posted May 12, 2020 09:32 PM            

But first a shortened version of the backstory... So gonna leave out most of the details.

I was kinda obsessed with him, which started 3 years ago. Originally we went out once, he told me that he doesn't wanna 'lead me in the wrong direction' since he's non religious unlike me. And that I should reach out to him in a couple of months. Like duh you want me to become like you, excuse me. He thought of me as extremely innocent.

Anyway to me it was a very dramatic unfolding lol. I didn't see reality for what it was, my being was just coiled into his existence. That's actually when I started learning about Astrology, to understand his motives better lol. Sad. Whatever. 😆

It was a whole back n forth. He had reached out to me 2 months following that. I kinda gave him the cold shoulder then. How dare he lol.

He didn't fight it. So I gave in. And reached out to him again like a good girl lol. Idiot is probably a better description.

He took it all extremely lightly. Kinda bothered me, a good friend of mine at the time told me he's playing me that I should block him. I did, simply to free my mind/emotions. It was too intense I couldn't focus on anything.

Some time had passed. I think 1 and a half years or so. I saw him in person. It was a weird coincidence actually. I was crossing the street while he was in his car right before the light had turned green for him. He saw me too, nodded. I smiled not to him even lol I smiled cuz I felt a kind of revenge I guess. That I had blocked him, b@stard lol. He's really a good guy though, I was just upset at this entire drama. Not that he's at fault, he doesn't 'need' to like me. But dude why you playin me like I'm your b1tch lol. Anyway.

Then a couple of months had passed thought I'd clear any past occurrences, explain to him what was on my mind and all. Told him that I felt that he knew I liked him and used it to ride on me. Anyway, he called me right thereafter. He was high af. I hung up told him to call me when he's sobered up. He called me the following morning, it was an odd conversation. Anyway he hung up telling me that I should call him whenever. Seriously dude. Anyway the dynamic was extremely off the next couple of months. I was acting like totally not myself. He was reacting to it weirdly too lol and I reacted to it even weirder in return. I was going crazy.

So, in February of last year I thought I'm gonna be extremely clear with him as to what's up on my end. I told him extremely bluntly that I really like him and my actions towards him are just a lack of straight-headedness (🤔 . Lol. Anyway. So he told me this. That I want something 'real and deep and emotional' and at this stage in his life he wants the opposite. And I'm pure and innocent (wtf dude lol) and he doesn't wanna hurt me. I should take some time, focus on myself and gain closure.

As oddly as it sounds, that was the most freeing thing I've heard in the two years of this back and forth. It hurt I'm not gonna say, but I felt an immediate relief. And although I thought about him a lot still, it was with no emotion attached. Just the 'memory' of me liking him was there.

And, I told everyone that I told this story to, watch me he's gonna come back. I knew or felt that he was kinda into me too. Although he's 5 years younger than me, which also made me feel extremely insulted and acted out of ego more than anything, albeit pretty stupid.

Anyway, just yesterday morning he added me as a friend on Snapchat. I did not accept it. And before I get ahead of myself I wanna know if it actually means anything. And if yes, what. Cuz, note that it's been a year and 3 months where he was extremely clear with me that he 'doesn't wanna hurt me' or whatever bs lol. And now that he's coming into my life again, is he trying to go back to his original act even if he 'so badly' doesn't wanna hurt me? Or is he just bored during this pandemic? He's a very charming guy though I'm sure he can find many other women that he can either flirt or hang out with. Why would he reach out to someone he cut off a year ago? Is he trying to get his ego fluffed up?

His placements:
Pisces Sun conjunct Mars
Leo Moon (changes from Cancer that day, but I'm pretty darn certain his is Leo)
Aquarius Mercury
Aries Venus

His ascendant 'I believe' is Libra.

Anyway, my first thought when he requested me was don't be such a pu**y and message me like a decent human being. However, I remember thinking when he cut me off last that I'm curious how he'd be reaching out again. Since when he cut me off he didn't want anything serious, and he's too young at heart to bring up the opposite, that he does want something serious. So I was curious 'how' he'll go about it. So technically this is typical of his Mars, implying sorta. Or maybe he is in fact just trying to play me again during this pandemic lol. Anyway I dunno. My brother tells me don't act like a typical girl and ask him what he wants. Lol. But anyway, I'm sure this ain't gonna work with him. He's too scared of anything serious I can feel it. He also has Uranus opposite Moon and square Venus. So asking him what he wants is so not gonna work with him. I either need to play along and ride with it, or not. But I dunno his motives. He also has zero Saturn contacts in his natal. Except for a semi-sextile to Venus and out of sign very wide trine to his Moon.

posted May 13, 2020 03:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
I would just ask him what he wants. If it doesn't work with him, then his attitude also shouldn't work in his favour - you would be doing that, if you play his game.

