posted January 01, 2020 12:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
well i have libra venus, like i said looking and short term stuff that kind of thing is nice but it becomes draining over the longterm

my ex was high maintanence and while i loved a lot of things about her i did find that draining, beautiful sure, but women like that are very self obsessed and it's not something that really has a lot of draw over the longterm

when you're constantly late because she had to spend an hour changing her clothes or some other dumb **** it gets old

her and i were friends and there was a lot of obligation etc so i stayed and she had other qualities but holy **** it was like torture to deal with

i'm fine with buying **** and giving gifts etc and so on, i did frequently most of her jewelry and whatnot came from me so that's not it

it's more just women like that generally are very into themselves and sometimes to a point where there isnt much room for anyone else, and that becomes unattractive

so does having to deal with dumb **** instead of just being able to have fun sometimes

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I don't know whether its the Venus in Scorpio nature that likes this.But I am turned on by people who don't try too hard to look good.

When looking at them, their beauty radiates more from within(if that makes sense).But i do find people(male/female) who just keep their looks simple "sexy".Something about a shirt and blue jeans simplicity that is appealing to me.

What you said there about waiting for hours for them to get ready is funny lol. I actually have a male friend whom takes forever to get ready. He is good looking and likes to "doll" himself up and all that.

His Venus is in Taurus with Taurus Moon too.So he is typical of that sign i.e likes to smell good and look good. And will spend lots of money on clothes,cologne and "looks" associated things.

He however is not flaky and shallow-even though i first thought so when I met him lol. He just loves to look good and smell it too. He says it improves his self esteem and am all for it.

Contrary to him however, is another Taurus Venus/Pisces Moon who is less about looks and more about nature,hiking and conservation.

He is more rugged in appearance (like I am). Cleans up now and then but not too obsessive about that ie.i like growing my beard and he does too. But we both like to tidy it up etc.

He is bisexual and dated a girl whom was high maintenance (a Sag Sun, Cap Venus). I think he liked a girl to be as girly as possible and his guys to be as pretty looking as possible.

He used to spend lots of money on her because the girl followed weave and/or fashion trends a lot. She had a new hairstyle every other week. And it didn't come cheap.

I asked him once what he found so attractive about her? And his answer was honest.He said she makes him feel like a "man".

And much like someone said earlier on here about some men loving the fact that they are able to "maintain" such a woman etc. He is the same. He says it raises his confidence about his "manbood" etc.

He is currently with a guy who has Venus in Gemini. The guy is into fitness stuff and looks very "Men's Health " type of cover model.

So in a way I guess he is consistently dating his "type"?And by that I mean male/female barbie dollz.Coz the boy looks like he wakes and sleeps at the gym.

posted January 01, 2020 12:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
at any rate it has nothing to do with money and everything to do with high maintenance women typically being self absorbed nightmares to be around over the long term[/B]

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You need to look up the definition of high-maintenance and perhaps study a psychological article about it.

What you referred to up there is actually the definition of an insecure and shallow person. nothing to do with maintenance (high or low). A person can be very people-pleasing (opposite of self-absorbed which you mentioned above), and yet high-maintenance. Again, they have nothing to do with each other. Selfish does is not necessarily equal to high-maintenance. You can be a down to earth person but still selfish.

Always better to think deeper than putting your guard up. My "real" comment was not about you, you simply automatically assumed so.

posted January 01, 2020 01:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i hope she was at least hot

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posted January 01, 2020 01:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosion:
Yeah, my experience with and observation of those types of women indicates that often these are towards the narcissistic spectrum, if not fully within same.

Only narcissistic people can enjoy other narcissistic people, and "enjoy" is a relative term, because typically while they may be strongly attracted to each other (if only superficially), there are often a lot of power struggles, mutual manipulation, and games played.

But birds of a feather certainly do tend to flock together, while at the same time, opposites in the Earth at least, sometimes also attract (those of lack of Light are attracted to those of Light and/or vice versa).

It certainly would be convenient if only the former occurred, but then again, less collective Soul growth would occur if there wasn't any mixing/blending going on.

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posted January 01, 2020 01:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:
You need to look up the definition of high-maintenance and perhaps study a psychological article about it.

