posted February 10, 2011 05:01 AM            

I was wondering about this today, bouncing ideas around with myself when I gathered an old thought pattern and renewed it for debate. It is the ultimate question for most people.

HOW TO FIND THE ONE??????

I don't even need to mention the amount of books that have been written on this topic. It just shows how much the concept of Love is important to us. I had updated my FB status to 'Food nourishes the body, but Love nourishes the soul'. A friend of mine wrote that it was true but there wasn't enough Love in the world and he had personally experienced it.

I could start by bashing his beliefs and say flippantly, 'Oh, that's the Law of Attraction, if you think there ain't enough Love, you won't find it,' but I realised it called for a deeper thinking than just LoA. What my friend feels about Love is not something unique to him and this belief is almost universal and if we look around ourselves then we see evidence of this belief everywhere: relationships and marriages falling apart, break-ups driving people into depression, broken homes,etc.

Yes, Love is in short supply because people don't spread enough Love. Love cannot come from outside, it has to come from within. Most people spend their lives looking for the One, trying desperately to find a magic solution to this problem. We read books upon books on dating, self-improvement etc. but time and time again we fall short of our goal and throw our hands up in desperation and frustration.

How difficult is it to find a partner who is loving, kind, considerate, helps with the housework, is a good listener, free with compliments and not afraid of commitment?

If you look around, you'd say it is next to impossible

But here's my question: how many of us spend time to perfect ourselves and become what we so desire in another so that when the perfect One comes along, they will want us too?

It is simple logic(please hold back on lashing out at me for mixing Love and logic).

We usually look to a partner to fulfil the voids within us. Let's say we want a partner who is not jealous or possessive even though we ourselves are. What are the odds of finding someone like this. Fairly good based on mere probability but what happens when such a person comes along?

We will sabotage our relationship with our own jealousy and possessiveness and end up driving that person away. If I feel unloved and want a partner who loves me but I am not willing to give Love to them, will they want me?

No, never.

I want someone who does not hold grudges but am unable to see someone else's view and let go of the need to one-up on others, won't I do the same to my perfect partner? Will it be fair to then to blame them when they leave out of sheer frustration?

So here's a simple plan to follow:

STEP 1: List all the attributes you want in your perfect partner. Be as specific as possible.

STEP 2: Take the attributes one by one and see if you measure up to your own self.

STEP 3: Develop the qualities you want from the other in yourself.
If you want more love, start by showing more Love.
If you want a partner who is a good listener, start by lending out an empathetic ear to others.
If you want a partner who is non-judgemental, try to see the views of others without condemning them.
If you want a partner who is kind, start by being compassionate.
If you want someone who does not hold grudges, learn to forgive and let go of thoughts of revenge.

STEP 4: Keep at this and you will find gradually, that you begin to enjoy your own company and as this happens, others would enjoy your company too.

Remember,
As ABOVE so BELOW
As WithIN so WithOUT

posted February 10, 2011 11:16 AM            

You reminded me of an incident a couple weeks ago. I was going through some old boxes and throwing stuff out. And I came across my wedding (no.2) video. I decided to pop it in for the kids to chuckle at.

I had forgotten so much about it, because it was 20 years ago.
But, almost NOTHING in the wedding was the way I wanted it!
I had music that I hated, b/c my husband liked it.
I had food I didn't want, b/c my husbands family owned a restaurant, and they gave us the food as a gift, but along with the gift came the request that we use plates with the restaurant name on them, instead of the colored themed plates for the wedding, which I gave in to.

I even had people in the wedding that I didn't know, just to please others!
Blah!

A Libra Moon person will probably always try to compromise and bend over backwards for the sake of the partnership. It's ok.
I recognize that about myself, and accept it, but, when you lose yourself, that's when we have a problem.

posted February 17, 2011 08:21 AM            

How do I identify with all the general assumptions about relationships? I took a good long look at this one.
Fact: I don't fit into the "cookie-cutter" mold of relationships.
Secondly, though, I have had to evolve my thinking to be able to deal with what I supposedly "really" want from relationships.
Right now I have absolutely NO need of wanting to shack up - all I want is companionship and/ or an affair, if I like the guy. We are continually told what we "should" want, but quite often it doesn't fit a lot of us at all.

So I'm into doing whatever it is I love doing hobby-wise, socializing, being my wonderful self, and not even thinking about finding The One, I'm just out to have a good time. I'm not even sure there is a "One" to be honest with you...