Posts: 1095
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 05, 2009 07:21 AM         

---

Tactical withdrawl.

Back away slowly, trying not to get angry or give any reaction at all as this will hinder your tactics.

Then ignore.

IP: Logged

Posts: 2755
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 05, 2009 08:14 AM         

---

Edited irrelevant comment based on my momentary lapse which overextended itself well into the next day.

IP: Logged

Posts: 895
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 05, 2009 08:26 AM         

---

PA i presume bm talks about my comment in astro2 about getting rid of a scorpio. (i'll edit this comment if u wanted and edited yours; no worries)

bm, i stopped answering phone calls from this person; i feel bad though; and i FEAR our next encounter.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1095
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 05, 2009 08:39 AM         

---

Say hello politely, stay a body's length away and avoid eye contact.

Yes, it was what I meant.

Violently rude won't work.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1095
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 05, 2009 08:43 AM         

---

Peace, you are a nice person. Me, not so much so. I feel no obligation to converse with people who I feel have nothing to say, neither will I spend much time engaging in pointless conversation with people who just want me to say what they want to hear. Sorry, not a fruitful use of my time online or off.

IP: Logged

Posts: 895
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 05, 2009 08:44 AM         

---

and what about not giving ANY news, not anwsering the phone, if he were to come around to my house, find an excuse like i was going to see the doctor, is this rude? as long as i stay polite? he's gonna ask why i didn't pick up the phone; i've got no idea how to handle that one.

IP: Logged

Posts: 802
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 05, 2009 08:49 AM         

---

pire, are you afraid that he will harm you in some way if you ask him to leave you alone?

IP: Logged

Posts: 895
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 05, 2009 09:02 AM         

---

not physically, i'm much bigger.

if i hurt him, i'm going to feel hurt too. i know it, i've got some deep feelings for him, but time has come... it's sort of a breaking up (at least on my side)

IP: Logged

Posts: 1095
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 05, 2009 09:17 AM         

---

If he asks you directly, you get chance to say calmly how you feel, but, if he was able to hear that then you wouldn't have this problem and neither of you would be resorting to these type of tactics.

You don't have to say why you chose not to reply if he doesn't ask you directly. Don't enter into the dialogue if it is going to get you nowhere, it is just prolonging the agony.

Good luck

This I think is the most pain free approach

I know you are Moon in Libra now I think you must be Moon/Pluto also, is this the case?

IP: Logged

Posts: 802
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 05, 2009 09:27 AM         

---

I am a firm believer in getting/giving closure.
Have you talked about breaking up already? I hate it when people just start ignoring and avoiding. Yes, letting go is hard but ignoring is just plain hurtful to the other party.
Again, I don't know the whole story. I may be way off.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1902
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 05, 2009 09:30 AM         

---

I agree with BM. I think cutting the communication is a "good" way to initiate a breakup.

But if he should ask you directly, I think, you could give a direct answer (to be direct is not the same as being rude). You could explain him once your reasons for your decision. But I really would only explain it only once, that gives him the chance to understand it, or not. But that is nothing you can really influence.
Neither can you prevent that he might feel hurt, I guess. If you are important to him, he of course will feel hurt.
But I think in the long run you would hurt him more, if you pretended to still like him, even if you don`t.

Just my two cents. Of course people handle these things different.
I just think that it is easier to live with a short moment of painful truth than with an extended period of lies and unspoken things; at least that gives both people the opportunity to somehow deal with it.

IP: Logged

Posts: 895
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 05, 2009 09:54 AM         

---

bm, yes, my moon conjuncts pluto

IP: Logged

Posts: 1095
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 05, 2009 09:57 AM         

---

easy guess, my brother

IP: Logged

Posts: 2755
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 06, 2009 12:29 AM         

---

Oops! Sorry bm & pire, my misunderstanding. This seems to have followed me all day today. I blame Spanky and her momentary lapse from yesterday for repeating on me.

pire - An ex used to follow me, knock on the door, call me, etc. The last contact involved him saying he was going to kill himself if I didn't marry him, etc. I said, "I really don't care". Closed the door. That's what needed to be done to this person to get the message across. Sorry that you're experiencing this. It's really awful. You don't want to hurt his feelings and yet he has no consideration for yours. The person for you to look after on this one is yourself.

IP: Logged