posted November 29, 2021 04:35 PM            

I've already had my first Saturn return a while ago (natal 4H Aquarius 3 degrees). I've become self-sufficient and financially independent, currently living on my own.

But then, for a while now I've also been feeling really restricted regarding having children and a family. My nurturing and motherly natal Ceres-Sun conjunction is not too fond of this transit, so to speak - neither is my natal 10H Chiron which is currently opposed by Saturn. I feel an internal conflict between home life (4) and career (10), and where I'd like to truly place my priorities VS reality of everyday life.

These days, I'd say I'm at the top of my career due to my hard work and efforts, living kinda the masculine side of myself, people management and lots of responsibility... But, I feel it is not a huge priority in my life to climb the ladder (it has never truly been). I really like my job, but it does not fulfill my soul (natal 4H Aqua Moon also joins), I would really love to finally start living my life according to the more feminine and nurturing side of me (and my Ceres-Sun essence), but currently I have no choice.

Not to mention, the pandemic does not help the situation either, some days I feel okay and powerful, but other days I feel alienated and separated in my own 6th ground tower I think it has lessened my chances to find a person with matching core values who would want the same as me - a loving family, feeling safe and nurtured.

Recently, I've also been having certain flashbacks from my childhood, which makes me sad, because my current situation exactly reminds me of when I was a child - e.g. eating completely alone in my own room. The only difference is that now I'm grown, but I'm still longing for a warm and loving family surrounding me. Something I've never had before...

posted November 30, 2021 01:01 PM            

Otherwise, I can see right away that my progressed 4H is now ruled by Pisces - IC at 5° and Moon at 26°