posted January 13, 2021 08:52 PM            

I’m nearing my mid-30s... and this might be because there is a guy in my life who keeps bringing up marriage 🤔... but I guess I’m more open to the idea these days..
For most of my life I didn’t even think about getting married at all ... almost like it’s some alien thing that only “other people” do... but it’s not for me lol I know how odd that sounds...

I’ve been engaged three times but in my mind I wasn’t really seeing myself as “married”... I kind of felt rushed into those situations.

Anyways.. now I’m re-considering... the whole marriage thing loll

posted January 13, 2021 10:02 PM            

my ex and i were together for over a decade without that and it never really mattered to me, glad i didn't in that case because that would've been awful

the break up was hard enough as far as cutting her out of my life went i imagine a divorce would've made that way harder

we're probably around the same age, i have mars-neptune in cap too (i'm 34)

posted January 13, 2021 10:13 PM            

I have Neptune/DSC conjunct. Mars is in 6th house and with 6 orb.
Now I'm seeing Uranus/DSC parallel playing in my relationship

I want to get married and not a wedding. If anything I prefer something more intimate and away from announcing it to the world.

Immediate family is the most I can handle. I do notice I don't bring up about having a wedding. It isn't one of my dreams. Signing the papers is good enough.

I'm also satisfied not being married or kids if it add stress to the relationship. It depends who this person I am with. I just want to grow old together and also be able to have independent lives

posted January 13, 2021 11:20 PM            

quote:

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Maybe.

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awwwwwwwwwwwww....... I was so sure you’d say... *gulp*... ‘yes’... 😢

posted January 13, 2021 11:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
awwwwwwwwwwwww....... I was so sure you’d say... *gulp*... ‘yes’... 😢

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posted January 14, 2021 12:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SimplyLuna:
Odette and Dumuzi it sounds like we may have similar chart and around the same age.

I have Neptune/DSC conjunct. Mars is in 6th house and with 6 orb.
Now I'm seeing Uranus/DSC parallel playing in my relationship

I want to get married and not a wedding. If anything I prefer something more intimate and away from announcing it to the world.

Immediate family is the most I can handle. I do notice I don't bring up about having a wedding. It isn't one of my dreams. Signing the papers is good enough.

I'm also satisfied not being married or kids if it add stress to the relationship. It depends who this person I am with. I just want to grow old together and also be able to have independent lives

Also I do feel disappointed easily. Im working on this though...

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i actually feel that way about weddings too, the idea of a big wedding is off putting to me seems like it means more for it to be intimate instead of being a show for other people

@Odette

yup that's the ex 🤣 that would've been an awful mistake

thankfully she gave up after about a year of offering me drugs to see her, threatening me with cops, reaching out to my mother, digging up social media accounts i forgot existed etc

i'm not worried about her just showing up anymore at any rate, for a while that was a concern with how she was getting at points (and how she had been), but had there been any legal obligation that would have been awful

i remember one point a couple months before the break up i told her i thought i wanted to end things and for her to go and she actually said "no we're not breaking up and you'll need the cops to escort me out" 🤣 i got so drunk because i didn't even know what to do at that point because i was just floored by her telling me "no" about it

imagine trying to divorce that, holy ****

they're in my 3rd house in placidus, mars is loosely conjunct neptune on one side then loosely conjunct my ic on the other (it being on my ic is definitely fitting given my childhood)

posted January 14, 2021 02:56 AM            

...but marry the wrong person and you'll be more unhappier then before you were single.

For now I feel i'm in a much better position not to get married because I'd loose the ablity to do certain things if I was.

For example, Laugh away if you may, I could wake up tomorrow and say...

...sell everything then buy a plot of land in the middle nowhere grow my own food and build my own cabin.

I whould never be able to "play that card" if I was married.

My Planets
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☉‘ ♊, ☽ ♈, ASC ♑, ☿ ♊, ¡÷ ♉, ¡ö ♋ , ♃ ♒, ♄ ♏, ♅ ♐, ♆ ♑

posted January 14, 2021 07:39 AM            

If we are to get a divorce, and it’s been mentioned, I will NEVER get married again! And at the age of 44 I can say this with 100% certainty.

posted January 14, 2021 08:18 AM            

I never like the wedding ra-ra... so tiring and unnecessary. I would rather spend the money on renovating our home and go on a nice honeymoon. What also makes me really uncomfortable is to walk down the aisle with all eyes on me. I don’t like such attention. I’d probably just throw a beach party with our friends.

posted January 14, 2021 08:25 AM            

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posted January 15, 2021 05:32 AM            

I attract a lot of Pisces... very very often it has been Pisces Moon... but also Sun or Mars in Pisces. Sometimes I feel like they are the ones who are more idealistic... but maybe I’m projecting my Neptune since it’s in my 7th.. and maybe they are just mirroring my own projections? *shrug*

It’s complicated.. Pisces can be people pleasers and I honestly can’t tell whether it is me being delusional or them acting out a role to make sure I like them.. because they put me on a pedestal.

posted January 15, 2021 05:51 AM            

I need to always have the door open to do as I please, whenever I want. Glad that's my life. I'd be divorced for sure if I'd have married or if not divorced stuck in a fuc king miserable marriage.

posted January 15, 2021 06:44 AM            

I have a section were I pile all my garbage and recycling to take out...

I got up and one part of me said, its time to finally take out the garbage as i've basically let it accumulate.

..I don't think I need to get married to be nagged at, the other twin in me will nag me to get things done.

posted January 15, 2021 07:31 AM            

quote:

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I don't think I need to get married to be nagged at, the other twin in me will nag me to get things done.

