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Author Topic:   Thank You
PlutoSquared
Moderator

Posts: 1803
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010

posted November 27, 2010 02:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for letting me see things through your eyes... Thank you for also not being as harsh towards me as you could have been.

I am very sorry I crashed the Lindaland site. I will try to learn from this.

Thank you for seeing OVER my bad behavior, and focusing on what's more important - your relationships with each other.

I am going to try to now, avoid being careless, and retire into a very quiet "Beginners Astrology Forum" life. If anyone has anything else they would like to say to me, criticism, direction, or advice, feel free to tell me straight here, or email me at *********** to something nicer, today.

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PlutoSquared
Moderator

Posts: 1803
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010

posted November 27, 2010 02:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A member's post about Moderators:

For one thing, moderators should not be using words like attack, rude, insult..to a poster unless it is truly warranted..those words are very inflamitory.. when i came back the other day i was made to feel welcome by randall. the very next day a mod was suggesting i leave, for the 4-5 time, calling me insulting and then in the next post asking to be my friend. that is manipulative passive aggressive behavior. i was careful not to be insulting in anyway and to make sure to give my opinion in a non inflamitoy manner. accusations like that have been flying from certain new moderators, and without merit. i doubt randall and i came to an understanding just so his mod could point me to the door. this is NOT the only instance of this behavior. several of the same type of accusations went out to other members here, with suggestion that they leave and then the next sentence, can we be friends. that is not productive in any way whatsoever. and really not a way to make friends.
not insulting: if you are tired go to bed

insulting: you suck, get some sleep and lets see if you suck less tomorrow.

the new mods have to gain a better understanding of inflamitory catch words. new mods should not be fast to call someone insulting, rude, flamer or anything else unless they see it plain as day and it really is an issue.

the new mods should not suggest members find the door. as many left when they did. smart people with life experience who do not wish to be talked to in such a manner.

new mods should understand the basics of debate, how it is done, what is acceptable.

new mods should be consistantly nuetral.

new mods should never refer to randall as daddy, that grosses people out.

new mods should take the time to look something up prior to correcting people if they don't know the subject matter fully, they should be willing to educate themselves, learn and grow as part of a community.

but mostly, new mods should be respectful listeners. injecting peace, injecting fairness, injecting kindness, injecting things that will make the site better and boost morale instead of destroy it with harsh strong words used inappropriately.

mods should not be suggesting members leave, as a diverse community is to be desired and a worthy goal.

censoring of self prior to censoring of others.

ask yourself, is this an actual insult, or do i just feel insulted because i was wrong?

ask yourself, do i look up stuff i don't know that much about, or do i fly off the handle and insist i am right when i may not be?

is my interference in this matter necessary?
no name calling, no cursing, maybe not, maybe i should let grown ups who are debating properly although not agreeing alone to work it out or come to an understanding.

no matter the age, some maturity needs to be shown for the position.

and yes, i suggest that those who can not do this, should not have the position.

words like attack, rude, insulting, flamers ..are not necessary every single day or in many many of the situations that they are bandied about so carelessly.

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BearsArcher
Moderator

Posts: 195
From: Arizona with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2010

posted November 27, 2010 02:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BearsArcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Pluto- this is what I said to you in another thread:

PlutoSquared,

You remind me a lot of me when I first started on LL. You can ask any of the other old timers about how full of p1ss and vinegar I was (and sometimes can still be). I had (and still have at times) a very sharp keyboard (since I am not talking I can't say "tongue").

I like the sweet peas forum and would have really loved it 8 years ago when I was posting a few too many umm... sexual things (like Sextrology) but I learned. I had my fingers knocked to the dirt a few times for my lack of tact while posting. I also saw myself as the great defender of LL and anyone I saw as a troll I wanted to slice into two pieces. LOL... but, then I learned that I am not the great defender and people learn on their own accord. My Sag Sun / Aries moon has mellowed out over the years.

Hang in there- it will all even out and as far as LL... well, things will even out here as well. They always do.


ETA.. As an old timer, I never care who the mod is or how long they have been a member. I'm just happy that I don't have nor have ever had the responsibility of having to watch what I say (within reason).
__________________________________


Although you may come off as overly blunt at times, I think we all know that you are doing it because of your love of this site.

------------------
~Formerly known as pidaua :D

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PlutoSquared
Moderator

Posts: 1803
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010

posted November 27, 2010 02:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Another member's post about Moderators...

You remind me a lot of me when I first started on LL. You can ask any of the other old timers about how full of p1ss and vinegar I was (and sometimes can still be). I had (and still have at times) a very sharp keyboard (since I am not talking I can't say "tongue").

I like the sweet peas forum and would have really loved it 8 years ago when I was posting a few too many umm... sexual things (like Sextrology) but I learned. I had my fingers knocked to the dirt a few times for my lack of tact while posting. I also saw myself as the great defender of LL and anyone I saw as a troll I wanted to slice into two pieces. LOL... but, then I learned that I am not the great defender and people learn on their own accord. My Sag Sun / Aries moon has mellowed out over the years.