What you referred to up there is actually the definition of an insecure and shallow person. nothing to do with maintenance (high or low). A person can be very people-pleasing (opposite of self-absorbed which you mentioned above), and yet high-maintenance. Again, they have nothing to do with each other. Selfish does is not necessarily equal to high-maintenance. You can be a down to earth person but still selfish.

Always better to think deeper than putting your guard up. My "real" comment was not about you, you simply automatically assumed so.

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i actually didn't assume it was about me (but it's pretty funny that you think you know and can tell me what i think and feel without knowing me at all, do you think we have a psychic connection or some **** ? lol), i just automatically find it stupid when people who say "real man" or "real woman" just as a general thing

it's just a really ignorant thing for someone to say so i called you on it and then i commented on what you define a relationship as because who the **** is anyone to decide what's between other people based on their own personal standards? opinions arent reality that's all

i don't need to take something personally to comment on it, and i know what high maintanence means and there's subjectivity there many different definitions

but by all means if you want to get into semantics and only use your defintions rather than other possible ones give me yours and then we'll go from there since you seem pretty fixated on your definitions being the be all end all with everything

posted January 01, 2020 01:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
^ This "high-maintenance" thing has as many definitions as I don't know what...

Anyway I personally don't mind these lot unless they start eating up my pocket. Funny thing is the ones I usually encounter are pretentious butches who want to dine at nice restaurants, order expensive foods, buy expensive clothes and then make me pay for it without any shame but they themselves don't have a dime in their pocket, I'm like "WTF! " .

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These are gold-diggers my friend. A lot of women these days have let go of love (because they have refused to grow and endure any small friction in relationships). So now they are even fed up with sex (or have never had a great one in the first place), and are only looking to get married and have money and status thrown at them from heaven.

Pay attention to red flag and the slightest things you find off even during small talk. This will save you a lot of time and useless human interaction. Men and women should be much smarter (also more understanding) when in a relationship. Every relationship you encounter is karma, and not all are meant to last.

posted January 01, 2020 01:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i actually didn't assume it was about me (but it's pretty funny that you think you know and can tell me what i think and feel without knowing me at all, do you think we have a psychic connection or some **** ? lol), i just automatically find it stupid when people who say "real man" or "real woman" just as a general thing

it's just a really ignorant thing for someone to say so i called you on it and then i commented on what you define a relationship as because who the **** is anyone to decide what's between other people based on their own personal standards? opinions arent reality that's all

i don't need to take something personally to comment on it, and i know what high maintanence means and there's subjectivity there many different definitions

but by all means if you want to get into semantics and only use your defintions rather than other possible ones give me yours and then we'll go from there since you seem pretty fixated on your definitions being the be all end all with everything

you're projecting feelings onto me that i don't have, i just thought what you said was dumb and i said as much

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That's ok. I'm not here to change your opinion or anyone else's. I don't remember you specifically as a member in the first place. And as far as I know, you're not an admin, so perhaps better not to waste your valuable time "calling" others on their posts.

posted January 01, 2020 01:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I don't know whether its the Venus in Scorpio nature that likes this.But I am turned on by people who don't try too hard to look good.

When looking at them, their beauty radiates more from within(if that makes sense).But i do find people(male/female) who just keep their looks simple "sexy".Something about a shirt and blue jeans simplicity that is appealing to me.

What you said there about waiting for hours for them to get ready is funny lol. I actually have a male friend whom takes forever to get ready. He is good looking and likes to "doll" himself up and all that.

His Venus is in Taurus with Taurus Moon too.So he is typical of that sign i.e likes to smell good and look good. And will spend lots of money on clothes,cologne and "looks" associated things.

He however is not flaky and shallow-even though i first thought so when I met him lol. He just loves to look good and smell it too. He says it improves his self esteem and am all for it.

Contrary to him however, is another Taurus Venus/Pisces Moon who is less about looks and more about nature,hiking and conservation.

He is more rugged in appearance (like I am). Cleans up now and then but not too obsessive about that ie.i like growing my beard and he does too. But we both like to tidy it up etc.

He is bisexual and dated a girl whom was high maintenance (a Sag Sun, Cap Venus). I think he liked a girl to be as girly as possible and his guys to be as pretty looking as possible.

He used to spend lots of money on her because the girl followed weave and/or fashion trends a lot. She had a new hairstyle every other week. And it didn't come cheap.

