Lindaland
  Lindaland Central 2.0
  Am I really just a number???

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Am I really just a number???
etherealenlightenment
Knowflake

Posts: 163
From: far away...
Registered: May 2009

posted September 07, 2009 10:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for etherealenlightenment     Edit/Delete Message
Ugh!! I don't understand anything anymore... Is the world really so cruel?? Doesn't anybody CARE about anything anymore... or try to make a difference?? This is just so baffling and upsetting to me.... how generic and artificial people have become...
I'll explain my rant: I'm working at a very well-known hotel right now as a hostess, (yes, not the most exciting or high-paying job) but even though it's kind of temporary and it's not what I necessarily love, I generally enjoy it. The hotel recently lost it's 5th star because of slightly lowered "personal service." i.e. not friendly enough, not responding to each guest by name,etc." These are actual 5-star-hotel requirements. So as an actress and a caring person, I took it upon myself to improve this area of service. I have actually managed to memorize almost every guest in the dining room's name each night and make them feel much more welcome... needless to say, the guests absolutely love it! They thank me for it every day, emphasizing on what a part the service plays in their experience at the hotel resort... My male boss (who is a total prick) has actually commended me on my exceptional memory and treatment of the guests, to my surprise. This of course, leads me to believe that I am doing a good job, but my female boss seems to not like it very much. Even though I am merely a hostess (and one of many I might add) I am the ONLY person in the dining room that even TRIES to take some personal interest or be attentive to the guests!! This deeply bothers me... I feel that it is my job.

I genuinely want to make sure that the guests have a positive experience dining with us because that's the kind of treatment that I myself would appreciate. Since I work 5-6 days a week and they each stay for about 4-5 days at a time, I tend to get to know the guests very well. They constantly invite me to talk with them (although I try to keep it very very brief), I check on them and make sure that all is well (the managers DONT EVEN DO THAT!), and then I get in trouble for making the guests happy because I'm "not a manager."

Am I really just a number?? Could it really be? It's such a painful realization... I'm starting to really think that the female manager has it out for me for some reason... ugh... just when I thought I found a woman I could get along with... someone said she could just be jealous that the guests don't respond to her that way? that she feels like I'm trying to do her job?... and then there was a conversation earlier that I had no idea she was listening into... some people were talking about modeling and they were like asking what the walk looks like and I mentioned that I used to do runway... and so then later she was like so where did you do modeling? kind of in a catty way... WOMEN...

Anyway, sorry about the novel, but this is something that is really important to me. I want to be able to make a difference and do something GOOD for people even if I'm not recognized for it... but at the same time I don't want to lose my job...

IP: Logged

etherealenlightenment
Knowflake

Posts: 163
From: far away...
Registered: May 2009

posted September 07, 2009 10:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for etherealenlightenment     Edit/Delete Message

I was wondering if anything in my chart showed conflict with work?

Any insight would be much appreciated.

IP: Logged

Writesomething
Knowflake

Posts: 1177
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 07, 2009 10:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Writesomething     Edit/Delete Message
Im sorry to hear that, and can relate to how you feel somewhat. I think you sound quite refreshing in regards to your attitude for the job. Making the best of a situation, and working hard is always admirable no matter what the position.
It doesnt matter what you say and do in life, theres always going to be people finding ways to claw at you, and tear you down. If youre rich, great looking, funny, life of the party, doesnt matter...people will still find ways to dislike you even if youre neither of those things..You cant make other people happy, and it doesnt really seem like its ever worth the effort. Just keep being the kind, good person you sound like you are, and the rest will follow. Negativity attracts negativity, step out of your thoughts for a second, and see it from an outsider....People like her come into our lives to strengthen our wills and mold our personalities, she is pushing you(for whatever karmic, or random reason) subconciously to see if she can bring you down to her level, and fail at work. I feel youre better than that. Good luck with the situation. Try to be kind to her, you never know what she might be going thru in her personal life.

IP: Logged

etherealenlightenment
Knowflake

Posts: 163
From: far away...
Registered: May 2009

posted September 07, 2009 11:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for etherealenlightenment     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you for your response, writesomething!

I'm glad you understand how I feel... like I said earlier, maybe I'm just very naive but I refuse to believe that the world is THAT cruel!! (Pisces Moon here) My concern is that although she is the one "testing" my will, she also has the authority to get rid of me... what if she decides to fire me for something like that?? Although it makes no rational sense to me, that is exactly what I'm afraid of. I cannot lose my job. But at the same time I don't want to compromise what I believe in... can I really have my cake and eat it too??

