posted May 17, 2010 05:54 AM         

No money is preventing you from moving away?

Hopelessness is not a good space to be in. I know you can't move away right now, but LLT, in order to maintain some level of healthiniess, please find something to hope in.

There is actual research that shows that the brain triggers in a positive response when there is 'hope' about something.

Of course, we all know that, but the evidence is now becoming concrete.

The fact seems that you can't move and things are horrible. But the thing that no-one can take away from you is a sense of hope. You must create this to get through this trying time.

Let's hope that focussing of something hopeful will lead to step 2 which will be a better situation for you.

posted May 17, 2010 07:11 AM         

So, the issue is with your mother. Do you live with her LLT? How old are you?

It's difficult having mother issues. I didn't realise I had real issues with my mother until I hit 40. I've been reeling ever since (I'm almost 45). It's hard to suddenly connect the dots and realise that your inner insecurities are directly related to the abuse or neglect of a parent.

Venting is good! I hope you're feeling better just by starting this thread. A little counselling wouldn't go amiss.

To be honest, I see a touch of this in my partner - lol - did I attract a 'mother figure' into my life? I have now way of knowing how I managed to do this!!!

Life is complex, but the good thing is that you recognise what the issue is. So you're one step ahead.

posted May 17, 2010 08:03 AM         

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quote:

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"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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posted May 17, 2010 09:22 AM         

I'll be thinking of you LTT.

posted May 17, 2010 11:08 AM         

I pray that you remain hopeful, strong, and steadfast against this struggle.

The good news is that you have identified the abuse. The good news is that you are seeking understanding. The good news is that you are seeking a solution. The good news is that are seeking comfort and assistance by venting here.

Relationships are indeed complex. Do we attract what we project? What are we projecting? Armed with the truth of our self knowledge, we can improve what we attract in direct correlation to our self-improvement.
When we know better, we do better. This is our reality and our Hope. Looking backwards should teach us how to move forward more constructively. Clearly defined boundaries on how we would like to be treated will release us from the bondage of attracting co-dependent partners. Our clearly stated boundaries and truths help us assert ourselves against our parents' abuses as well.

No one can take your POWER away without your permission. You can't change your mother, but you CAN CHANGE YOU through the truth of your SELF-PERCEPTIONS! May you achieve your independence and stand tall as the hero of your life's story. Trust that the Universe will assist you in achieving your goals.

posted May 18, 2010 08:37 AM         

Its great you are trying to understand it and work with it somehow.

posted May 19, 2010 07:21 AM         

I was speaking to a psychologist about the Narsisstic Mother yesterday. We had a great discussion. Yes, they don't change. Yes, it hurts. Yes, you will feel lonely.... But it's a great achievement once someone can talk about it unemotionally and put it in a box somewhere with some acceptance....

I hope you reach that point LLT.