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posted May 13, 2020 03:52 PM            

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Originally posted by vansio:
Clearly sounds like a dick—why does he matter?

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Lol vansio question of all time.

In all honesty, he probably isn't as bad as I made him out to be. He might have 'reasons' for the stuff he did. But, it's what I saw it as on my end. That he's a classic dick. And I dunno why he matters this much, he really shouldn't.

Actually I was gonna ignore it altogether, I've reached this point in my life where guys don't mean much to me altogether. But, given that he did at one point mean a whole lot, I thought lemme just tackle this a bit. Not that I'm into it still. I'm so over it. But still thought, for the sake of my past self lol, see what's up.

posted May 13, 2020 11:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Lol vansio question of all time.

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posted May 14, 2020 02:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by vansio:
Thank my Aries Venus lol

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posted May 14, 2020 03:23 PM            

True words. Although it's already too late lol. And you were right, he 'just' added me.

I told him that a year ago he was very clear on how he doesn't wanna hurt me due to my 'innocence'. I asked him if he thought my composition changed or sumtin. He told me I'm overthinking it. Such a dog lol. And that he just went through his Snap contacts, saw me and added me.

Anyway, whatever. I'm an idiot. Too impressionable. I should probably continue focusing on getting a life lol.

posted May 14, 2020 05:07 PM            

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Originally posted by Librapurr:
I saw mostly girls doing it, some guys too. When they are going through some things or just bored, they reach out to old admires to get some ego-bust giving them false hopes consciously or unconsciously.
He sounds like a player. So he might call you innocent because he felt like he can trigger something in you or to make behave in a different way.

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posted May 15, 2020 12:50 PM            

Try to let him go Babe. holding yourself back if you continue to fixate on the difficulty, in lieu of true values, when really trying to justify the time we’ve used processing what relating has brought up in ourselves as a person. Don’t be upset with yourself, because now you can stop behaving this way sexually, at the very least being attracted to it (power struggles).

You might be better off being honest, telling him youre not interested in staying connected.. even asking him to not contact you again, including revoking the access socially, online. But if you go this route, you must be unmoving in this realization, because toxic masculinity does have a habit of retaliating against perceived rejection.

posted May 15, 2020 03:57 PM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
I agree with vansio. Why do you still bother? This guy is probably reading you like a book by now. He knows you will grab the carrot he dangles... you always did.

Don't overanalyse guys. He only added you on snapchat. What makes you think he wants anything more than that? I will not suggest that you reach out to him because that just shows you're biting the carrot he dangles (again). If you're dying of curiosity, simply accept his snapchat request and see what he does next. He adds you, you accept...you're just being friendly... nothing wrong, but if you start messaging him asking what he wants etc then it's showing that you're "triggered". If he's really keen to reignite something with you, he will surely text you. If not, then all's not lost.

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I suggested asking what he wants, because she wrote this long post. I reconnected with someone a year ago, but I wasn't eating out of his hand. I had things I wanted to get off my chest, and we talked the way we should have a decade ago. We had more of a history, though.

posted May 15, 2020 03:58 PM            

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
@Hikaru

True words. Although it's already too late lol. And you were right, he 'just' added me.

I told him that a year ago he was very clear on how he doesn't wanna hurt me due to my 'innocence'. I asked him if he thought my composition changed or sumtin. He told me I'm overthinking it. Such a dog lol. And that he just went through his Snap contacts, saw me and added me.

Anyway, whatever. I'm an idiot. Too impressionable. I should probably continue focusing on getting a life lol.

Thanks to everyone, I appreciate your input.

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posted May 15, 2020 04:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by vansio:
I’m not sure who’s playing who first, but you’ve been playing yourself with this narrative. When anything feels like a game, strategized, it’s likely not real to begin with. Hard to knock oneself down a notch when realizing how much energy we’ve put into amping up make-believe to appease our ego, our lust. Your misplaced anger [at the dynamic] is likely the result having always known very deep down this will not work for you, a vengeance for redeeming your neglected intuition. Becomes Hard to truly lie to oneself—hence the all round negativity towards “him” (power), constant self-defense.

Try to let him go Babe. holding yourself back if you continue to fixate on the difficulty, in lieu of true values, when really trying to justify the time we’ve used processing what relating has brought up in ourselves as a person. Don’t be upset with yourself, because now you can stop behaving this way sexually, at the very least being attracted to it (power struggles).

You might be better off being honest, telling him youre not interested in staying connected.. even asking him to not contact you again, including revoking the access socially, online. But if you go this route, you must be unmoving in this realization, because toxic masculinity does have a habit of retaliating against perceived rejection.

Don’t let him feed off your energy if thought of it genuinely irks you.

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