posted August 11, 2024 04:09 AM            

She said that I am creative and imaginative and she sees me in a career that involves creativity. Also using this while being of service to other people, and helping them. Which seems to echo my 12th house stellium.

The thing is, I’ve been very lost. I’ve been thinking a lot about my purpose in my life. I still don’t know. I know what my goals and dreams are, but what I’m here for is still a mystery to me.
I’ve been trying to find my “calling” but it’s hard. I don’t know how when I struggle being present in the world.
It’s a real issue.
I’m not kidding you, I spend SO much time daydreaming. More than half of my life has been spent daydreaming while just drifting along life for the ride. I cannot be present long.
I believe I might be a bit ADHD undiagnosed because for as long as I remember I cannot stay concentrating on a task for long. This makes it so hard for me to be productive.

I’m pretty sure I have what they call maladaptive daydreaming. Having this makes me feel useless. I love it, but it’s what’s getting in the way of “living
“ life and I don’t know how to stop it.
It seems like daydreaming is the only thing I actually stay focused on and enjoy doing. But where’s that going to get me?

I took a poetry class, where my professor gave me a lot of encouraging feedback. She liked my poems, and it made me feel like maybe it was another door to creativity I didn’t know I had. But on the other hand maybe she was just being encouraging because she is my professor and she wanted to be nice.

I know I’m a pretty good drawer, as I also took a drawing class and ppl I showed my drawings to were impressed with my beginner drawing skills.

But I can’t stay focused too long on any of these things. I’ll sit for like 10 minutes before I get the urge to go off and listen to music while I daydream.
I thought maybe the problem is my daydreams are better than real life, so maybe I should try to make it a reality? But the thing is it’s a very unrealistic fantasy.
I almost always daydream about me being a musician. I don’t think I’ll be able to bring my true daydreams to reality, but I thought it’s worth a shot to try?
I’ve been inspired by my favorite musicians to learn the guitar, so I just recently bought one. I enjoyed playing it so far, but I yet again can’t focus for long 🫠 it’s also too soon for me to tell if I have any niche for it yet.

Ever since I was little I wanted to be an artist of some sort, but due to my inattentiveness, never able to assert myself enough to find my niche

I’m hoping my chart can give some clues to what kind of creativity she might be referring to? Is it creativity in music, writing, drawing, or something else? I asked her if she knew what kind, but she said she just saw creativity and in like a business.

Also, if anyone has any suggestions or advice on how to use this daydreaming for something useful, or how to stop it completely so I do not let my life pass by with me living in my mind 24/7 I would really appreciate it🥲

posted August 12, 2024 12:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I have read and looked at your chart. But it doesn't seem like the right time for me to respond now. And so I will respond When more settled. Maybe even days from now.

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posted August 14, 2024 12:13 PM            

Being an artist means that you need to draw inspiration constantly from things. Sometimes (because of Venus' corrosive nature)that can mean drawing inspiration from personal disappointments and pain. Then from that pain,one creates beauty.

Other artists are inspired by a need to recreate the world and have it exist in another way. In a way that it does not exist to many now. So they can take others on the journey to see and experience the world with differing lenses.

So whilst you may think your daydreaming is not "productive", it could be serving a pathway through which you can be able to access your creativity.

The process however may take years. And in the meantime, you may have to do work (admittedly that which is adhoc in nature)in order to get by. But even in this work, there could be samples of it that you use to create something beautiful.

A quilt is made from a multiplicity of patches. Some of these pieces are not woven into the final piece without having to go through an experience that will inspire them into being.

Your Venus is in house 1 conj Merc/Sun and square Plu. Merc rules your 4th and intercepted 7th house. Whilst Sun rules your 7th house.

The Plu aspect to those planets suggests to me that at some point in your life, these areas of life will go through a radical change. This by way of loss or destruction.

These changes will affect you(1st house Venus conj these planets) and will alter who you know yourself to be (Venus rules the 8th house).

The meaning you attach to these experiences that you gain will not be overnight. Painful(some will be) but in each there will be gain. And this will come through in the progression of years i.e. maturity.

Since you have Plu conj Mc and opp Ic, that means that your career/reputation will have some connection to the shadow side of life i.e. greed,jealousy,envy, desire to control or will to dominate life etc. The personification of Sauron(Lord of the Rings).

It could be that these themes are what you touch upon in your work? Maybe you cover issues of mortality and death? The personification of Satan and God? Drugs,Human trafficking, Child labour and related exploitation etc. Very dark stuff.

With Saturn in 1st house and ruling the 11th(liquid gains), coming into yourself and applying yourself will take time. People with Saturn in 1st often mature later in life.

