|
Author
|
Topic: chart of an abuser
|
UnaspectedMoon
Knowflake Posts: 27
From:
Registered: Sep 2018
|
posted January 23, 2023 05:55 PM
  
What do you see in this chart that gives signs of an abuser?
https://imgur.com/a/XQxsinrIP: Logged |
Dons2angelss
Knowflake Posts: 1158
From: Virginia, US
Registered: Jan 2019
|
posted January 23, 2023 06:05 PM
I don't see that. I do see someone who has deep trauma, even from past lives, that they are probably not fully aware of and THAT can manifest outward as anger, depression, or abandonment. I don't see a chart of a person who enjoys causing pain. This is someone projecting their own pain out and that's a big difference. Abuse is abuse yes, I'm not defending actions. I'm merely suggesting that this person is not acting on egotistical power driven abuse but from a place of deep pain. IP: Logged |
UnaspectedMoon
Knowflake Posts: 27
From:
Registered: Sep 2018
|
posted January 23, 2023 06:10 PM
Care to explain the placements?IP: Logged |
Dons2angelss
Knowflake Posts: 1158
From: Virginia, US
Registered: Jan 2019
|
posted January 23, 2023 08:55 PM
North node in the 12th along with Mars in Pisces says they are working on long held patterns stemming from a lot of deep wounds. This aspect is going to take loads and loads of self awareness to even begin to tap into the psyche behind the suffering.
Venus at 0 cancer conjunct chiron. This is most likely from a maternal bond that was broken in some way and Venus just entering cancer shows a need for nurturing to "replace" that bond. This is a man correct? He'll want that quintessential "mother" type but be far to afraid to actually let her emotionally come close. Especially with that opposition from Saturn and Uranus. His need to seem like the alpha is at direct odds with what he needs on the inside, a warm safe place to show his soft side. Moon on the south node, I've known people with this aspect and it can cut very deep. Tried and true patterns of emotional manipulation that need to be broken. The square to venus shows that this will not be an easy feat and take a lot of self discipline and self love. There isn't much of that going on below the surface.
IP: Logged |
UnaspectedMoon
Knowflake Posts: 27
From:
Registered: Sep 2018
|
posted January 23, 2023 09:16 PM
Thanks. She’s a woman but she’s a queer lesbian. Definitely plays the alpha among her friends and what you are saying is true. I am struggling hard to empathize with her because she has always been so hateful and ignorant at times. She would act self righteous and victimize herself when she was creating chaos. I do understand that she’s deeply insecure but she kind of uses it as a crutch to justify all her bad behavior as if she thinks her friends owe it to her to condone it because of whatever struggles she has. Meanwhile we are all struggling but we do not all act out and hurt others.Thanks so much for giving me your insights. I’ll look into these aspects more thoroughly and see if it helps me empathize more or at least find closure. IP: Logged |
Dons2angelss
Knowflake Posts: 1158
From: Virginia, US
Registered: Jan 2019
|
posted January 23, 2023 09:26 PM
You're welcome, the 12th house can be a trap for "victims". Her turning her actions into something she is a victim of sounds spot on. I'm a native 12th houser and I can honestly say that it took me well into my 30s to see how I was only a victim of myself. No one else ever had power over my actions/emotions, they were all controlled by me.If she is receptive to astrology, it can be an astounding tool to learn self awareness. Just don't say it like that to her lol. I'd approach the subject in a stroking her ego kind of way so it doesn't come off as an attack. IP: Logged |
UnaspectedMoon
Knowflake Posts: 27
From:
Registered: Sep 2018
|
posted January 25, 2023 10:42 AM
I just realized part of the problem would probably be that my Sun is in the same sign as her south node/moon. I bet she really didn’t like that aspect about me. She really made me suffer and took my power away from me. I hope in the long run this makes me a stronger person because I don’t believe I deserved this.IP: Logged |
UnaspectedMoon
Knowflake Posts: 27
From:
Registered: Sep 2018
|
posted January 25, 2023 10:47 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Dons2angelss:
You're welcome, the 12th house can be a trap for "victims". Her turning her actions into something she is a victim of sounds spot on. I'm a native 12th houser and I can honestly say that it took me well into my 30s to see how I was only a victim of myself. No one else ever had power over my actions/emotions, they were all controlled by me.If she is receptive to astrology, it can be an astounding tool to learn self awareness. Just don't say it like that to her lol. I'd approach the subject in a stroking her ego kind of way so it doesn't come off as an attack.
