posted February 05, 2022 06:54 PM            

b) how does it reflect in your chart?

wondering what is effective and will result in actual relief. sometimes we do our best to console and if it isnt effective, does it truly matter? "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" amirite? (wow amirite is a real word)

this inquiry is motivated by an itchy north node and a general lost of how to show true support for others sometimes.

am also concerned for someone special in my life that is going through it (emotionally, mentally, physically) and am not sure how to really be there for him at times. is this a moon thing? he has a 12th house cap moon square pluto, moon is ruler of his 5th. he buries himself in work and opens up to me when we talk, but generally we wont talk for about a week in between. i leave him alone because i am pretty sure it stresses him out to have another "thing to do" and obviously i would rather be a comfort than a task for him. when we do hang out (rarely these days), we have fun unless he is pretending to not be in a bad mood. basically he has told me in very few words that he doesnt have time for fun but makes time for me (even though he can be a B*TCH). that really warms my heart until it doesnt.. have realized not too long ago that he argues about petty stuff when he is at his breaking point, but it seems to come out of nowhere and i am never ready for it. i am trying to have a good time while forgetting about my problems too - geez are we not on the same page? my reluctance to not get annoyed/angry made it close to war before catching on. called him out on it a couple times and although he denied it initially, the attitude abated. i think he appreciated it because he has opened up to me more. have also told him that i wouldnt be mad if he had to cancel plans because i would rather be disappointed than go to war and be a super sad angry panda. would be a lose/lose situation, bad for both of us. i think he knows i care but is that what he genuinely needs?

will get the ball rolling:

a) dark humor does it for me. the darker the better - in a nihilist/absurdist way. makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. laughter is good medicine and i feel calm when my brain is pleased.

b) sag moon that is ruler of my 8th. maybe chart ruler jupiter in gemini, conjunct bml.

posted February 06, 2022 08:10 AM            

On my own...I like to take a bath.

Friends/sister: A phone call, or a visit, or going out to eat to catch up. If a friend is really in the loop I can just text them.

Parents: I feel comforted when they make or buy me food. Or make a really lame joke that cracks me up.

b.) Well my big 3 is Gemini Rising, Aries Sun h11 Scorpio Moon h6

I think the water in my chart(I got all of it Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces plus 8 and 12th house stuff) makes me want physical intimacy with my husband.

The baths...I once read that hot baths does a Scorpio moon good for their emotions. I also have Mercury Taurus...I am super into baths. A lot of people associate Taurus liking their their baths. Jupiter Cancer in the second house too.

The talking it out with sibling and friends has got to be the air in my chart.
Gemini Rising, 11th house sun, Aquarius Mars, North Node, and MC.

Parents: I have Jupiter in Cancer. I can always fall back on my parents if sh!+ hits the fan.

posted February 06, 2022 11:54 AM            

Add to that, the 12th house Moon can have someone completely dissociate with Moon affiliations. In that one can deny or fail to properly comprehend their emotional state from a "real time " perspective. OR not be able to articulate how they feel because words literally escape them.

Ask him to communicate with emojis. This can help summarize the overall state instead of using words- which often (ironically) can be quite limited in their scope on application.

I have Moon in Cancer in 4th house.I can relate somewhat. I can share my thoughts with the public (Mercury in 10th) but NOT necessarily my feelings. These are often buried under tide that waxes ans wanes.

My feelings are often changing. Always shifting. Its as if someone is pressing the "refresh" button a lot. They are not constant. Its very similar to Moon-Ura aspect or Moon in Aqua. In that there is often a new perspective had on an old feeling.

So perhaps I will wake up and not feel like studying. Then after washing the dishes, reading a book and hitting some weights. Where do you find me next? Studying.🤷🏿‍♂️

The feelings have subsided and became different in the process. So I need someone to allow me that leeway to change my mind(because I will).

posted February 07, 2022 06:01 AM            

I have Moon in Virgo 12th, trine Neptune on the IC. Moon is in mutual reception with Cancer Mercury (on the MC), but that doesn't seem to make me any more comfortable sharing my emotions... what is in the 12th will be hidden I suppose.

posted February 07, 2022 12:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Cap Moon is the type to bottle stuff up OR trivialize the impact of feelings on the psyche. So I am not surprised that your Cap moon partner didn't seek comfort when emotionally wrought.