I asked him once what he found so attractive about her? And his answer was honest.He said she makes him feel like a "man".

And much like someone said earlier on here about some men loving the fact that they are able to "maintain" such a woman etc. He is the same. He says it raises his confidence about his "manbood" etc.

He is currently with a guy who has Venus in Gemini. The guy is into fitness stuff and looks very "Men's Health " type of cover model.

So in a way I guess he is consistently dating his "type"?And by that I mean male/female barbie dollz.Coz the boy looks like he wakes and sleeps at the gym.

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i actually can really like that sort of thing too, i dont have a set type in any way though

my ex would take an eternity with that kind of thing, she'd ask a million questions then tell me i was just saying she looked nice to get her to leave the house or didnt look enough and it was so annoying

because i'm pretty ******* blunt when i don't like something i have no problem saying "that looks terrible dont wear that" and she knew that from years of ******** at me for being that way

posted January 01, 2020 01:39 PM            

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Originally posted by SoulOfABird:
What is your experience with these guys if any?

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how would you define "high-maintenance"?

posted January 01, 2020 01:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:

That's ok. I'm not here to change your opinion or anyone else's. I don't remember you specifically as a member in the first place. And as far as I know, you're not an admin, so perhaps better not to waste your valuable time "calling" others on their posts.

You disagree with something and call it dumb. That's what a dumb person does .

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why would i need to be an admin to tell you something you've said is dumb? funny that you go to a personal attack rather than talk about what i've said (which is what i've done with you btw, i never called you anything)

feel free to think what you'd like of me, you've already projected other **** onto me may as well add to it

you quoted me and said that **** so i responded, it's not like i out of nowhere just gave you my opinion on your thoughts

you said that directly to me not even like you said it to someone else, and while i didnt take it personal of course i'm gonna speak when i'm spoken to and give my opinion on what you said just like you did

posted January 01, 2020 01:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
The hottest one I've dated by far...

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posted January 01, 2020 01:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:
These are gold-diggers my friend. A lot of women these days have let go of love (because they have refused to grow and endure any small friction in relationships). So now they are even fed up with sex (or have never had a great one in the first place), and are only looking to get married and have money and status thrown at them from heaven.

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People give up for all kinds of reasons. I can endure a certain amount of friction.

posted January 01, 2020 03:01 PM            

for the record i define high maintenance as just that requiring high levels of maintenance regardless of whether that's on a material or emotional level

someone who needs a lot from a person they're with in one way or another without necessarily giving back because someone being high maintenance generally means there isn't balance there

if you take a lot chances are you don't give a lot, yes i've stereotyped because generally speaking certain kinds of people fit that description but that doesn't mean that's all of them or that others arent

if there's some other definition outside of the quite literal one where you look at the words "high" and "maintenance" and mash them together then i'm lost but i don't think so

people who need a lot and don't grow over the longterm and just remain that way are draining, that's just how **** works

edit: also since you told me to look it up

what does it mean?

posted January 01, 2020 08:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
I've found that narcs actually are attracted towards people who can shower them with attention really, usually someone more down-to-earth, that said, I've found narcs rather easy to manipulate, always falling for the same trick of bit of ego-stroking, and these lot are actually rather insecure within themselves. That being said, some of the most hard-working people I've encountered have also been narcs, and dare I say they've earned every right to be a narc, though most of the hard work is to look good in others' eyes, but one could learn few things from the self-care they have for themselves to be honest.

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What you describe is what I referred to earlier as, "while at the same time, opposites in the Earth at least, sometimes also attract (those of lack of Light are attracted to those of Light and/or vice versa)."

You're right in that a percentage of these like to psychologically feed off of those rather different than themselves (such as empathic and/or spiritually attuned types). They usually find out eventually first hand from experience that fellow narcs are hard to get that supply from.

Very strong Mars first, and/or Pluto and/or Saturn is often involved, (Fire Signs, Taurus, and/or Gemini, being very prominent is not uncommon either) and so there can be a lot of physical energy and/or some discipline at their disposal. This can lead to hard work, because often at the same time they are obsessed with money and power/status.

I suppose the hard work and/or discipline itself is laudable, but sure is a waste as to their focus and intention behind it. Imagine if they turned all that energy and drive towards helping to uplift others instead?

