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Author
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Topic: building self esteem?
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Mannequin
Knowflake Posts: 103
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 05:07 PM
 
i need tips on how to build self esteem, and stop doubting myself.  IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Moderator Posts: 518
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 05:38 PM
Well, how about each day, you write a list of 3 things that you like about yourself and another of 3 things you're grateful for.This will help you see the glass as half full instead of half empty. When you do this, focus on yourself and what YOU have, not on others and of what they lack. if I think of something else, I'll add! IP: Logged |
Writesomething
Knowflake Posts: 1059
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 11:09 PM
in 100 years, will it really matter? i read that on a board in jr high, and it really stuck with me. a lack of self esteem is usually because of social issues, etc..just realize were all gonna die someday, and half the sh-t we worry about is not important. enjoy life, go outside, watch stupid movies, help others, etc. i feel the best when im helping people.IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 611
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 03:16 AM
When things go wrong and you say "it's because I'm not good enough," or similar, stop yourself, rethink it, and look at it a different way. As a topical example, what about looking for a job? Recently I spent time on an application and are pleased with the result. But I knew it was a departure from my normal line of work even though I could answer all the requirements. When I got a rejection letter, I was disappointed but it did say they received a "large number of high calibre candidates". Was I rejected because I wasn't good enough? Or did someone else have more relevant experience on their C.V? I look at it that someone else was better suited for this job at this time. It doesn't mean I'm not good enough to get a decent job elsewhere or that I couldn't have done this one well if I had been given the opportunity. There's a major recession here, there are a lot of people chasing after the same thing. Maybe, better luck next time! IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 999
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 04:31 PM
I had this older cousin named Bobby. He was like the shining star of high school. You know the kind, popular, good looking, sports hero. The whole nine yards.
One day I was grumbling to my Aunt, his mother about Bobby. I said, "Aunt Ellen, it's not fair, Bobby is good at everything!"And she just smiled and said, "No, Bobby only does the things he is good at." My long, Dear Abbyish point is this...
How about finding, focusing, honing in on the things that you are good at? Keep building your skills in those areas and once people take notice of that, I bet your self esteem will have a healthy boost.
That is just for starters...... IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Moderator Posts: 518
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 04:41 PM
GypseeWind~ Your Aunt is a wise woman. Great advice.IP: Logged |
Deux*Antares
Knowflake Posts: 408
From: No Permanent Address
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 04:50 PM
I would suggest you attend an acting workshop. It cured me of my extreme shyness and low self-esteem.  IP: Logged |
stopandstare
Knowflake Posts: 102
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 14, 2009 12:27 AM
mannequin: is there something specific that you are feeling low about and having self-doubt about? job, school, etc?it helps to read stories about other people who have gone through the same struggle and know that you are not alone. in general, just know that you are not alone. everyone has bad days and bad times and feels bad about themselves. everyone is special and has something in them that sets them apart. good luck and all the best. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 909
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 14, 2009 09:05 AM
Nice answers here.It's not easy to do and takes time/practice to be loving and gentle on yourself. I think low self esteem is often rooted in childhood and having a critical or uptight parent. Continue to remind yourself that you are a good person and learning and doing the best you can. When you find yourself finding fault in yourself, see if you can look at it a different way and then "let go" and learn from it. It also helps to try and find the humor & "lightness" in most everything, including yourself. IP: Logged |
Starshine
Knowflake Posts: 12
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 14, 2009 06:50 PM
Although there is magic all around us it is sometimes hard to perceive it and harness it for our own good will. That is why we as humans need some kind of trigger or focus like religion or ritual in order to shift from the ego-mind to the spirit-heart. I personally like to take flower essences for particular feelings that come up (like self esteem for example). Doing something in the physical realm (taking flower essences) helps me by physically getting into my system and it's a psychological help as well. I will suggest a couple that come to mind straight away, but in order to be the most effective (and recommend anything more suitable) I'd love to know more about your situation. Did these feelings of lack of self esteem and self doubt happen due to an event or series of events? Or have you always felt like this? Here's what I suggest without knowing more: Larch
You expect to fail and lack confidence in your skills.
“For those who do not consider themselves as good or capable as those around them, who expect failure, who feel that they will never be a success, an so do not venture or make a strong enough attempt to succeed.”
- Dr Edward Bach Cerato
You know what you want to do but doubt your judgement.
“Those who have not sufficient confidence in themselves to make their own decisions. They constantly seek advice from others, and are often misguided”
- Dr Edward Bach
Please be gentle with yourself!
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`Who are you?' said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'
~Lewis Carroll (Formerly known as Hexxie) IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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