posted December 28, 2022 06:46 PM            

Back in a highschool, we were in a same class for about a year. I didn't really speak to him because I was an aloof and super quiet, and I didn't really put my attention to males but I noticed him once-two times because he fought with someone at that time.

So, he contacted me two years ago and I was surprised because to what I remember, we never spoke before. He told me that he need my help and he offered me a position, since my husband didn't agree I took the job and I wanted to give help as much as I could, I suggested him to considering my other friends who I had informed to. During that process he kept contacting me, informed me what happened and ended up telling me that he actually really wanted me to take the job. When I asked him, why did he wanted me to take the job since my other friends had more experience than me? He told me, he was looking for someone who could work under his supervision. I assured him that those my friends wouldn't dissapoint him and he answered, "no, I want you". I told him even me wasn't sure that I could take the job due to certain reasons I explained and he insisted as long as I worked under his supervision, I would be okay. I told my husband about it and my husband didn't allow me. I informed him that my husband wouldn't let me took the job and I didn't want to fight with my husband risking the peace I need in my marriage. He told me he wanted to meet and talk about it, I refused as nothing else we need to talk about. He tried to calling me several times then stopped when I didn't answer.

Recently, after two years, he is contacting me again. He started with a Merry Christmas message on Christmas day and I replied with the same. He suddenly asked me to meet up if I could but since I was still recovering I said I couldn't go outside. I asked him what it was about, if it was really a matter he could say it in a text. At first he was hesitant because he was afraid the app he was using was being tapped by third party, but then he asked me using other app for communicating.

I am surprised, that he actually contacting me about the problem in his marriage. He talks a lot until now (yes, we're still communicating by text since I'm still recovering) and asking me to keep it as a secret because he doesn't know to whom he can talk about it.

Why am I surprised? Because he has:
Sun in Cancer
Moon in Scorpio
Mercury in Gemini
Mars in Gemini
Venus in Cancer

Why it is bizzare for me? because I had never spoken up with him before and just had a contact two years ago about a job. And why me? he chooses to talk about his marriage problem that he never opened up to someone else? We're not even have a label of close friend.

Does it mean because he trusts me? Or what? Honestly, I'm scared. lol. Because his wife is also my highschool friend. I know her more than I know him, so I keep my respons as neutral as I could.

posted December 28, 2022 06:57 PM            

He could be trying to get more on his wife, since you would know her, and that's probably not for an honorable purpose. Or he could be trying to stir up drama because he doesn't feel loved or desired unless he's being fought over, with some partners engineering drama to look (or even be) cheating to start the drama that they hope ends with...what they want.

Even if he's just stumbling about in good faith, I doubt you could help him with whatever it is. And if it's not in good faith, it doesn't mean his wife isn't going to believe him over you.

posted December 29, 2022 02:30 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
...

He could be trying to get more on his wife, since you would know her, and that's probably not for an honorable purpose. Or he could be trying to stir up drama because he doesn't feel loved or desired unless he's being fought over, with some partners engineering drama to look (or even be) cheating to start the drama that they hope ends with...what they want.

...

---

I'm afraid those bad scenario too, because I'm always the type who avoid drama in my life but it seems drama always tries to chase me.

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:

...
I also wouldn't be surprised if he's contacting other people he knew of in school, you just being one of the fish who bit. Might be worth asking others you have contact with....

---

I don't think I have enough interest to contacting others whether him asking for marriage help or not. I'm actually thinking he might exaggerate things and need some attentions or he just wants a closure from my last rejection? I don't know, probably I'm just too afraid saying he acts like when my husband tries to cheat LOL

posted December 29, 2022 05:59 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by hearttreasure:
…
The last message he sends me, "Have you ever felt bored and fed up in a marriage? because this is where I am now."

---

To me this looks like someone that has already given up on their marriage. He’s going to stir the pot until his partner has had enough and then she’ll be the one to initiate the divorce. It’s the coward’s way out. Probably his Water Moon acting up.

Maybe I’m just projecting but he’s clearly not interested in working on his marriage in a constructive way, as this requires two people to be emotionally vulnerable towards each other. He’s doing the absolute opposite and undermining the intimacy of his marriage by talking to another woman about his feelings and the relationship. This will likely end badly.

posted December 29, 2022 10:37 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PlutoWasHere:
To me this looks like someone that has already given up on their marriage.

...

---

I know, right? Everything he has said also very much showing that their marriage is in a critical condition. How he complains and critizes everything what his wife's doing in a very demanding manner (almost to strong dislikeness) makes me wonder what actually is going on, because they portray as a happy couple in social media. His Christmas text to me also included with a photo with his wife so I thought it was a usual Christmas greetings.

That's why I suggest him to go to marriage counselor.

quote:

---

Originally posted by PlutoWasHere:

@hearttreasury, please protect your boundaries. Before you know it, you’ll be the bad guy in this train wreck waiting to happen.

---

My little voice actually tells me there's something off with him contacting me sharing his personal marriage life but I don't know how to describe it. But maybe I can be wrong? Maybe he really needs some enlightment or another perspective about his marriage to work on it?

At this time I'm just trying to be a good friend who avoid saying right or wrong as I don't know the whole truth and I'm not there with their marriage problems. All I can do is just sharing my own experience that relate to his problems and what is my solution to those experience.

posted December 29, 2022 11:46 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PlutoWasHere:
Cancer is a very nostalgic sign. They can even overly romanticize the past. Maybe high school was a time he felt confident and appreciated? And you were part of these positive memories?

Mars in Gemini is something to watch. I don’t no the aspects to his Mars but “mental adultery” could be a thing.

---

I heard a little about him being disliked by some group of males in a highschool that led to those highchool fighting. And I think the second time I saw him walking with a little bit messy and blood somewhere, probably due to fighting again. I don't remember had spoken up to him in a highschool as I was a shy, aloof, and quiet most of the time. I don't know if he watched me in a highschool maybe?

What I heard from other friends when we had a reunion, he only had a few friend around him probably the same as me at that time but I don't remember really ever watched him only those fighting part.

Oh snaps, I think I remember the third time. One night my boyfriend (cancer sun) at that time tried to kiss me but I pushed him away, he pulled me but I kept pushing him away, then I noticed someone starred at us in those dark place, it was this highschool friend looking at me. I was too shy and asked my boyfriend to take me home, out from the crowded. "Why tf he was starring at me?" I thought at that time lol but I quickly forgot about it.