posted December 31, 2022 12:20 PM            

To me it seems like a lot to handle, with not only an exact quincunx but for both planets to be at 29 degrees... that's a lot. She has a hard time with emotional regulation, and she has a tendency to argue that she's feeling a certain way when it's obvious that her true feelings are different than what she's saying they are.

I'm a Pisces Sun and Mercury so I can see through it pretty easily- it helps that my Sun is conjunct her Moon (I'm at 25 deg.) and my Mercury is in a wide trine with hers. So when she says something but I can tell that it's not the whole truth I usually keep asking questions until she's able to say everything. Sometimes it seems like it's hard for her to admit that she has certain emotions, like she tries to think her way out of them or assumes she has more control over them than she actually does. The flip side to this is when she has really strong emotional reactions and outbursts but is unable to articulate what's going on and what she's thinking about.

Anyway, who else has planets at 29 degrees natally? And anyone have experience with quincunxes in your natal chart?

posted January 01, 2023 03:47 AM            

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Originally posted by edenhardwicke:
Oooh that's a good point. So I guess having the quincunx could be an additional complicating factor then, maybe helpful in some circumstances and hurtful in others.

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posted January 01, 2023 10:46 AM            

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Originally posted by SleepyDiary:
Maybe. But she also sounds like she might have some fire influence in her chart esp something like a hard Mars-Moon aspect these people can have a hard time admitting to anything they see as a weakness. Also people with air influence do like to pretend they are unaffected even though it’s obvious they were

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She has Neptune and Uranus (both retrograde) in the first house in Aquarius, in addition to Sun and Mercury in the 8th and 9th in Libra. So definitely a lot of air stuff going on. As for fire, she doesn't have any placements in Aries or Leo (other than Juno and her Vertex in Leo in the 7th), but in her 11th house she has Pallas, Pluto, and Chiron in Sagittarius.

Aspects with Mars in her chart include:
- Mars square Sun
- Mars quintile Mercury
- Mars trine Venus (0 degree orb)
- Mars opposite Jupiter
- Mars quincunx Saturn
- Mars semisextile Pluto (0 degree orb)
- Mars conjunct Ceres
- Mars semisextile Pallas
- Mars quincunx Vesta (0 degree orb)
- Mars square Eros
- Mars conjunct Ascendant (in the 12th)
- Mars sextile Midheaven

Her Mars is in Capricorn in the 12th, for reference.

posted January 01, 2023 11:49 AM            

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Originally posted by edenhardwicke:
She has Neptune and Uranus (both retrograde) in the first house in Aquarius, in addition to Sun and Mercury in the 8th and 9th in Libra. So definitely a lot of air stuff going on. As for fire, she doesn't have any placements in Aries or Leo (other than Juno and her Vertex in Leo in the 7th), but in her 11th house she has Pallas, Pluto, and Chiron in Sagittarius.

Aspects with Mars in her chart include:
- Mars square Sun
- Mars quintile Mercury
- Mars trine Venus (0 degree orb)
- Mars opposite Jupiter
- Mars quincunx Saturn
- Mars semisextile Pluto (0 degree orb)
- Mars conjunct Ceres
- Mars semisextile Pallas
- Mars quincunx Vesta (0 degree orb)
- Mars square Eros
- Mars conjunct Ascendant (in the 12th)
- Mars sextile Midheaven

Her Mars is in Capricorn in the 12th, for reference.

