posted August 10, 2021 06:30 PM            

It is an endless torture of constant physical, spiritual, and psychological torture, day and night.

Physics, because I was in a place where I didn't want to be, with horrible people. That I was beaten, humiliated, insulted, and sexually abused.

Psychological, because while I was brainwashed day and night.
I had to keep the type and pretend that this was normal. That it was normal to be away from my country, with unknown people making me believe that they were my family.
With a crazy woman who only wanted to dress and show me off, and a psychopathic man who reveled in my pain.

And spiritually, because in the midst of all the torture, the soul dies.

Right now I'm trying to get a lobotomy to really show that I was never adopted.

I can't even look at my face without feeling disgusted, because those mental patients who adopted me always told me that I looked like them, and it's disgusting.
So now I can't even look at my face without feeling disgusted.

I want to have an effective and PERMANENT autolobotomy.

I want to forget this torture forever.
I want my last name and identity back.
I want to be Lavrushko Aleksandra Viktorovna, and not the disgusting last names of that pair of pedophiles that they forced on me.
(Where I live I cannot recover my original identity).

Personally, I am traumatized even with my name. I hate calling myself Aleksandra. Those people who abducted me made my name disgusting and disgusting.

I need to do all this with the utmost urgency, because I have a son on the way, and I want to be the best being for this new person.

PS: Please don't quote me.

I am Cancer, Scorpio Moon, Cáncer Mercury, Taurus Venus, Virgo Mars, Libra Júpiter, Aquarius/Pisces Saturn, Capricorn Neptune, Capricorn Uranus,and Scorpio Pluto.