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Author Topic:   Opinions on others and insults
T
Knowflake

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posted July 22, 2010 05:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message
are we getting them confused?

Just because someone doesnt hold as high of an opinion of another that you might hold and says something about it - does that mean the person is insulting them or trying to be mean to them? It seems some here take it that way.

I'm noticing alot of our own thoughts and conclusions we have made about people here, are heavily influenced on how we interpret their words and meanings. Like if you have your mind made up about someone, that they are negative, mean or unhappy in their life, even though that may not be the case, then you read all the things they write in a negative manner and tone which really wasnt there to begin with.

Some people here dont take things so personally and so dont mean for things to be taken in such an extreme way when they say them and theyve got a better handle on their emotions, I think. So the ones who dont are always turning things into things much greater than they ever needed to be. It's like they are wailing over....really, nothing.

I tend not to care what people's opinions are about me, because I am confident in who I am. Many here seem to get extremely wounded and hyper-emotional by things that they blow out of proportion because they allow their lower emotions to rule their life and not their Heart.

There's a lot of sadness and woundeness in places there really neednt be. The reactions seem to often be overly dramatic and showy. It sort of boggles my mind.

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T
Knowflake

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posted July 22, 2010 05:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message
this is bringing to mind Tolles book A New Earth and what he says about the "pain body".

People really get sucked into it and do see how badly allowing their emotions to rule their life destroys them.

I've never jived with the "poor mes".

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teasel
Knowflake

Posts: 1335
From: Ohio
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posted July 22, 2010 05:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message
I hardly ever take things personally here - or at other places on the internet. Only on bad days, when I'm feeling extra sensitive (and on those days, I usually avoid anything that might bother me).

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T
Knowflake

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posted July 22, 2010 05:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message
Same here.

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T
Knowflake

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posted July 22, 2010 05:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message
And what about apologies? Ive never been able to get hung up on those either. Like, i don't require or NEED them. Weird.

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SunChild
Moderator

Posts: 975
From: Melbourne. Victoria. Australia
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 22, 2010 05:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunChild     Edit/Delete Message
Me either... it's not worth investing emotionally in someone and then having to be shaken later on, especially on forums.. you can't really know someone fully, and there's no Astral Connection. I speak to so many people every week, lovely souls, awesome disucssions on FB but always keeping it as equanimitous as possible. I realies equanimitious is not a word. I just invented it.
lol

But if people react emotionally that is cool too. If they are feeling sensitive then that is their right ... they are no less than those who can remain unnaffected. (and I'm not implying anyone thinks they are)
Some less seasoned forum goers might find it more difficult especially.

I know in the early days of visiting forums it was much more emotional, these days? I get a lot of uplifting emotion from thoughtful people. Negativity can not penetrate however.

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T
Knowflake

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posted July 22, 2010 05:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
I get a lot of uplifting emotion from thoughtful people. Negativity can not penetrate however.

Same here.

I'm noticing i have a better handle on some emotions more than others. Some seem very foriegn to me while others creep up pretty easily but i'm learning to handle them better too. The ones that i dont relate easily to, i think i have done alot of work on in the very distant past because they feel like a non issue. And when i observe them in others i have a hard time understanding their odd (to me) reactions.

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SunChild
Moderator

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From: Melbourne. Victoria. Australia
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posted July 22, 2010 05:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunChild     Edit/Delete Message
Any way take care all.. I'm off to see the wizard who is marrying me to my Knight in the Kings castle.. we are bring a few pixies with us and I'm about to go get some flowers in my hair.

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SunChild
Moderator

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From: Melbourne. Victoria. Australia
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posted July 22, 2010 05:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunChild     Edit/Delete Message
I like your confidence T, and thanks for responding and talking with me even if we agree on nothing right now (referring to other threads)... I can see the humor in it, nothing personal... Just want to extend a positive vibe to you. ~~~~~~ and want to show my respect and appreciation toward you, is all. Hope you feel that.

ETA just read your reply in the other thread... thank you for clarifying what you meant.... too much gets lost in words. Well I agree with what you said there so that is something ~ !

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T
Knowflake

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posted July 22, 2010 05:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message
How exciting! Take lots of pictures!

Thanks for the positive vibes! Now go have yourself one of the best times of your life!

Woo hoo!

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teasel
Knowflake

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From: Ohio
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posted July 23, 2010 09:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message
I hardly ever expect or want apologies. Funny you should bring that up, though - the only way I'll talk to one person, right now, is if they apologize to me (nobody here). It wouldn't make everything okay, but it would make things a little better. I'll probably never hear from them again, because it would almost kill them to utter the words "I'm sorry".

I try to be aware of the effect my words and actions have on others, though. That's what you were getting into in another thread, though, with Yin.

I've been feeling like this lately:
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
George Bernard Shaw

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AcousticGod
Knowflake

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From: acousticgod@sbcglobal.net
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posted July 23, 2010 10:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message
That quote is SO true! So many people don't know how to communicate with any precision.

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katatonic
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posted July 23, 2010 10:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message
it is frequently not even opinions on others that cause the problem, but just plain plain-speaking about an idea can be seen by some as a personal attack. where's the stretching in that? the growth and communication?

i grew up in a family and time and environment where speaking your mind was not considered an invasion of other people's boundaries. while i have learned a lot of patience over the years, and how to let go of my own kneejerk reactions, i still have a hard time talking with people who consider everything but a "how wonderful!! thanks for sharing" an assault.

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eskimono
Knowflake

Posts: 523
From: uk
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posted July 23, 2010 12:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for eskimono     Edit/Delete Message
What a brilliant quote Teasel. I feel like that a lot in work.

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WinkAway
Moderator

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From: here, there & everywhere
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posted July 23, 2010 12:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for WinkAway     Edit/Delete Message
kat, I was raised the same way. And have found thru the years that I get mis understood if I say what's on my mind and end up leaving someone feeling insulted when that wasn't my intention at all.
It's just too frustrating to deal with the drama, so I choose to keep most things to myself...most things. To most people. Unless something or someone pushes my buttons. That's why you'll find I hardly stir the sh1t.

I wouldn't hurt a fly...on purpose. A friend of mine takes things I say and twists them around until they are only remnants of what really happened or what I really meant.

Anyway....HAPPY FRIDAY!!

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eskimono
Knowflake

Posts: 523
From: uk
Registered: Dec 2009

posted July 23, 2010 12:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for eskimono     Edit/Delete Message
Yay - Happy Friday - the kids have finished school for thre summer here, and I am off for 2 weeks. Yipppppppeeeeeeee.

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Lara
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posted July 23, 2010 06:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message
Awesome quote!

I agree T. There should be a fine and possible imprisonment for 'serial pigeon-holing' offences and narrow-minded behaviour
Thank you for this thread, it's so apt and true.

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