Add to that, the 12th house Moon can have someone completely dissociate with Moon affiliations. In that one can deny or fail to properly comprehend their emotional state from a "real time " perspective. OR not be able to articulate how they feel because words literally escape them.

Ask him to communicate with emojis. This can help summarize the overall state instead of using words- which often (ironically) can be quite limited in their scope on application.

I have Moon in Cancer in 4th house.I can relate somewhat. I can share my thoughts with the public (Mercury in 10th) but NOT necessarily my feelings. These are often buried under tide that waxes ans wanes.

My feelings are often changing. Always shifting. Its as if someone is pressing the "refresh" button a lot. They are not constant. Its very similar to Moon-Ura aspect or Moon in Aqua. In that there is often a new perspective had on an old feeling.

So perhaps I will wake up and not feel like studying. Then after washing the dishes, reading a book and hitting some weights. Where do you find me next? Studying.🤷🏿‍♂️

The feelings have subsided and became different in the process. So I need someone to allow me that leeway to change my mind(because I will).

My schedule is also open to change. I can't live on a stringent schedule that is inflexible.It needs to shift. My partner should be aware of that and not force routine. I don't thrive on that.

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posted February 08, 2022 08:02 PM            

I don't usually tell what's my problem to anyone in real life.

With my friends I have known as a closed-off person because I never ever share what's bothered me or how's my personal life especially the love life which I keep it very private. I also never nag about anything or people. I only show that I want to have fun with you, laugh with you, hanging out with you, discuss something out of personal matter (although some of them come to me to talk about their personal matter and I don't mind to listen and give advice if they need it, but I will be very uncomfortable when they ask mine and usually will try to find something general related to their problem and the solution -if they need it- without letting them know my story). Since my face doesn't easily show my feelings, most of them think I don't have any problem, also I'm pretty much a laid back person, so, yeah, I also attract a lot of jealous people who think I have an easy happy life and they try to drag me down just to see me suffered like them who like to talk about it and show it to their friends. I'm just not that type of woman, that's why I have more male friends than female.

With my family, when I have really really got stuck, like when I feel I need to change direction, I talk to them asking their opinion and if they ask what's behind the reason, I tell them without something I hide because it's very hard for me to not be honest with my family when they ask. If they don't ask, I don't spill anything. Usually the first person I talk to is my Dad because he can understand me and will always come up with best solutions that suite with my problems and he won't try to force me to do exactly what he suggests, he always says "think about it. How you do it, you have your own way, it's all up to you". Yes, be understanding and give me a solution that makes sense, also don't force or rush me, give me times to process, that's the best comfort/support I need in difficult times.

b) how does it reflect in your chart?

Aqua sun in 2nd house (I don't like being rushed or forced to do something because I am sloooooww, jk, because I need to process, try to adjust, and, decide carefully and think about it one more time until I come out with final decision and stay that way)

Aries moon in 4th house (yeah, only attach to home and my small trusted circle: family. Changing direction is always the way out, but not in a switch of time, usually need months or years, then I come out as another person you met before and stay like that until I need to change again - the need to always changing is needed)

posted February 10, 2022 05:47 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hearttreasure:
a) [i] He also likes a tight hug, but I don't really like it because I feel caged in in a sec and lose my oxygen, a simple hug is fine but not a tight hug for me. Sometimes we are in a joking battle of push-pull like a child for him to get a tight hug.

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Haha, same here! A tight hug is so restricting. I think men sometimes undererstimate their strenghth as well. My bf loves giving tight hugs but the make me breathless and I have to fight him off

posted February 12, 2022 06:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Amoranthaniela:
Most support you can give is alone time, peace and quiet. Leave me be, respect my boundaries, and maybe leave snacks outside my door and walk away lol

11th house Pisces moon

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This reminds me of a situation. One of our earlier housemates/tenants that ended up becoming one of our best friends--when she first moved in, she was in grad school, trying to write her thesis and was really stressed out a lot. She's a Pisces Sun (I think 11th House), Taurus very closely cusping Aries Asc with Venus in latish Aries, and Virgo Moon/Mars/Jupiter/Saturn (not all conjunct though),

Anyways, it sort of became a joke later on, but there would be times when we made pancakes or the like, while she was cloistered in her room stressing out, and we'd gently knock on her door and quietly say, "we made you some pancakes J" and she would bark back, "ok, leave them at the door" all Gollum like.