If it helps at all, I have her chart.

IP: Logged

etherealenlightenment
Knowflake

Posts: 163
From: far away...
Registered: May 2009

posted September 07, 2009 11:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for etherealenlightenment     Edit/Delete Message

IP: Logged

SpooL
Knowflake

Posts: 56
From: Toronto/Ottawa,Canada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 07, 2009 11:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SpooL     Edit/Delete Message
I know how you feel I'm a Weekend Night Auditor at a small lodge and I spend my time correcting a lot of mistakes both

Room charges beeing posted wrong and basic front desk people not doing there jobs properly.

In front of guests i'm always correcting basic mistakes that make us look bad.

I know it sounds obvious but I think shes just been there to long and so used to things being that way, doesn't want to change.

I still disagree with a Taurus I work with there over things. In a way she cares to but I perfer to fix the problem directly rather then wait and take things slowly.

Example a guest wants to stay a week longer I say extend now before the rooms fill up.

Ms Taurus whould rather wait and then find out its full making us look bad.

Then she goes on a crack down on other peoples mistakes disregarding her own.

But its intresting because shes been there longer then me but I'm a Night Auditor.

So we both have authority, after 9pm and before 8am it my call and I call the shoots not her. After then its her turn.

I don't bother arguing with her I just ignore her as much as I can. I don't know how much you can.

Think of a Taurus like a rock wedged in the ground. You can pull hard on it and try to get it out of the ground but it won't budge.

Thats a Taurus.

IP: Logged

etherealenlightenment
Knowflake

Posts: 163
From: far away...
Registered: May 2009

posted September 07, 2009 11:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for etherealenlightenment     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks, Spool!

Well, I'm sorry to hear that you're in a similar situation, but luckily you have the authority! I, on the other hand, do not.

You make a very good point about her being there for such a long time that she just doesn't want things to change. This is definitely a possibility. She is an Aqua Sun with a Capricorn Moon and Capricorn AC...

The problem is, whether she wants it or not, if the hotel is going to get it's 5th star back, some changes definitely need to be made! It confuses me so much... on the one hand, they're always telling us that we need to try to make a difference and that this is about "teamwork" and getting that 5th star... while on the other, they don't want to implement the changes necessary to get it back!

I just refuse to bring myself down to a level of mediocrity.

IP: Logged

etherealenlightenment
Knowflake

Posts: 163
From: far away...
Registered: May 2009

posted September 07, 2009 11:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for etherealenlightenment     Edit/Delete Message
lol Spool I'm a taurus!

But to be honest... I don't get along with very many tauruses at all... they drive me crazy!!! maybe it's because I'm a very late taurus! I'm also much more watery than I am earthy... I have a Pisces Moon/Mars, Jupiter in Cancer, Chiron in Cancer, Pluto in Scorpio and most of my planets fall in "watery" houses...

IP: Logged

BlueRoamer
Knowflake

Posts: 37
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 07, 2009 11:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueRoamer     Edit/Delete Message
Lots of women are very catty....they feel intimidated by younger/more attractive women.

you aren't just a number, being kind to people and making an effort is its own reward. Just keep doing what you're doing and karma will reward you. don't alloow your energy by lowered by those around you, you are your own person. When your boss is catty, just feel your emotions and respond politely. She can't hurt you if you don't let her.

A lot of people place great importance on youthful(especially their own) beauty. People like this fail to develop their inner lives and end up ugly old shells with no soul, no knowledge, no compassion. This is not their fault, its just their ignorance, and you dohn't have to be brought down by it.

IP: Logged

SpooL
Knowflake

Posts: 56
From: Toronto/Ottawa,Canada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 07, 2009 11:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SpooL     Edit/Delete Message
Well theres two taurus I work with one really likes me because I'm always helping out and trying to make things work and we both care.

Shes more like you the other one is something else.

It takes a drain to work in the hospitality industry and most people get to the point of not carring after a while. If not for capircorn rising and sense of duty I whould have started not carring.

Its a paradox were in a way they care to improve to get the 5 star rating, but at the same time they don't really care either.

It all about trying to look good, but not wanting to really improve.

IP: Logged

etherealenlightenment
Knowflake

Posts: 163
From: far away...
Registered: May 2009

posted September 07, 2009 11:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for etherealenlightenment     Edit/Delete Message
Spool, haha yes, maybe. What is your Sun/Moon/AC??

