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Author Topic:   Venus-Mars Conjunction and Relationship Drama
Snake Lady
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Posts: 65
From: Austin, Texas
Registered: Aug 2011

posted September 15, 2020 05:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Snake Lady     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So, yes, just like the title suggests, I do wonder if a Venus-Mars conjunction causes a tendency for one to attract relationships with a lot of drama. Granted, I do have Mars square Pluto as well, so that's probably a big factor, but someone once told me that in his Vedic astrology reading, they told him that because of his Mars-Venus conjunction he tends to have a lot of relationships that break up. That sounded really vague to me, but I wondered if there's something to it.

Any thoughts? Anyone with a similar experience?

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***Whatsoever desires one entertains
That he definitely obtains***
~ Guru Gita

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Randall
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Posts: 131795
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 16, 2020 05:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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Odette
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Posts: 6932
From:
Registered: May 2012

posted September 16, 2020 08:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know what you mean. This is definitely a dramatic aspect.
I have the Venus/Mars trine - and Pluto is involved in my cocktail as well.. Venus opp Pluto and Mars sextile Pluto.

All the Venus/Mars aspects can bring some drama both in the natal chart and in the synastry... but the most dramatic of all is the square.

I think the issues start because of the high ideals.

Everyone I know with a Venus/Mars aspect has a really strong feeling of - wanting a relationship - and wanting things to be perfectly "in sync".. that perfect animus to your anima.. and they also know, on a deep level, that this is possible... and that it can be beautiful and amazing.

But reality doesn't always match that ideal... or it might for moments in time... but not forever. At other times things are more "work" than play... which Venus/Mars won't be very happy about.

When you are in a relationship with a person who does not have a Venus/Mars aspect (the majority of people you meet and interact with, won't have this aspect!)... they won't totally understand your need and desire for that amazing, passionate connection... To them, you might seem like a perpetual teenager who is looking for their next crush.

Their take on relationships is usually more realistic or "commonplace".. and they can seem dismissive of romance... like it's not all that important... or meaningful.
For instance, maybe they see relationships in a "family" kind of way.. like you get married, have kids.. make sure they're happy and fed... etc...

For a person with Venus/Mars... having that kind of familiarity with their wife or husband.. where they end up being more like best friends who had kids together - that is their worst nightmare.
They don't want this.
They want the adventure and the romance to be long lasting...

So, when things end up getting boring... and the Venus/Mars person feels like their S/O is not as passionate and crazy about them - or - crazy about love in general - as they, themselves are..... they can end up (even subconsciously) creating drama and starting arguments - break-up/make-up patterns...

It makes them feel upset and anxious when they don't feel that strong chemistry.. and the passion... They perpetually feel like the S/O is "not that into them"... when in reality that's just the way many people are... in their daily lives...

But this behaviour can seem disinterested and dismissive for someone with Venus/Mars who is more energetic and passionate.

My only advice with this - would be to try to date other people with the Venus/Mars aspect!

I've come to the conclusion that I don't think I could have a genuinely happy relationship with someone who does not get this side of me. Even if the aspect is in different signs to yours.. and even if there is no contact in the synastry - it would still be good for them to have this in natal... because they'll be able to relate to you on that level.. and they won't roll their eyes when you explain what you want and how you feel!

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Snake Lady
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Posts: 65
From: Austin, Texas
Registered: Aug 2011

posted September 16, 2020 09:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Snake Lady     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, this makes a lot of sense.

My partner does have a Venus/Mars conjunction and not quite square Pluto (7 degree orb.. seems a bit much at that point), but the Venus/Mars conj. is in Cancer and his Moon is conj. Pluto, so in that way I can see a Pluto connection with him as well. We have had a good amount of drama in our relationship, mostly due to jealousy and feelings of inadequacy on his part. He also used to get a lot more insecure about my busy school schedule and take it personally that I didn't have as much time for him as he wanted. But we both have really intense feelings for each other and that part we both like and appreciate.

I have Mars/Venus conj. in Leo, so I cannot stand jealous partners... I take it as an insult to my innate loyalty (I am also a Cancer with Cancer Moon). That's been the main thing that's made me consider leaving the relationship.

Thankfully he is now doing some pretty intense work on his inner child and it seems to be helping him a lot.
I think we are both coming to terms with the idea of being friends as well as lovers as that kind of "fun, creative" energy was what brought us together in the first place (both of our 7th house rulers are in our respective 5th houses).

Thank you for your perspective! It was very insightful.


quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
I know what you mean. This is definitely a dramatic aspect.
I have the Venus/Mars trine - and Pluto is involved in my cocktail as well.. Venus opp Pluto and Mars sextile Pluto.