When Sat rules the 11th house of gains, that means that those rewards will be delayed. Naturally, that is aligned with the timing of when you "come into your own"(Sat in 1st).

The Sat opp to Mars suggests that it is then that your efforts and energy will be more concentrated. And you will be less distracted because clarity of purpose will be realized. Saturn has matured along with Mars. This so much so that you can even be a "workaholic".

So what to do now? Because if that is a long time coming, you can't fast forward to then,you still need to go through the now. And that means that you will be going through life doing the normal 9-5 or whatever vocation that takes your fancy.

Notice how ruler of the 6th(Moon) is conj Uranus? Ruler of the 10th(Jupiter) is conj Uranus? This suggests to me that these will be sporadic and impermanent in nature.

posted August 14, 2024 09:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Stellium in 12th house suggests your private life is more energy consuming than "real" life. So it's not a wonder why you would spend most of your time there.

Being an artist means that you need to draw inspiration constantly from things. Sometimes (because of Venus' corrosive nature)that can mean drawing inspiration from personal disappointments and pain. Then from that pain,one creates beauty.

Other artists are inspired by a need to recreate the world and have it exist in another way. In a way that it does not exist to many now. So they can take others on the journey to see and experience the world with differing lenses.

So whilst you may think your daydreaming is not "productive", it could be serving a pathway through which you can be able to access your creativity.

The process however may take years. And in the meantime, you may have to do work (admittedly that which is adhoc in nature)in order to get by. But even in this work, there could be samples of it that you use to create something beautiful.

A quilt is made from a multiplicity of patches. Some of these pieces are not woven into the final piece without having to go through an experience that will inspire them into being.

Your Venus is in house 1 conj Merc/Sun and square Plu. Merc rules your 4th and intercepted 7th house. Whilst Sun rules your 7th house.

The Plu aspect to those planets suggests to me that at some point in your life, these areas of life will go through a radical change. This by way of loss or destruction.

These changes will affect you(1st house Venus conj these planets) and will alter who you know yourself to be (Venus rules the 8th house).

The meaning you attach to these experiences that you gain will not be overnight. Painful(some will be) but in each there will be gain. And this will come through in the progression of years i.e. maturity.

Since you have Plu conj Mc and opp Ic, that means that your career/reputation will have some connection to the shadow side of life i.e. greed,jealousy,envy, desire to control or will to dominate life etc. The personification of Sauron(Lord of the Rings).

It could be that these themes are what you touch upon in your work? Maybe you cover issues of mortality and death? The personification of Satan and God? Drugs,Human trafficking, Child labour and related exploitation etc. Very dark stuff.

With Saturn in 1st house and ruling the 11th(liquid gains), coming into yourself and applying yourself will take time. People with Saturn in 1st often mature later in life.

When Sat rules the 11th house of gains, that means that those rewards will be delayed. Naturally, that is aligned with the timing of when you "come into your own"(Sat in 1st).

The Sat opp to Mars suggests that it is then that your efforts and energy will be more concentrated. And you will be less distracted because clarity of purpose will be realized. Saturn has matured along with Mars. This so much so that you can even be a "workaholic".

So what to do now? Because if that is a long time coming, you can't fast forward to then,you still need to go through the now. And that means that you will be going through life doing the normal 9-5 or whatever vocation that takes your fancy.

Notice how ruler of the 6th(Moon) is conj Uranus? Ruler of the 10th(Jupiter) is conj Uranus? This suggests to me that these will be sporadic and impermanent in nature.

As I said earlier in the post,what u do right now is only to collect inspiration. Its transient.

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Wow are you psychic? It’s a bit chilling how you brought up how that work may touch up on the darker side of life. Actually that is something that weighs upon me often, that no astrologer has actually been able to see. It’s always missing from their interpretation along with my mental health issues. Although is vaguely mentioned through their interpretation of my 12th house. But no one ever gets it quite right. Even though it’s something that affects me every day

I actually feel like maybe it’s possible I’ve already gone through those transformations you mentioned . At least I hope so because the very first one was extremely mentally painful for me.
I think the first one might have been when I was 16 I underwent severe depression. Where I felt suicidal everyday. It definitely affected my psyche severely. I always say I never felt the same since. I’ve had to teach myself how to think a bit differently if I had to go on. I definitely feel like that was a very transforming time for me.

Another time I felt my whole world shift was only a few years ago when I discovered the dark web. I read some things about what ppl have seen on there that really changed how I saw the world.
I had known before that evil ppl existed, but I thought those were very rare occasions or things made up in movies.
But I started going down rabbit holes that just have disturbed me since. And I realized how things like that happen every day. It’s hard to feel like you can go on about your day normal when you discover these things going on.

