posted July 01, 2010 06:23 AM         

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)

posted July 02, 2010 09:33 AM         

lol

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quote:

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"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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posted July 03, 2010 06:12 AM         

A collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ...

1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:

Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:

From an employee who was performing the "Mundan" (Ritual Hair Cut) ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC National Computer Labs. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:

"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Aeronautics Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."

13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'......As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

posted July 03, 2010 07:34 AM         

quote:

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"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

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posted July 03, 2010 10:29 AM         

Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.