Often times spiritual types could use more energy, discipline, and/or drive, often having strong attunement to more passive archetypes like Neptune.

(DT's chart is an excellent example of the kind of patterns one finds in malignant narcs chart. Leo Mars closely conjunct Leo Asc with the Sun in Gemini, Sag Moon, a strong dose of Cancer=too much Mars+Fire + too much personal and earlier interpersonal Sign focus=MEMEMEMEME. The very close Venus Saturn conjunction doesn't help, since that can symbolize that one's heart is very closed down/fear filled.

And his case seems to be one of two narcs together--her being a more passive and lower spectrum narc, and someone that seems like a high maintenance woman).

posted January 01, 2020 09:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:
Generally speaking, it's actually quite the opposite.

Real men secretly fancy a high-maintenance woman. It is a boost to their masculinity for provide for her. And yes, I believe that the base of all relationships are the primal roles of male-female. If not, you're not lovers, you're just very good friends.

Despite this, it has to be a balanced attitude of high-maintenance that the woman presents. A woman can be high-maintenance in essence (and he knows it), yet she may very well adjust her lifestyle to her man's financial ability (this also he knows, and is what attracts him to her even more).

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I think what you meant got misrepresented, I think what you meant to say was a female creates a reason for a man to invest time into her.

Its similar to how some guys like fixing cars or repairing things...then suddenly get involved "fixing high maintenance women" by accident.

Of course it doesn't have to always be male-female thought. My sister is married to a guy who has more problems then a Chinese motorcycle...that's partly why she ended up with him..he's an endless project.

posted January 02, 2020 01:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosion:
What you describe is what I referred to earlier as, "while at the same time, opposites in the Earth at least, sometimes also attract (those of lack of Light are attracted to those of Light and/or vice versa)."

You're right in that a percentage of these like to psychologically feed off of those rather different than themselves (such as empathic and/or spiritually attuned types). They usually find out eventually first hand from experience that fellow narcs are hard to get that supply from.

Very strong Mars first, and/or Pluto and/or Saturn is often involved, (Fire Signs, Taurus, and/or Gemini, being very prominent is not uncommon either) and so there can be a lot of physical energy and/or some discipline at their disposal. This can lead to hard work, because often at the same time they are obsessed with money and power/status.

I suppose the hard work and/or discipline itself is laudable, but sure is a waste as to their focus and intention behind it. Imagine if they turned all that energy and drive towards helping to uplift others instead?

Often times spiritual types could use more energy, discipline, and/or drive, often having strong attunement to more passive archetypes like Neptune.

(DT's chart is an excellent example of the kind of patterns one finds in malignant narcs chart. Leo Mars closely conjunct Leo Asc with the Sun in Gemini, Sag Moon, a strong dose of Cancer=too much Mars+Fire + too much personal and earlier interpersonal Sign focus=MEMEMEMEME. The very close Venus Saturn conjunction doesn't help, since that can symbolize that one's heart is very closed down/fear filled.

And his case seems to be one of two narcs together--her being a more passive and lower spectrum narc, and someone that seems like a high maintenance woman).

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Having a mega drive helps in spiritual path, or so I've found, many swim, many get drowned, but if you already possess the "will" to get yourself back on the water swimming it helps, ofcourse you can just choose to simply float with the river, but some people like to climb the mountains, no matter the struggle, no matter how bigger the fall.

Neptunians are suited only for the floating path, these Martians and Saturnians are not supposed to travel from there, theirs is the path of struggle, you don't come to a lion and tell him to surrender, a lion is not going to surrender, if he does he ain't no Lion!!!

posted January 02, 2020 02:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DualGemV2:
I think what you meant to say was a female creates a reason for a man to invest time into her.

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posted January 02, 2020 02:58 AM            

Honestly I did not even know you were a man when I quoted you. Just wanted to share my own view like everybody else does.

There is a fine line between self-entitledness and calling others on their "wrong" behavior by the way.

Again you're not the admin so I ideally I shouldn't be justifying my post for you. But since you took it to heart and got hurt, I need to clarify again that my post was not about you or any other man in this forum.

And as for the topic, I think we can all agree on being "balanced-maintenance" as a key factor for long-term relationships. I also agree with DualGem that both men and women can be high-maintenance.

