posted April 28, 2010 02:36 AM         

I'm awake because both times I went to sleep tonight, I woke myself with horrible nightmares. Won't go into the second one, it's too disjointed, but here is the first one...

I'm at a restaurant or club with my highschool boyfriend, Dwayne.

We are kind of intimately talking, in one anothers faces, and he reaches up, and slits my throat twice.
I don't recall much blood coming out.
Anyway, a few seconds later, my mom, who was apparently dining at the same place, comes over to speak to me, but I can't speak, as I had my hand on my throat.

*The wowser moment was this..
I did have a boyfriend when I was 15, and he was 25, named Dwayne, A LIBRA! Which is important only because I've been on here for a year saying how I've NEVER dated a Libra..
Anyway, one night a group of us were out, and some sort of fight broke out over drug monies owed to Dwayne, by a guy named Dave.
Dave tried to wiggle out of it, and Dwayne took a knife out of his pocket and slit his throat. It was not deep, he did not die.

Anyway, we took off in fear of the police, and I ended up running away and staying with him for a week at another house, because he thought the police would be looking for him in our home town, and he didn't want to take me there, and well, at 15, once you stay out all night, might as well stay gone (I was thinking) because the punishment is probably going to be the same. I was 15, my reasoning skills were not too hot.

Anyway, my girlfriend snitched and a week later my Mom found me.

What is weird is that I haven't thought of Dwayne or anything. His sister friend requested me on FB way back in the summer, and I accepted, and I did look in her album, and there he was, looking EXACTLY the same as I remembered, but that was the extent of it. I never looked HIM up, or thought of it again.

Why in the world did that repressed memory come out now, I can only wonder.
And what the hell else is lurking, I can only FEAR??

Anyone ever have a similiar experience they would care to share??

posted April 28, 2010 01:21 PM         

Tink; write about it...hmmm, I hadn't thought of that, maybe I will, or draw it even.
Argg, thing is, now that I look back, seems like alot of the guys I've like were versions of Dwayne...Tall, dark, handsome, and dangerous, perhaps someone is trying to tell me to break out of that mold, but, Lord, how do you change what you find attractive? Seems impossible doesn't it?
*If you are good with dreams, please consider helping me in the Astral Realms forum, I think my partner left, and I am over my head!!

Mermaid;
I find what you say, especially about our generation, particularily interesting. Having had 18 surgeries myself.
I also have had 3 spontaneous past life memories in one night of my husband being responsible for my death, and I was either hung, or beheaded. Either way, it's trauma to the throat.
Everytime I get sick, I lose my voice.
Maybe I've never found it?
Maybe it's as simple as that.
I ended the friendship with my friend, and I used my voice (well words, it was email) and boy did I use them! Merc in Scorp does not mess around when highly pi$$ed off, and I had been HOLDING that in for THREE years!!

Honestly though, I am starting to scare myself because I have been saying things that I've always wanted to say, to certain people, and it's harder and harder to keep them in. I dunno...rambling now...need coffee after that night of sleep!

posted April 28, 2010 10:32 PM         

I have been doing alot of that lately.
I was thinking it was because alot of majorly significant people in my life were either born or died in the month of April, but maybe it's more than that...

But, it's just as you say.. I'll think of something, cry for like two minutes, and poof, it's gone, and it's like it never happened, I don't feel a lingering with it.

posted April 29, 2010 08:53 AM         

April is always extra strange for me, perhaps my 8 destiny. The doubling up of 4's etc., April & August supposedly intensify the experiences. The most intense day in my life has been 4/4, on a few occasions now. I now approach it well prepared, like a good girl scout, as positively as I can.

Take good care of yourself.