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Author Topic:   The Why's of Men
T
Knowflake

Posts: 1107
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 16, 2009 12:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message
The Why's of Men


1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know......it never happened)

( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

And the personal favorite:

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your
heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt
seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What
setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma '


A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest
woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'



'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of
the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed
the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.


Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
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Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him
to death. AMEN < B>
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
------------ - ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
-
--------- --------- --------- ------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
------
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Send this to a bright, funny woman you know and make her day!
And send this to a bright man who has enough sense of humor to take it!

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starkiss1
Knowflake

Posts: 132
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 16, 2009 12:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starkiss1     Edit/Delete Message
THINGS NOT TO SAY DURING FIRST SEX SESSION TO A GUY:

OOOOh, it's so cute!
Are you cold?
But it still works, right?
That explains the size of your car!
That was the best 5 seconds of my life!
Are we still friends?

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cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake

Posts: 1325
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 16, 2009 12:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cpn_edgar_winner     Edit/Delete Message
too cute...just like this couple!

thank gawd the photographer spared us the frontal...but it is cute....

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cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake

Posts: 1325
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 16, 2009 12:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cpn_edgar_winner     Edit/Delete Message
THINGS NOT TO SAY DURING FIRST SEX SESSION TO A GUY:

a. if i smack your butt will it make your sticker peck out?

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starkiss1
Knowflake

Posts: 132
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 16, 2009 01:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starkiss1     Edit/Delete Message
CPN,here we go again, girl!

"Women make a fuss about nothing and then they marry him..." Zaza Gabor

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GypseeWind
Knowflake

Posts: 1474
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted September 16, 2009 02:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks guys, I'm having "a Limp Bizkit/ break stuff" kinda day and you made me smile.

Grannys butt aint too awful bad, really.

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starkiss1
Knowflake

Posts: 132
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 16, 2009 02:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starkiss1     Edit/Delete Message
Gypsee, hi, darl, how is it going? Limp/Bizkit day, eh? Is that why you are fancying the old granny's butt?

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