Posts: 2298
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 14, 2011 05:47 AM            

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Yesterday was the lowest of the low when all the troubles and emotions from the past came flooding back forcing me to see and accept them. Usually when there was any sort of trauma in my life they’d be buried deep and far away; so deep that they’d never be given the opportunity to surface again. It was a defense mechanism to protect myself.

Randall had mentioned to me that I need to figure out what my illness is trying to teach me. Initially it didn’t sink in and my mind was on candy at that moment. I turn to candies and all sorts of sweets when I feel bad because the pay off is that for a short while those candies make me forget (not helping with the Diabetes at all).

While I was in that rut of self pity and all the “why’s” from being in hospital, facing death (my heart stopped beating for 51:07 seconds – note number 13), kidneys failing to want to function, then returning home and having to deal with personal matters that needed immediate attention. It was too much.

Later yesterday evening while taking in all the advice that was given, it struck me…I was treating my illness the same way I treat trauma or problems too hurtful for me to face. The difference is the diabetes can’t be buried; it’s there constantly reminding me of its presence. It won’t be ignored and if I do, there are consequences. EVERYTHING that happened played out the way it was supposed to. This was my wake up call with a big bang!

To be continued ... have to make a few calls. My best friend and I are organizing something special for an orphanage for Easter

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From: on the other side of the rainbow
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posted April 14, 2011 06:32 AM            

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The lesson is: facing the demons and working through them. Linda reminds us in Star Signs that the body, mind and spirit work together and when one is out of balance the other two follow. I can’t overcome the diabetes (physical) if I refuse to face buried demons (emotional).That was my AH HA moment.

We often do take many of the blessing we have for granted. Appreciate the loved ones in your life even if they annoy you from time to time. It’s amazing how petty some situations look form the outside looking in even when it appears to be a big deal in that moment. Letting go and true forgiveness is one the most liberating experiences.

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From: on the other side of the rainbow
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posted April 14, 2011 06:32 AM            

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dp

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Posts: 1784
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 14, 2011 09:10 AM            

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You are an amazing woman Charmainec.

I am humbled by your strength and generous heart.

May you find the peace, joy and health that is your birthright.

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~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson

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Posts: 7937
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 14, 2011 11:37 AM            

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We tend to live our lives as if the mind is servant to the body, but actually, the reverse is true. I'm glad you finally had you AH-HA moment. No big deal--it just took dying to get you there. You should look at your chart for more clues, but read it as if it is someone else's, so you can "see." My chart shows protection from people in high places, but it also shows that I will achieve a good measure of public acclaim (a small taste of which is Lindaland), and with said acclaim will come enemies of all sorts (whether I deserve them or I don't), and some of those enemies will be direct while others are hidden in shadows, but the one thing they will all have in common is that they will always fail. And indeed they have. Perhaps, you, too, have similar placements that might bear some researching. Bottom line...no one and nothing is going to stop me from accomplishing the things I want to accomplish. I never quit. Over, around, under, or through..every obstacle comes with its own tailored way of overcoming it...you just have to find which way it is and follow through.

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"All deaths are suicides, do you realize that? Every single one. The only distinction is that, with some people, suicide is a subconscious choice, and with others it's a conscious choice. Otherwise, those who commit suicide and those who succumb to accident, illness or "old age," die for exactly the same reason: belief in the inevitability of death." Linda Goodman

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Posts: 8998
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted April 14, 2011 11:52 AM            

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Your life has a bigger purpose than yourself,Randall
In LL,alone, you lead by example.

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Life is lived in the sand box.

He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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From: Australia
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 14, 2011 07:06 PM            

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From:
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posted April 15, 2011 05:53 AM            

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celebrating the revelation! Revelations change the direction of our life and how! So it definately requires a celebration. So we want chocolates and ice-creams and what not!

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From: on the other side of the rainbow
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posted April 15, 2011 06:08 AM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by abcd efg:
:fireworks: celebrating the revelation! Revelations change the direction of our life and how. So it definately requires a celebration. So we want chocolates and ice-creams and what not!