Btw, do you give synastry readings? I don’t want to burden you but if you have a site where you provide a service let me know. IP: Logged |
Dons2angelss
Knowflake Posts: 1158
From: Virginia, US
Registered: Jan 2019
|
posted January 25, 2023 07:25 PM
I don't do open readings like that. Just for friends and family but I don't mind doing one for you. If you just slap @gmail at the end of my handle you could email the info on the 2 charts so it's private and I'd be happy to take a look. IP: Logged |
Stawr
Moderator Posts: 8223
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010
|
posted January 26, 2023 11:35 AM
moon square Venus natalIn my observations its awful for self esteem, and mommy issues. The mom can be "stable." The moon square Venus children will work hard to seek their mothers validation and approval, and the mother will hardly give them that. My husband has told me some things about his mother growing up, that has really had me like "why would anyone do that to their own child!?" It's like the mom thinks her kids wont want a relationship with her, if they are too confidant or something. It seems to work. I feel like this placement can be easily manipulated by their mom. So I can see why my husband was controlling of me, and emotionally abusive towards me. Also I do like Gemini moons...but I'm looking out now. BECAUSE my husband has 10 degree Gemini Moon and squared my Venus Pisces 6 degrees. My husband really had a thing about not wanting me to be too confident in fear of losing me. IP: Logged |
Stawr
Moderator Posts: 8223
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010
|
posted January 26, 2023 11:42 AM
My last two relationships were with 12th house heavy guys. I'm so over it, I'm sick of going for people with these placements. But it makes sense that I would be attracted to it since I have 10th house Venus and mars...but the most motivated mars house and the 12th house can be seen as the most unmotivated house...it can get real annoying. IP: Logged |
SleepyDiary
Knowflake Posts: 655
From:
Registered: Apr 2017
|
posted January 26, 2023 12:46 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Stawr:
Also I do like Gemini moons...but I'm looking out now. BECAUSE my husband has 10 degree Gemini Moon and squared my Venus Pisces 6 degrees. My husband really had a thing about not wanting me to be too confident in fear of losing me.
Did you two have any Saturn aspects going on between you where he was Saturn or does he have any Saturn influence in his own natal chart? This sounds a lot like how Saturn harsh aspects can play out. Even if you have Saturn influence in your own natal esp Sun-Saturn, Saturn in the 7th or Mars-Saturn you might deal with a partner that tries to ‘’control’’ you by criticising you and not wanting you to become too confident in yourself in fear of losing you. Saturn can be very insecure and controlling IP: Logged |
UnaspectedMoon
Knowflake Posts: 27
From:
Registered: Sep 2018
|
posted January 30, 2023 04:00 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Stawr:
moon square Venus natalIn my observations its awful for self esteem, and mommy issues. The mom can be "stable." The moon square Venus children will work hard to seek their mothers validation and approval, and the mother will hardly give them that. My husband has told me some things about his mother growing up, that has really had me like "why would anyone do that to their own child!?" It's like the mom thinks her kids wont want a relationship with her, if they are too confidant or something. It seems to work. I feel like this placement can be easily manipulated by their mom. So I can see why my husband was controlling of me, and emotionally abusive towards me. Also I do like Gemini moons...but I'm looking out now. BECAUSE my husband has 10 degree Gemini Moon and squared my Venus Pisces 6 degrees. My husband really had a thing about not wanting me to be too confident in fear of losing me.
That’s so strange because that kind of treatment has the opposite effect on me. There’s no way I would stick around with someone who tries to hurt my confidence unless I’m desperate. Sounds counter intuitive. It’ sounds so petty, like “everyone should be insecure because I’m insecure and anyone who’s insecure deserves my respect”. Ugh. Toxicity at its finest. Anyway I did briefly know her mother and she immediately rubbed me the wrong way. She was so intrusive and annoying! Even more than my own mother who I find very irritating. So I guess I should feel bad for her. haha I’m a Gemini moon and I never seem to come into contact with Pisces types. If I do, they quickly disappear.
IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 23701
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted January 30, 2023 07:45 AM
Ohh, no, no, no. I have a Gemini moon, and I built people up. That's why people liked me. I was the cheery, supportive one. It's more like, I attracted controlling people. My own sister tried to control me for several years there. I've dealt with control. I've dealt with violence. IP: Logged |
mee_chryssa
Knowflake Posts: 861
From: Romania
Registered: Jun 2020
|
posted January 30, 2023 11:49 AM
Nothing... it shows something else. Why do you call him or her an abuser?IP: Logged |
mee_chryssa
Knowflake Posts: 861
From: Romania
Registered: Jun 2020
|
posted January 30, 2023 11:53 AM
Dons2angelss, she doesn't know the ASC. You can't know if the north node it's in the 12th.Also, just my opinion, people that post about "tell me if she's an abuser" have their mind already set up for this and they are looking for motives to do whatever have their mind to. I don't disregards her view of the situation, but I don't see an abuser here, it's quite opposite. IP: Logged |
mee_chryssa
Knowflake Posts: 861
From: Romania
Registered: Jun 2020
|
posted January 30, 2023 11:59 AM
quote:
Originally posted by UnaspectedMoon:
I just realized part of the problem would probably be that my Sun is in the same sign as her south node/moon. I bet she really didn’t like that aspect about me. She really made me suffer and took my power away from me. I hope in the long run this makes me a stronger person because I don’t believe I deserved this.
Why don't you just leave her there if her presence it's doing you harm? Don't empathise with people that get you hurt. If your Sun is conjunct her Moon, that only shows that she's unconsciously drawn to you to take care of her. She's not doing it on purpose. A friend of mine has his Moon opposite my Sun and he was always looking to get me to take care of him in all sorts of ways - listening to him, he would tell all his thoughts and I mean alllll his thoughts, at some point I thought that I was going mad because of him, asking me to take him around town. Also, you both have Moon and Sun in square signs. And you have your moons square each others. Because you both have the square in natal, but in synastry Sun/Moons are conjunct, it's a love you, hate you kind of dynamic. Not necessarly hate, but deeply disconfort and disbelieve in the other person, but in a way very bonded. You both see in each other the inner conflict between the conscious and unconscious parts of you. IP: Logged |
Dons2angelss
Knowflake Posts: 1158
From: Virginia, US
Registered: Jan 2019
|
posted January 31, 2023 09:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by mee_chryssa:
Dons2angelss, she doesn't know the ASC. You can't know if the north node it's in the 12th.Also, just my opinion, people that post about "tell me if she's an abuser" have their mind already set up for this and they are looking for motives to do whatever have their mind to. I don't disregards her view of the situation, but I don't see an abuser here, it's quite opposite.
But you did exactly that, disregarded her view. Your claim of the op of already having her mind made up when... Yes, this person is this particular way with her and she came here to ask for help on the situation, not to be judged by you. And where did she mention she did not know the time? Even without it, my first opinion of the chart still stands. Your comment is extremely critical and judgy because you came here with an already closed mind based on your assumptions of the op just wanting validation when in your next comment you basically attack her for not leaving the situation when you know absolutely nothing about it. She posted about her abuser, personally. She even asked for a synastry reading to gain more insight, that doesn't seem to me that she is wanting to validate her own ill feelings toward the person. If you have nothing constructive to add, why don't you just not comment at all?
IP: Logged |
Librapurr
Knowflake Posts: 2049
From:
Registered: Jul 2019
|
posted February 01, 2023 12:29 AM
Your placements might activate her Sun sq. Mars.There’re two types of “bad people”. First, who have Inclination to get abusive every time they have a chance. The second - abusive tendencies are getting triggered by Rs charts.
IP: Logged |
mee_chryssa
Knowflake Posts: 861
From: Romania
Registered: Jun 2020
|
posted February 01, 2023 02:40 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Dons2angelss:
But you did exactly that, disregarded her view. Your claim of the op of already having her mind made up when... Yes, this person is this particular way with her and she came here to ask for help on the situation, not to be judged by you. And where did she mention she did not know the time? Even without it, my first opinion of the chart still stands. Your comment is extremely critical and judgy because you came here with an already closed mind based on your assumptions of the op just wanting validation when in your next comment you basically attack her for not leaving the situation when you know absolutely nothing about it. She posted about her abuser, personally. She even asked for a synastry reading to gain more insight, that doesn't seem to me that she is wanting to validate her own ill feelings toward the person. If you have nothing constructive to add, why don't you just not comment at all?
