posted October 11, 2010 09:28 PM         

The reason I am posting this, is because I have been here for ~10 years, and there have been many topics on suicide, and many topics and claims by knowflakes who are depressed.

I have very recently experienced the 3rd suicide in my immediate community, and I want everyone who is depressed, and has ever contemplated suicide, to know, that you really have no idea how you affect an entire community, as well as your family, relatives, friends, & co-workers.

Yes, the entire community is affected! People who don't even know you, are affected. People who don't even know you, feel bad for your family. People who don't even know you, possibly frequent the place where you took your life. People who don't even know you, have a feeling of sadness in their hearts and their souls, for your friends and family. People who don't even know you have to live with it too.

No one ever said that life was going to be an easy walk in the park. Children are brought up under an illusion of colorful fairy tales with fluffy clouds and happy faces.....Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.........then as they get older, the trials and tribulations of LIFE set in..........and teens and adults get overwhelmed by the pressures of society.......technology is racing towards everyone at lightening speed. It's hard to process everything while dealing with your own problems..........

But most of us believe, that we chose the circumstances of our lives, for learning. If you fall down, you have to get up again. We've all experienced terribly difficult things.......perspective is everything. Yes, there are terrible things going on in the world.....maybe we chose to incarnate at this particular time to help the world? Maybe we chose to incarnate not for ourselves, but to be of service to someone else, an individual or a group of people? Maybe we chose to incarnate to teach others how to be, or how not to be? Keep your hearts open and your heads high......

Everyone, and everything, on earth is evolving, both physically, and spiritually. How can you evolve spiritually, if life is just a piece of cake? What would be the point of anyone's existance? How could you appreciate happiness and joy, if you never understood pain and suffering?

There is more I'd like to say, but will leave it at that for now........

Love and Help Each Other

posted October 11, 2010 10:09 PM         

So if we can learn Forgiveness ~ forgiveness doesn't mean you have to agree with each other, it doesn't mean you have to hang out with the other person......it doesn't mean you have to hold on to them. We can forgive people and respect them enough to let them continue on their own chosen life path. We all have different paths which we are taking to reach the Top of the Mountain. We all chose different routes. Perhaps we are in a difficult relationship merely out of sacrifice to help the other person learn. Perhaps we chose to suffer pain for them, so they can learn through us!

And don't be jealous of people who seem to have it better than you, or seem to have more things than you..........you don't know what is in another person's mind, or in their heart, or how hard they have worked for what they have. Perhaps in a past life, they had it very difficult, and chose an easier pathway in this life.

You don't have to believe in reincarnation, you just have to accept my message that we are all different, and everyone has difficult things in their life, and if you just do the best you can, with the tools you currently have, you are really doing great!!!

Someone who is successful, could have failed numerous times..........but perhaps, this person got up over, and over again, after having fallen...........and strived hard to achieve what he has.

The only limitations we have, are those we place upon ourselves.

posted October 11, 2010 10:27 PM         

You will always feel better the next day ~

You are always much, much stronger, than you think you are ~

posted October 12, 2010 03:52 AM         

Youre talking about how the family members and friends feel, which yes, is an important matter of its own and can be very hard for these people. But think for a moment about the person who has commited the act of taking their own life. I think they are in a lot more pain than these people could ever know, to do such a thing to themselves. We should pray for their souls, not ours. Not think so much about ourselves but about them.

Maybe it's not as simple as them thinking they have a "bad life" and having a fit or a stink about it or are jealous of others. Maybe it goes deeper than that and has to do with genetics and brain chemical imbalances and the like. Perhaps it all goes much deeper and it isn't quite as easy as just taking on a new perspective and wishing it all away. Perhaps some of these people truly had horribly abusive lives growing up. You dont know people's stories and what brings them to certain points. It's not your place to judge or say what they should do.

This subject hits very close to home for me and I find what most people have to say about it extremely irritating and self-centered.

Imagine taking your own life....the extreme low point you have to be in to do so. It's pretty major. So when all I hear about are people talking about themselves and how sad they feel after the person is gone and how they just "gave up" and look what they've done to these poor people they've "left behind" - family and friends, well, i think it's pretty selfish and juvinile.

posted October 12, 2010 04:27 AM         

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quote:

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"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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posted October 12, 2010 04:34 AM         

quote:

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We all have different paths which we are taking to reach the Top of the Mountain. We all chose different routes. Perhaps we are in a difficult relationship merely out of sacrifice to help the other person learn.

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Yes, exactly. Different paths indeed. Why couldnt it possibly be that the person who committed suicide wasnt destined to do so for others to learn from it too? Hm? Just like the baby who dies shortly after it's birth or the person who comes in and has physical disabilites or whatever. If they are here for others to learn and grow from, why not the suicide?

quote:

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We've all experienced terribly difficult things.......perspective is everything.

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Really? All of us? There are people in parts of the world where they witness their entire families getting blown up by bombs or many other horrible things. Watch them starve to death. Tell me, how would you deal with that? Just a simple change in perspective would do? Simply and easily move on and not sulk about it? Pick yourself up by your bootstraps and get over it? Things arent always so easy Nephthys.

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posted October 12, 2010 07:24 AM         

Suicide is contemplated when a person is in extreme emotional pain (in my case it was physical pain as well). When you feel absolutely helpless and can’t see yourself overcoming an obstacle especially when you have been struggling with something for a long time.

My mind felt like it was in a rut and that got deeper and deeper. The feeling didn’t go away; I would still feel the same way the next day, realizing that I had to deal with the current situation I was in.I was so wrapped up in my own pain, the thought of how it would affect others did not occur to me at all.

