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Author
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Topic: Grieviance procedure on lindaland
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Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 1341
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2011 10:50 AM
  
What is the procedure for when people are bullied on here, especially if it's by one of the moderators?I did ask in the 'bullying' thread, but, for some reason, the thread was closed by a moderator who is accused of bullying. I think we have established that sweeping the issue under the carpet and turning a blind eye, allowing the bully to stop the claims for action to be done, like shutting the thread, does not work. Hate to say this, but moderators can bully too, especially if they have the 'power' to make people shut up about what is actually going on, by closing the thread. Is Randall the big guy here, who the buck stops with, or as these moderator bullies the ones who have the final say. Is Randall too busy for a hot topic, or has he just turned a blind eye? This site, whether you like it or not, endorses and allows bullying to take place.
IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3484
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2011 10:52 AM
Take it straight to Randall.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8662
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 19, 2011 10:54 AM
Dear Coffee
I know I said this on the other thread so forgive me, everyone ,for repeating.
Randall gives us LL from the goodness of his heart. It is not his job. He does not profit from LL.
In fact,I think he said HE puts money in to it.
Someone offered to buy it.I assume he could have gotten quite a bit of money.
He refused out of love for it,I can only suppose ,and love for US, the people of LL.------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8662
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 19, 2011 10:56 AM
This is just MY insight.*I* cannot speak for Randall or anyone but myself.
However,I think he could NOT supervise bullying.
It is untenable,unworkable.
IF he did ,we would not like the result,either.
It would not be free. Yes, I agree on bullying--completely.
However, anyone will be bullied when he walks out his front door.
One has to learn to navigate it.No one can make bullying go away,Coffee dear  ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 1341
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2011 10:59 AM
Well, hopefully good old karma turns round and bites them in the arse. Only then will they know what bullying is.Bullies, can we leave this thread unlocked please, no need to lock the other one. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3484
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2011 11:00 AM
No, no one can make bullying go away......especially when it's not happening.  IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8662
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 19, 2011 11:02 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Coffee:
Well, hopefully good old karma turns round and bites them in the arse. Only then will they know what bullying is.Bullies, can we leave this thread unlocked please, no need to lock the other one.
It ALWAYS bites them in the ass.Make no mistake about it  ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3484
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2011 11:04 AM
Yes, it does. As we witnessed, rather quickly in the other thread.  Cover you bums!  IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8662
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 19, 2011 11:06 AM
Coffee
You could ,always,go to Randall. *I* don't like to bother him so have not done it.
He is only one person and is busy so *I* don't go to him but he offers that to anyone who feels bullied so one could avail oneself of that ,too  ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
RMChex
Knowflake Posts: 96
From: England
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted April 19, 2011 11:50 AM
HiI responded in the previous thread, but this time your question is worded slightly differently, so I have a different answer for you. If there isn't a specific greivance procedure set up already, then perhaps have a look at the procedures in place on other similar size forums and adopt the rules from there. On other forums I am part of, the user is advised to treat each incident separately, report each individual instance of bullying at the time it is happening and to avoid responding from the moment you consider it bullying. I, personally, would think that anyone who is considering themselves bullied, should observe their own conduct and make sure it is squeaky clean/they have not incited reactions in any way. The old 'those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones' adage is still a good one. Another difficulty is what you might consider bullying, someone else may not, so not only do you want to know what the procedure to complain about it is, surely you also need a LindaLand definition of bullying? I'm not saying you have, as I don't know you well enough and it wouldn't be my place to comment anyway. I am just answering the question you posed as I see it. Regards
Rachel ------------------
"Vision without Action is a daydream... Action without Vision is a nightmare." IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Moderator Posts: 4066
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted April 19, 2011 11:50 AM
This is why we need "blind justice" because people's motives are so absolute and unwavering.IP: Logged |
Rogue Guru
Knowflake Posts: 82
From: Pleasantville, State of Euphoria, USA
Registered: Jan 2011
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posted April 19, 2011 11:57 AM
Coffee, I love your nickname. *Holds out cup.* Let's go, buddy. IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Moderator Posts: 4066
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted April 19, 2011 12:09 PM
I would also like to add, that when I talked about Death Predictions, Marijuana being a "unsafe" drug for everyone, etc...People were NOT happy. In fact, I met with my fair share of seasoned professional mental wrestlers who wanted to take me down for having a different opinion - but, NEVER did I feel "bullied". I was laughed at, scoffed at, called ignorant, judged, picked apart, called immoral, unethical, etc. etc. But, I EXPECTED it. I KNEW that everyone wasn't going to agree with me, but it was worth the risk of talking about the subject in my opinion. I KNEW that others would not have a certain kind of objectivity, and would come at me personally. Even so, I was NOT BULLIED. I own both the action and the consequence. If we start mandating that others never react, or get angry, or disagree - this world would turn into a looney bin with padded walls. Often times, what I also find is the people who can't say what they really mean (and claim to be bullied), abuse in other ways - like back-biting, pulling strings, crying wolf, etc. And, this also turns into an attempt to "Get Back" or "get revenge" on someone else. Who gets off pristine white clean perfect, here? IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8662
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 19, 2011 12:11 PM
If anyone is getting bullied, feel free to write to me and I will try to help you.
I,or anyone,can give you a hand.With that hand,you will learn what you need so you WON"T need a hand in the future ,as much.We,all,need hand,always,though.It is a matter of degree.
*I* would be gone,now,if not for about 8 friends who gave ME a hand.
They reached out to help me when I could not help myself.