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Just what i thought then. She did sound a bit like a Mars influenced person and it turns out she has some prominent Mars aspects in her chart. These people tend to hate showing any weaknesses so they try to hide it but fire is not a subtle energy it’s a very direct and immediate energy so they are not good at hiding their feelings. They can get very defensive too and have big outbursts

posted January 01, 2023 12:59 PM            

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Originally posted by SleepyDiary:
Just what i thought then. She did sound a bit like a Mars influenced person and it turns out she has some prominent Mars aspects in her chart. These people tend to hate showing any weaknesses so they try to hide it but fire is not a subtle energy it’s a very direct and immediate energy so they are not good at hiding their feelings. They can get very defensive too and have big outbursts

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posted January 01, 2023 01:15 PM            

Natally I have:
- Mars semisquare Sun (0 degree orb)
- Mars sextile Mercury
- Mars semisextile Venus (0 degree orb)
- Mars sextile Jupiter
- Mars semisextile Saturn
- Mars square Neptune (0 degree orb)
- Mars biquintile Pluto
- Mars trine Chiron
- Mars sextile Part of Fortune
- Mars opposite Vertex
- Mars sextile Ceres
- Mars square Pallas
- Mars square Eros
- Mars semisextile Ascendant

My Mars is in Taurus in my 12th, which is trine hers (Capricorn 12th).

posted January 01, 2023 03:34 PM            

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Originally posted by edenhardwicke:
Yes lol, she can't tell a lie to save her life. She tries to lie sometimes, but it never works because I see right through it (and a lot of other people do too). She is not subtle, at all. The only way she can avoid giving people information, is by not talking about certain subjects at all. So she can basically only lie by omission, never directly. If she tries to lie directly she either immediately tells the truth like 5 seconds later, or someone questions her on it and she caves.

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Haha this is very much how a fire dominant person can behave they have really expressive faces too and are bad at hiding when they think someone looks ‘’unappealing’’ in any way and should learn to control their facial expressions better because they might offend people. Someone i knew used to get some crap for this. Also If you for example told her about someone who is across the resturant looking over at us don’t look she would immediately turn around and look and make it obvious that you have been talking about that person not because she wanted to make it obvious but that was her immediate reaction. She did not know how to be subtle at all even when she wanted to.

posted January 01, 2023 04:35 PM            

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Originally posted by SleepyDiary:
Haha this is very much how a fire dominant person can behave they have really expressive faces too and are bad at hiding when they think someone looks ‘’unappealing’’ in any way and should learn to control their facial expressions better because they might offend people. Someone i knew used to get some crap for this. Also If you for example told her about someone who is across the resturant looking over at us don’t look she would immediately turn around and look and make it obvious that you have been talking about that person not because she wanted to make it obvious but that was her immediate reaction. She did not know how to be subtle at all even when she wanted to.

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posted January 01, 2023 04:58 PM            

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Originally posted by edenhardwicke:
Yes lol, I'm like that too without meaning to be. I love fire dominant people because I never have to guess about hidden motivations, things are almost always out on the surface in some way.

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posted January 09, 2023 08:27 PM            

I have a very hard time fully expressing my feelings, but it's not for lack of trying. I keep talking and talking and thinking and thinking until I finally land on what is behind my feelings, and sometimes what my feelings even are. And then, once I feel I have sorted it out, after some period of time (hours? days? weeks?) I change and have to sort through it all again.

posted January 10, 2023 09:25 AM            

I see this as a nervous and anxious Moon because of this.

So it's not the inconjunct alone that makes her efforts to communicate difficult. Efforts to communicate are hampered for sure, but that Moon is extra anxious and "lost" here. The Moon needs to be shaped, the feelings given a container.

I get the impression that she would have some difficulty seeing herself in the first place, let alone communicate or express herself. I'm saying it's a DW then. Or triple because 29 degrees. Or quadruple, because its in Pisces and the ruler Neptune is square Mercury.

StoneMoon's Moon, in contrast, has other aspects from her Moon (and her Mercury). Thanks for the comparison StoneMoon, that's rare, what are the odds of that? Her Moon is also opposite her Sun, incidentally.

posted January 10, 2023 11:43 AM            

while we are comparing, the ruler of my Moon also aspects the Mercury involved... And as Scorpio rising, I am Mars ruled. And if you want to get even weirder- I have a Cap moon in the Taurus 2nd house... and you two have Cap and Taurus Mars...

posted January 10, 2023 11:50 AM            

When I was younger I had huge emotions and did not know how to handle them. I would have wide swings from elation, to depression, and anger. Keep in mind, my Moon Mercury inconjunct is heavily involved in my chart.

