posted June 01, 2010 03:18 PM         

The past few days I have been feeling so sad, depressed and very rejected. Maybe it's an Aries thing about the fear of rejection....usually when this happens I feel deeply flawed and at fault - though I have not done anything. I work on viewing drifting apart in an objective manner and not so very personally.

Over the weekend, we went away to a function with my boyfriend's work and decided to stop by and visit an old neighbor in a nearby city. The visit turned out to be a huge disaster.

We got there and there was no parking, so my friend offered to escort my boyfriend to a nearby parking lot to park and she sent me into the apartment building with the baby. I arrrived at her apartment door and knocked. Her two daughters did not let me in. Instead they peeked through a peep hole and then laughed their heads off. The only time they opened the door is when my friend called home to see where my boyfriend took off to. (He doesn't know the apartment number or this lady's phone number - there was no clue as to where he was to go and that had me concerned)

I went out to the parking lot with the baby and looked around - nobody was around. So I waked down the street seeing if they are passing by in their cars and nothing. 10 minutes go by and I get a call on my cell phone from this lady all angry and demanding where I went. I told her what happened and she was too upset to talk and put my boyfriend on the phone. Before she left she said her kids did nothing wrong and they are kids they can do whatever they want. He then came out walking down the street to me me about ready to tear into me.)

The reception by this lady was cold and we stayed around an hour. She visited more with her daughters. Before the lady drove my boyfriend to get the car I made an agreement with him to meet in front of the building for easy loading and that we did. The lady became very upset to find that I was not in her apartment when she got back - maybe she didn't hear what we had planned. She came out to say GOODBYE and her hug was empty. A few minutes later I get a call saying I left my fruit juice and yogurt there and I told her she can keep it, then she aburptly slammed the phone down in my ear.

I was talking to my boyfriend about this and he strongly disagreed with the choice about checking to see where people went - as I said he had no knowledge of where to go etc.... The ladies daughters said that I got angry and stormed off and that was not true. I went to check to see if my boyfriend was in the lot etc. There was no interaction with the girls and though If they want to be that way then fine.so I sat on the floor waiting for this lady to show...

End of story.....there was a post in the Astrology 2.0 forum about Ann O's May 24th blog for the week and I found what she said for Sunday to be very fitting - Venus loss of a beloved one and finally seeing that a relationship has ended.....makes sense and fits.

Oh the weekend before we were supposed to go visit this lady over the weekend and we were planning this trip for a few weeks now. Just when we were about to go up, she cancelled at the last minute. My 7 year old was all excited but very sad about not going and I felt cheesed because it was a broken promise for her......

When people move away I'm finding things really change...the ones who were there for me through my good times and bad have gone....

I don't know why things are drifting apart here for me.....

Thanx for listening.....just post if you have kind words to say - anything negative and judgmental would not be appropriate and it causes many hostilities....when we judge we cheat our hearts and ourselves.....there is a gift beyond judgement.

posted June 01, 2010 03:36 PM         

you have been through a lot this year.

at least you have your precious baby home and no one or nothing can take that feeling away when you look into her eyes and feel that love.

not much else matters in light of that.