posted October 07, 2009 12:41 PM         

"I'm not your servant.."

"You're just like your father..."

etc.

It can't just be me?

My kids get:-

"Stand up straight and look like you mean business."

posted October 07, 2009 01:44 PM         

seriously.

posted October 07, 2009 03:55 PM         

Lord, I hate myself, but I have actually uttered the following on more then one occasion.

* Find something to do, or I will find it for you.

* I have one nerve left and your on it.

* If your too sick to go to school, your too sick to do (fill in the blank, with something unreasonable)

* you are (x) years old, it is high time you start to do (x) for yourself.

* I'm not your personal laundry service.

********************************************

Now a collection that I have NOT passed on, because well, they are stupid, to me.

* Never smoke in the street it makes you look cheap (????)

* Don't wear black clothes, people with think you are "hard", again (?????)

* First impressions are everything, so make sure you dont act like yourself when you first meet with (fill in blank, boss, boyfriends relations, etc.)

* quit crying or I will give you something to cry about.

I think I'll stop, they're just gonna go down hill from here, and send me to bed all angsty.

posted October 07, 2009 04:41 PM         

quote:

---

you are (x) years old, it is high time you start to do (x) for yourself.

---

also:--

"don't talk to me like that..."

but so far have avoided the old girl's favourite:--

"I'm just treated like a skivvy"

posted October 07, 2009 04:41 PM         

it was like a mantra with her.

posted October 07, 2009 04:56 PM         

with my grandson i find myself saying "one thing at a time" or "first things first" quite a lot. and "no one's going to steal your food if you don't eat it in one second"....

from my mother now i mostly remember the good (or encouraging) stuff like

"if you can't see where you're going, just put one foot in front of the other and eventually you'll get somewhere.."

"napoleon said the french language did not contain the word impossible"

"despair is a cardinal sin" (my mother was raised by french nuns in case that's not obvious!) these phrases made me shut off as a kid but now they help keep me going when i need a push in the right direction.

posted October 07, 2009 05:19 PM         

"Ín ten years time you will look back on this moment and laugh about it."

posted October 07, 2009 05:30 PM         

When my oldest was little, I did the same thing only he was blowing bubbles on my knee.

posted October 08, 2009 01:50 AM         

my mum even had long distance x-ray eyes. She would ALWAYS know when I was doing something I should not,like skipping the first lesson in school and instead going shopping.

She would show up. Very often. Actually at one point it fueled my ambition to do something she would NOT register. Like doing sports.

posted October 08, 2009 06:48 AM         

I actually perpetuated this myth by using my rear veiw mirror in the car, and at home with sheer luck.

But you made me remember my oldest daughter warning her little brother not to do something in the car because, "Mom can see you with her back eyes!"

Him being a curious little double Scorp would take his little hands and feel all around my head, looking for my "back eyes."

I got tired of having my hair messed up, so I told him my back eyes were sleeping and they only woke up if he was being a bad boy. This was not a good idea.
One day he was in his room and suddenly there came a huge crashing sound, followed by an eerie silence.

"MOM?" he said. "Did your back eyes wake up when I did that?"

posted October 08, 2009 09:08 AM         

Let's see if I can open the door to some of her more brilliant moments, lol.

1. If you don't change your expression before the wind changes, you face will stay that way. (WTF?)

2. If you ask a crooked question, you get a crooked answer.

3. You're not doing it right, just give it to me. (Just in case you haven't guessed by that last one..... She's a Virgo)

EDIT** I confess that I haven't said these things to my boy. Those were the ones I am determined never to say.

What I have said to my own disgust is....

posted October 08, 2009 09:58 AM         

Here are two that comes to mind (the flavor is stronger when not translated to English):

"Keep looking. Use your eyes and not your mouth". <--- Her response to "I can't find it! Where is it?"

"You came out of my ass. I can put you back in there if I want to." <--- Her response to anything we did that might have shown disrespect to her. It's like saying "You have no right to do this to me, you're just my sh1t!" But all in all I heard her say this only maybe 2x or 3x. Crazy because I knew exactly where I had come from. I think we have an aversion to saying the word vag1na in our native language.

posted October 08, 2009 03:44 PM         

quote:

---

You came out of my ass. I can put you back in there if I want to." <--- Her response to anything we did that might have shown disrespect to her. It's like saying "You have no right to do this to me, you're just my sh1t!" But all in all I heard her say this only maybe 2x or 3x. Crazy because I knew exactly where I had come from. I think we have an aversion to saying the word vag1na in our native language...Deux*Antares

---

posted October 08, 2009 08:59 PM         

but when she was young i had an uncanny knack for showing up just as she was about to create some havoc or get herself into serious trouble...she was convinced for years that i showed up because i KNEW, and it's true we've always had a strong psychic connection, but i was never conscious that i was about to break up a "problem in the making"...

posted October 09, 2009 12:37 AM         

She used to tell me: "Eat your soup or I'm going to get sick and die!" I was like "are you serious???" And then she would sometimes even feign chest pains so that I would eat faster!! For the longest time I believed her and would start crying, begging her not to die!!