posted October 27, 2020 04:11 PM            

For instance, my Mom and my Aunty, aren’t the biggest fan of my partner/1st crush since Christmas 2012. They’re judging him because he’s had feelings for me since Spring 2013, and never confessed until last year. After his confession, he broke up with his girlfriend of 4 years. She’s his sister’s best friend since 2002,
and he lived with her for 3 1/2 years (to save on spending on rent I think). He mainly left her because he believes his spiritual connection with me, had/has more substance than anything he ever had with her.

I’m very happy with him, and feel like we’re “fated”; since our parents have been best friends since 1981, before we were both born. This is Rodney’s chart: http://u.cubeupload.com/TravelTings/29C243CCAD0E4A8EAD18.png

posted October 27, 2020 04:55 PM            

viewed as cheating because the psychological damage caused to the [jilted] ex-lover is a moral issue

posted October 27, 2020 04:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by vansio:
It’s called monkey branching

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technically that's more if someone always does that and has back up because they can't bear the idea of being alone

posted October 27, 2020 08:13 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
technically that's more if someone always does that and has back up because they can't bear the idea of being alone

if it's a one time thing not a habit it's different

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posted October 27, 2020 08:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by vansio:
It’s called monkey branching

viewed as cheating because the psychological damage caused to the [jilted] ex-lover is a moral issue

Best of luck; hopefully the spiritual component is dutifully directed to god and not each other

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posted October 27, 2020 10:54 PM            

Personally, if my partner stopped loving me and had feelings for someone else, I wouldn't want him. Why would I force him to stay with me, while he is yearning for someone else? That is so yucky to me.

Now, if we happen to be in a marriage, that is more complex. I would give it more time, to see if those feelings are fleeting, or really profound. Sometimes people get infatuated, and the feelings are not deep. It might be worth for the marriage to give it some time and navigate that storm. But if it turns out the feelings are deep, then, I would assume the feelings he had for me were never deep or profound to begin with.

posted October 28, 2020 12:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:
Cheating to me is someone going behind your back and conducting a full blown relationship or having sex with someone else while pretending to be faithful.

It is the lies involved that I consider cheating.

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posted October 28, 2020 01:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Plut0nian2:

...I wish all people were so sincere.
What he's done is the opposite of cheating.
Just make sure he isn't selling you a dream for financial or other reasons, since you said he was living with his ex for lower rent etc.

Relationship nowadays end sooner rather than later but I prefer it to the older dead longterm relationship trend. I find this one healthier. We can't control our feelings, just like you can't accuse someome for not having feelings for you, you can't accuse someone because he stopped having feelings for you. I see it as crazy as accusing someone for dying from a serious illness he didn't choose himself in the first place.
However we can control our actions and what he's done would make me feel that he is more sincere and trustworthy than most. At least the possibilities of him cheating you (having feelings/sex with others behind your back) are lower. So I find your family's judgement/opinion irrational.

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posted October 28, 2020 01:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
I also don't consider this cheating. A lot of relationships don't last, unfortunately. Some people fall outta love and that's not like they committed some kind of sin. I rather let them go if they don't love me anymore because forcing each other together will only cause prolonged misery.

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