I was fortunate enough to have a good support system that didn’t judge me and accuse me of seeking attention. Sadly that is what some people see suicide as – a cry for attention (as in a threat but will not be acted out or manipulation) but it was much more that. It took months for me to overcome and with counseling, love and support as well as motivation from within myself I did overcome.

It doesn’t mean I was less of a person or just a lack of will. It’s something that can’t be explained unless experienced.

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quote:

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"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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posted October 12, 2010 11:17 AM         

I wasn't born yesterday, and I do know of all the terrible things going on in the world. I have experienced a lot of hardships in life too, but just because I don't advertise those details here at LL doesn't mean I am not understanding or uncompassionate about how a suicidal person feels.

I wrote this post trying to help, not looking for personal attack, criticism or arguement.

I am sorry that it offended you and I wish you only the best.

posted October 12, 2010 11:59 AM         

it's impossible to not see
both sides... and it's vital to
realize that
not one of us has all the answers...
i agree with what everyone here wrote - nepthys, i have read enough of your posts to understand what a giving, sensitive heart you have...possibly, sometimes, to
your own detriment

those who daily "walk" that fine line between choosing life or choosing
death have a burden that most
people simply could not fathom...
this is the stage of contemplation
and, as my abnormal psych prof said,
is the classic cry for help...
the moment a choice has been made
it's generally too late and
all the signs of asking for help disappear...
which is why it seems to come
out of nowhere

i think that the best any one
of us can do is help as much
as we can prior to... and if it
wasn't enough to change the outcome,
to do our best to understand with
compassion

posted October 12, 2010 12:36 PM         

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We justify ourselves each time we take a breath...

posted October 12, 2010 12:59 PM         

quote:

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Just a simple change in perspective would do? Simply and easily move on and not sulk about it? Pick yourself up by your bootstraps and get over it?

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PS.Nephthys
I do understand your viewpoint too and am not offended.
Both point of views are valid.

PPS.
Often too, one really does not want to die, but just "go to sleep" or "go away" until the nightmare of their lives stops being a nightmare.
I do not want to die but want things to get better and my quality of life to improve.
But will it? And when? And will it last a reasonable time or be snatched away soon after as usual?

posted October 12, 2010 02:07 PM         

Just b/c I didn't write a novel about all my feelings and thoughts on suicide doesn't mean I don't have any empathy for the suicidal victim.

If you re-read the beginning of my post you will see that I am speaking out on the community that is affected............

I find it sad that I make a post about trying to help, and I am told not to judge whether someone should commit suicide or not.........but then I am judged, told I am being narrow-minded, unrealistic and Polly-ana-ish?

How more close to home, do you want me to be to a suicide, than my next door neighbor? And another neighbor 6 houses down, the incident occurring at my local park that I go to every day that is 1 block away? Is that close enough for you to think I don't undersstand, T?

posted October 12, 2010 02:55 PM         

So for everyone who thinks I do not understand, this is now the 4th in my immediate community. Is this enough for you to think that I don't understand?

I have no more business to conduct here at LL. I'm tired of the judgers and the arguers.

Peace Out ~

Take care everyone ~

posted October 12, 2010 04:26 PM         

I'm sorry you are hurting. I dont take offence to what you said, just feel strongly about the matter myself in a different way as I too have been intimate with suicide.

Can we not have different thoughts and just go about our way? I dont see a reason for you to leave over this?

posted October 12, 2010 05:03 PM         

quote:

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I dont want to sound like a b!tch but please dont be so narrowminded, unrealistic and Pollyanna-ish about this very serious issue.

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This is not a personal attack?

It's not healthy for me to be in a place where people can't share opinions and experiences without getting judged and personally attacked by others.

Good Luck ~

posted October 12, 2010 09:24 PM         

No, that wasnt an attack. I dont know how you see it as such either.

posted October 18, 2010 03:06 PM         

by Tim Buckley
http://www.astrotheme.com/portraits/65j8p463B732.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMTEtDBHGY4

cover by John Frusciante
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFmd6OEnUSk

posted October 18, 2010 05:36 PM         

my libra moon helps me see what's going on here but for respect for the 2 offended, I won't share my impressions.

however, to talk about a personal experience of suicidal thoughts, I must say I'm over it now, but it took 4 years to come to that place, basically when I joined lindaland I was at my lowest.I haven't advertised it either. but I could have. my reasons are personal and I won't share it with strangers on the net. in a nutshell though, I think I would have prefered to escape than be rejected until I understood it is everyone's right to reject me and my duty to accept it. I shared my attempt to only 3 persons so far, well at least until tonight. my mum is one of them and she was informed a year later. and two friends also know but they knew afterwards, I mean after the rope didn't hold my weight! I'm an amateur but if it had worked you wouldn't have known here.

it wasn't because of some relationship break up, it was a very deep "calling"

now I'm joking about it but I am very serious about life and death issues.

anyways, I understand nepthys point of view because I haven't tried again cause the fact it didn't work was for me a sign that it wasn't right for me to go at this time. THEY didn't want me but I also realised that to my sisters especially it would be some karmic crisis that I would create for them... so yeah no suicide because of them.

I think nepthys is right all the way with her argument against suicide. this is in fact the main one as far as I am concerned, and if someone is able to live with the consequences of this choices, i.e. the pain inflicted to family members, then sure go all the way and do it. I'm not personnally against suicide, I think it's a brave thing. in fact I don't think much about it. cause if I think aobout it or not, will it change anything for anyone ... else but me?

on that note,