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Oh no,it's going to be carrot sticks and oatmeal biscuits

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From: on the other side of the rainbow
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posted April 15, 2011 06:10 AM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by juniperb:
You are an amazing woman Charmainec.

I am humbled by your strength and generous heart.

May you find the peace, joy and health that is your birthright.

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Juni, many members here are such
I was overwhelmed when I saw all the lovely messages and posts wishing me a speedy recovery

I can't thank everyone enough

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Posts: 2298
From: on the other side of the rainbow
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posted April 15, 2011 06:11 AM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
We tend to live our lives as if the mind is servant to the body, but actually, the reverse is true. I'm glad you finally had you AH-HA moment. No big deal--it just took dying to get you there. You should look at your chart for more clues, but read it as if it is someone else's, so you can "see." My chart shows protection from people in high places, but it also shows that I will achieve a good measure of public acclaim (a small taste of which is Lindaland), and with said acclaim will come enemies of all sorts (whether I deserve them or I don't), and some of those enemies will be direct while others are hidden in shadows, but the one thing they will all have in common is that they will always fail. And indeed they have. Perhaps, you, too, have similar placements that might bear some researching. Bottom line...no one and nothing is going to stop me from accomplishing the things I want to accomplish. I never quit. Over, around, under, or through..every obstacle comes with its own tailored way of overcoming it...you just have to find which way it is and follow through.

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Onward and Upward!!!

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Posts: 686
From: The Beach
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 15, 2011 09:31 AM            

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So glad you are back <3

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Posts: 2298
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 18, 2011 04:25 AM            

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It's good to be back.

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Posts: 7937
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 18, 2011 12:42 PM            

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It's good to have you back. I was very worried and shed many a tear.

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"All deaths are suicides, do you realize that? Every single one. The only distinction is that, with some people, suicide is a subconscious choice, and with others it's a conscious choice. Otherwise, those who commit suicide and those who succumb to accident, illness or "old age," die for exactly the same reason: belief in the inevitability of death." Linda Goodman

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Posts: 1784
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 18, 2011 12:58 PM            

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oatmeal biscuits, yum yum

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~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson

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From: on the other side of the rainbow
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posted April 19, 2011 08:38 AM            

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Randall,the storm has passed.Life will throw curve balls but we've made it through stronger and better.I appreciate all you've endured with me and done for me

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posted April 19, 2011 08:47 AM            

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Juni, add some milk and honey to those oatmeal cookies and you have instant cereal

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Posts: 1784
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 19, 2011 09:37 AM            

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instant roughage for sure

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~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson

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Posts: 1784
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 19, 2011 09:37 AM            

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dp
but now I`m hungry
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~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson

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From: on the other side of the rainbow
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posted April 19, 2011 09:38 AM            

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From:
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posted April 19, 2011 10:21 AM            

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Glad youre feeling better charmaine!

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From: on the other side of the rainbow
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posted April 19, 2011 10:22 AM            

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Thanks T!

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From:
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posted April 19, 2011 10:31 AM            

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From: on the other side of the rainbow
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posted April 20, 2011 09:32 AM            

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Posts: 5978
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 20, 2011 10:50 AM            

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charmainec
You are indeed an amazingly beautiful soul and
much stronger than you previously realized!
My diabetes is not as bad as yours,
but dying is a thing I experienced many times due to blunt head trauma and a long history of mini-strokes and illnesses and other injuries.
Each time upon returning,
the epiphanies would come, transforming me and my view of ALL things, including self, each time more aware.
I must consider therefore, all these events as blessings in disguise.
You dear sweet Charmaine have been blessed.
Love you dear heart
Thank you for being my friend.

PS.
I deeply apologize for not seeing this thread earlier.
Much going on in my life including my renewal
epiphanies, and relationship with The All.
But know this;
My love for you endures even though I cannot always be there for you.
Great Love And Blessings to you Charmaine.

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~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Nikola Tesla
~There is no box.~H♥
~Balance is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself.~Felipe
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
~It is far better to regret wrong paths taken than to regret the paths not tried~Giselle
}><}}}(*>~

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