posted December 21, 2009 06:35 PM         

Lara. My favourite nutty lass, I got you a diary.

Best person greeter on la land, I got you...whatever you got Me. Enjoy!

If I dont get round everyone, I'll make sure a meerkat gets sent in time

posted December 21, 2009 10:58 PM         

Does it hurt to be so psychic? Really, does your forehead pulsate?

I love the way you look at people. (I don't mean just in this thread.)

I'd like to get you a mirror.

When you look at it, you see back how I see you. So if you ever have a bad day or moment or memory, you can look at that and have your socks knocked off by the captivating beauty before you.

I'd also get you this because it's deeply disturbing.

It's a Heart Bot.

quote:

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The scary, yet sad, looking robot above and below is called the Heart Bot. If you hug it, it will relax and hug you back and its pulse changes. If you grab it and shake, or yell, Heart Bot gets scared and sad.

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Here it is striking a sexy pose.

posted December 21, 2009 11:09 PM         

Thank you for the gifts! I got way too excited when I saw the trip to France, as if I were the winning contestant on The Price Is Right.

Now it's your turn to squeal with delight. Behold your stockings stuffed with toothbrushes!

And for the both of us, I give us the gift of together time. We can blind each other with our sparkly enamel. Penelope's there to chaperone, since you know how quickly good dental hygiene drives us wild.

posted December 21, 2009 11:17 PM         

For you.

And then for reals...

posted December 21, 2009 11:23 PM         

For you.
(This was a free gift along with my Bill Hicks purchase for Dervish. Funny how that worked out!)

Please don't feel awkward that I went all out with the next gift. No price is too high for you, my delicious dairy darlin'. I splurged and got you...the Neck Pumper 2000!

quote:

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Guaranteed to bulk up even the scrawniest of necks. Now in jewel-encrusted!

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posted December 22, 2009 07:23 PM         

quote:

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Lara. My favourite nutty lass, I got you a diary.

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posted December 23, 2009 01:21 PM         

Many mornings, you're the first thing down my throat. So I wanted to get something to nourish you too.

It's a bacon alarm clock. You can awake to the fragrance and taste of bacon. Now that's luxury!

posted December 23, 2009 01:25 PM         

I give you...

surrealism!

posted December 23, 2009 02:11 PM         

the only two prezzies i had a visceral reaction to were mine, and i hadn't even read the tags yet.

cripes PA weird al looks JUST like one of my best friends in that photo. my daughter who turned four today went through the list of same features and announced: 'even his hands!'. he just moved away so you brought not only a little class to this joint, but some achingly familiar warmth.

here's what i *wanted* to get you..

(but it wasn't in the budget).

instead:

posted December 23, 2009 02:24 PM         

quote:

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Coffee -

Many mornings, you're the first thing down my throat.

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posted December 23, 2009 02:39 PM         

ever since psh pushed me down the rabbit hole toward an inescapably fractured and fractalled sense of identity, i have to admit i've spent much of my time straddling the line between a sense of myself as i've known it, and an adherance to the commands of a voice echoing of the walls of my consciousness. sometimes this voice drifts away and sometimes it lulls and soothes me and i know this voice to be yours. even now you can see i'm making a distinction between your consciousness and mine, so i know i have a ways to go.

that said i've been sitting here on this bench all day, with furrowed brow, brushing up on facts vs. fallacies, trying to figure out the best christmas present for you. should i complete the transition and integrate you fully? can we/i handle that? that would be the best gift of all. or the worst.

i need your input. obviously. something this profound and transformational can't be undone. or regifted.

posted December 24, 2009 02:01 PM         

A journal for you to write down all your astrological insights. Once full, you will be giving this journal to me to treasure. What, this is really a gift to myself? Stifle you and get scribing!

posted December 24, 2009 02:03 PM         

A sketchpad...

...and someplace warm to use it.

posted December 24, 2009 02:08 PM         

Seats together on a bus.

This is no ordinary bus. Its last stop is Fiji. Bring your flippers.

posted December 24, 2009 02:11 PM         

Dinner! I thought the ambiance and opportunity for good convo would appeal to Libra Mel. I thought the chance to eat would appeal to Taurus Node. I will be doubling as dinner companion and server that night. I like to play waitress role-playing games, normal, yes? (Node - this place has the best assortment of hippo cheese. )

posted December 24, 2009 02:13 PM         

Since you live in soggy England, I thought this would be convenient - a hands-free umbrella. Sure, you'll look like a walking condom, but your hands will be free to dive in if you should ever cross paths with Christian or Sean. Or a pint.