One thing I know for sure, is that no man really is attracted to a low-maintenance woman in the long run. She actually will lose her value in his eyes very soon.

Call me dumb or old-fashioned or any other troll words you want to spurt out online, and that's just your opinion .

posted January 02, 2020 03:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I don't know whether its the Venus in Scorpio nature that likes this.But I am turned on by people who don't try too hard to look good.

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Aries23, if I remember correctly you have moon in Cancer.

perhaps one explanation could be that because cancers are theoretically attracted to capricorns, you like people who may tend to underdress (or look as if they're underdressed)

underdressing is an attribute of capricorn and/or the 10th.

I have venus in cancer (conjunct my bf's sun), and he has this old pair of shoes and whenever he wears them I get so turned on!

posted January 02, 2020 03:39 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:

One thing I know for sure, is that no man really is attracted to a low-maintenance woman in the long run. She actually will lose her value in his eyes very soon.

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And why would that be?

posted January 02, 2020 07:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:
@Dumuzi

Honestly I did not even know you were a man when I quoted you. Just wanted to share my own view like everybody else does.

There is a fine line between self-entitledness and calling others on their "wrong" behavior by the way.

Again you're not the admin so I ideally I shouldn't be justifying my post for you. But since you took it to heart and got hurt, I need to clarify again that my post was not about you or any other man in this forum.

And as for the topic, I think we can all agree on being "balanced-maintenance" as a key factor for long-term relationships. I also agree with DualGem that both men and women can be high-maintenance.

One thing I know for sure, is that no man really is attracted to a low-maintenance woman in the long run. She actually will lose her value in his eyes very soon.

Call me dumb or old-fashioned or any other troll words you want to spurt out online, and that's just your opinion .

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what does being an admin have to do with having a conversation with someone who disagrees with you? that's just a weird thing to say, you realize that right? "only an admin on this site can question me" you started talking to me, not my fault you didnt actually want to have a conversation once i disagreed with you

also my gender is irrelevant because i didnt take it personally

it's not entitled to tell someone who responds to something that you've said that you find their views ignorant and narrowminded

i didnt interrupt your conversation with someone else to do it either (though if i did this is a public forum meant for discussions, if you don't like that or can't handle disagreements that's a you problem) i was literally only responding to something you said to me

i don't think you know what entitled means, but it definitely isnt calling ******** what it is

i already said i didnt take it personally so i'm not sure why you're continuing to tell me how i feel and what i think, it's a little odd that you're insistent on that

disagreeing with you doesnt mean i was offended, thinking that a view is ignorant and narrow minded doesnt mean i find it to be a personal slight, makes no sense

a person can go "wow i think what you've said is stupid here's why" without it being a situation where they take it as a reflection of themselves

i literally know it isnt a reflection of me because ive been in my relationships and know how much i do to maintain them etc and so on

exactly balance and high maintenance women lose value (this is only about women but obviously anyone can be) over time moreso than someone who doesnt need a surplus of anything to feel good

over the long term there needs to be balance and there isnt any when one party constantly needs more and the other is catering to them

that's not an old fashioned view either traditional views lay out a balanced set of roles for both parties to contribute to create balance within a home

a woman does x a man does y we arent talking about that

people who think high maintenance ='s valuable are usually the type who think playing games is how you keep interest rather than being a stable partner

i can assure you it's not

i didnt call you stupid i called what you said stupid, you aren't your views on a single topic

that being said i doubt it's just my opinion not that ad populum would make me right or wrong

posted January 02, 2020 11:28 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:
Aries23, if I remember correctly you have moon in Cancer.

perhaps one explanation could be that because cancers are theoretically attracted to capricorns, you like people who may tend to underdress (or look as if they're underdressed)

underdressing is an attribute of capricorn and/or the 10th.

I have venus in cancer (conjunct my bf's sun), and he has this old pair of shoes and whenever he wears them I get so turned on!

I think cancers/capricorns can rock vintage items the best!

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Hmmm..yes I do have Cancer Moon.And I do like people who look like they have "underdressed" or perhaps "modest"?

My attraction to Cap looks-wise, is there. Our personalities don't mix so well though most times.So its mostly admiration from a distance. Lol