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Lollll 😂😂😂
My AC is Gemini so I relate haha

posted January 15, 2021 07:36 AM            

quote:

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I like the idea of basically becoming one with that person you love. So cliche I know lol

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Actually it’s not cliche... That’s very deep.... but it’s a kind of emotional depth most people are scared of.
And I think I’m one of them..

posted January 15, 2021 11:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SoulOfABird:
I wish to get married one day. I personally am for marriage because I like the idea of basically becoming one with that person you love. So cliche I know lol

My 7th house is in Leo, but Virgo takes up most of it. My mars and NN are there. Other than that, not much 7th house in my chart.

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posted January 15, 2021 12:30 PM            

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posted January 15, 2021 05:39 PM            

I never wanted to get married, certainly not as young as I ended up marrying. But I was like you, SimplyLuna - no wedding, no fanfare, no hullabaloo! We signed the papers and didn't even get rings. For the same reason Dumuzi said: "it means more for it to be intimate instead of being a show for other people". I had the exact same attitude: it's not about other people, it's about us, and it's a private intimate thing and I don't need "the hell of other people" ruining it lol. I didn't even post about it on social media. It's so personal and private and nobody's business! I wonder if our Cappy Neptunes affect our attitudes, or if it's my Neptune conjunct Uranus in the 7th.

That being said, my best friend born three days after me did have a wedding during the pandemic. But she is more traditional and from a more traditional family. Her husband was not passionate about marriage for its own sake, but he did it for her because it was important for her. I think he's a couple years younger than her though. Also, her parents have been happily married for decades while his parents are not happily married. I think our perception of our parents' marriage affects our attitudes more.

My Juno is in the 10th, which I have read as being "married to career" or marrying FOR career/status. That wasn't the case with my marriage, but getting married was not as romantic as it was practically motivated. (I was turning 26 and he wanted me to have health insurance; later on I ended up supporting him when he lost his job.) We were and are deeply in love, and I adore him, but love is not why we got married. Marriage is just legal stuff that has nothing to do with your feelings. Like Dumuzi said about "becoming one", "marriage isn't what does that, that's something deeper not bound by legal contracts".

DualGem, it's so funny you mention that if you got married you wouldn't be able to "sell everything then buy a plot of land in the middle nowhere grow my own food and build my own cabin" - that's EXACTLY what my husband and I want to do together, and honestly, I could NOT do it without him! lol. So I wouldn't be able to "play that card" if I was not married. There is a lot more I'm able to do with his support, in both practical and emotional ways.

But I feel like charlie said: if I get divorced, I do not want to remarry. Like everything in life, marriage is a trade-off. You trade off some things and gain other things. It's just a matter of whether the trade-off is worth it to you. Anyway I could go on a long rant about this!

It's true if you marry the "wrong" person it's much worse than being single, but I also think everyone marries the "wrong" person i.e. there is no "right" person. I like this short video about why we will all marry the "wrong" person - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuKV2DI9-Jg

(I promise I am not as naive as I might sound! I witnessed very abusive relationships between my mother and other men after she divorced my father after 20 years of peaceful marriage to him. I think people think they're supposed to feel "in love" 24/7 with their partner but that is just unrealistic... it is a commitment and you may have to push through months or even years of unhappiness sometimes. Again there's no one-size-fits-all and it depends on what trade-offs you're willing to make. In general I think we can be a little idealistic/naive/lacking in humility and grit when it comes to love and relationships. That may be the "rose colored glasses" Ami Anne mentioned with Neptune in the 7th - I definitely was that way before.)

posted January 15, 2021 06:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
How do you feel about marriage?
Do you want to get married one day? Are you already married? Happily or not? Have you ever been through a divorce? Would you re-marry, if you did?

I’m nearing my mid-30s... and this might be because there is a guy in my life who keeps bringing up marriage 🤔... but I guess I’m more open to the idea these days..
For most of my life I didn’t even think about getting married at all ... almost like it’s some alien thing that only “other people” do... but it’s not for me lol I know how odd that sounds...

I’ve been engaged three times but in my mind I wasn’t really seeing myself as “married”... I kind of felt rushed into those situations.

Anyways.. now I’m re-considering... the whole marriage thing loll

I have Mars/Neptune in Capricorn close to my DC... What does your 7th house look like? I’m curious how this relates to our views on marriage.

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I think been married is challenging, I think been single is challenging, and I think dating is challenging but I like companionship, I like having a best friend I live with and I think I prefer to ride out the hard times and fight together than to be single as a lifestyle but if you enjoy the dating life style and been single I think that is super cool and support you on it.

posted January 16, 2021 06:44 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by

sashavittoria:

...
DualGem, it's so funny you mention that if you got married you wouldn't be able to [b]"sell everything then buy a plot of land in the middle nowhere grow my own food and build my own cabin" - that's EXACTLY what my husband and I want to do together, and honestly, I could NOT do it without him! lol. So I wouldn't be able to "play that card" if I was not married. There is a lot more I'm able to do with his support, in both practical and emotional ways.
[/B]

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I guess we both think simmilar then.

I hope your husband recognizes that and appreciates how lucky he is to have met you, it's very rare to find somone who sees things for more then whats really there.

Most males once they get married they lose the ablity or become restricted on certain projects and things they can do.

I still collect, repair build model trains, planes and some minor electronics.

I doubt if I was to get married any female whould support my natural "Boyish Geekish Gemini tendencies" or need to start projects that keep me physical and mentally going.

Plus I enjoy my freedom and I think its very rare to find someone who has the hindsight to see things before they can happen.

laught away again, most relationships involve person A trying to help person B.

But what actually happends is Person B ends up driving person A into the ground!!.