All the Venus/Mars aspects can bring some drama both in the natal chart and in the synastry... but the most dramatic of all is the square.

I think the issues start because of the high ideals.

Everyone I know with a Venus/Mars aspect has a really strong feeling of - wanting a relationship - and wanting things to be perfectly "in sync".. that perfect animus to your anima.. and they also know, on a deep level, that this is possible... and that it can be beautiful and amazing.

But reality doesn't always match that ideal... or it might for moments in time... but not forever. At other times things are more "work" than play... which Venus/Mars won't be very happy about.

When you are in a relationship with a person who does not have a Venus/Mars aspect (the majority of people you meet and interact with, won't have this aspect!)... they won't totally understand your need and desire for that amazing, passionate connection... To them, you might seem like a perpetual teenager who is looking for their next crush.

Their take on relationships is usually more realistic or "commonplace".. and they can seem dismissive of romance... like it's not all that important... or meaningful.
For instance, maybe they see relationships in a "family" kind of way.. like you get married, have kids.. make sure they're happy and fed... etc...

For a person with Venus/Mars... having that kind of familiarity with their wife or husband.. where they end up being more like best friends who had kids together - that is their worst nightmare.
They don't want this.
They want the adventure and the romance to be long lasting...

So, when things end up getting boring... and the Venus/Mars person feels like their S/O is not as passionate and crazy about them - or - crazy about love in general - as they, themselves are..... they can end up (even subconsciously) creating drama and starting arguments - break-up/make-up patterns...

It makes them feel upset and anxious when they don't feel that strong chemistry.. and the passion... They perpetually feel like the S/O is "not that into them"... when in reality that's just the way many people are... in their daily lives...

But this behaviour can seem disinterested and dismissive for someone with Venus/Mars who is more energetic and passionate.

My only advice with this - would be to try to date other people with the Venus/Mars aspect!

I've come to the conclusion that I don't think I could have a genuinely happy relationship with someone who does not get this side of me. Even if the aspect is in different signs to yours.. and even if there is no contact in the synastry - it would still be good for them to have this in natal... because they'll be able to relate to you on that level.. and they won't roll their eyes when you explain what you want and how you feel!


------------------
***Whatsoever desires one entertains
That he definitely obtains***
~ Guru Gita

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Somna7H
Knowflake

Posts: 1384
From: East India Company
Registered: Apr 2018

posted September 17, 2020 03:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Somna7H     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Snake Lady:
Mars-Venus conjunction he tends to have a lot of relationships that break up.


I use to know(partially) someone with Mars Conjunct Venus Conjunct Asc. She is very secretive. She had multiple relationship with men also I think with couple of women too. She is ver proud because of her each and every action. I think these people don't satisfied with one that's why they like changes. Or may be it's very hard to make them happy for any average person like me.

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My Chat : http://imgur.com/hCRDawD

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hearttreasure
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Posts: 1115
From:
Registered: Jan 2015

posted September 17, 2020 03:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hearttreasure     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have Venus/Mars square tight.

While it's true that all of my relationship is quite dramatic, but it's because I tend to attract insecure person intensely. Jealousy, possessiveness, and control are the most main problem in the beginning of the relationship and I usually can't stand of it which will cause me end the relationship first, and the problem continue as the other person always comes back. I'm not the one who will try to hold the relationship just because I love them, if it is toxic, I can easily break up.

I don't think I have a strong feeling to have a relationship, it's quite the opposite.

Every relationship I have is usually the men chase so hard, which end up in a dramatic way. I don't think I'm popular, but at the same time you can't deny that you once nominated as "the sexiest" among your coworkers and all the men voted you. The most surprising and embarrassing moment because they didn't tell me anything and I didn't know they voted including my bf (ex) at the time. I don't wear sexy clothes, but they say it's the way how I present myself but I don't realize that. I'm actually a person who like to hide because I feel like I always attract people in the room once I interact, people can easily remember me. I'm not saying I'm a shy person, I just prefer not being in the center.

Some women might accuse me as "a play girl", just because they see men are easily attracted to me and I don't have any problem to hang out with them like we are dating. Those women fail to see, I use my brain most of the time than my feelings.

The only thing I want in a relationship is: "a responsibility", as a husband/wife, as a father/mother, as a lover/spouse, and it's fine as a best friend, if my lover/spouse think I am also his best friend it's a compliment for me. I don't understand what it means to be an adventure in a relationship, romance is fine as long as it's not too much.