Essentially, we tried to and did give her a lot of space, but not completely either. It would have been relatively easy for us to have just completely ignored her, but someone with that much Taurus and Venus needs some good food comfort as we intuited.

posted February 12, 2022 08:59 AM            

Then I consult my Sag Asc, Aquarious Sun friend on what she thinks based on all the scenarios.

I think it's an Air sign thing...I have no doubt Putin is doing a decesion tree in his head right now on what to do with Ukraine.

b)Jupitor in Aquarious, means I always learn best from Aquarious suns...I almost always form a Conjunction with anyone with Aquarious placements with that aspect.

I also have a Sagittarius and Aquarius axis
so anyone with those placements I always learn best from.

Learning or figuring how to deal with a problem is always conforting to me.

Off topic just my opinion I think the Gemini-Aquarious paring in rough times works best if the Aquarious is older...it stops the Gemini from getting control.

I feel sorry for Elizabeth Holmes(Aquarious) and the Theranos trial..

I really do belive Sunny Balwani(Gemini) really did manipulate her when Holmes was in time of need.

Whouldn't happen to me though as mentioned with the above placement, I sorta have a student-teacher relationship..and end up being submisive to Aquarious suns.

posted February 13, 2022 01:15 AM            

No matter how sunny his Leo sun is, he is a true melancholic person. We all can see those energy in him, especially me who can feel how heavy, sad, and stressful his emotions (I have Moon conjunct Jupiter, it's very easy for me to snap the bad feeling to good feeling/hope, but he seems like can not do it to the point it feels like it's the default of his emotions, I can understand the stressful side because I also have Moon/Saturn trine, but heavy dark sad is hard for me to understand), but what do we do when things feel heavier than usual?

We usually leave him alone, don't ask too much questions or offer a joke like you don't have empathy, but MAKE SURE he eats well or check him out for several hours to make sure nothing badly serious happen until you see him normally better then don't put too much of worry because he is the melancholic type of person (there are 4 types of temperament I have learned in college, and one of them is the melancholic). Usually my Mom will make sure everyone to eat, so if he doesn't come out to eat in exact hour, he must be ready for her to scream at him to eat something and get out of his room to eat at the table and he knows he won't like it, so, yeah, we as the siblings sometimes use that weapon if he doesn't want to get out from his room "Mommy will come if you don't come out to eat."

In his late 20ies, he decided to live with my parents again, he said he felt more comfort live closer to my parents, until he was married in late 30ies and still decides to live near my parents house and continue to visit them regularly.

When he lived alone, he was so thin. When he started living again with my parents, he gained weight and continuing the fat, jk, he tries to keep a proportional body shape to avoid getting unshaped by going to the gym, because my Mom won't let anyone not eat something but at the same time she doesn't like you eat too much uncontrollably.

posted February 13, 2022 09:50 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DualGemV2:

...

Off topic just my opinion I think the Gemini-Aquarious paring in rough times works best if the Aquarious is older...it stops the Gemini from getting control.

...

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I am younger than my Gemini sun husband.

One time he told me to submit to him because he is older, I said to him if he can give me a reasonable, rationally logically acceptable, non/less risky decision and not giving a bad impact to me, the future or other people, I may submit to him. But what I have learned for years with him, my mind and my heart don't feel the trust. Then he never talks about age gap anymore and depends on me making a decision. I think it brings him to the past and realizes something...

He once got a project, he told me that he had this twisted way to get more benefit in the next project they promised but I told him that he need to stay on the track or he could loose the trust and I would leave him if it became a future problem. He tried to talk about it again and again to me, but I insisted, NOPE, it wasn't a good decision, stayed on the track. Everytime he went to have a meeting, I always reminded him to not discuss the idea because it wouldn't give a good. Just like a typical Gemini, the more you try to catch them or stop them for talking, the more slippery they are, he discussed the idea and later after one project, there were no longer more contract with him. Then he felt guilty, he told me that he should listen to me. I jokingly said to him that he never learned because I had also tried to remind him that his ex tried to coming back with some agenda and after loosing his money to her, he told me the same thing: not listening.