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Author
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Topic: A Short Lesson in Influencing Other People
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Deux*Antares
Knowflake Posts: 438
From: No Permanent Address
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 08, 2009 11:52 AM
 
As long as you are demonizing a group or individual as
"the adversary," your strategies to influence tend to be
push strategies—control, weapons, or manipulation—
which may initially inspire out of fear or shame but ultimately
inspire resistance. When you speak to people you
have labeled unwilling, unconcerned, or unmotivated, negative
emotions bleed into your words. The implicit goal is to
win—to shame, scare, shock, force, or guilt your adver-
sary into retreat. (A wonderful fantasy—your nemesis on
bended knee begging your forgiveness—however, not
likely to happen in real life.) The negative energy of an adversarial
story risks paranoia, counterattack, and worst of
all, hopelessness. I have seen people with good intentions
fail again and again because they are caught up in a negative
war story and are inadvertently washing everyone
around them in negativity.I saw a powerful example of this in Eastern Europe at
an international conference that featured a retired member
of the United Nations. This man had dedicated his life
to encourage people to take better care of our earth and
stop war. He was a man of positive ideals but when he
tried to influence the group to action he failed miserably.
That morning, a Hungarian speaker who was very funny
started the conference off with laughter and camaraderie.
Our mood was up and energetic, until Mr. Serious began
to speak. Within one hour his statistics of dying babies,
disappearing rain forests, and the proliferation of nuclear
weapons had turned a whirlwind of energy into a mess of
depressed, guilty, fearful, and shamed people. Negative
energy had obliterated any positive energy from the
morning. Yes, he told the "truth," but his story of the "truth" was
demoralizing and demotivating. His desire to use the truth
to motivate us was sabotaged by the negative story he tells
himself. He believes you and I are basically unwilling, unconcerned,
or unmotivated to save the world. And he
makes it true. His negative emotions ignite the same emotions
in those who hear him. He is frustrated, depressed,
and anxious, and his stories make us frustrated, depressed,
and anxious unless we shut him out and ignore him. Action
is not born of frustration, depression, anxiety, or ignorance.
His story did not awaken the good in us. He
awakened the shame. Shame doesn't move mountains.
Hope moves mountains. -- Excerpt from “The Story Factor” by Annette Simmons
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No power in society, no hardship in your condition can depress you, keep you down, in knowledge, power, virtue, influence, but by your own consent. -- William Ellery Channing
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katatonic
Knowflake Posts: 1647
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 08, 2009 11:54 AM
my sentiments precisely...IP: Logged |
Glaucus
Knowflake Posts: 1341
From: Sacramento,California
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 08, 2009 11:56 AM
Yep.------------------
“It is absolutely the perfect name,” Dr. Brown said, given the continuing discord among astronomers and the public over whether Pluto should have retained its planetary status. In mythology, Eris ignited discord that led to the Trojan War. “She causes strife by causing arguments among men, by making them think their opinions are right and everyone else’s is wrong,” Dr. Brown said. “It really is just perfect.” http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/15/science/space/15xena.html?_r=1 IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 1069
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 08, 2009 11:57 AM
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Musette
Knowflake Posts: 27
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 08, 2009 12:50 PM
quote:
His negative emotions ignite the same emotions in those who hear him. He is frustrated, depressed, and anxious, and his stories make us frustrated, depressed, and anxious unless we shut him out and ignore him.
How very true this is. People who are militant and hateful with their beliefs come across as someone trying to create peace by using guns. They just can't create positive change with that approach. There is enough negativity in the world as it is, why would anyone listen to someone who only creates more negativity? IP: Logged |
Valus
Knowflake Posts: 1288
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 08, 2009 01:26 PM
I respectfully disagree.Shame worked for me,
and for my girlfriend;
who I converted to a
non-violent lifestyle. Victory!!  We felt guilty,
and we looked.
We looked,
and we saw. What we saw put us to shame. And that shame inspired us
to live lives we could be proud of. Turns out its not such a negative emotion. But you have to be strong enough
not to run away from it. And humble enough to look at yourself
and not just lash out at the ones who've
tried to show you your error. Most people need to be sweet-talked
and handled with kid-gloves, sure. We didnt. Shame didnt make us curl up and hide,
or lash out at the people shaming us.
It made us take responsibility. I think it works for many people. That may not be the New Age philosophy,
but its the truth which I've seen
work miracles in real life. There is hope.
Even for shame.
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Yin
Knowflake Posts: 562
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 08, 2009 03:56 PM
Reading and learning inspire me. Also people who try to live by their words. quote:
Action is not born of frustration, depression, anxiety, or ignorance.
I agree on the ignorance point. However my actions are often born of frustation and anxiety, very recenlty - of depression. So for me this doesn't ring true. quote:
His story did not awaken the good in us. He awakened the shame. Shame doesn't move mountains. Hope moves mountains.
They both do. LOL. IP: Logged |
wheels of cheese
Knowflake Posts: 616
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 10, 2009 08:39 AM
"who I converted to a non-violent lifestyle"Here's me thinking she probably made her own mind up on the subject, alongside you, being an adult woman and such. I think your language is a real insight into your motivations Valus. IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1276
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 10, 2009 09:06 AM
i pity the fool who tries to convert me to anything.if it isn't my idea, it ain't-a gonna happen. IP: Logged |
katatonic
Knowflake Posts: 1647
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 10, 2009 01:53 PM
world domination starts with one convert...IP: Logged |
MoonWitch
Knowflake Posts: 134
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 10, 2009 09:49 PM
Converted a woman by shaming her?VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!! I agree with the first poster. IP: Logged |
SunChild
Moderator Posts: 414
From: Melbourne. Victoria. Australia
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 13, 2009 02:49 AM
quote:
That may not be the New Age philosophy,
but its the truth which I've seen
work miracles in real life.
Me too.   IP: Logged | |
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