Hang in there- it will all even out and as far as LL... well, things will even out here as well. They always do.


ETA.. As an old timer, I never care who the mod is or how long they have been a member. I'm just happy that I don't have nor have ever had the responsibility of having to watch what I say (within reason).

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BearsArcher
Moderator

Posts: 195
From: Arizona with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2010

posted November 27, 2010 02:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BearsArcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LOL... well, you just posted what I reposted LOL... Hang in there, it will all work out.

------------------
~Formerly known as pidaua :D

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PlutoSquared
Moderator

Posts: 1803
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010

posted November 27, 2010 02:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you, Bear Archer. I appreciate your advice and help, very much.

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PlutoSquared
Moderator

Posts: 1803
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010

posted November 27, 2010 02:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know! How funny. It was good advice!

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charmainec
Moderator

Posts: 889
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 27, 2010 02:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for charmainec     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
PS

------------------

quote:
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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PlutoSquared
Moderator

Posts: 1803
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010

posted November 27, 2010 02:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Another Member's post about Moderators:

There is a point where people agree to disagree if they try more than once to agree. this is going pointlessly far don't soem of you think?

if you believe in something strongly and another does too that is different, its pointless to go on and on?

is such a shame that people have to duke it out after about 20 posts of back and forth explaining and pushing of one anothers point until one says "well, you are right and i was wrong".

it matters too much to some of us than it ever should.

being a moderator is a hard job, it means biting the bullet, being Very objective, its no different than working customer services.

you are here to serve the forum and its members.

i see power tripping, and squabbles.

if you are a moderator, and you are keeping personal - personal conflict with a member out of your relation to them and remain objective and solution-searching as possible, you are likely doing your job very well.

a moderator should be able to take a step back, evaluate maturely waht is going on and make the right decision that brings the temprature down, not heat it up.

members will be unfair to moderators at times, but they will be dealt with or punished if necessary to resolve the situation. in that position as a moderator, you have to be able to handle this, not let your personal subjective reaction to whats taking place, get ahold of you.

most importantly, a moderator needs to know when to let it go.

that's all.

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PlutoSquared
Moderator

Posts: 1803
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010

posted November 27, 2010 02:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Another Member's Post About Moderators...

The least most of us were, when the new Mods were appointed, was congratulatory. This has nothing to do with people being upset because new members were made Mods. I was not here for even 9 months when I was made a mod.
My issue with PlutoSquared is that she made other Mods look bad by her behaviour. Unfortunately, even though we are individuals, the members and onlookers do lump us all together as "the Mods". I found it very inconsiderate that PlutoSquared didn't see that her actions, even though she can do whatever she wants, affected other people.

It is hard to keep one's cool all the time. I've been insulted here so many times, and each time I had to bite my tongue and put my ego aside. And, so after all that hard work of striving to lead by example, PlutoSquared swoops down like a hawk and destroys all that effort I've made? This didn't make me happy at all.

And, for sure, if I didn't give Randall the benefit of the doubt with his choices, and if I wasn't a Mod, I'd be banned because PlutoSquared disrespected not only the people she was addressing, but everyone who had tried hard to keep this community evolved.

I have nothing personal against you PlutoSquared. At some point I thought you were awesome. I hope you really think more of the good of whole system than just the self.

I can come off harsh when I'm unhappy, so I will understand if you don't take this well.

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PlutoSquared
Moderator

Posts: 1803
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010

posted November 27, 2010 02:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Another Member's Post About Moderators...

We can continue being part of the problem or be part of the solution.

I~m sure you are a well intending young woman but there`s a time to let go, You can`t cut the dogs head off and still expect it to wag it`s tail.

A bit of useful info (you determine) is as a Mod, you are indeed held to a higher standard as a guide. Be what you desire to see and relax, enjoy your time here and grow with fine companionship.

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PlutoSquared
Moderator

Posts: 1803
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010

posted November 27, 2010 02:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Another Member's Post About Moderators...

It's hard to teach respect for individuals (members) when it hasn't been ingrained in one's life up to now. It's hard to teach the sublimating of the ego and it's hard to begin the expunging of Ego - Ego will cause you to do or say ANYTHING so that you can "win" and seem powerful, but that is a grievous use of your power where I have no doubt that karma will return to balance the imbalance created by ego. The deflating of very large egos will happen over time when hundreds of members get out their little pins and prick the balloon of a Mod's OversizeEgo.

Next, humility needs to be explored as to its function in interactions. Humility is generally the realization that "Wow! I *don't* know everything!" Humility is a trait to be proud of

Thirdly, use compassion. You don't know what kind of a hard day the poster had - death in the family, serious illness, sudden financial worries, so perhaps you might back off a little in spouting rules and pointing fingers of blame and let them vent a little - they deserve just as much respect as anyone else here to speak their piece and hopefully find compassion, instead of condemnation, the dictionary definitions of words, or being invited to come back after 2023 :-\

New Mods here originally learned the ropes by closely interacting with the veteran mods. Since by now, I'm not sure how many of us older/ex-mods would relish walking into such a "teaching" position, given the "compassion" dressed in hobnail boots I've seen members endure here for the past week, I fear the new regime will have to strive to live up to their great honor and serious jobs without the benefit of much of the wisdom of the past and the ones who went before. As most of you new mods reject what we veterans have to say anyway, without even completely hearing us out, I guess there's very little left to say except Good Journey.