IP: Logged

SpooL
Knowflake

Posts: 56
From: Toronto/Ottawa,Canada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 07, 2009 11:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SpooL     Edit/Delete Message
Capircorn Rissing
Sun Gemini
Moon Aries
Venus in Taurus

Its funny thought guests are always friendly to both me and her. But not every one else.

*PS I edited my early post.

IP: Logged

etherealenlightenment
Knowflake

Posts: 163
From: far away...
Registered: May 2009

posted September 07, 2009 11:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for etherealenlightenment     Edit/Delete Message
Blue Roamer, yes this is true... I've run in to many-a-catty woman in my life...

But I am also just speculating. There could be an entirely different reason for her disliking me. Maybe even just plain annoyance. Our synastry isn't very good... we have an exact Sun square Sun doozy to begin with... among many other nasty aspects... maybe she interprets my warm attentiveness as kissing butt??

IP: Logged

etherealenlightenment
Knowflake

Posts: 163
From: far away...
Registered: May 2009

posted September 07, 2009 11:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for etherealenlightenment     Edit/Delete Message
Spool, yes I have noticed this as well. Very artificial. Only concerned with appearances. This deeply saddens me... I don't understand such a surfaced approach... maybe it's b/c of the dominance of water in my chart... I have a desire for things to be deeper than that... no matter what the endeavor...

I weep for the world ... I just don't get it...

On a side note, I've noticed Cap Moons and AC to be extremely common in the hospitality industry... 3 of my coworkers have Cap Moons and both my managers do as well...

IP: Logged

cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake

Posts: 1276
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 08, 2009 05:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cpn_edgar_winner     Edit/Delete Message
ee - i highly commend you for trying to do a good job. there will always be people who look at you with a jealous eye. someday it will pay off for you.

even waitressing i made more than all the other waitresses because i was good at it. smile, talk....circle like a hawk and argue with chefs to get stuff right....but i see waitresses who could give a fig, brought me rotten tater and i said, did the cook not notice this black potato when he was cooking it? then i watched her throw it away and go print hte ticket...i would have shown that to the cook and said, seriously, how do you not notice when you are cooking bad food. she didnt even care. i will never again ever eat there because of how that waitress handled that situation. not only did he not notice, she didn't either, and didn't care either. what a gross experience.

but promotions come to those who try to do a good job. i am proof that you can take a menial job and end up with a decent career with hard work.

don't let it get you down! she is obviously jealous of you. you'll have that.

and writesomething has a valid point. this one lady who works for me, never smiled, always dour...one day she came in the office and broke down cring after working for a year and told me how her husband of 27 years had kicked her out and how his mental bi-polar issues have declined rapidly in the last several years. she totally keeps to herself carrying the weight of the world on her little shoulders and working a lot to support her family at a time when she should be considering retirement. we really don't know what other people go through. she is a nice lady, all that time i thought she was sucking lemons, but really she had a hard life at home.

IP: Logged

GypseeWind
Knowflake

Posts: 1396
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted September 08, 2009 07:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message
Uggg, I feel for you E.E.

I have worked in the service industry most of my life, save for a year here and there when I've taken me some 'breaks' you know, for mental health reasons.

Why some people get into the service industry is totally beyond me, cause they certainly don't belong in it.
I mean what is so hard to understand about the word "service?"

But I've been where your at and I've let people pressure me right out of my jobs. I hope you don't do that. It is one of my biggest regrets.

The last job I left was because of my co-worker (pisces girl) she was only a couple years older than me, and she was very attractive, so I don't really know what her deal was, but after awhile she just lived to make me miserable.
I think it has to do with fear.
When I came in, sales rose considerably.
People would ask for me when I wasn't there.
I would always think of ways to make things fun, like making a trivia night, or drink specials, stuff like that.
She never had to think or do stuff like that before I came around, and I think she was afraid that she would have to step up her game.
People get complacent and just think of their jobs as, well, a job....and then there are people like us that truly love people and enjoy their job.
I would guess that would be a threat to the other folks.
Anyway, we spent a year in this silent battle of wills.
She decided to go underhand and do crazy things like put all the beer BACK that I stocked and complain to the boss that I didn't stock the coolers. Just ridiculous, weird, extreme stuff.
I suppose I should of toughed it out, but I was having troubles at home and my nerves just couldn't take it.

