posted August 15, 2020 03:11 PM            

My sun is conjunct mars less than a degree, along with mercury. These 3 are also parallel, making them occulted, and my Pluto is also parallel these 3, conjunct my descendent and chart ruler Venus. My sun/mars/mercury occultation is the apex to my t-square in the 6th house, squaring jupiter 3rd house opposing Saturn/Neptune/Uranus in the 8/9 house.

I’d say ever since my Saturn started to approach my Saturn return and in my 9th house, I’ve been dealing with a lot of inner frustrations and anger. Growing up, I had a very volatile and naturally aggressive temper as well as environment so maybe they are tied together but it took me a long time to really shed a lot of layers and try to work on myself, I feel like I did so much in my 20s trying to really tame that part of myself I really feel like a new person. But as of the past few years a lot of depression and anger has really started to rise again and I’m at a point where I’m considering saying that I have anger problems because it’s been getting harder and harder for me to control my temper, like before I really made an effort to alter my words and thoughts and now I catch myself more frequently getting impulsive with angry words. It’s mainly and probably a continuous problem with my dad, fighting, blowing up and yelling is a normal with him and it really bums me out sometimes and makes me feel bad. He’s also sun/mars/mercury conjunct but in the 1st house with an Aries moon and Pluto on his Ascendent 12th house too. He always resorts to name calling and manipulation and it’s definitely a trigger for me. I get so frustrated being told what I’m thinking and seeing myself get manipulated or like someone gets the upper hand on me I just loose it and I can feel my voice start to raise until I’m yelling and ****** ugh and as you can imagine being like this is 100% stressful for my libra/Taurus placements and Venus that just wants to keep everything pleasant and people to like me. I feel like this has been happening a lot in my dating arena too. Like once things start to escalate it’s hard to calm down, and if I start to feel any kind of manipulation or lies or just being dismissed I loose my **** and I don’t want to. I can’t tell, like is it the people I’m dealing with? Or is it me.. I know it’s partway me and how I react and I know I can be super intense. But I also can’t stand having my head messed with and gaslighted and I can’t tell if I’m blowing that out of proportion and seeing demons that don’t exist or I’m really validated in reacting to that, but I don’t want to be reacting at all.

Maybe it’s my t -square with the 3/6/9 that makes all that anger feel really disorientated like I get mentally confused and really overwhelmed? But it seems like that chaotic craziness won’t ever go away in my head. So I’m trying to work on it, I could be more consistent with meditating and trying to work out. But it’s hard I get really stuck in my art ruts and in my head a lot.

Sometimes I really feel like my prominent mars/Pluto is teaching me a giant lesson on my anger and how to master my impulses and love in entirety, and I mean that In seeing the whole and love necessary in that darkness and rage too. Like I can’t be pleasant and lovely all of the times, I’m not perfect, but I can still love myself and others even in their dirtiest moments because when I’m angry I feel like that’s when I need a hug the most because it’s when I feel the most lonely and misunderstood.

posted August 16, 2020 02:01 AM            

quote:

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Maybe it’s my t -square with the 3/6/9 that makes all that anger feel really disorientated like I get mentally confused and really overwhelmed? But it seems like that chaotic craziness won’t ever go away in my head. So I’m trying to work on it, I could be more consistent with meditating and trying to work out. But it’s hard I get really stuck in my art ruts and in my head a lot.

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Note that the Sun makes a 64th harmonic aspect to both Neptune and Jupiter, and is well-within the 17-deg-conjunction-orb for it to combust both Mars and Mercury. Moreover, Libra is the sign of detriment for Mars and fall for the Sun - with both being uncomfortable in the 6th house, and neither receiving any positive aspects from other planets (to ease their difficulty in manifesting positively). ... And this is then exacerbated by the interception of Libra + Sun + Mars.

So ... I suspect that Mars (rather than Pluto) is what you need to look at here ... because :-

1) The 64th harmonic aspect = (unconsciously) "striving to manifest situations where you will experience the repercussions of needlessly creating difficulties with others".

2) The interception prevents the positive qualities of Libra/Sun/Mars from being used effectively, until you have resolved a 3rd+9th house issue (which will be adversely affecting the activities of the 4th+10th houses).