posted April 01, 2023 10:47 AM            

Afflicted Mars in Cancer
Moon square Pluto
Afflicted Cancer personal planets
Afflicted Capricorn personal planets (to a lesser degree)
Sun square Pluto

These are just my observations. My son has mars in cancer squaring his son and opposite pluto, he can be very spiteful to his younger brother. He also blames other people for his actions because of how they made him feel. I don't allow this in the slightest and I can come down pretty hard when he's blaming others for his own actions.

My kid's father has mars in leo 12th house squaring his sun and uranus and cap moon square Pluto. Spiteful to the extreme and it's one of the biggest reasons I left him. I don't think he'll ever grow out of it. We haven't been together in almost 8 years and still, if I don't appease him he will act out, even at the expense of our children, just out of pure spite to hurt me. He's told me stories about things he's done in secret to people who've made him mad. It's the secret part that really gets me too. If you've done something horrible to someone and that person doesn't even know, then you've done it for your own sick personal satisfaction and it's cowardly.

posted April 01, 2023 12:09 PM            

Afflicted Mars in Cancer
Moon square Pluto
Afflicted Cancer personal planets
Afflicted Capricorn personal planets (to a lesser degree)
Sun square Pluto
Afflicted Moon in Cancer. I try to "rise above it". My Sag Sun/Jup/Nep conj insists upon it. But in some instances, I cant. I hold a grudge and pretend the person does not exist. I don't know if that is the same as spite? But i tend yo discount you or cut you off abruptly when you have hurt me. I become cold and distant

These are just my observations. My son has mars in cancer squaring his son and opposite pluto, he can be very spiteful to his younger brother. He also blames other people for his actions because of how they made him feel. I don't allow this in the slightest and I can come down pretty hard when he's blaming others for his own actions.
Feelings are EVERYTHING to Cancer personal placement people. EVERYTHING. By coming down on him,YOU make yourself the enemy. He'll learn to internalize those feelings and get passive aggressive towards people. And even bully those who show feelings becausehe is mirroring what you unconsciously communicate to him i.e. "feelings are bad & inappropriate. Dont ever express them. "

How old is he? Mars in Cancer in boys is tricky. The boys learn quickly that they are a tad more sensitive & therefore also observe that boys are not "supposed" to be as sensitive as they many at times feel. So they learn to be macho to compensate for those "unmanly" feelings they often have and battle to express.

If you can teach them to channel that energy towards protecting those people who are vulnerable and in need of care & love, draw boundaries and clarity around what they expressly SAY they don't like VS. "Expecting " others to "just know" and therefore unintentionally transgress those boundaries and how to not give others the power to control their feelings by personalizing EVERYTHING and consider things from a bigger context i.e. did this person really intentionally go all out to hurt me?Or are they just also responding from a place of hurt? Then you will teaching "self responsibility" and "self care". Which is often what Cancer unconsciously expects from others and is never getting.

Cardinal signs i.e. Mars in Cancer, Aries, Cap, Lib can find it hard to conceal emotions of discontent.This world is not always about taking things on a surface level i.e. assuming that other people are as earnest about their feelings as you are.

Sometimes one must just put on a mask abd "act"as if on stage or detach. Anger needs to be expressed. I agree. But not EVERY situation deserves one's full passion and attention. It's a depletion of energy and related resources. And that's something these placements will each learn in their own respective ways.

My kid's father has mars in leo 12th house squaring his sun and uranus and cap moon square Pluto. Spiteful to the extreme and it's one of the biggest reasons I left him. I don't think he'll ever grow out of it. We haven't been together in almost 8 years and still, if I don't appease him he will act out, even at the expense of our children, just out of pure spite to hurt me. He's told me stories about things he's done in secret to people who've made him mad. It's the secret part that really gets me too. If you've done something horrible to someone and that person doesn't even know, then you've done it for your own sick personal satisfaction and it's cowardly.

posted April 01, 2023 04:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Dons2angelss:
[b]I abhor this trait more than any other. It triggers me in the worst way and I erupt in extremes. Spite disgusts me to my core, and I believe it's one of the lowest forms of human traits.
I've noticed these aspects are prone to spitefulness...

Afflicted Mars in Cancer
Moon square Pluto
Afflicted Cancer personal planets
Afflicted Capricorn personal planets (to a lesser degree)
Sun square Pluto
Afflicted Moon in Cancer. I try to "rise above it". My Sag Sun/Jup/Nep conj insists upon it. But in some instances, I cant. I hold a grudge and pretend the person does not exist. I don't know if that is the same as spite? But i tend yo discount you or cut you off abruptly when you have hurt me. I become cold and distant

These are just my observations. My son has mars in cancer squaring his son and opposite pluto, he can be very spiteful to his younger brother. He also blames other people for his actions because of how they made him feel. I don't allow this in the slightest and I can come down pretty hard when he's blaming others for his own actions.
Feelings are EVERYTHING to Cancer personal placement people. EVERYTHING. By coming down on him,YOU make yourself the enemy. He'll learn to internalize those feelings and get passive aggressive towards people. And even bully those who show feelings becausehe is mirroring what you unconsciously communicate to him i.e. "feelings are bad & inappropriate. Dont ever express them. "

How old is he? Mars in Cancer in boys is tricky. The boys learn quickly that they are a tad more sensitive & therefore also observe that boys are not "supposed" to be as sensitive as they many at times feel. So they learn to be macho to compensate for those "unmanly" feelings they often have and battle to express.

