suspects

What I reckon is that there could be mirroring effects i.e Moon in 9th(You) and he has Moon/Jupiter. Or perhaps Mars in 1st and he has Mars/Sun etc.

I am not saying that these are yours/his placements at all, just making an example of what could be.

I agree with composite.My best bud and I share what I highlighted above i.e similar placements. But our composite shows a conjunction between Ven/Mars in Sag close to exact.

We talk a whole lot about world issues, politics, religion etc. And that composite Ven/Mars conj my Jupiter/trind Asc too.

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Dumuzi
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posted November 18, 2019 12:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Librapurr:
What’s about a composite chart? A lot of people say in long term relationships the composite could be more important than synastry. Also, some squares could be hot aspects too, houses are important, comparing your natal charts might give some insights.
I think not much going on is not as bad as much negative aspects.
You feel at peace with Scorpio Mercury/ Venus?! 😧 Hm.. Isn’t Scorpio Venus supposed to test you to death..

scorpio mercury and venus can be great at first, intense and a lot of fun but the testing and spiteful **** etc definitely comes up

i was with a scorpio mercury and venus (venus conjunct pluto too) for almost 15 years (known her for 21) and even the break up has been a constant weird spiteful test that's been going on since july

first few years were mostly good, last few years were pure **** and even post break up she's still alternating between push and pull **** and being decent one minute and a ***** the next

and christ they dont let anything go either, ive been yelled at recently (after the break up) for **** i did and said when i was a teenager before we even started dating

lot of drama, lot of manipulative ******** , but it's an interesting roller coaster good sex a lot of fun at points etc

all in all i wouldnt necessarily take it back but id rather shoot myself in the face than go through anything similar again

@rainyvirgo funny enough she's a sag sun with a pisces mars (conjunct jupiter) so she had all that energy you mentioned going on (aries moon, and aquarius ascendant though)

we had moon-sun, venus-mars, mars-mars etc going on in synastry though among other things

but i'd check the composite to see other things at play

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ChildofVenus
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posted November 18, 2019 12:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@Dumuzi really? Geez the Scorpio I’m friends with seems to be that way. He has Venus and Mercury in Scorpio. I’ve always heard that Scorpio sex is good. And we have some good sexual aspects I want to experience this. But it’s crazy he says he likes me but I don’t know. I told him that I just wanted to get it over with. He said he thought it was bogus that I just want to have sex and get it over with.

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rainyvirgo
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posted November 18, 2019 01:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rainyvirgo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Tbh we do have a pretty nice composite chart, I think.
Sun in late Virgo conjunct Mercury and Venus in Libra, all close to the ascendant in the first house. And moon at 7 degrees cancer, Mars at 3 degrees Taurus... Pretty cozy. And we have Jupiter in 6th house. Sort of another note, I really hope our composite 5th house Saturn doesn't mean infertility because we're always talking about having a big family so that would be pretty sad

Yeah tbh I know Scorpio energy can be really difficult sometimes – my mom is a Scorpio sun, moon, Mercury, with a Leo Mars.... Talk about explosive arguments lol. When we've got an issue she will not listen to me try to calmly explain my side and try to rationalize things and it kills my Virgo brain!! She'll take things out of context and twist my words and etc etc all that stuff.
She's really great honestly, but just really unreasonable when she gets upset about something.

But he's not like that at all! He's so gentle and sweet and caring, and has a lot of emotional strength. Softboi Libra. The Scorpio placements make him very loyal, genuine and extremely honest. I know I can trust every word. He doesn't like fighting, and when we have disagreements they're not dramatic blowout Pluto fights, we work it out easily. Ironically he has an Aries moon as well which you'd think would make him super argumentative combined with the Scorpio, but nope lol

He's very self-aware and knows himself really well, and has really good self-control. He's very hard to anger. And when he is angry, it takes a lot to make him show it.

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Dumuzi
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posted November 18, 2019 04:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
@Dumuzi really? Geez the Scorpio I’m friends with seems to be that way. He has Venus and Mercury in Scorpio. I’ve always heard that Scorpio sex is good. And we have some good sexual aspects I want to experience this. But it’s crazy he says he likes me but I don’t know. I told him that I just wanted to get it over with. He said he thought it was bogus that I just want to have sex and get it over with.

yeah they dont just want sex they want to eat your soul too, at least usually

the sex was good mostly because of the obsessive intense bonding when it came to my ex fiancee and the deep connection and familiarity etc though that bring said towards the end in spite of the sex being frequent i was so sick of her **** that it wasnt really worthwhile

i can distinctly remember one time where afterwards i just kind of felt repulsed by her and uninterested (this was maybe a couple weeks before we broke up), she noticed too so that didnt go very well

i had another ex who was a scorpio mars and that was definitely similar with her, though the sex wasnt great the intensity was fun and we had a good time

but again the game playing **** came up and both of them would try to get under my skin (they admitted to picking fights and whatnot) to get reactions because me being "too calm" or "too content" while they were in a mood bothered them

the scorpio mars guy i had a one night stand with was interesting, the sex was good but i wasnt into it

he was too clingy, obsessive, and intense for me after the first time up until that point things were fine after not at all

it's not for me and ive had good sex without that too

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Dumuzi
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posted November 18, 2019 04:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by rainyvirgo:
Tbh we do have a pretty nice composite chart, I think.
Sun in late Virgo conjunct Mercury and Venus in Libra, all close to the ascendant in the first house. And moon at 7 degrees cancer, Mars at 3 degrees Taurus... Pretty cozy. And we have Jupiter in 6th house. Sort of another note, I really hope our composite 5th house Saturn doesn't mean infertility because we're always talking about having a big family so that would be pretty sad