I know I was a bit fired up by the claim of her being an abuser. It just breaks my heart to see a chart with Venus opposite Saturn. Plus that earth moons have a difficult period as a child and her Moon is not particularly strong to get over it, so I mostly see a person that went through trauma and is confused very much after that period. My advice for her was not a judgy advice but something that everyone should do, and I'm speaking from experience. It's not healthy to empathise with someone that is hurting you and still stay there with them. I did look at the natal and what was saying about her own placements and offer a part of what I was seeing. IP: Logged |
sassaqua
Knowflake Posts: 1268
From: Oz
Registered: May 2011
|
posted February 02, 2023 06:12 AM
If you have an unaspected Moon you will be very sensitive to elements it touches in another person's chart.A challenging aspect that someone has integrated and learned to live with in their own chart, will not be integrated for you, as an outsider tuning into that aspect: either aspecting via synastry, or not. That person therefore, may feel "abusive", because the characteristics are unfathomable to your unaspected Moon. This discussion perhaps is a synastry topic then.
IP: Logged |
93nov
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Oct 2019
|
posted February 02, 2023 10:27 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Dons2angelss:
You're welcome, the 12th house can be a trap for "victims". Her turning her actions into something she is a victim of sounds spot on. I'm a native 12th houser and I can honestly say that it took me well into my 30s to see how I was only a victim of myself. No one else ever had power over my actions/emotions, they were all controlled by me.If she is receptive to astrology, it can be an astounding tool to learn self awareness. Just don't say it like that to her lol. I'd approach the subject in a stroking her ego kind of way so it doesn't come off as an attack.
I turn 30 this year and I recently just discovered how self-aware I WASN'T up until this point which has caused so many issues and traumatic events throughout my life sighs. It's like I'm a totally different person now because my psyche was overthrown and wiped out by a much stronger, powerful force.
I have natal mars in Sagittarius conjunct NN in the 7H. Aries rules my 12H. I also have a 6H Scorpio stellium that totally contradicts it. It's insane.
IP: Logged |
Stawr
Moderator Posts: 8223
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010
|
posted February 18, 2023 07:17 AM
quote:
Originally posted by SleepyDiary:
Did you two have any Saturn aspects going on between you where he was Saturn or does he have any Saturn influence in his own natal chart? This sounds a lot like how Saturn harsh aspects can play out. Even if you have Saturn influence in your own natal esp Sun-Saturn, Saturn in the 7th or Mars-Saturn you might deal with a partner that tries to ‘’control’’ you by criticising you and not wanting you to become too confident in yourself in fear of losing you. Saturn can be very insecure and controlling
Good question. Saturn synastry was pretty positively aspected in our chart on both ends. For example his rising sign trines my Saturn. And his Saturn did not touch anything in my chart really. Though I will say I do have Saturn oppose his Fortune. I think this means I will get a good hunk of money from divorce. But we will see. Also a lot of his planets are in my 8th house. Ugh yeah we got engaged when Pluto was hitting my natal and Saturn Sun square. IP: Logged |
Stawr
Moderator Posts: 8223
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010
|
posted February 18, 2023 07:24 AM
quote:
Originally posted by UnaspectedMoon:
That’s so strange because that kind of treatment has the opposite effect on me. There’s no way I would stick around with someone who tries to hurt my confidence unless I’m desperate. Sounds counter intuitive. It’ sounds so petty, like “everyone should be insecure because I’m insecure and anyone who’s insecure deserves my respect”. Ugh. Toxicity at its finest.Anyway I did briefly know her mother and she immediately rubbed me the wrong way. She was so intrusive and annoying! Even more than my own mother who I find very irritating. So I guess I should feel bad for her. haha I’m a Gemini moon and I never seem to come into contact with Pisces types. If I do, they quickly disappear.
Yeah I thought my biological clock was ticking at 25. Pressure like that on women can sometimes make them settle. I usually stood up for myself...but then I realized I should not have to put so much energy into sticking up for myself. It's draining. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