Everyone is weak ,at the core,or CAN be weak with enough coming to them from the outside.
If you are being bullied and have no one to help, you need to reach out to someone who seems like they would be on your side.
My e mail is in Sweet Peas under the Moderators ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 1365
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2011 12:36 PM
Hello Coffee, The main issue is not that you are bullied, but that you are a man in a forum full of women and your choice of topics are controversial.
Of course we're going to feel strongly about subjects like child support because a lot of us have had to deal with those issues and it is hard and sometimes unfair. I disagree with the "blind justice"
If you implement that here it's going to set the theme and this will continue to be a battlefield. What we need is to remember why we're here, we are basically truth seekers and looking for ways to enrich our spirituality, if anything we need more compassion. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3484
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2011 12:41 PM
quote:
But, I EXPECTED it. I KNEW that everyone wasn't going to agree with me, but it was worth the risk of talking about the subject in my opinion. I KNEW that others would not have a certain kind of objectivity, and would come at me personally. Even so, I was NOT BULLIED.I own both the action and the consequence. If we start mandating that others never react, or get angry, or disagree - this world would turn into a looney bin with padded walls. Often times, what I also find is the people who can't say what they really mean (and claim to be bullied), abuse in other ways - like back-biting, pulling strings, crying wolf, etc. And, this also turns into an attempt to "Get Back" or "get revenge" on someone else. Who gets off pristine white clean perfect, here?
Thank you. And there we have it folks. Pretty plain and simple. I'd never spoken to Coffee before that thread & don't really care to again, btw. So it's odd for him to shout bully over ONE disagreement. I think he's just upset right now, licking his wounds and labeling people bullies is the only way he knows how to deal with it. IMO he's really reaching. Sometimes people butt heads on hot topics like that. It's over now. For me anyway, but he can continue to take it as far as he wants. It's become kind of boring. Maybe Randall will resolve it for him and he can go back on his merry way. & I for one, am headed back out to me garden. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8662
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 19, 2011 01:10 PM
edit
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8662
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 19, 2011 01:39 PM
quote:
Originally posted by lalalinda:
Hello Coffee, The main issue is not that you are bullied, but that you are a man in a forum full of women and your choice of topics are controversial.
Of course we're going to feel strongly about subjects like child support because a lot of us have had to deal with those issues and it is hard and sometimes unfair. I disagree with the "blind justice"
If you implement that here it's going to set the theme and this will continue to be a battlefield. What we need is to remember why we're here, we are basically truth seekers and looking for ways to enrich our spirituality, if anything we need more compassion.
Lala
To me, your wisdom is like an aspirational diamond.
I may have a diamond chip but I aspire to a 5K as I see in you ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
letram
Knowflake Posts: 1068
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2011 01:54 PM
apparently Lindaland is a bee's nest and now and then something has to disturb it otherwise its boring to look at.anyway, i don't think there is bullying going on, i think, if anything is proven by the history here, everybody is human, no staff member can be a literal robot. so everyone takes things personally, the challenging task of a moderator here is to treat their exchanges with members here like business, it is a position to serve the community, because they are given our trust to not abuse their power, and to moderate behavior. unfortunately, its not uncommon to see some moderators here show that they can't keep their personal feelings out of it when dealing with members or behavior. in those cases, thats when someone with a bit of power may try and enforce some "shushery". i concende there might be many forms of it im not witnessing, but from what i have seen, thats it. something can be done about it, this is true, but what members can fail to realize is, that in order to avoid these problems, it starts with their Own behavior to manage first sometimes. IP: Logged |
SunChild
Moderator Posts: 2181
From: Australia
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2011 05:33 PM
I'm sorry Coffee, I don't see where you were bullied. Can you please point toward a specific comment or a string of comments?
I read through that other thread from your perspective and I do not see where you were directly targeted, insulted or harrassed by one ore more people.
Though, I did see you dish a bit out yourself. So be fair.
I know that when a thread becomes heated (yours was warm in comparison) and the majority does not agree with one persons opinion, those feelings can be hard to deal with. Anyway, unless you can show exactly where you were bullied, then I don't think anyone can help you.
If you felt like someone did not treat you with respect you felt you deserved in that thread perhaps you can address that person. What would you like, an apology? Looking at that thread I can not find any particular comment. There are all sorts here Coffee, like in real life, different personalities, we can't like them all, some are as rough as sand paper but it's not bullying.
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juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1647
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2011 07:50 PM
Coffee, that thread was closed because you and others had their say. Anything beyond that would become haranguing. It is that simple. LLC2 is not the home for triades that spin in circles. Any grievence you have can be e mailed to the forums mods. If you feel they won`t be unbiased, e mail Randall. Before your thread, I never met you but you sound like an intellegent man. I hope you realize the thread was closed not deleted from sight. Everyone can reference it and draw their own conclusions.
Be well!
edited*
------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 1341
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 20, 2011 02:25 PM
So the answer is to seek counsel with friend of moderators Randall?I did ask 'T' and 'Pluto squared' to not reply to me at all. Obviously they cannot understand English. IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 5145
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 20, 2011 02:30 PM
I'm sure they do. They're just using their freedom.IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 56
From: ON Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 20, 2011 02:32 PM
I usually like the taste of coffee! I find this one a tad bitter though.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 7633
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 20, 2011 08:33 PM
The issue isn't about bullying. There can be unpopular opinions, and there can be freedom of expression disagreeeing with said opinions...but the problem comes when insults are hurled and/or it becomes about personal matters and not the issues themselves. That is not allowed.IP: Logged | |
Topic Closed
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