Yeah tbh I know Scorpio energy can be really difficult sometimes – my mom is a Scorpio sun, moon, Mercury, with a Leo Mars.... Talk about explosive arguments lol. When we've got an issue she will not listen to me try to calmly explain my side and try to rationalize things and it kills my Virgo brain!! She'll take things out of context and twist my words and etc etc all that stuff.
She's really great honestly, but just really unreasonable when she gets upset about something.

But he's not like that at all! He's so gentle and sweet and caring, and has a lot of emotional strength. Softboi Libra. The Scorpio placements make him very loyal, genuine and extremely honest. I know I can trust every word. He doesn't like fighting, and when we have disagreements they're not dramatic blowout Pluto fights, we work it out easily. Ironically he has an Aries moon as well which you'd think would make him super argumentative combined with the Scorpio, but nope lol

He's very self-aware and knows himself really well, and has really good self-control. He's very hard to anger. And when he is angry, it takes a lot to make him show it.


my mother has a libra sun, scorpio venus/ascendant/mercury/neptune with an aries moon and it does seem like libra energy can balance some of it out a bit but she's got her fair share of issues

she listens during arguments though and can have discussions whereas my ex was like your mother twisting words, things out of context, harping on tone, telling me i was yelling when i clearly wasnt etc (oddly enough things didnt start that way, she became like that over time)

i wouldnt call my ex great at this point, there was a time where that was true but i dont recognize who she is and shes destroyed a lot of her friendships and such at this point so it's not just me who's been subjected to the drastic changes

not sure what's going on but she needs help

i wouldnt necessarily think that for aries moon because i have one and i rarely argue with people and it's hard to get me angry

it sounds like libra influence can soften scorpio a good deal though in my experience it takes some time in a close relationship before the scorpio really comes out

how is the saturn aspected?

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GalacticCoreExplosion
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posted November 18, 2019 08:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GalacticCoreExplosion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ime, you don't need technical aspects between the Planets and/or points to feel them. Meaning, they don't have to be "within orb of aspect". When they are, they are a bit more intense though.

But, you have a general Venus Mars square for one example. That general square relationship tends to indicate a lot of intense romantic/sexual attraction.

You said he was a Libra Sun, I think. If you have Aries Rising like I think, then that would be opposite your Rising Sign. That's a strong one in particular I have noticed. I have this with my core partner of 18+ yrs.

Synastry is pretty complex subject, since there is so much information to look at. If doing 1 full natal chart is like putting together a 500 piece puzzle, then understanding a full synastry chart comparison is more akin to a 1500 piece puzzle. I haven't mastered it yet, and I've been at this astrology thing more seriously for some 23 years (a little longer if you count just focus on Sun Signs).

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margym0o
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posted November 18, 2019 10:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This isn't strange at all. I am friends with a couple who have been together for almost 10 years I think? Married with two children now. Sounds very similar to your relationship dynamic. When I first did their synastry I was legitimately BAFFLED as it is incredibly sparse. Not much going on aspect wise and certainly not the textbook "love" aspects you read about. Their composite isn't much better IMO...some nice aspects but nothing that would blow your socks off.

Synastry is intended to show the chemistry between two people and how you view each other. A composite shows the overall dynamic of the relationship itself. Perhaps your composite is a better overall reflection of your relationship with those nice aspects than your synastry is.

I agree with the others though, just enjoy it for what it is and forget the astro side of it.

FYI, Saturn in the 5th does not spell infertility, from personal experience. This is purely a biological issue (either your own personal reproductive health, or his). What I think it DOES represent is a very serious attitude towards child-rearing, in a responsible way. Meaning that you won't just have children willy-nilly without the proper systems in place to set yourselves/them up for the best life possible.

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GalacticCoreExplosion
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posted November 18, 2019 11:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GalacticCoreExplosion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
According to the Edgar Cayce work, there is a potential difference in time between the spiritual and physical birth times and that it's the spiritual birth time that is the accurate chart. If this is true, and over years I have come to be very open minded and strongly leaning to this concept for many reasons, then there is a percentage of people with accurate birth times that still have inaccurate charts.

We, as human personalities, seem to have the least freewill when it comes to relationships and interactions with others. Meaning, we are so strongly influenced by other's energies, that it's hard for us to come together with some completely random person and grow a relationship with them. Many relationship connections have some kind of deeper past, whether other life, in the nonphysical, and/or in other systems. Even (maybe especially) arranged marriages and the like, often have a karmic (whether pleasurable and/or difficult) component to them.