If you can teach them to channel that energy towards protecting those people who are vulnerable and in need of care & love, draw boundaries and clarity around what they expressly SAY they don't like VS. "Expecting " others to "just know" and therefore unintentionally transgress those boundaries and how to not give others the power to control their feelings by personalizing EVERYTHING and consider things from a bigger context i.e. did this person really intentionally go all out to hurt me?Or are they just also responding from a place of hurt? Then you will teaching "self responsibility" and "self care". Which is often what Cancer unconsciously expects from others and is never getting.

Cardinal signs i.e. Mars in Cancer, Aries, Cap, Lib can find it hard to conceal emotions of discontent.This world is not always about taking things on a surface level i.e. assuming that other people are as earnest about their feelings as you are.

Sometimes one must just put on a mask abd "act"as if on stage or detach. Anger needs to be expressed. I agree. But not EVERY situation deserves one's full passion and attention. It's a depletion of energy and related resources. And that's something these placements will each learn in their own respective ways.

My kid's father has mars in leo 12th house squaring his sun and uranus and cap moon square Pluto. Spiteful to the extreme and it's one of the biggest reasons I left him. I don't think he'll ever grow out of it. We haven't been together in almost 8 years and still, if I don't appease him he will act out, even at the expense of our children, just out of pure spite to hurt me. He's told me stories about things he's done in secret to people who've made him mad. It's the secret part that really gets me too. If you've done something horrible to someone and that person doesn't even know, then you've done it for your own sick personal satisfaction and it's cowardly.

Mars in 12th often acts in secret to avoid public reproach from others.Also, when acting in secret, one is almost guaranteed the automatic concealment of the identity of the pain giver. Because many often do not want to be seen as "the bad person".[/B]

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I don't think going cold, or holding a grudge is the same as actual spite. I go 100% cold like you never even existed if you've hurt me in a purposeful way or gone behind my back. True spite means you actively try to hurt or "get back" at someone because they've hurt you or they've done something you didn't like. Holding a grudge isn't necessarily spiteful, but acting upon that grudge is.

My son is 15 now yes he is extremely sensitive, always has been. We have many many long talks about how beautiful it is to be so empathetic, especially as a teenage boy. I try to teach him that while it's very healthy and normal to have feelings, it's never ok to take those out on others and he can use his empathy in a positive way, even if someone hurts his feelings. I tell him that I understand he has very strong feelings, especially about his little brother, and he can be easily triggered and we're working on coping with the strong emotions. He has a habit of blaming others for his actions because of how they made him feel. He also has Asperger's and that puts his emotional level a couple of years behind so we're also handling that.
Spite is a form of manipulation and I don't have any tolerance for it. I explain why it's not healthy and how it can negatively impact him. He also bottles up all of his emotions (moon conjunct Saturn) but that's a whole other post. We're working on that too.

posted April 02, 2023 05:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dons2angelss:

I don't think going cold, or holding a grudge is the same as actual spite. I go 100% cold like you never even existed if you've hurt me in a purposeful way or gone behind my back. True spite means you actively try to hurt or "get back" at someone because they've hurt you or they've done something you didn't like. Holding a grudge isn't necessarily spiteful, but acting upon that grudge is.

My son is 15 now yes he is extremely sensitive, always has been. We have many many long talks about how beautiful it is to be so empathetic, especially as a teenage boy. I try to teach him that while it's very healthy and normal to have feelings, it's never ok to take those out on others and he can use his empathy in a positive way, even if someone hurts his feelings. I tell him that I understand he has very strong feelings, especially about his little brother, and he can be easily triggered and we're working on coping with the strong emotions. He has a habit of blaming others for his actions because of how they made him feel. He also has Asperger's and that puts his emotional level a couple of years behind so we're also handling that.
Spite is a form of manipulation and I don't have any tolerance for it. I explain why it's not healthy and how it can negatively impact him. He also bottles up all of his emotions (moon conjunct Saturn) but that's a whole other post. We're working on that too.

His dad on the other hand is well aware of his actions and simply just doesn't care. I truly believe he feels better when he's being spiteful. Mars in the 12th perfectly describes him and his hidden actions but I have quite a lot going on in my 12th and it's no excuse. I think it's worse to actually see the damage you cause and not care about it than to just not understand what you're doing. He understands completely. My son doesn't really get it at the moment and like you said, if I don't help him channel those feelings and just punish him he'll see me as the enemy. I can be very unwavering and I set very strong boundaries (obviously attuned to his level of understanding) but I'd never just sweep his feelings under the rug. I feel what's going on under the surface and help him sort it out and understand how he's feeling so it doesn't lead to spite or vindictiveness.