I get bored easily in a relationship if the person keeps doing the same mistakes (like, they don't take any lesson from what happened), too many arguments/fights like too many of dramas, lots of stupid insecurity of testing, no brainer, dull personality.

I prefer stability and harmony in a marriage especially if there's children. If I can't have a team work with my spouse to create it living in a house with children, I prefer a divorce.

Strong chemistry or passion isn't a guarantee for me whether the s/o is into me or not, I watch the behavior instead. If I feel secure with his behavior then it's the sign. Chemistry and passion, for me, feels like about sexual compatibility and, yes, my venus/mars square needs give/take that hot, passionate, strong connection sex, that's it. I think I can also sense those strong sexual vibe from other venus/mars square individual, have met one man with those placement.


quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
I know what you mean. This is definitely a dramatic aspect.
I have the Venus/Mars trine - and Pluto is involved in my cocktail as well.. Venus opp Pluto and Mars sextile Pluto.

All the Venus/Mars aspects can bring some drama both in the natal chart and in the synastry... but the most dramatic of all is the square.

I think the issues start because of the high ideals.

Everyone I know with a Venus/Mars aspect has a really strong feeling of - wanting a relationship - and wanting things to be perfectly "in sync".. that perfect animus to your anima.. and they also know, on a deep level, that this is possible... and that it can be beautiful and amazing.

But reality doesn't always match that ideal... or it might for moments in time... but not forever. At other times things are more "work" than play... which Venus/Mars won't be very happy about.

When you are in a relationship with a person who does not have a Venus/Mars aspect (the majority of people you meet and interact with, won't have this aspect!)... they won't totally understand your need and desire for that amazing, passionate connection... To them, you might seem like a perpetual teenager who is looking for their next crush.

Their take on relationships is usually more realistic or "commonplace".. and they can seem dismissive of romance... like it's not all that important... or meaningful.
For instance, maybe they see relationships in a "family" kind of way.. like you get married, have kids.. make sure they're happy and fed... etc...

For a person with Venus/Mars... having that kind of familiarity with their wife or husband.. where they end up being more like best friends who had kids together - that is their worst nightmare.
They don't want this.
They want the adventure and the romance to be long lasting...

So, when things end up getting boring... and the Venus/Mars person feels like their S/O is not as passionate and crazy about them - or - crazy about love in general - as they, themselves are..... they can end up (even subconsciously) creating drama and starting arguments - break-up/make-up patterns...

It makes them feel upset and anxious when they don't feel that strong chemistry.. and the passion... They perpetually feel like the S/O is "not that into them"... when in reality that's just the way many people are... in their daily lives...

But this behaviour can seem disinterested and dismissive for someone with Venus/Mars who is more energetic and passionate.

My only advice with this - would be to try to date other people with the Venus/Mars aspect!

I've come to the conclusion that I don't think I could have a genuinely happy relationship with someone who does not get this side of me. Even if the aspect is in different signs to yours.. and even if there is no contact in the synastry - it would still be good for them to have this in natal... because they'll be able to relate to you on that level.. and they won't roll their eyes when you explain what you want and how you feel!


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Aries23Degrees
Knowflake

Posts: 8514
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012

posted September 17, 2020 06:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^^"Perpetual teenager"😳 . So aptly put.

I really struggled to get my Venus/Mars semi-sextile aspect.This was apt.

The midpoint of the two conjuncts Pluto. And Mars conjuncts 7th from 6th with Venus/Sat conj in the 7th.

I want the romantic story to continue. I want to feel love and passion within the relationship. This to a point where I am totally fixed about this & insist on it (Ven/Sat conj).

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Librapurr
Knowflake

Posts: 581
From:
Registered: Jul 2019

posted September 17, 2020 11:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Librapurr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Most of it sounds more like hard aspects. I donít think my conjunction likes drama.
Maybe, I have hard time to quit in time when Iíve already seen that itís not what I need. Life often helps me out by creating situations what force me to stop.
Since itís retrograde conj., Itís not that fun. I want some chase, but donít attract people who knows how to do it properly or generally donít have good people skill.

I often think Iíd make a much better male character . Iíd have a bunch of women after me if I were a boy. Iíd show them how itís supposed to be done.😏 As a girl, I have some desire to chase. In the same time, I have the stereotype itís a man part to play. And if I get somebody this way, It wonít be satisfying.

The first stages of dating are more frustrating and dramatic. Once relationships are established, Iím more laid back. Here, my partner gets frustrated ďit was much more fun beforeĒ.

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teasel
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Posts: 15635
From: http://forum.astro.com/cgi/forum.cgi?action=viewprofile;username=u36170365
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 17, 2020 03:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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