The Ascendant and other Angles are crucial to Synastric chart comparisons. They can make up for lack of purely planetary connections. I mentioned Sun opposed Rising is particularly strong.

But then again, Planetary aspects do not need to be in actual aspect to feel/notice them. I feel general Sun-Moon oppositions quite strongly without them being within 10 degree orb, for one example. I feel Venus Mars oppositions quite strongly without them being in actual aspect. It's just enough for them to have Venus in Pisces or Mars in Leo for me.

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Librapurr
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posted November 18, 2019 09:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Librapurr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:

my mother has a libra sun, scorpio venus/ascendant/mercury/neptune with an aries moon and it does seem like libra energy can balance some of it out a bit but she's got her fair share of issues

she listens during arguments though and can have discussions whereas my ex was like your mother twisting words, things out of context, harping on tone, telling me i was yelling when i clearly wasnt etc (oddly enough things didnt start that way, she became like that over time)

i wouldnt call my ex great at this point, there was a time where that was true but i dont recognize who she is and shes destroyed a lot of her friendships and such at this point so it's not just me who's been subjected to the drastic changes

not sure what's going on but she needs help

i wouldnt necessarily think that for aries moon because i have one and i rarely argue with people and it's hard to get me angry

it sounds like libra influence can soften scorpio a good deal though in my experience it takes some time in a close relationship before the scorpio really comes out



It doesn’t seem like Libra Sun helps much one guy with Scorpio Venus/ moon/ Mercury . One wrong look at him, and feel big sign Revenge flashing, and mostly “behind the curtains”, petty, shady. We never dated, but I’ve got PTSD from him. I’m not sure why I got on his radar..
On the other side, I was surprised to see my father has Mercury/Sun/Venus in Scorpio. He is complicated person, but he is very brainy and goes mostly for intellectual arguing, not shady stuff.
Maybe, Leo Mars squares are adding problems. Because Libra sun Scorpio Venus guy with Leo Mars has No idea about fairness and honesty. As Libra, I’m ashamed to see his Libra is so mean and Unfair.

I’m Libra with Scorpio Mercury, Stellium, but Libra makes me softer .. I wish I could play harder)

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rainyvirgo
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posted November 19, 2019 12:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rainyvirgo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@Dumuzi we have quite a few Saturn aspects actually, I didn't really think about it before because I was focused on the lack of more obvious relationship aspects

His to mine
-Saturn conjunct Pluto (1 d. orb)
-Saturn conjunct IC (1 d. orb)
-Saturn square ascendant (1 d. orb)
-Saturn square sun (5 d. orb)
-Saturn sextile Uranus (3 d. orb)

Mine to his (and Saturn is my 5th house ruler so I guess I like Saturn?)
Saturn square Mars (1 d. orb)
Saturn trine Neptune (0 d. orb)
Saturn opposite Pluto (3 d. orb)

And actually tbh we have quite a lot of aspects in general that I didn't notice before because I was fixated on looking for close aspects between personal planets. But we have a bunch that are outer planets to personal ones

---------------------------------------------

And @GalacticCoreExplosion, if I stop paying attention to only close orbs then we definitely have much more going on, you're right

Actual close personal planet aspects:
Mine to his
-Venus trine moon, (3 degree orb)
-Mercury trine moon, (1 degree orb)
-Mercury square Mercury, (3 d.o.)
-Venus sextile ascendant, (2 d.o.)

Just by signs, and aside from close aspects, there's a bunch because my personal planets are all Virgo/Leo and his are Scorpio/Libra plus Aries moon and Mars in Aquarius

Also can you tell me more about the spiritual birth time thing? I've never heard of that, it sounds really interesting
----------------------------------------

@margym0o that's a good point! Tbh I always read such negative intimidating things about Saturn and it's hard to find people talking about it in a non-scary way lol

And we definitely have a very serious attitude towards the 5th house – we're serious about having multiple kids and being really loving parents and giving them a really structured childhood and good foundation

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Hikaru29
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posted November 19, 2019 01:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Don't just look like planet-planet conjunctions, how about angle-angle, planet-angle, planet-point, point-angle? These are actually more important. My guy and I also have hardly any planet-planet conjunction except Mars-Saturn but we have other conjunctions between angle-angle, planet-angle, point-angle...

Conjunctions are more important in Composite actually as it shows synergy in a r/s.

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Kannon McAfee
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posted November 19, 2019 02:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kannon McAfee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This post belongs in Interpersonal Astrology. Moving it there.

I'll commnent first.

It is possible your synastry has significant aspects in declination. No synastry is complete without including them. They are the north-south movements of the planets against the celestial equator. You can read about them at my site linked below.

A relationship does not need the more fantastic/erotic sounding interaspects to be a good relationship or to have romantic ardor. This is one of the most common mis-perceptions (you see often here in LL) and people typically expect astrological factors to flash sex like a neon sign when in fact that is something already taken care of by our biology.

After this thread is moved to Interpersonal Astrology you can post your synastry chart if you like. Please keep the planet position columns intact if you want more detailed, useful input.

------------------
Soul Stars Astrology by The Declinations Guy
Expert birth chart rectification

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