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Bravo to you. Being a parent is such an extraordinary role to play👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿. ❤❤❤❤❤❤

The above wasn't meant as criticism btw, just my 2 cents worth since we have 3 Cancer placement people in my family. Mom (Mars in Cancer), Dad(Sun in Cancer) , Sis(Moon in Cancer) and me (Moon in Cancer).

With such an environment,one learns to tread very lightly. Very lightly. Staying with Cancers can be like walking on a landmine.

posted April 02, 2023 10:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Librapurr:
I used to be attracted to people who have some screw up bitchy stuff. I found them interesting and entertaining. I didn’t take those things too personally. When I went through some things I started to get terrified what some people are capable of. I don’t really know how to live with it because for nice and right people I might sound too intense ( I have heavy Mercury and Libra heart🫤 ) and I still find strong emotions and dark side of human nature to be intriguing.

Also, I like when people aware of their dark sides, can confess and take responsibility. I don’t like when someone pretends saint and his **** doesn’t stink.

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posted April 03, 2023 03:02 PM            

I don't act spitefully in the way you describe. Never to inflict true harm on someone. But I recognize the trait in me. If someone comes at me with a superior attitude and tells me what to do, spite will have me do the exact opposite. For example, I think I pursued higher education just to spite the guidance counselor that adviced otherwise. Didn't needle her about it, but I felt great spiteful pleasure when she congratulated on my first degree. Different sort of spitefulness maybe, more contrarian than truly malicious, but still spite I think.

posted April 04, 2023 03:38 AM            

« Schadenfreude has been detected in children as young as 24 months and may be an important social emotion establishing “inequity aversion".»

(Article) There Is No Joy like Malicious Joy: Schadenfreude in Young Children http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4079297/ (These results support an early evolutionary origin of inequity aversion and indicate that schadenfreude has evolved as a response to unfairness.)

As a cancer mars rising adult, Schadenfreude can be chef’s kiss. Karma is the best reality TV 🍿

hands-down and hands-off, without-spite (read: non-reactivity), I still enjoy paying attention and tribute to justice, a higher power.

Your son will learn over time to not take the inequalities of life personally. A dignified Cancer mars is to turn the other cheek so to speak. Let the aggressor expose/foil themselves.

Cancer Rising Mars trine Sun
Sun square Pluto
Capricorn Moon/Uranus/Neptune sextile Pluto

On a side note, Mars in Cancer is an exceptional placement for tennis! For the sake of his martian (boyish) development, get him enrolled into a youth tennis program, weekly classes, summer camp! It will help with his confidence, discernment, application, decision, and precision. And honestly, it doesn't sound like he has a healthy father figure, so get him to spend regular time around a tennis couch, who can teach him self-discipline in a technical form. The earlier his age the better. You are giving him the key to a lifelong sport; no player is too young or too old for it.

The beauty of tennis is that its a game of mental discipline; alone with only yourself on a court with an opponent. I’ve lost/thrown entire matches to a player that was ranked much lower than me merely because my emotions in the moment were getting in the way of technique. Do you comprehend how excellent this practice is for a cancer mars? The accountability

posted April 04, 2023 10:09 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by vansio:
On behalf of your son, Spite might be an incorrect assessment...

«[b] Schadenfreude has been detected in children as young as 24 months and may be an important social emotion establishing “inequity aversion".»

(Article) There Is No Joy like Malicious Joy: Schadenfreude in Young Children http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4079297/ (These results support an early evolutionary origin of inequity aversion and indicate that schadenfreude has evolved as a response to unfairness.)

As a cancer mars rising adult, Schadenfreude can be chef’s kiss. Karma is the best reality TV 🍿

hands-down and hands-off, without-spite (read: non-reactivity), I still enjoy paying attention and tribute to justice, a higher power.

Your son will learn over time to not take the inequalities of life personally. A dignified Cancer mars is to turn the other cheek so to speak. Let the aggressor expose/foil themselves.

Cancer Rising Mars trine Sun
Sun square Pluto
Capricorn Moon/Uranus/Neptune sextile Pluto

On a side note, Mars in Cancer is an exceptional placement for tennis! For the sake of his martian (boyish) development, get him enrolled into a youth tennis program, weekly classes, summer camp! It will help with his confidence, discernment, application, decision, and precision. And honestly, it doesn't sound like he has a healthy father figure, so get him to spend regular time around a tennis couch, who can teach him self-discipline in a technical form. The earlier his age the better. You are giving him the key to a lifelong sport; no player is too young or too old for it.

The beauty of tennis is that its a game of mental discipline; alone with only yourself on a court with an opponent. I’ve lost/thrown entire matches to a player that was ranked much lower than me merely because my emotions in the moment were getting in the way of technique. Do you comprehend how excellent this practice is for a cancer mars? The accountability

lol its been 15 years and I still occasionally think about (incredible lesson) how i lost a teen tournament match against a BEGINNER because *I* could not keep a cool head. during this game, their lack of form was throwing me off, and i ended up losing it all because i became so fixated on them, what they were doing “wrong” with the ball. it was my fault i lost—no one to blame but myself. was so embarrassing.[/B]

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