My Moon is opposite my Sun/Jupiter, and trine Mars. And connected to my ASC. There is a lot of energy happening there.

When I was young I didn't have healthy outlets, nor did I have a healthy form of guidance on managing them. Obviously societal norms give us some kind of guidance, and I also mellowed out as I aged. I am actually very peaceful in public situations, all of my angst surfaces in my own private world. Except joy- that one I don't care about hiding and regulating.

posted January 10, 2023 09:49 PM            

I agree, her Moon is just stranded there with very little to hold onto. The only aspects to it are that opposition to Sun, quincunx Mercury, and then squares to the NN/SN axis and to Chiron... not super fun. But maybe the squares are at least something to grapple with and perhaps anchor herself to? Uncomfortable for sure especially because of the themes surrounding the Nodes and Chiron but it's also kind of all she has to help find her emotional center.

My Sun is conjunct her Moon, and my Jupiter squares it, so I wonder if that helps bring it "out into the light" and maybe also magnifies it (which could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the circumstances)? It's probably also helpful that my own Mercury is in the same sign as her Moon and is in a wide trine with her Mercury, because I can sort of mediate that tension (communicate with her Mercury across the divide, having a natural understanding of her Moon).

Also her Mercury is opposite my Moon, and I don't know exactly what that does in this situation but it probably gives me a decent vantage point to intuitively understand how her Mercury operates. The fact that her Mercury is really well-connected to other areas in her chart is helpful, because it's the only bridge she's got really. Her Sun does make a decent amount of aspects but they're mostly wide, and the opposition to her Moon is wide to begin with.

Her identity seems to be centered on relationships with other people, which is a very Libra Sun thing, but I think the fact that her Moon is opposite her Sun and yet doesn't have much of its own identity either, might just make that tendency worse/more difficult. She seems to not really know what she wants to do, who she is, etc. but one consistent thing she's always said is "My purpose is to love people." She usually means in the context of relationships but I always nudge her to broaden her definition of love, and explore other ways to express it.

I think she is really just an artist deep down, and that's the area of life she will be most fulfilled in if she pursues it. She's deeply sensitive, and pretty fragile emotionally (even when she tries to hide it). I think she needs to be able to live a very low-key, low-stress life where she can go hole up in a room for hours just painting and listening to music. But she also needs practical things to ground her, because otherwise she will float around in her head all the time.

She has really big (and really fast) mood swings like you said StoneMoon, and is super sensitive to criticism and perceived rejection. She can be highly reactive, and cannot be reasoned with when she's in the heat of the moment. That confused and frustrated me at first (I was like, "Can you not be so rude to me right now?") but now I understand how she works, and we call it "feeling your feelings." One day she said, "I have to feel my feelings first, then I can be rational about this." So now that's a little phrase we use, and it's a helpful attitude to have about it, because then we're not fighting, we're just laughing and/or being present with the emotions and letting them work themselves out. Usually things resolve relatively quickly with that approach.

posted January 10, 2023 10:11 PM            

Inconjuncts are tough, they really are. While we may learn to navigate, they never go away. It’s a lifetime kind of thing, and I can’t say I appreciate mine. Maybe the update completion from another person eases things or gives us more opportunity to grow.

I don’t know why you’re so poised and mature and wise for your age, but the more you relay of the story the more I am convinced you are here to guide her this life. Whether you “owe” her a repayment of guidance and healing or you have agreed to step into her life this round to help her, this all explains the synastry.

posted January 11, 2023 12:23 AM            

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Originally posted by StoneMoon:
Puffing is pretty funny! And feeling your feelings is ingenious. Going to borrow that one for myself.

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I'm glad that concept is useful!