So in your case, no your not just a number, your a star. That fifth star that your gonna get back. So you just keep doing what your doing, it is its own reward. And ignore the other person, she has no grounds to fire you. She just will have to either step up her games or come to terms with the fact that there will always be someone younger, smarter, prettier in this world, that is life.

Good Luck. It is people like you that other people don't forget. Remember you ARE making a difference. Your probably the girl the vactioners will talk about for years after the vaction is over, and what more can you ask for.

IP: Logged

etherealenlightenment
Knowflake

Posts: 163
From: far away...
Registered: May 2009

posted September 08, 2009 01:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for etherealenlightenment     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks Gypsee Wind and Cpn!!

I appreciate your support. Well, I may be giving myself a little too much credit. I wrote all of this very "in the heat of the moment." Although I do go out of my way to do as much as humanly possible as a hostess for the guests (sometimes stepping a little out of bounds of what a hostess is "supposed" to do and go beyond) I am still just that: a hostess. The waitstaff probably does much more work than I do and there are a few waiters and waitresses that try very hard to please the guests... so in actuality, compared to them... I fall short.

Yes, the guests do remember me, and appreciate that I am the ONLY one that remembers their names, what they're planning to do on their stay, when they're leaving, etc., and they thank me for it... and it could increase our chances of getting that 5th star back... but I think there are probably many people that try just as hard, and have been doing it for years and years...

I'm speculating that the reason that my female boss is reacting the way she is, is because she feels that what I'm "trying" to do is the waiter's or the manager's job. Not mine. She probably feels that a hostess has her place. At the podium. to greet and seat the guests. That's it. She doesn't want me to walk around and check on them and anticipate their needs, offer to take a picture of the group for them, say goodbye and wish them a safe trip, etc. Things like that. She told me that this behavior would eventually start making the waitresses and waiters angry... like I'm holding them up and taking their business while I'm at it...

I'm sorry, I know I'm probably being silly and thinking way too much into this, but I just thought that if I'm going to be stuck at this job, I might as well be the best possible hostess there is. Maybe I'm just trying too hard.

IP: Logged

GypseeWind
Knowflake

Posts: 1396
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted September 10, 2009 06:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message
EE:

Do you want to become a waitress or manager?

I mean is that your plan? To start as hostess and move up and up?

If so then maybe your boss does sense that, and feels she has to keep things in the proper order.

If your happy where your at, I would just keep the great attitude that you have and just maybe watch those little things like you mentioned, taking too much time when the waitress is waiting to cash out and such. But I would not change your demeanor or your work ethic one bit if I were you. I think it will serve you much in this and/or whatever profession you chose.

IP: Logged

cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake

Posts: 1276
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 10, 2009 06:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cpn_edgar_winner     Edit/Delete Message
the fact that you care and try to do a good job, puts you head and shoulders above the rest anyway. i have been in management for many years, and usually i hear, thats not my job, thats not in my job desription, any complaints, usually someone elses fault...doing the bare minimum is the norm.

you will go far with your attitude and work ethic.

i was never so proud of my oldest daughter when she used to work for me and had a complaint and took responsibility, admitted the mistake and vowed it wouldn't happen again...9 out of ten blamed it on someone else and or said it never happened, they are lying on them...that actually was when i knew i did a good job with raising my kids. how she responded to a client complaint.

IP: Logged

Musette
Knowflake

Posts: 22
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted September 10, 2009 09:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Musette     Edit/Delete Message
Have you talked to your coworkers who are the waiters and waitresses? That might be a way to find out your actions are really a potential problem, or if your boss is off-base. Another thing you can do is check your job description. Most places have a job description written out for each position. The more you know about that, the easier it is to navigate the tricky waters between what you want to do and what your boss can reasonably expect from you.

My first job was at a movie theater and I sold tickets and I scooped popcorn and I gave people extra butter for free and I took time to listen to what people thought of the movie they just watched. About four years later, I went to a job interview and the man interviewing me recognized me and hired me. He told me, "I remember you because you always smiled and were so nice to me and my wife and our kids." And even though I wasn't as qualified as the other candidates, I got the job. I tell you that because I couldn't have foreseen that happening. When you are nice to someone and you take their photo or you remember their name, it matters. I didn't know that being nice to that man and his family had mattered so much to him, and it was wonderful to find that out four years later.

I'd love to have an employee who cared as much about others as you do, and who cared about making the company a good place. It might be hard to see now how you are making a difference, but you are. Good luck!

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2008

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a