Except one thing from me: If you email me, PlutoSquared, to ask questions or gather opinion, I will answer you. Regardless of my voluntary lack of standing at this place now, I STILL CARE about LL and want to see if we can arrive at a compromise that most can work with. I understand the reasons for your defensiveness, your gloating and your power-tripping, though you might think I don’t. Perhaps this thread has opened eyes today, and that tomorrow LL can begin healing.

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Azalaksh
Knowflake

Posts: 979
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 27, 2010 02:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is a very gracious thread
I hope that all who "need" to read it will find it in themselves to do so, without engaging the defensiveness or self-pity that Egos put up to fight a perceived threat.

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bunnies
Knowflake

Posts: 315
From: u.k
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 27, 2010 03:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bunnies     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are lovely. And courageous.
And deserving of a postion of trust.
And life is too short

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 2904
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 27, 2010 03:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I respect you more than you know, PS. Don't retire into your Forum. Stay active.

------------------
"The earth is not given to us by our mothers and our fathers, it is borrowed from our children."

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katatonic
Knowflake

Posts: 5796
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 27, 2010 03:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i have to chime in yes it is a very gracious post. dont beat yourself up however, the brouhaha here was only PARTLY to do with you.

i remember when i first came here quite a few people made snidey comments at me when i pushed myself into a thread of strangers. it happens. people get close and a newbie walks in and acts as if they belong...i have been there enough times in life to shrug it off .

no need to retire. sparks and fires are part of the scheme of things too! but a little diplomacy, as you've seen, can go a very long way!

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 3502
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted November 27, 2010 03:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are a darling person, PS

------------------
It is either a lesson or a blessing .

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firecracker
Knowflake

Posts: 150
From: all places
Registered: Nov 2010

posted November 27, 2010 04:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for firecracker     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
your a good egg kiddo! it takes a lot to think about stuff like that objectively. i respect that a whole lot. i could see it last night. dont beat yourself up, we all make mistakes. i think you will, over time make some really good friends here. i like you. i see a lot of me in you. i used to go in both guns blaring, oh i know you cant picture it at all, but i did. (smile)....you'll be just fine, me thinks. you will find people on here really don't hold grudges. have a good night. you are welcome to be active in all of the forums, don't cut yourseELF off.

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eskimono
Knowflake

Posts: 694
From: uk
Registered: Dec 2009

posted November 27, 2010 04:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for eskimono     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

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AbsintheDragonfly
Knowflake

Posts: 1819
From: Gaia
Registered: Apr 2010

posted November 27, 2010 04:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AbsintheDragonfly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
PlutoSquared,

It's hard to look at yourself honestly and see that you have things you could change to do better. Kudos to you for seeing how to improve. That's the first step.

I learned alot about myself when I became a parent, because I had to break the cycle of child abuse. It's about being mindful each moment. Not equating what you did with child abuse, just remembering how hard it was for me to change. take each day at a time and do your best.

Good for you

I think I wrote about how when I frist became mod. One thing I forgot to say was that there was this one poster, who shall remain nameless, who would deliberately try to provoke me into a fight. Ugg. That was the true test of patience. I am proud to say though, that I didn't fall for his trap.

Don't hole yourself up now, just remember to count to 10 if you find yourself getting riled up.

Blessings,
ADfly

------------------
We justify ourselves each time we take a breath...

Me

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PlutoSquared
Moderator

Posts: 1803
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010

posted November 27, 2010 05:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you again, everybody. I know I don't know you, but I LOVE YOU! hehehe.

Even if saying that makes me feel really funny!

I'm a little rough around the edges

Anyways, I guess I'll see you guys on the forums, then

------------------
The good is the beautiful.

- Plato

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teasel
Knowflake

Posts: 2683
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 27, 2010 05:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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GypseeWind
Moderator

Posts: 4602
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted November 27, 2010 06:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A very good gesture PS, I wish you well.

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FrozenQueen
Knowflake

Posts: 549
From: 11th Dimension
Registered: May 2010

posted November 27, 2010 07:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for FrozenQueen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
...And the dust settles to reveal a new landscape...

To Peace and a new day

------------------
अस्तो मा सद् गमय |
तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय |
मृत्योन् मा अमृतं गमय् ||
ॐ शांति शांति शांति

From the unreal, lead me to the real,
From the darkness, lead me to light,
From death and destruction, lead me to immortality.
Peace. Peace. Peace.

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StarrofVenusGirl
Moderator

Posts: 1025
From: Down the Rabbit Hole
Registered: Jun 2009

posted November 27, 2010 07:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarrofVenusGirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Practice makes perfect.

Very gutsy post.

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