There’s a lot of things I’ve discovered through going down these rabbit holes that I probably should have avoided. All touching on the subjects you mentioned, human trafficking, death, God, Satan, and just these very dark areas of life that remain hidden from all of us.
I’ve been trying to keep myself away from going to deep now, because it has only caused me confusion and feeling lost.
I try to tell my mom about it but she just tells me to ignore that stuff. But I feel like I can’t.

So it’s really crazy to me how you mentioned that, especially since no one has spotted that in my chart yet.

Also really interesting that you mention that I will mature later in life, or that creativity will come later because only as of lately have I felt like I’m starting to understand creativity more through inspiration I’ve been getting lately. I never used to feel the need to DO something myself. I always just passively wished and imagined doing the things I dream of rather than taking action.

I feel like it’s a start. Like in my poetry class I felt like I tapped into a creativity I didn’t know I had. I’m usually very inhibited and reluctant to express myself out of fear of ppl judging me or not liking it. But slowly I’ve been trying to just let creative juices flow. And imagine in my head different sounds of music and using poetry to understand rythm more in music. The music I have been listening to, that I just discovered and never listened to before kind opened that door for me, with possibilities. And that feeling has made me feel more free than I have ever felt in my life. And it’s such a great feeling I hope it lasts. It’s still all in my imagination so maybe it’s just an illusion. I will only know with time I guess.

I will say it does scare me a bit to think I might go through another transformation. I’m not sure how much I can handle 😓

But thank you so much for your insight. I remember you have helped me interpret my chart so many times in the past and your insight has always been helpful. You’re so good at interpreting charts and pointing out new things I wasn’t aware of. Then you mention them and I’m like oh yeah that makes sense!

posted August 15, 2024 03:31 AM            

Isn't it fascinating that we can take the same chart and see differing perspectives? Interpret it in brand new and uncharted ways the more our ability to intuit meanings to the planetary symbols increases?

I could even interpret the same chart 4 years from now and go even DEEPER still with new insights and profundity that have never been explored. This to a point where people think I am "psychic" 🤣.

I am not. I am just reading the labels and telling you what they are telling me in a unfiltered way. Is that the definition of being "psychic"?Hmmm...🤔

Anyways, I wanted to touch on something you highlighted. And that thing was referring to mental illness.

Ura/Nep on Moon (sometimes Sun) can show up as mental "illness". But one can't jump into conclusions because the two can also suggest genius ☝🏿 Its a fine line.

This makes sense as geniuses were often considered "abnormal" or "delusional" by their peers or even the time they lived/live in. They have to be. Because they are tapping into worlds outside of that which is known.That's where genius lives.

But it can happen(admittedly)that the mind can warp towards dis-ease. This for instance in terms of paranoia, schizophrenia or other related episodes. But even those(from a spiritual perspective) can also be seen as one being in intimate contact with other realms/beings.

There have been many "crazies" in history who have been locked up for their ideas(whether helping or hindering human progress).Society doesn't revere those who challenge their norm or make them feel less 'comfortable'. Those pioneers become the target of ridicule /seclusion and even death.

I don't have the details of your illness to make a call, nor am I a certified psychiatrist who can dispute whatever diagnoses you've received on your mental health.

But I do think that since the mind is that part of us that we cannot conveniently "cut off" like a rotting limb or pop like a boil to remove the puss etc. We must find a way to continue to befriend it and have it work for us.

So we must be cautious about what we label the mind holistically. And the beliefs that we tell ourselves about its mental state. For that can be a knell which invalidates our own inner genius.

Often times "mental illness" is deemed as that because it is outside the agreed upon boundaries of what is "normal" by conventional science.

It is no problem to science if you live out what they deem as "reality". Work out formulas that create bombs for instance. And that to me is what is the real mental illness- as one is destroying the planet they live in. What other definition of illness could be more fitting?

However,this is not so with mainstream norms.To them,u become an issue when u break out from their formed definition of "reality" and say that you see Angels ,Extra Terrestrials or can hear voices etc.

And Neptune/Uranus on Moon can be the type of energy that transgresses "reality" a lot. Making it difficult to discern if you are still "sane" i.e. living in this reality? Or accessing a completely differing one?

So unless these states make you physically ill up to the point of being unable to get out of bed( in pain and anguish), I would rather say "I am sometimes mentally out of bounds", "outside accepted norms" OR "I see/feel/hear things that are not yet tangible to others" etc.

The latter gives off The 6th sense "I see dead people" vibes, so perhaps that should be said to a select few people (if any at all)🙃. As people can easily freak out when it comes to such things.

This "out of bounds" nature will be what works for you as the creative force for your genius. For the Moon rules the 5th house of creativity in your chart.